The Best 46 Backs Jokes

Following is our collection of Backs jokes which are very funny. There are some backs backside jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these backs frosty puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

A Drunk is on his way home from a bar...

He stumbles and backs himself against an advertising pillar. He slowly continues his walk with his hands still on the advertising pillar for aid, going around once, twice, three times...

With a scream of agony he suddenly slumps to the ground and cries out loud:

"Dear God! I'm walled in!"

The french invented a new bulletproof vest

That is just as efficient as a regular one but much cheaper: it only covers the soldiers' backs

A good one for parties

So Steve, Greg, and I (put friends names in of course) were walking down a dirt road when we saw a sheep with its head stuck in the fence. We are all thinking the same thing so I go and have my way with it and they turn their backs. After I am done Steve goes and has his way with it, while Greg and I turn our backs. Then Greg goes over the fence and we are waiting and waiting and waiting... Finally we turn around and there is Greg, with his head stuck in the fence.

A guy is making out with a girl and things are going well...

When he thinks, "hey things are going my way quickly, so screw second base, I'm going for third."

He tries, but the girl backs off, and she says "wow, that's a little presumptuous don't you think?"

The man replies "Presumptuous? That's a pretty big word for an 8-year-old..."

Seriously, why put the suicide hotline on the backs of buses?

Put it on the fronts.


I like my coffee like my women...

Piping hot and all over my lap in the McDonald's drive thru

(backs away very slowly, opens door without turning around, lurks out...)

What do blondes and turtles have in common?

When they're on their backs, they're screwed.

Smart dog

A man walks into a bar, after buying a beer he looks around the bar and sees three men and a dog playing cards. Amazed, the man wanders over and starts watching the game. Aftere watching the game for ten minutes, the man leans over to one of the other player's and whispers " Wow, that's a really smart dog!".
The man whispers backs "He isn't that smart, every time he gets a good hand, he wags his tail!"

why does a boxer have miscarriages....

...because she punch backs whenever the baby kicks

Study Finds Birth Control Pills Linked to Fewer Severe Knee Injuries in Teen Girls...

This is easily explained by the fact that they spend less time on their knees, and more time on their backs.

Paddy And Murphy Are In The Pub

Paddy and Murphy are havin' a pint in the pub, when some scuba divers come on the TV. Paddy says, "Murphy, why is it them deep sea divers always sit on the side of the boat with them air tanks on their backs, and fall backwards out of the boat?" Murphy thinks for a minute then says, "That's easy. It's 'cos if they fell forwards, they'd still be in the friggin boat!"

Top Backs Puns and Funny Jokes

You can explore backs rabid reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean backs looking back dad jokes. There are also backs puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Bacon tree

Two soldiers are sat on top of a hill looking for targets. One says to the other

"Hey bob, is that...is that a bacon tree?"

"I don't know Jim, go have a look while I stay here and cover our backs"

Jim goes for a closer look and Bob stays on the hill eating his lunch. After a while Jim returns with about ten arrows in his chest.

"My god what happened? Was it a bacon tree?"

"No Bob, turned out to be a ham bush"

A butcher that backs into a meat grinder

Gets a little behind in orders

So a man backs into a car...

So older man backs into a car while trying to leave a parking lot. After hitting the car, the old man looks in the mirror to see a midget hop out, obviously very angry. The midget goes up to the door and yells, "You just back into me, and I'm not happy". The elderly man takes off his glasses and responds, "Well then which one are ya".

Backstage at Project Runway, Tim walked past me holding some coffee.

I said, "Hey, Gunn, where you going with that joe in your hand?"

Someone called me a massagenist recently.

I was offended; rubbing backs is a woman's job.

Why do squirrels swim on their backs?

To keep their nuts dry.

^^Joke ^^Sponsored ^^by ^^'The ^^Nut ^^Job ^^2: ^^Nutty ^^By ^^Nature'

A tiger can jump higher than a three story building.

Tigers have fast twitch muscles in their backs and legs, and buildings cannot jump.

What's the backside of the moon called?

The front.


Unfortunately a large population of the East Coast of the US are attaching sleds to their backs.

Now it's all going down hill rather quickly.

Why did Judas carve the turkey?

[Because he likes to stab things in the back](#s)

Why do squirrels swim on their backs?

To keep their nuts dry

Classy girls are like turtles

They rarely go on their backs, but when they do, they're there for a very long time.

Was watching a re-run of Rules of Engagement and heard this.

Me and my son we're at the zoo...

And he asked me " those turtles are doing piggy backs" I knew it was time to have The Talk. So I said " Son those are tortoises"

Waiter, the steak is smelling very strongly of liquor!

The waiter backs up 3 steps and asks, How's that now?

The other day I bought a Harry Potter themed device that puts the feathers on the backs of my arrows, but it's made out of poo...

It's muh dungus fletcher.

A Spanish photon walks into a bar

The bar tender asks "what'll it be?" And the photon replies "una cerveza por favor." The bartender gives him a beer and come backs a few minutes later to find it finished. He asks: "want another?" To which the photon replies "Ay, no mas!"

Why is this the backstreet boys favorite time of year?

IT'S GONNA BE MAY!

What do you call two chiropractors who've got each other's backs?

Vertebros

I find it strange how everyone suddenly cares about straws killing dolphins...

They've been breaking camels' backs for years.

Two jars of peanut butter are fighting.One of them backs off...

The other one says;YOU BUTTER BACK OFF!

Make sure you all have extra pin backs for your mini American flag pins. I lost mine...

['N DA PIN DIDN'T STAY](#s)

Where do Egyptians go when their backs hurt?

The Cairo-practor

A man walks in a tattoo shop

And tells a tattoo artist:
Hey, i'm a bus driver, so i want a big and beautiful bus on my back.
Artist says No problem and gets to work. 10 minutes later he backs off and tells him Here you go, its done. What, already? asks the surprised man. Well, what did you expect? There is only 3 letters!

If 2 vegans have beef...

It's the one who backs out still a chicken?

A man is teaching his son to drive. NSFW

They both get in the car and the son starts to back it out of the garage. Before the dad has time to stop him, his son backs directly into his moms parked car.

Mom, inside, hears the crash and comes running out. "What happened?!"

The dad points at his son and says "it was all his fault"

The mom reply's with, "Well... how could you have printed the accident?"

Dad looks directly at his so and says. "I really should have just pulled out."

A young guy gets paired with an elderly man for a round of golf.

The old man lines up to putt on the fourth green, when they notice a funeral procession passing by the course.

The old man backs away from the putt, removes his cap, bows his head for a quick prayer, crosses himself, and returns to the putt.

After the hole, the young guy says, I'm impressed with your show of respect for the deceased .

Old guy says, Well, we were married 42 years... least I could do.

What football position does Donald Trump want illegal immigrants to play?

He'd like them to be Running Backs.

What does an abortion doctor bring to a barbecue?

Baby backs.

I heard Oscar the Grouch was getting kicked off of Sesame Street.

Apparently he was trash talking the other cast members behind their backs.

Oops I missed a week

Has anyone seen my last post on here about me and my brother's spime surgery?

It was about 2 weak backs

Because hippos are surprisingly dangerous, zoologists use the Pythagorean theorem to calculate the length of their backs.

This is called finding the hippotenuse.

A woman walks into a butcher shop...

"Excuse me," she says. "But I bought these sausages here yesterday and, well, the middle is fine, but both ends are made of sawdust."

The butcher shrugs. "Sometimes it's hard to make ends meat."

\----------------------

The very next day, the butcher is feeling overwhelmed. He accidentally backs into his meat grinder.

He got a little behind in his work.

My wife and I crack each other's backs every morning

It's a joint effort

Why can't the T-Rex scratch their backs?

Because they're all dead.

What do the Backstreet Boys and Algebra teachers have in common?

They both want you to tell them Y.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the backs back jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working backs nozzle piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes