Bad Birthday Jokes
21 bad birthday jokes and hilarious bad birthday puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bad birthday that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Bad Birthday Short Jokes
Short bad birthday jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bad birthday humour may include short birthday bad jokes also.
- Today would've been my mother's 50th birthday... But due to drug use and bad choices We all forgot about it
- I've just got my son a flat piece of cardboard for his birthday. I guess I'll never know why he so badly wanted an ex box.
- Meat Loaf has made great music. Meat Loaf has had iconic film roles. Meat Loaf will see his 75th Birthday Whoops. Now don't be sad, 'cause two out of three ain't bad.
- I bought my daughter some stuffed animals for her birthday. In hindsight, getting them at the taxidermist was probably a bad idea.
- My wife was worried about getting older, so before she woke up on her birthday, I cut off all the white hairs she had. For some reason, she woke up bald and in a bad attitude
- My mom Last year my mom shoud have celebrated her 60th birthday. But because of alcohol, smoking, drugs and other bad decisions, we all forgot...
- People told me getting my girlfriend a refridgerator for her birthday present was a bad idea. But her face lit up when she opened it.
- Doctor: Good news! We organized a birthday party for you. Man: But my birthday isn't till next month.
Doctor: Which brings me to the bad news.. - Good news, I've been given a goldfish for my birthday...
The bad news is that I don't get the bowl until my next birthday! - Have you ever s**... up so bad that instead of fixing the problem you just decided to see how it played out? I'll never do that again, Happy Birthday - Mom
Share These Bad Birthday Jokes With Friends
Bad Birthday One Liners
Which bad birthday one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bad birthday? I can suggest the ones about old birthday and birthday fish.
- My milk expires on my birthday. Some would say, I'm bad to the bone.
- Bad birthday gift suggestion Drum set for Anne Frank.
The Funniest Bad Birthday Jokes for a Bone-Shaking Laugh
What funny jokes about bad birthday you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bad day jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make bad birthday pranks.
Larry was not a good gift giver.
Every time he gave his wife a gift for Christmas, her birthday, or their anniversary, she complained about what a sucky gift it was. She was starting to get angry.
"Larry, the next time you give me a bad gift, I will light it on fire!"
A week later was Larry's wife's birthday. She came down to see only one small box. She sighed and went to go get a lighter. She opened up the present. It was a candle.
I bought my nephew a pair of airpods for his birthday.
The kid was so ungrateful, he didn't even say thank you. He just started throwing up gang signs at me.
I think he's fallen into a bad crowd ever since he went deaf.
This past year has been a sad one. It would have been my Mother's 60th Birthday, which we would have celebrated with the whole family. But thanks to drugs, alcohol, and a whole lot of bad decisions...
We all forgot to show up.
My girlfriend of two years dumped me on her birthday. I dont know why she was so mad, I got her EXACTLY what she asked for; 10 cents and a bell...
...upon further reflection, I may have misunderstood "a dime and ring", my bad.
Husband:Happy Birthday Babyyyyy!!!
Wife:Aww Thankyou sweetheart, What you get me?
Husband:It was a surprise, but you remember that pink Lamborghini car you wanted so bad?
Wife:o**... o**... o**... o**...! YES YES YES YES
I'm Screaming Right Now o**...!!!
Husband:Well, I got you a toothbrush, Same color.
An old man wants to get life insurance
The employee working at the insurance company asks:
'How old are you, sir?'
'I'm 102.'
'102?! And you wanna get life insurance at *your* age? You know what? Come back tomorrow.'
'Tomorrow ain't good. We'll be celebrating my dad's birthday.'
'Your dad's birthday?! How old is he?'
'He's 139.'
'Okay, come back next week then.'
'Next week is definitely a bad time for me. We're gonna have a week-long party for my grandfather's wedding.'
'Your grandfather's weddig?! How old is he?'
'He's 164.'
'And he wants to get married at *his* age?'
'Nah, he doesn't, it's just that his parents are forcing him...'
David received a parrot for his birthday.
The parrot was fully grown with a bad attitude and worse vocabulary.
Every other word was an obscenity.
Those that weren’t expletives, were to say the least, rude.
David tried hard to change the bird’s attitude and was constantly saying polite words, playing soft music, anything he could think of. Nothing worked.
He yelled at the bird and the bird yelled back.
He shocked the bird and the bird just got more angry and more rude.
Finally, in a moment of desperation, David put the bird in the freezer, just for a few moments.
He heard the bird squawk and kick and scream-then suddenly, there was quiet.
David was frightened that he might have hurt the bird and quickly opened the freezer door.
The parrot calmly stepped out and said “I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I’ll endeavor at once to correct my behavior. I really am truly sorry and beg your forgiveness.”
David was astonished at the bird’s change in attitude and was about to ask what had made such a dramatic change when the parrot continued, “May I ask what did the chicken do?”