Background Jokes
62 background jokes and hilarious background puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about background that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Liven up your next Zoom call by swapping out your default virtual background for something a bit more fun! Get creative with jokes, puns, and other humorous ideas to stand out from the crowd. Learn the tricks of creating a vivid background from your PNG images, including a background check recorder.
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Funniest Background Short Jokes
Short background jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The background humour may include short backs jokes also.
- I was applying for citizenship in Australia, and the interviewer asked, "Do you have a criminal background". I replied, "No, is that still a requirement".
- A guy walks into a bar with a gun and yelled "Who slept with my wife?" and in the background someone replied "You ain't got enough bullets."
- A boss announces to his staff: I've lost a wallet with 500 dollars, if you find it, I'm offering a 100 dollars finder's fee! A voice in the background says: I'm offering 200!
- "Suspect is an elder female with an extensive criminal background..." "We don't have any leads, but we'll search every crook and nanny until we find her."
- I needed to have some white noise on in the background to help me fall asleep Fox News seemed to do the trick.
- I don't trust atoms. If you run them through a background check, you'll see they always carry charges.
- At a recent job interview I was asked about my background. I got my phone out and showed him that it was a picture of a dog eating spaghetti.
- I just found out my favorite arcade game used Christian music from the 1800s Finland in the background. Yeah. Mortal Kombat used Finnish Hymns
- Potential Employer: We're going to need to do a background check, see if you have a police record.
- My background is English, Irish, and Scottish. Ask me again why I have so much inner conflict.
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Background One Liners
Which background one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with background? I can suggest the ones about picture and headline.
- McAfee not dead actually.. He is still running in the background.
- I put Jesus on my background pic and now my phone never dies Yup, he's my screen-savior
- As an East Asian guy, I constantly get asked what's my background It's Windows standard.
- McAfee isn't dead... He's still running in the background.
- An interviewer asked me, "What's your background?" I said, "Right now? A window."
- What do you call a movie extra from Prague? A background Czech.
- Applied for a job designing paralax layers... ...Failed the background test.
- Why the png can't get a decent job? Because he fails the background check.
- Why did the image fail the background check? He was a .png
- Just been admiring the French battle flag.. It's a white cross on a white background.
- DJ Daemon maintains the beats in the background.
- What's the new French flag look like? A white cross emblazoned on a white background!
- A beautiful girl looks good in the background of her smart friend.
- Have you seen the new French Flag? It's a white cross on top of a white background.
- My DJ name is Daemon, because I maintain the beats in the background.
Background Check Jokes
Here is a list of funny background check jokes and even better background check puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I was driving past a Taco Bell last week and it said now hiring... I drove past it today and it said "now hiring: background check required"
- Me driving by a Taco Bell.
Sign: Now Hiring Managers.
Two weeks later:
Sign: Now Hiring Managers. Background Checks Required. - My uncle is mad that he lost his job to an i**... immigrant It took him forever to find a job that neither requires a third grade education nor a background check.
Loads of Fun with Charming Humor Background Jokes
What funny jokes about background you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean image jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make background pranks.
Tip: when making a s**... tape, play Disney music in the background.
That way, if it ever gets leaked online, Disney attorneys will have them all taken down.
What did one Muslim say to another in a supermarket?
Nothing very interesting, they are both completely ordinary members of society who should not be judged based on their ethnic background and skin colour.
And then the building exploded.
So the Bears were looking for a new quarterback.
The coach had put together the perfect team for the Chicago Bears. The only thing that was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges and even the Canadian and European Leagues, but he couldn't find a ringer who could ensure a Super Bowl win.
Then one night while watching CNN he saw a war-zone scene in Afghanistan . In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Afghan Muslim soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand-grenade straight into a 15th story window 100 yards away.
KABOOM!
He threw another hand-grenade 75 yards away, right into a chimney.
KA-BLOOEY!
Then he threw another at a passing car going 90 mph.
BULLS-EYE!
"I've got to get this guy!" Coach said to himself. "He has the perfect arm!"
So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of football. And the Bears go on to win the Super Bowl.
The young Afghan is hailed as the great hero of football, and when the coach asks him what he wants, all the young man wants is to call his mother.
"Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won the Super Bowl!"
"I don't want to talk to you", the old Muslim woman says."You are not my son!"
"I don't think you understand, Mother," the young man pleads. "I've won the greatest sporting event in the world. I'm here among thousands of my adoring fans."
"No! Let me tell you!" his mother retorts. "At this very moment, there are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn't get r**...!" The old lady pauses, and then tearfully says, "I will never forgive you for making us move to Chicago !!!!
my old man had a joke from his days in the Air Force
Background: my dad was a biomed tech and did work for all branches throughout many areas.
One day, he's at a Navy submarine repair station. as him and his buddy are walking in, 2 Navy guys see em and say 'Air Force? what are you guys doing here? where are they going to put the landing s**...?'
the other Navy guys says, 'fuck that, where are they going to put the golf course?'
Magic Elixir of Life
A man was walking through Sarasota selling door to door what he claimed to be the "Magic Elixir of Life."
Of course there were complaints and the police arrested him. They ran a background check of him and found the man had quite a long record of such dealings. He was first arrested for that type of crime in England . . . . in 1660.
joke my uncle told me as a kid
so 3 men go into a brothel what are their ethnic backgrounds the guy coming out........ finnish. the guy going in.......... russian. the guy currently in there........ himalayen
s**... and the gang on Family Fortunes
The host goes to Daphne and asks her to name an endangered African animal, she ponders for a second and then a voice in the background goes "Rhino!"
The host says "I know you do s**..., but it's not your go..."
A lawyer sneered at a witness on the stand...
"You seem to have more than the average share of intelligence for a man of your background."
The witness replied, "If I wasn't under oath, I'd return the compliment."
Guy walks into a bar with a unholsteret gun
Entering he waves it in the air shouting
"This is a 8 round loaded 1911, now tell me who slept with my wife!"
Shortly after you hear a yelling from the background.
"YOU NEED MORE AMMO!"
Three engineers are discussing God's engineering background.
The first one says, "God was clearly an electrical engineer. The human nervous system is a feat of electrical engineering genius!"
The second one says, "Absolutely not! He was a mechanical engineer. The way the muscles and bones interact are mechanically brilliant!"
The third one says, "Nope, you're both idiots. God was a civil engineer. Who else would run a sewage line right through a playground?"
A blonde girl decides to do a puzzle.....
...so she grabs the puzzle and pours out all the pieces and tries to put it together. After a while she gets frustrated and calls her boyfriend. He asks her what is wrong and she tells him about the trouble she is having with the puzzle. He tells her to look at the picture on the front and tell him what it looks like. The blonde says, Okay, well, the background is blue and there is a tiger on it.
After a long pause her boyfriend sighs and says, Honey, put the cornflakes back in the box.
Both my parents had s**... changes
Now I have a transparent background.
The government reveals their new logo today....
The government reveals their new logo today, on a black background sit a magnificent image of a c**....
I guess it makes sense, seeings as how a c**... allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of d**..., and gives you a sense of security while being s**....
A methodology of obtaining information or input by enlisting the services of a large number of people of Germanic background:
Krautsourcing
Studies have shown that if presented with song lyrics, the human mind will produce the melody and have it in the background. According to the researchers,
your head is humming and it won't go, in case you don't know.
I want the trumpets from Uptown Funk to play in the background wherever I go.
Don't believe me? Just watch.
my son just told me he is a transgender
I literally fainted to the background and realized:
#I'M A TRANSPARENT
Seller: 500$ for this parrot
Guy: 500$ HERE.
Voice in background: 1000$ HE-RE.
Seller: 1000$ going 1st..
Guy: 1100$ HERE.
Voice in background: 5000$ HE-RE.
Seller: 5000$ going twice....
Guy: 5100$ HERE.
Voice in background: 25.000 HE-RE.
Guy: 25.100 HERE.
Seller: Sold!!
Guy: I sure hope this parrot can talk. I would hate to have paid this much for it, only to find out he can't talk!!!
Auctioneer: Dont worry he can talk. Who do you think kept bidding against you?
When I told my parents my wife had come down with the flu, my Dad said,
"Well have you tried euthanasia?"
In the background I could hear my Mom yell, "For the last time Henry, it's pronounced 'Echinacea'! Echinacea'!!!!
During a business meeting yesterday, someone asked me about my background. So I told him about my education, career, family, hopes and dreams.
Turns out he was asking about what was behind me on our Zoom call.
A man sits next to me on the train and pulls out his phone showing me a photo of his girlfriend on his background screen, and said she's beautiful isn't she?
I go if you think she's beautiful, you should see my wife…
He goes why, is she a stunner?
I replied no, she's an optician
The Superman 2 movie and a documentary about the Moon Landing had accidently been scheduled at the same time for the Lunar Background part of the movie lot. They argued about who should get to use it first, but then they remembered:
Neil before Zod.
The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion or ethnic background,
is that we all believe we are above-average drivers.
Little known fact: as a joke, Peter Jackson made some of the Ents drink tea and chat in the background during the big fight scene at Isengard in the Two Towers
In other words, the real joke is in the calm Ents.
Messi, Ronaldo and Zlatan died in a car c**... and goes to heaven.
The three walks up to God sitting on his throne. God says:
"Messi, what is the best thing about football?"
Messi bows and answers:
"The best thing about football is that I have been able to spread joy to people, earn money for my living and seeing the world." God felt it was a good answerr>when he said: "Good Messi, come and sit at my left side."
God then looked at Ronaldo and said: "And you Ronaldo, what is the best thing about football?
Ronaldo responds a little timidly:
"Lord, I come from poor backgrounds and have managed to show my fellow human beings that there is a way out of it all and that you do not have to be doomed to a life of misery. Meanwhile, I was able to spread joy to the people. "
God replied: "Good answer Ronaldo, come and sit on my right side.".
God then looked at Zlatan and said: "What do you think then Zlatan?"
Zlatan looks up, clears his t**..., spits on the ground and says:
"You're sitting in my chair."
Two Southern belles are walking down a country road.
They are out enjoying a sunset walk and admiring the scenery, when they come across a man taking photographs. The man, being awestruck at the beauty of the two ladies, asks if he can take their picture with the setting sun in the background.
The ladies discuss the idea and eventually agree.
The photographer begins setting up his tripod and adjusting his camera.
One of the ladies asks, "What is he doing?"
The other replies, in a thick Southern drawl, "He's going to focus."
Then the first says, "Both of us?"
