Bad Breath Jokes
95 bad breath jokes and hilarious bad breath puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bad breath that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Bad Breath Short Jokes
Short bad breath jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bad breath humour may include short halitosis jokes also.
- Gandhi walked barefoot most of the time, was quite skinny, and apparently had bad breath. That'd make him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis
- What do you call an incredibly insensitive shaman who's also weak and suffers from chronic bad breath? A super callous fragile mystic plagued by halitosis.
- I met a frail old wizard. He had bad breath and loads of blisters. He was a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
- What do you call a monk who walks everywhere in bare feet, has poor bone density and really bad breath? A super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
- What do you call a wizard who walks everywhere on bare feet, has poor bone density and really bad breath?
A super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis. - I asked my doctor how bad my breath is. "You see that broccoli over there?" he pointed.
"Yes..." I replied.
"That was a cauliflower before you started talking." - What do you call a really cranky shaman with bad breath and osteoporosis? A Super-calloused-fragile-mystic-hexed-by-halitosis
- Did you hear about the sickly magician with blisters and bad breath? He's a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
- How to tell someone they have a bad breath nicely ? "Oh boy I am bored lets brush our teeth"
- Have you heard about the barefoot frail wizard with bad breath? Well it's the first confirmed case of a super calloused fragile mystic hexed with halitosis
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Bad Breath One Liners
Which bad breath one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bad breath? I can suggest the ones about your breath is so bad and your breath.
- Why did the Albino pig have bad breath? He has no Pig mints.
- What do you give an apprehensive person with bad breath? An encourage mint.
- What do you get when you turn a blonde girl upside down? A brunette with bad breath
- What do you call a blonde upside down? A brunette with bad breath.
- Why do redheads have bad breath? Gingervitis
- Yo mommas breath smells so bad She should be wearing a diaper on her face.
- What would you call a store that sold only mints and gum? Bad Breath and Beyond.
- Why do cows have bad breath? Because they breathe dairy-air.
- What do you call an excellent marksman with bad breath? No Scope
- [nsfw] What does a blond become when she is turned uppside-down? A brunett with bad breath
- How do Zombies get rid of Bad Breath? They Munch on some Flesh Mint!
- Why can't you hang out with bears? Their bad breath is un-bear-able.
- Jesus never had bad breath. At-one-mint
- Even if your life is hard, don't sigh... You breath smells bad.
- Your breath smells so bad... You couldn't pass a breathalyzer sober!
Bad Breath Jokes to Giggle and Enjoy A Night of Unforgettable Laughter
What funny jokes about bad breath you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bad teeth jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make bad breath pranks.
Yo mama's breath is so bad people look forward to her farts!
Mahatma Gandhi often walked barefoot which produced an impressive set of callouses on his feet.
He also ate very little, making him rather frail and with his odd diet he often suffered from bad breath. This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed with halitosis.
Mahatma Gandhi often walked barefoot which produced an impressive set of callouses on his feet.
He also ate very little, making him rather frail and with his odd diet he often suffered from bad breath. This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed with halitosis.
Mahatma Gandhi often walked barefoot which produced an impressive set of callouses on his feet.
He also ate very little, making him rather frail and with his odd diet he often suffered from bad breath. This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed with halitosis.
Gandhi walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet.
He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
Yo mama breath smell so bad when she yawns her teeth duck.
When Moses came down the mountain, he noticed his followers had bad breath.
So he gave them the Ten Commandmints
My wife said it's either her or the dog.
​
So I've got to choose between a hairy, drooling mongrel with bad breath. . . or my beloved canine.
Tatoos of Elvis
A woman goes into a tattoo parlor and asks for a picture of Elvis be tattooed high up on her left thigh.
The tattoo guy complies, but when he's done, the woman looks at the result and says "That doesn't look like Elvis at all!"
The guy says, "I can't do anything to remove it, but I could try again on the other thigh".
The woman agrees, but when all is done, she thinks that the new tattoo looks nothing like Elvis, either and refuses to pay.
The tattoo artist makes a proposal, "Ma'am, I'll ask a customer in the waiting room to come in and have a look at the tattoos. If he can identify Elvis, you pay me. Otherwise, you owe me nothing."
The woman agrees. A customer is called in and the woman, dropping her pants and spreading her legs, says "Do you recognize these famous musicians?"
The guy looks, thinks for a minute, then says "I don't know about the twins, but the one in the middle with the beard and bad breath is definitely w**... Nelson."
Gandhi...
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him ....A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
Mahatma Gandhi...
...walked barefoot a lot, which probably produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. I've heard he also ate very little, which could have made him rather frail. The odd diet he kept leads me to believe he suffered from bad breath. I suppose you could have called him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
Have you heard about Gandhi?
Gandhi walked around a bunch and built up giant callouses on the bottoms of his feet. He fasted a bunch which gave his bones a rather fragile brittle nature. He was a spiritual man, a mystic to many people. And he had a strange diet of green tea and white rice which gave him constant bad breath.
So **tl;dr** Gandhi was a super-calloused, fragile mystic, vexed with halitosis.
Thought I'd share a favorite on my cake day
Gandhi used to walk barefoot on most days, neglecting modern footwear, and eventually grew a strong set of callouses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather weak and with his odd diet, suffered from very, very bad breath. To others he smelled atrocious, this super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
Since Ghandi walked barefoot, and ate a diet giving him bad breath, he was...
A super Calloused Fragile Mystic Hexed by Halitosis!
Did you hear about the Shaman?
He chose to walk the world barefoot which caused he feet to blister a thousand times over.
He ate only bugs and berries that he found in nature which caused him to became very frail.
This diet also caused him to be plagued with horribly bad breath.
He was known as the Super Calloused Fragile Mystic Hexed by Halitosis.
Three fishermen
Bob, Steve, and Terry are out in the boat, fishing and drinking beer. Terry stands up to pee over the side but falls overboard and sinks right to the bottom.
Steve doesn't hesitate. He kicks off his shoes and dives into the water after Terry. A few moments later, he surfaces, dragging the body behind, and immediately begins mouth-to-mouth.
"Jeez," he gasps. "Terry sure does have bad breath!"
"Yeah," says Bob. "And where did he get that snowmobile suit?"
Mahatma Gandhi was a good man...
He also had an odd diet which gave him a pretty pungent breath, not only did he have bad breath from his diet but it also made him incredibly skinny. Another thing he did was walk around barefoot all the time so his feet were tougher than most people's.
I guess you could call him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
There once was an old mystic
He was too poor to afford shoes, so he often had sores on his feet, and since he was old, he could easily break his bones if he was not careful. He also had a very bad diet, so his breath smelt terrible.
I guess you could say he was a....
**Super Calloused Fragile Mystic Hexed with Halitosis**
Gandhi, as you know, would walk barefoot everywhere...
...and as a result he developed these massive callouses on his feet. He would also fast, from time to time. Because of this lack of food his bones became extremely brittle. It would also give him hallucinations from time to time. Finally, Gandhi never really had the time to clean his teeth and he became cursed with really bad breath.
In summary, Gandhi was a super-calloused fragile mystic plagued with halitosis.
So we all know about Gandhi right?
Well Gandhi as well know was a very important person who in recent times has taken on a mystic quality to some. He often fasted for long periods of time making him rather weak and fragile, he went barefoot for long periods of time and so it's fair to assume he built up lots and lots of callouses and he was reported at one point to have very bad breath because of a gum disease. This all means he was a...
Super Calloused Fragile Mystic Hexed By Halitosis
How you heard about the new bad breath removal strategy?
They call it the tic-tac tactic.
The very spiritual Gandhi walked everywhere, leaving him with impressive calluses. And he ate very little, which made him rather frail. His odd diet also plagued him with bad breath. I guess you could say.....
That he was a super callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
What do you call a chubby girl who's cranky, has bad breath and doesn't screw?
You don't call her.
Ghandi
Ghandi was a mystical prophet of god. He wore no shoes,so he developed many callouses on his feet. He was a fruititarian,eating no protein,so his limbs were very spindly. Also,he never cleaned his teeth,so he was eternally cursed with bad breath. This made him a…"Super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis".
There's no easy well to tell your girlfriend that she has bad breath.
I think I'm just going to stop kissing your girlfriend.
Imagine if trees gave off Wi-Fi signals, we would be planting so many trees and we'd probably save the planet too.
Too bad they only produce the oxygen we breath.
What does an onion and a p**... have in common?
They give you really bad breath when you eat them.
A hero named "Super Cal" suffers from a slight weakness that curses his own body. However, he does have a certain strength. It's, unfortunately, his bad breath that makes him fairly unattractive.
So, basically..."Super Cal is fragile-ish except for Halitosis"
So there was a monk...
This particular monk could only eat garlic for his religious diet, which made him EXTREMELY weak, and also gave him bad breath. Also, like most other monks he wore no shoes, which gave him many callouses.
This made him a "super calloused fragile mystic hexed with halitosis."
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away...
Too bad we all can't be asthmatics!
Once, there was a monk
This monk wore no shoes, so his feet became really, really, tough. He also ate a diet consisting of only garlic, which made him weak and gave him bad breath.
This made him a *super-calloused-fragile-mystic-hexed-with-halitosis*
Y'know Mahatma Gandhi?
Well, he walked a lot, and that means he had really calloused feet.
He also had an odd diet, that didn't consist of much, which made him frail.
This diet also gave him very bad breath.
This made him...
A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
Old monk
There once was a very old monk that tended to break his bones when he fell down. He always walked barefooted everywhere he went so his feet were more callouses than soft skin. No one talked to him very long because his breath was so bad it could wilt flowers. They called him Super-calloused-fragile-mystic-cursed-with-halitosis
A woman is suicidally depressed
She's quite obese, unattractive, and lonely. Life having dealt her a bad hand, she buys a p**... and resolves to end her own life.
Wanting it to be quick, she calls her doctor to ask him where the heart is.
"It's right under the left breast", he replies.
So she hangs up, takes a deep breath, and shoots herself in the knee.
Ghandi
Mahatma Gandhi lived a strange life
Because of his odd diet, he was plagued by a constant case of bad breath. This diet also left him rather thin and frail.
Because he didn't wear shoes, and he walked everywhere, he developed an impressively thick set of calluses on the soles of his feet.
All-in-all, he was a super-callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis
You know what's worse than bad breath?
h**... addiction.
What did the elephant say to the n**... man?
"How do you breathe out of that thing?"
My Uncle with whom I share a love of bad jokes told me that.
The reason I check my hair and my general appearance so often, is because of this one bad day. I can't even say I remember it, but I am told my hair was a mess, I was covered with unspeakable fluids, had trouble breathing, couldn't even stand, and I cried in front of everyone.
I'm still trying to live down the day I was born.
Economy
My friend was helping me understand economics. He asked, what is something that would be good for the economy? I said, Chicken. He says yeah..ok, so what would be bad for the economy?
Me: If they breathed fire!
My dad's favorite. (Get the groan ready)
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet.
He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and...with his odd diet...he suffered from bad breath.
This made him...
...a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
I had to break up with my girlfriend because she had bad breathe...
... I guess it just wasn't mint to be.
Yo momma's breath is so bad...
She can just whisper the word "hi" and revive a room full of coma patients.
Johnny Carson Classic
The air quality in Los Angeles is so bad...
How bad is it?
When locals want to breathe fresh air, they s**... the air out of tires from cars with out-of-state license plates.
I feel bad for people who have asthma
Because out of all the things you could be bad at, you s**... at breathing.
Mahatma Ghandi walked thousands of miles with bare feet...
This caused him to develop an impressive set of callouses.
He also are very little, which made him rather frail, and due to this strange diet, suffered from bad breath.
All told, he was a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
Ghandi never wore shoes...
...so he had thick skin on his feet. He was quite a weak man, though spiritual. And because of his poor diet, he often had bad breath.
You could say he was a super-calloused fragile mystic, hexed with halitosis.
Their ones was a very old monk...
who took a while to get anywhere he was going because he was afraid that he would fall and break something. Everywhere he went he would walk in his bare feet because he had forsworn shoes as part of his vows. His breath was so bad that people claimed that they could smell it from the other room. They called him the Super-calloused-fragile-mystic-hexed-with-halitosis.
So Gandhi wandered the desert barefoot and had hard, worn feet...
He was very thin from fasting often, his followers considered him prophetic, and because of his fasting and strange diet had chronic bad breath.
In short, you could say he was a
Super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis
Al, Ben, and Carl were fishing in the middle of a lake when Al fell overboard.
Ben jumped into the lake to rescue Al. When he finally found Al, he threw the body onto the boat and Carl pulled him up.
As soon as Ben was safely in the boat, he noticed that Al wasn't breathing, so he quickly gave Al mouth-to-mouth.
"Yuck!" said Ben. "I don't remember Al having such bad breath."
"Come to think of it," said Carl, "I don't remember him wearing ice skates either."
I thought eating abalone would give me bad breath
but it turns out I was just reading the genus wrong.
The Mystical Mahatma Gandhi
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. So I guess you could say he was a...
super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
Gandhi, the first hippie
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet.
He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.
This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
A man is walking his pet carrot
As he's walking his pet carrot it gets hit by a car. After rushing to the ER the man paces the waiting room as the doctor comes out exhausted from surgery. Doctor, is my carrot alive are they ok? The doctors sighs. I have good news and bad news. The good news is your pet carrot is alive the man breathes a sigh of relief. What's the bad news doctor? The doctor looks him in the eyes and says Well I'm sorry but, your carrots gonna be a vegetable for the rest of its life.
I know it's dumb it was just of favorite of my grandfathers a long time ago and I thought I'd share it.
So a doctor walks into the room
So a doctor walks into the room and tells his patient "Alright, so I've got some bad news"
The patient says "Aw geez, I'm not getting anything named after me am I?"
"No, no," the doctor says, "you're not getting anything named after yourself," and the patient breathes a sigh of relief.
And then the doctor says "It's going to be named after me"
What do we know about Gandhi?
Well, he walked barefoot and was a vegetarian.. he ate very little and practiced yoga, and was a minimalist who likely didn't brush his teeth either, giving him bad breath.
He was a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
