Back Surgery Jokes

33 back surgery jokes and hilarious back surgery puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about back surgery that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Back Surgery Short Jokes

Short back surgery jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The back surgery humour may include short back problems jokes also.

  1. I gave my wife ten thousand dollars to have plastic surgery; now I can't get the money back and I don't know who to look for.
  2. I came back from brain surgery The doctors said they took out the limbic system but I don't remember what that is
  3. A woman lent a blind man 100,000 dollars The blind man said:
    I'll pay my debt when I see you.
    The blind man returned 1 week later. He pays the 100,000 dollars back and says:
    The surgery went well!
  4. After 4 months without the gym I finally went back and a great weight was lifted off my shoulders After they removed the weight, the paramedics then took me to the hospital for extensive surgery.
  5. Yesterday I got dared to have surgery that prevented me from moving my neck... There's no turning back now
  6. Plastic Surgery I loaned a friend £5000 to get plastic surgery last week...
    I'll never get the money back, I dunno what he looks like now.
  7. After my surgery the doctor told me I could expect to wake up in pain tomorrow... ah, back to normal that quickly? I asked
  8. Oops I missed a week Has anyone seen my last post on here about me and my brother's spime surgery?
    It was about 2 weak backs
  9. I have a feeling that my mouth transplant surgery went horribly wrong. The voice in the back of my head keeps telling me that.
  10. My dad just had thought surgery and i asked him if he could still talk he said yes, and i'm about to email the doctor to see if i can get my bribe back.

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Back Surgery One Liners

Which back surgery one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with back surgery? I can suggest the ones about back problem and back pain.

  1. Welcome back to plastic surgery anonymous I see a lot of new faces today.
  2. After years of pain I finally had surgery on my neck... I haven't looked back since!
  3. Why did the 3d modeler need back surgery? He injured his spline!
  4. What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when he woke up after surgery? *I am back.*

Comical & Quirky Back Surgery Jokes for a Roaring Good Time

What funny jokes about back surgery you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean back hurt jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make back surgery pranks.

How I lost my Teeth

I was in my local pub last night enjoying a nice cold pint of beer, when this b**... ugly fat bird came up to me and slapped me in the back, and said how about giving me your number handsome
I looked at her and asked Do you have a pen sure! She said.
So I said, Well you better get back in it before the farmer notices you're missing!
My dental surgery is this Friday!.

Dr: "Mr Smith, your wife is comfortable."

Husband: "I thought she was in a coma and critical condition."
Dr: "She is, the nurses are using her as a beanbag."

If a transgender gets surgery to be turned back to their natural-born s**......

Then does that make them a trans-former?

Lower back problems

The other day, my friend and I were discussing Scarlett Johansson. I said: "I think she got breast reduction surgery." My friend asked why. I told him, "lower back problems." He looked shocked and indignant and said: "why didn't she get lower back surgery then?"

Making Babies

A couple went to the hospital for their baby delivery. The wife was very sickly and fragile. The deliver had to be a Caesarean section. The husband was pacing the hallways while the wife was in surgery. The nurse finally came out of the delivery room with a little package wrapped in a blue blanket. The nurse said to the husband, "Here is your new baby boy, I'm very sorry your wife didn't make it". The husband handed the baby back to the nurse and demanded, "Give me the baby my wife made, not this one."

I just got a Vasectomy...

The urologist gave me a cup and said I had to fill it in 60 days then bring it back for a s**... count. I guess the surgery doesn't make a vas deferens right away...

Speaking of foreskins.....

A baby boy was born back in 2015 with a rare condition called Ablepharon-macrostomia syndrome that left him without eyelids.  This happened in my small resort town in upstate NY, it turned that there was a world-renowned plastic surgeon in town and he performed a surgery to correct the condition. Due to the lack of suitable donors for the skin the doctor used the boy's f**..., post circumcision.  I saw him the other day and other than looking a little c**...-eyed he seemed okay. 

A woman was having surgery

A woman was having surgery to have her left leg amputated, due to gangrene. Unfortunately, the doctor mistakenly removed her right leg.
Realising his mistake while she was still under anaesthesia, he proceeded to remove her left left.
Later on, she sued the doctor for malpractice, but the jury did not come back in her favor.
They said she didn't have a leg to stand on!

An accountant goes to the doctor...

An accountant knocks on the door of his doctor's surgery and walks in.
"Hello, doctor. Please help. I just don't know what's wrong with me. Goodbye." With that he turns around and walks out.
30 seconds later he is back. "Hello again, doctor. Please help. I just don't know what's wrong with me."
The Doctor looks up from his desk and says:
>"Mmm. I think you have a serious case of double entry."

Ed Sheeran's Perfect Timing

Some background is required to understand this beautiful joke.
My best friend is engaged to my little brother and the summer after our senior year she had to get surgery because her legs were growing inward. They broke her femurs and inserted metal rods to help them grow back straight, and they took them out a few months later. During the time after the surgery she couldn't walk and got around in a wheelchair.
July 4th, after her surgery, my brother was watching fireworks with her and her family. Ed Sheeran's song "Thinking Out Loud" came on the radio. Without missing a beat my brother makes eye contact with her and sings:
"When your legs don't work like they used to before"

A man was in a terrible accident...

and his 'manhood' was mangled and torn from his body. His doctor assured him that modern medicine could give him back his manhood, but that his insurance wouldn't cover the surgery since it was considered cosmetic. The doctor said the cost would be $3,500 for 'small, $6,500 for 'medium, and $14,000 for 'large.'
The man was sure he would want a medium or large, but the doctor urged him to talk it over with his wife before he made any decision. The man called his wife on the phone and explained their options. The doctor came back into the room, and found the man looking dejected.
'Well, what have the two of you decided?' asked the doctor.
'She'd rather remodel the kitchen.'

A woman who was very skeptical of modern medicine, had to get surgery...

A woman who was very skeptical of modern medicine, had to get surgery. She was in pre-op and asked the nurse if there was any way she could administer the anesthesia medication herself. To which the nurse replied "I am not sure, I will go ask the surgeon." The nurse leaves to check with the surgeon. After a few minutes the nurse walks back into the room, with the surgeon behind her.
Again, the woman asks the surgeon if she can administer the anesthesia medication herself. The surgeon replies "Sure, knock yourself out!"

A magician accidentally turned his wife into a couch and his two kids into armchairs.

He started to panic and thought to himself, "What on earth have I done?"
He began to ponder, "How am I going to bring back my beloved family?" So, he thought for a while and decided a good idea was to take them to a hospital and see if the surgeon could operate and bring them back. He loaded them into his van and off he rushed to the local hospital.
He walked up and down the hospital hall and after some serious surgery, he asks the doctor, "Doc, how are they?"
The doctor replied, "Comfortable!"

3 surgeons discuss who is the best surgeon of them.

Says the one: "I am the best surgeon of Texas! A concert pianist lost 7 fingers in an accident. I sewed them on and tomorrow he gives a private concert for the queen."
Says the second: "This is nothing! A young man lost both his arms and his legs in an accident. I stitched them back on and two years later he won the gold medal in the olympic games!"
Says the 3rd: "Amateurs! A few years ago a cowboy rode s**... and drunk in front of a train. All that remained were his b**... and the blonde mane of his horse. I did the surgery on him and today he is the president of the United States."

A gangrene infection

A doctor at a hospital was out back on a smoke break and noticed a man standing at the nearby dumpster. He approached the man to make sure everything was ok and noticed that this man was suffering from a gangrene infection on his leg. Being a caring doctor, he invites the man into the hospital to have his leg examined. During the examination, it's determined that the mans leg needs to be amputated. Upon waking up from his surgery, the man discovers that the doctor amputated the wrong leg. Furious and threatening a lawsuit, he undergoes a second surgery to remove the leg with gangrene. He sues the hospital but he ends up losing because the court ruled that he didn't have a leg to stand on.