Backup Jokes

Following is our collection of duplicate humor and upload one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Backup puns for adults, dirty png jokes or clean federer gags for kids.

There is an abundance of icon jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 42 funniest jokes on backup. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any nypd witze you can hear about backup.

The Best jokes about Backup

A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?"

He answered, "Call for backup."

What did God say to Noah?

Do a backup, I'm going to format it.

A cops calls for backup from a crime scene

This is officer John, please send backup, a woman has shot her husband for stepping on the floor she had just mopped clean.

Have you arrested the woman?

No Sir, the floor is still wet.

If your soulmate dies before you meet them, do you get a backup soulmate?

"I meant questions about the midterm," my professor replied.

So a man gets pulled over for speeding...

The officer says " liscence and registration" the man says in response "But officer I.. I have a gun in my glove box" so the officer calls in his backup and the guy is sitting outside of his car when he says "I also have a body in the trunk" and then the cops have a detective come to file a report on this man and when the detective comes they start with the glove box and there's no gun, they now on to the trunk and there's no body and then the man says "and I bet he told you I was speeding too"


2 police officers were called to a domestic abuse,

2 police officers were called to a domestic abuse call. when they got there they had to call for backup. 2 police cars showed up making it 6 officers at the scene,

they called headquarters and spoke to their Captain.


"Captain we have a murder here"

"what happened?"

"a wife shot and killed her husband for walking on her still wet mopped kitchen floor"

"well, have you arrested her yet?"


"Not yet, the kitchen floor is still wet."

A Mother's Day joke.

A recruit at a police academy is asked some difficult questions when it comes to the job. He is asked,

"If you pulled over your mother, and had to arrest her, what would you do?"

The recruit replies, "I'd call for backup"

A man is pulled over by police for speeding

Police 1: do you know how fast you are going?

Man: no, but I do know I am escaping a bank heist.

Police 1: Really?

Man: yes, I robbed the bank and the loot is in my car's trunk

Police 1: is that everything?

Man: no sir, I have a dead body in my backseat and a gun in my glove compartment

[Police 1 calls for backup and now the swat team approaches the man's car]

SWAT 1: I'm going to need you step outside the vehicle

[ the man steps out and the police search the car]

SWAT 1: he appears to have no gun, no stolen money, and no dead body.

Police 1: but he told me he committed those crimes...

Man: well I bet that liar told you I was speeding too!

Yo momma's so fat

When she went to McDonalds they had to call Burger King for backup

And then the God said:

"Noah, make a backup. I'm going to format"

I like watching people run.

Out of the way from the backup camera on my wife's car.


WW2

During WW 2 a British commando is trained to drop into France and sabotage the enemy. He is given a full training and in his last session he is told where he will be dropped and that a bicycle will be there for him so he will be able to move around easily.

As he gets ready in the plane to jump out, he is told that he has a backup parachute incase the main one doesn't work.

As he jumps out of the plane the parachute doesn't open so he tries to open the backup chute. That also fails to open. As he's falling down he says to himself " This is just great! With my luck the bike isn't there either."

Don't have enough storage?

Buy a chinese phone, so you are ensured that CCP has backup of all your data.

If a cop car is stuck in reverse...

Does it need backup?

I've known my whole life that I'm an amazing back-up singer.

Every time I start to sing. People back-up

A man is stopped for speeding on the highway

The driver, when confronted by the cop to be issued a ticket, suddenly confesses that he has heroin with him in the vehicle.
Shocked, the cop calls for backup, explaining that the man who he caught speeding admitted that he had drugs on him.

A narcotics team arrives and searches the vehicle to find nothing of interest. Confronting the driver, they ask for an explanation.

"The cop said I had heroin in my car?! Of course not!" exclaims the driver.

"I bet he told you I was speeding too"

Said Moses after smashing the Ten Commandments:

It's okay, I have a backup in the cloud.

Newly Married Husband

Newly Married Husband puts a notice
in front of his residence:
FOR SALE
Computer and Encyclopedia both in
good condition.
Reason for selling:
No longer needed
Got married.
Wife knows EVERYTHING ...
with backup server called
"Mother In Law "

I've always wanted to drive trucks in reverse for a living...

...I think it'd make a good backup career.


I put my backup cheese grater in a glass box.

I'll break the glass in Queso-mergency

I wonder how many vampires

have been run over by people who backup just using their mirrors

Who's your favorite backup quarterback?

I think his name is Justin Case

What did God say to Noah?

"Make a backup, I need to re-format this."

What do you call backup milk?

*Secondairy*

Your options when you want to backup your data...

If you want to backup your data, you've got only 2 options. NAS or NSA.

I was having trouble reverse parking...

...until I tried my back-up plan.

Trump seems to be having trouble finding backup music for his rallies lately :/

Poor guy should ask Green Day. Theyd probably let him use American Idiot.

What does Roger Federer call his backup racket?

The Federer Reserve

What's a good backup name to have for a baby?

Justin Case.

How many cops does it take to change a light bulb?

One. Unless it's a black bulb then he calls for backup.

Lately my self esteem has been so low...

Even in the shower I sing backup vocals.

My skydiving parachute and backup didnt open but somehow I lived

long enough to post this

What's the best thing about having twins?

If one dies, there's a backup.

A cop just handcuffed a dude for a misdemeanor, waiting for back-up, when the offendant asks him...

O: Did you always dream of becoming a policeman?

C: Actually no , he replies. I've always wanted to be famous on the internet.

No way! , the guy says. Same here, what a coincidence. So what stopped you?

C: I'm not sure, I guess I just never figured out how to get into the scene and make a name for myself you know. Seems like nowadays you'd really have to do something crazy and stupid to get your face out there and stand out amongst all the contenders...

O: You think that's it? Crazy? I can do crazy, just watch me.

To which the cop says: Not if I'm gonna _beat_ you to it!


*Edited for typo

Any legal experts here?

So there is an expensive international Amphibian Show. You have been preparing for this show all year, and you have one main prize frog and another frog you just have as a backup insuring against the first one being hurt or something. The day comes, but now this first frog gets injured so you are trying to decide in letting the first frog compete anyway, or to use the backup frog. You make the final decision of using the second frog, no backsies.

Are you then committing international insurance frog?

My parachute failed, so when I deployed my backup parachute...

I floated back up.

What do you do if you lose all the information on your computer?

Ask the NSA for a backup.

Volunteer fire department

So a farmer purchased a huge plot of land for his farm. Within less then a week an enormous fire breaks out and rages through the field. The fire department arrives almost immedeately and tries everything but the fire is too hot and too strong, keeping them from getting near the largest parts of the fire.
As backup, they call in the volunteer fire department and within a few minutes they arrive on their rickety, rusted fire truck that looks decades old. To the fire department's surprise, the volunteer fire department drives straight through the perimeter of the fire and directly INTO the blazing center. Immediately they jump out of the truck and begin spraying water in all directions which separates the large fire into to smaller ones, which are easily put out.
The farmer is overjoyed at having his land and crops saved, and writes the volunteer fire department a check for 10 thousand dollars for their bravery. When he hands them the check and commends their heroism, they reply "Great, This should be more than enough to fix the breaks on our truck!"

Imagine if I was asked to be a backup for Ringo Starr by the Beatles

You may say I'm a drummer but I'm not the only one...

What do you say when a scout decides to prepare a backup meal after all?

He made a recon-side-ration

Do farmers have backup plans?

In case their hay bails

Seriously, though.....🤔

How appropriate is the word 'arsenal', when referring to your backup stash of toilet paper?

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes