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Back To The Future Jokes

62 back to the future jokes and hilarious back to the future puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about back to the future that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Back To The Future Short Jokes

Short back to the future jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The back to the future humour may include short time travel jokes also.

  1. I tried asking a Ouija Board for the name of my future wife. The planchette kept moving from H to A and back. What kind of name is Hahaha?
  2. JUST ANNOUNCED: Disney in talks of a Star Wars - Back to the Future crossover where Marty flies so far back in time (long, long ago) that he fuses with his car He becomes the ManDeLorean
  3. Back in the days when the guillotine was first used people wondered, is this what we may beheaded for in the future?
  4. Step 1: Travel back in time Step 2: Impress people with your ability to predict the future
    Step 3: ???
    Step 4: Prophet
  5. If I had the time machine from back to the future I wouldn't drive it much.... I'd only drive it from time to time.
  6. Claims that cloud storage is the future of smartphone memory issues Sounds good, but I have no data to back it up.
  7. Whenever I reach 88 mph in my car, I always make a Back to the Future time traveling sound effect inside my head... ...and that's usually followed by a police siren sound effect outside my car.
  8. Two chemists are hanging out at a bar after work... One gets up to go home and says "future copper". Puzzled, the other gazes back for a moment before the first clarifies, "Cu later"
  9. When my friend told me he's finally going to watch Back to the Future , I said it's about time.
  10. If a murderous killing machine came back from the future.. And calculated all matrices. Would he be the Determinator?

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Back To The Future One Liners

Which back to the future one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with back to the future? I can suggest the ones about back to school and back in my day.

  1. i hope people on September 2nd 1885 were flipping out on Back to the Future Part III day
  2. My girlfriend finally watched Back To The Future. It's about time.
  3. I just heard Back to the Future was getting a re-release at the cinema. It's about time.
  4. There's a new Back to the Future sequel coming out It's about time.
  5. There's finally a new Back to the Future movie... It's about time.
  6. What's the appropriate file size for a copy of back to the future? 1.21GB
  7. What would the all female "Back To The Future" be called? Back to the Kitchen
  8. Chuck Norris can travel back in time into the future.
  9. What do you call a surgeon with Parkinson's Back to the Future Part IV
  10. In honour of Back To The Future, I just went back in time one hour. That's the joke.
  11. Back then: You are the bomb, yo Future: You are the clock, yo
  12. How do you have an abortion in the future? Go back in time and use a c**....

Share Hilarious Back To The Future Jokes and Enjoy Unforgettable Laughter

What funny jokes about back to the future you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean back to basic jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make back to the future pranks.

A young boy went up to his father and asked him, "Dad, what is the difference between 'potentially' and 'realistically'?"
The father thought for a moment, then answered, "Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and then, ask your brother if he’d sleep with Brad Pitt for a million
dollars. Come back and tell me what you learn from that."
So the boy went to his mother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?"
The mother replied, "Of course, I would! We could really use that money to fix up the house and send you kids to a great university!"
The boy then went to his sister and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?"
The girl replied, "Oh, good heavens! I LOVE Brad Pitt and I would sleep with him in a heartbeat. Are you nuts?"
The boy then went to his brother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?"
"Of course," the brother replied. "Do you know how much a million bucks would buy?"
The boy pondered the answers for a few days and then went back to his dad.
His father asked him, "Did you find out the difference between 'potentially' and 'realistically'?"
The boy replied, "Yes, 'Potentially', you and I are sitting on three million dollars, but 'realistically', we’re living with two h***s and a future congressman."

One day, h**... decided to test out the skills of several prisoners in Treblinka.
As the first test, he had his soldiers bring him out the three prisoners, then line them up before him.
"How high can you jump?" he asks the first one.
"About 1 meter," answers the prisoner.
h**... nodded before turning to his soldier.
"Take this one back to work, but give him 1 kilogram of rye bread."
After the soldier did as he was told, h**... stood before the second prisoner.
"How high can you jump?" he asks again.
After a moment of thinking, the prisoner says.
"Two meters, if I really try."
h**... nodded before turning to his soldier again.
"Take this one back to work too, but give him two kilograms of rye bread."
Observing this, the third prisoner did the maths and hatched a plan.
Finally, h**... stood face to face with him.
"How high can you jump?" he asked him at last prisoner.
"My most illustrious Führer, I can jump 5 meters!" said the prisoner as a smug grin bloomed on his face.
h**... frowned before turning to his soldier.
"Tell me, Walter: how tall are the walls around the camp?"
"Three meters, my Führer!" cried the soldier.
h**... nodded again before turning to the last prisoner.
"In that case, shoot this one: he may become a problem in the future."

Meaning of... 'potentially' and 'realistically'

A young boy went up to his father and asked him, "Dad, what is the
difference between 'potentially' and 'realistically'?"
The father thought for a moment, then answered, "Go ask your mother
if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then ask
your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars,
and then, ask your brother if he'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million
dollars. Come back and tell me what you learn from that."
So the boy went to his mother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad
Pitt for a million dollars?"
The mother replied, "Of course, I would! We could really use that
money to fix up the house and send you kids to a great university!"
The boy then went to his sister and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad
Pitt for a million dollars?"
The girl replied, "Oh, good heavens! I LOVE Brad Pitt and I would
sleep with him in a heartbeat. Are you nuts?"
The boy then went to his brother and asked, "Would you sleep with
Brad Pitt for a million dollars?"
"Of course," the brother replied. "Do you know how much a million
bucks would buy?"
The boy pondered the answers for a few days and then went back to his dad.
His father asked him, "Did you find out the difference between
'potentially' and 'realistically'?"
The boy replied, "Yes, 'Potentially', you and I are sitting on three
million dollars, but 'realistically', we're living with two h**...
and a future congressman."

Divorce in heaven?

A young couple, on their way to the church to get married, die in a car c**...... At the pearly gates they are greeted by Archangel Michael and they immediately ask:
– Tell us, Michael, is it possible to get married in heaven?
Archangel, responds, puzzled:
– Hang on a minute, nobody asked this before, let me go and find out.
After he leaves the young couple starts to ponder what will happen if they don't get along and eventually want to get divorced? They patiently wait for Archangel's return and finally, after three months, he arrives with a smile on his face:
– Great news you two! I found out that yes, you can get married in heaven!
So the young couple says:
– Listen, Michael, we were wondering, what if we stop loving each other and want to get a divorce in the future, is that possible? Can you find out?
Archangel turns around reluctantly and heads back towards the gates, grumbling to himself:
– Three months, three months it took me to find a priest in heaven... now they want me to go and find a lawyer?!

What's the difference between a n**... woman and Back to the Future?

I've seen Back to the Future....

Back during the Apollo moon-missions, NASA astronauts left an American flag on the surface of the moon.

Over the years, unfortunately, the sun's harsh cosmic rays have bleached the flag completely white. So, any future visitors to the moon will no longer be able to find any proof that the *US* went to the moon, since the only flag left is the French flag.

A dystopian future

Mr. and Mrs. Thyme are two people living in a dystopian future where babies are assigned a random combination of letters and numbers for a name, such as DL-6 or UR-1. However, due to a large amount of protesters, the law has been changed so that parents can choose their own name if they run to the city hall to change the name in 30 minutes after the baby is born.
Mrs. Thyme was pregnant, and her water had broken that morning. However Mr. Thyme had to work for the day, and he had an important meeting that he couldn't miss. He arrived at the hospital 15 minutes after the birth, and Mrs. Thyme said "Hello, dear! Isn't our baby precious?" Mr. Thyme nodded in approval. He suddenly remembered the law, and exclaimed "I have to go to the city hall!" and ran off.
20 minutes later, Mr. Thyme came back. "Did you name our son?" Mrs. Thyme asked. "Yes," Mr. Thyme responded, "Justin Thyme."

Three fetuses were talking about their futures...

"I'm gonna be a doctor when I grow up, and bring babies into the world" said the first one.
"I'm gonna be a preacher, and baptize babies!" said the next.
"I'm gonna be a m**...!" said the last.
"A m**...!" exclaimed the first two. "Why?"
"I'm gonna kill the guy who's poking me in the back every night!"

How to play "Future You"

FUTURE YOU
How to play "Future You"
(You'll have to be over 25 to play this game)
Go to a play park, or a fair ground or a school or anywhere you might find children.
Find a child who looks enough like you.
Go up to that child when they're alone and say
"I am you from the future, those people are not your parents, I'm sorry but your real parents were dead long ago...
Now listen carefully, you need to become me.
Become the super spy the world needs!
You have to get to Mexico, forget about everyone you know, they've all been placed here by the shadow man to stop you by any means.
Just get to Mexico, you will meet who you need to meet when you get there, trust me.
Don't look back just go, GO NOW!"
This game can also be played with more players, where whoever had the kid causing the longest news story, wins...

The reason why men are not allowed to give advice in love-columns of magazines

Anita:
"Hi! I'm a lady aged 26, married with one kid. Last week my husband was off duty and I had to drive alone to work. I left my husband with the maid and my baby at home. I drove for just about 2 miles from home and my car engine started to overheat so I turned back to get the other car. When I got home I found my husband in bed with our maid!!! I don't what to do now. Please help."

Reply by male columnist:

"Dear Anita,
Overheating of engine after such short distance can be caused by problems associated with the carburetor. You need to check the oil and coolant level in your engine before you start your journey. You must also make sure your car is serviced regularly to avoid problems in future. Hope this helps.".

PS: Clichéd, but still funny in my opinion!

watched the interview about back to future with the cast

Michel J. Fox was shaking he was so excited

Why did Nike release a vine of the "Back to the Future" Power Lace shoes??

Because the pictures were way to shaky......

Did you hear the director planned to film two sequels simultaneously for the Michael J Fox 1980's time travel comedy?

He planned to make back-to-back back to the 'Back to the Future' future features!

The reason men aren't allowed to run advice in "Love Columns" in magazines and newspapers..

Anonymous:
Hi! I'm a lady aged 26 married with one kid. Last week my husband was off duty and I had to drive alone to work. I left my husband with the maid and my baby at home. I drove for just about two miles from home and my car engine started to overheat so I had to turn back to get another car. When I got home I found my husband in bed with our maid. I don't know what to do now. Please help!
Reply:
Dear Anonymous,
Overheating of engine after such short distance can be caused by problems associated with the carburettor. You need to check your oil and water level in your engine before you start your journey. You must also make sure your car is serviced regularly to avoid problems in future.
Hope this helped you.

Concealed Carry

Got another concealed carry p**... yesterday.
In the afternoon, I went over to the local Bass Pro Shop to get a small 9mm handgun for home/personal protection.
When I was ready to pay for the p**... and ammo, the cashier said, "s**... down, facing me."
Making a mental note to complain to the NRA about the gun control wackos running amok, I did just as she had instructed.

When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided, I found out she was referring to how I should place my credit card in the card reader!
As an intelligent senior citizen, I do not get flustered often. But this time, it took me a while to get my pants back on.
I've been asked to shop elsewhere in the future. They need to make their instructions to seniors a little more clear.
I still don't think I looked that bad!

My friend told me he is FINALLY going to watch the Back to the Future series.

"It's about time," I told him.

"Hey, I finally watched that movie you've been wanting me to see..."

"Oh, so you finally saw Back to the Future?"
"Sure did!"
"It's about time!"

How frustrated was I when I found out Nike only made 89 Back To The Future Shoes?

About as frustrated as Michael J Fox trying to use an Etch A Sketch.

If you are a fan of Back to the Future and a fan of Bobbleheads....

Is it insensitive to have a bobble head of Marty McFly?

I started a short plot summary for Back To The Future years ago and I finally finished today!

It's about time.

When I drink I think about the past, when I smoke w**... I think about the future.

When I'm drunk and s**... it's like back to the future.

I was going to tell you a joke about time travel...

but you'd have to go back to the future to get it.

You stop and pick up a nice hitchhiking girl. Suddenly she loses consciousness and you take her to a hospital. This is stress.

In the hospital you are being told that she is pregnant and doctors start congratulating you with the future newborn. You explain that just an hour ago you have seen her for the first time in your life, but she starts telling that you are the father. This is a big stress already.
You require for a DNR analysis and they make it. Then the doctors tell you silently, that actually you can't be a father since you are genetically sterile. This is a stress, combined with a relief.
On your way back home you remember, that you have three kids. That's what the real stress is.

200Years in the future.

A team of the smartest people on earth go to a distant planet, believed to have life. When they land they're greeted by 3aliens. They speak perfect english.
"Leave outsiders. This is our home planet, only trusted individuals are allowed here!"
The space group is quite surprised by this. Most of them think about turning back and going to earth. When one man in the back of the group, Unseen by the aliens, Shows himself. Upon his sight the aliens appear to become much more peaceful with the humans.
"Oh you brought Dave with you! Why didn't you say so."

h**...' bodyguard was guarding his bedroom door.

A guy walks up to him and asks, "How do you like being h**...'s bodyguard?". The bodyguard replies, "It's okay, but I am starting to have second thoughts. The guy says, "Why is that?". The bodyguard responds, "Well all these time travelers from the future keep coming back to try to kill him".

In the distant future scientists invent a special time machine

It can send messages back to the past, as a dream to a single person.
Because of all the problems Covid-19 caused, they decided to try and warn the world before hand. So a dream message was sent back to the year 2017: "Covid is fatal will arrive in fall 2019. Covid is fatal will arrive in fall 2019." It would repeat over and over.
This dream was of course sent to the most powerful man in the world back then: President Trump... unfortunately, the sheer distance in time garbled the message: "Cov.. f.. f.. Cov.. f.. f.. "

The Saudi Ambassador to the UN has just finished giving a speech, and walks out into the lobby where he meets President Trump..

They shake hands and as they walk the Saudi ambassador says, "You know, I have just one question about what I have seen here in America."
President Trump says, "Well your excellency, anything I can do to help you?"
The Saudi whispers "My son watches your show *Star Trek* and in it there are Russians, and b**..., and Asians, but never any Arabs. He is very upset. He doesn't understand why there are never any Arabs in Star Trek."
President Trump smiles and leans toward the Saudi, and whispers back: "Well, Star Trek takes place in the future."

How to use Astrology to know about your relationship future:

If she starts to speak about your sign: run!
If she starts to speak about your sign and ascendent: run like h**..., and never come back!

jokes about back to the future