Backpack Jokes
56 backpack jokes and hilarious backpack puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about backpack that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article is full of backpack jokes that will make you laugh out loud on your next hike. Whether you're looking for a new backpack joke to tell your friends or just want to laugh at some of the best ones, this is the article for you.
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Funniest Backpack Short Jokes
Short backpack jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The backpack humour may include short back pack jokes also.
- What did the little Iraqi girl tell her father after he bought her a new backpack? Thanks for the Baghdad.
- I was invited to a party and was told "dress to kill" Apparently a turban, beard, and a backpack wasn't what they had in mind
- 2 guys are hiding a bomb under a car. Guy 1 - What if the bomb goes off while we're still under the car.
Guy 2 - Don't worry, I've got a second one in my backpack. - A guy is lying on a field. There's a backpack lying on his back, and a lot of flies are flying around. What's in the backpack? A parachute.
- I run a backpack store in the middle east. Sales are great but I've never had any returning customers.
- My cat peed on my brand new expensive backpack so I had to throw it away. I'll miss you, Fluffy.
- I thought it was romantic to secretly swap my girlfriend's backpack for a bag of roses. Her skydiving instructor didn't.
- What do you call a male cow wearing a pink shirt, orange shorts, and a purple backpack? Adorable
(A-dora-bull) - I bought a backpack that was field tested... ...They didn't say anything about how well it performed on the test, but I was glad that they showed some initiative.
- On average, how many books can you put in an empty backpack? One. After that it's no longer empty
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Backpack One Liners
Which backpack one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with backpack? I can suggest the ones about handbag and sleeping bag.
- "Mommy, why is my backpack so heavy?" Allahu Akbar, honey.
- My backpack is so worn out that now I use it for sitting. It's now a Been Bag.
- I asked my rapper friend if I could borrow a backpack He said he had tupacs
- What the worst thing a muslim father can do? Give his son the wrong backpack.
- Whats do you call it when you spoon with a midget? Backpacking.
- What does a chicken call its backpack? A BokBok...
- I saw a person with a backpack and a messenger bag. Talk about some serious baggage.
- Why did Tupac have 2 backpacks? He had a lot Tupac
- My friend has two backpacks. He's Bi-Satchel
- My friend spilled salad dressing inside her backpack... I said she might as well toss it
- Why did Putin forget his backpack at home when leaving for school? He was Russian.
- What gets all sweaty as it rides on top of you? Your backpack.
Witty Backpack Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun with Friends
What funny jokes about backpack you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean suitcase jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make backpack pranks.
There's a plane crashing down...
On the plane are The President of the United States, The British Prime Minister, the smartest man in the world, a priest and a boy scout. The pilot announces over the intercom: "People, we regret to inform you that we are going to c**.... Fortunately, there are 6 parachutes available."
Before anyone can respond, the pilot and copilot dash out of the cabin, each grabs a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The 5 passengers look at each other, realize there's only 4 parachutes left, then make a mad dash for them. A giant fight ensues as everyone struggles to grab a parachute.
The President snags one and declares, "I *must* live! I'm the President of the United States!" before jumping out of the plane.
The Prime Minister grabs a c**... and yells, "*I* must live! I'm the Prime Minister!"
The Smartest Man in the World and the boy scout get into a tussle, ending with the Smartest Man in the World shoving the boy scout to the floor. Hugging the parachute to his chest he yells, "I'm the Smartest Man in the World! It is imperative that I survive!" and leaps out the door.
The priest helps the boy scout to his feet. "You go ahead, son," he says, "Take the last parachute. I've made my peace."
"We can each have one, father," The boy scout says, shaking his head, "The Smartest Man in the World took my backpack."
This used to be my Dad's favorite joke. "The End of the World"
The world is ending by nuclear warfare and there are three men riding on a plane to a fallout shelter where they would be safe and ride out the devastation. The three men are: the president, the pope, and a young hippie.
Suddenly, as they are nearing their destination, the plane malfunctions and is going down quickly. The three passengers look at each other, then realize: there are only two parachutes.
The President hastily grabs a bag and before jumping out of the hatch says," I am God's gift to you all! I rule the United States! I am the leader this world will need! I am the SMARTEST man on this planet!"
Realizing they don't have much time the pope quickly says to the hippie, "My son, you have many more years to live than I, it would only be right for you to seize this opportunity and fulfill-"
The hippie begins laughing, startling the pope into silence, and says, "Don't worry Father, the smartest man on the planet just jumped out of the plane with my backpack on!"
Three men and a parachute
So, a norwegian, a danish and a swedish person are on a private flight. Suddenly, the pilot turns on the speaker and says:
"The plane is malfunctioning and is going to c**.... There's three parachutes, and I'm going to take one. You're going to have to figure out who doesn't get one".
He then proceeds to jump out of the plane.
The three men panic, but the norwegian tells the others to calm down and then says to the swedish person: "Here. You take one, we'll figure out who gets the last one." And the swedish jumps.
The norwegian then turns to the danish person and says: "Let's grab the chutes and get out of this thing."
The danish says, very confused:" But you just gave the second to last parachute to that swedish guy? There's only one left now."
To which the norwegian replies: "Relax man, I gave him my backpack."
Three guys are aboard a jet as it's about to c**... and there are only two parachutes...
The first guy has the parachutes and gives both of them to the others, the second guy says thank you and jumps. The third guy before jumping asks "Wow, why would you do such a thing, why not save your own life?". The first guy then looks at him and says, "What are you crazy, I gave the second guy an empty backpack".
A man brings his dead dog along for an international flight
The check-in attendant tells him:
"Sir, I'm sorry, but you're going to have to leave either your dog or your backpack."
"What? Why can't I bring both?"
"Rules say only one carrion per customer."
What did the sociopathic cannibal parachutist say?
As soon as the people carrying soup cans in the backpacks arrive we can eat.
Man in a pasture face down
A man lays face down in the pasture with a backpack on his back and flies buzzing around him.
Question: Whats in his backpack?
Answer: Parachute
Someone at Sony Studios was arrested for having a bomb in his backpack.
He was released after it was determined that it was the script for ghostbusters
A plane was going down
and there were 4 people aboard: The president, the smartest man in the world, an old man, and a little girl. However, there were only 3 parachutes. The president said, "I'm too important to die," and took a parachute and jumped. The smartest man in the world said, "other people will need my smarts," and he also jumped off. The old man said,"you can go, my life is almost over anyway." The girl said," no, we can both go. The smartest man in the world took my Dora backpack."
I like my men like I like my backpacks
Thick and will hold my stuff.
(Found this on an Amazon review)
So I'm a Camp Counselor taking a short nap at work....
And I'm laying my head on my backpack. One of campers says "What're you doing?"
I reply. "Taking a nap on my pillow."
She says, "That's not a pillow."
I respond, "Anythings a pillow, if you put your mind to it."
Plane Joke
There was a plane about to go down. The people who were on there were: Trump, The Pope, The Pilot, and 3rd grader. There are three parachutes. The Pope grabs a parachute and says; "I am more important" Then bails. Trump grabs a parachute and says "I am the worlds smartest man. I can't die" Then bails. The Pilot looks at the kid and said here have my Parachute, the kid responded No need to, the "worlds smartest man" grabbed my backpack.
Teacher: We found drugs in your son's backpack
Parent: Oh wow, really?
Teacher: Yes, it's very concerning
Parent: Very.. *rubbing chin*.. he should have sold them all by now
As a skydiving instructor, I realized midair that I had accidentally given my client the wrong backpack
Me and my wife landed on the ground safely
A Calculus student is stuck in traffic...
After waiting 20 minutes with little movement, he decides to catch up on his homework. 5 Minutes in, he feels thirsty and realizes he has an unopened bottle of Coke in his backpack. He takes it out and opens it. However, as soon as he takes his first sip, a nearby police car start flashing it's lights and orders him to pull over to the side. When the cop reaches his car, the student asks:
"What am I being stopped for?"
The cop answers:
"Drinking and deriving."
Quick Thinking
Teacher says, "Whoever can answer my next question, is free to leave class."
One little boy chucks his backpack out the window.
Teacher asks, "Who threw that bag?"
Little boy, "Me! I'll see you tomorrow!"
A woman was at the supermarket
A woman was at the supermarket with her kid and was about to check out. When she got to the cash register, all she had was a backpack. The clerk asked her why she wanted the backpack since her kid was still very young. She responded, "I'm going to stuff my kid in the backpack and carry him around." The people behind her in line gasped at how the lady said she was going to treat her kid. The clerk shrugged his shoulders and said, "Ok lady, whatever totes your goat."
I live in Canada, so you encounter a lot of bears here. Me and my friend were walking in the forest, when we saw one, up close. I thought I was a goner, when I remembered my gun in my backpack.
One shot to my friends kneecap, and I was able to run away safely
4 people are on a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes.
The first person the grab a parachute is Brad Pitt and as he reachs for the door he says, "My family and my fans need me surely you will understand.", off he goes.
The next person to grab one is Donald Trump:
"Im the most intellegent president this nation ever saw i will do great things to this country" and he jumps out.
Left in the plane is an old man and a young school boy.
"Go on take the last one", the old man said, "I lived a long and fulfilled life." Hearing that the school boy answered calmly, "Don't worry, we'll both be okay. Our most intelligent President yet just took my backpack."
So there were 4 people on a private jet
Oprah Winfrey, Donald trump, Barack obama, and this little girl.
In the middle of there flight, the engine shuts down and and there going to c**....
So Oprah Winfrey says the world needs me and grabs a parachute and jumps off.
Then Donald trump grabs a parachute and jumps off without saying anything.
Then there's only one parachute left.
Barack Obama says to the girl, little girl, you are the future to our country, you take the last parachute.
Then the little girl says actually there's two left.
Barack Obama says how ?
Then the little girl says because trump just took my school backpack.
A guy carrying a backpack gets stopped by the police on suspicion of terrorism..
The police officer asks him to let him check his backpack. The guy obliges. In his backpack, the officer finds some textbooks, a calculator, a compass and a ruler.
"Aha!", shouts the policeman, "as I suspected. You are under arrest!"
"But why?" the guy protests.
"You have been caught in procession of weapons of math instruction!"
A guy carrying a backpack gets stopped by the Police on suspicion of terrorism
A guy carrying a backpack gets stopped by the Police on suspicion of terrorism.
The Police officer asks him to let him check his backpack. The guy obliges.
In his backpack, the officer finds some textbooks, a calculator, a compass and a ruler.
"Aha!", shouts the policeman, "as I suspected. You are under arrest!"
"But why?" the guy protests.
"You have been caught in possession of weapons of maths instruction!"
I saw my dwarf neighbour at the bus stop this morning.
He seemed to be waiting for the bus, so I said, 'Jump in, I'll give you ride.'
He said 'Go to h**...', so I thought he was very ungrateful.
But then I just zipped up my backpack and kept walking.
Racing a bear
Two campers are walking through the woods when a huge brown bear suddenly appears in the clearing about 50 feet in front of them. The bear sees the campers and begins to head toward them. The first guy drops his backpack, digs out a pair of sneakers, and frantically begins to put them on. The second guy says, 'What are you doing? Sneakers won't help you outrun that bear.' 'I don't need to outrun the bear,' the first guy says. 'I just need to outrun you.'
What do a p**... and candy have in common?
When you pull them out of your backpack suddenly everyone at school wants to be your friend.
Pope Francis, Donald Trump, Joe Biden, and a little boy are crossing the Atlantic on an airplane when the engines fail.
They find three parachutes.
Donald Trump grabs the first parachute and jumps out of the plane saying, The world needs a great person like me!
Joe Biden grabs a parachute and says, I need to help make choices for our world , so he jumps off the plane.
At this point, the Pope and the little boy are on the plane.
The Pope says to the boy, take the last parachute, I am too old and I'm going to die soon one day.
Actually there are two left. Donald Trump took my backpack.
let's go backpacking
I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to go backpacking this weekend.
She said sure, where do you want to go?
I replied "why do we start by hiking up your dress"
