Back Jokes

Funniest Back Short Jokes

Short back jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The back humour may include short rear jokes also.

1. My wife left me because I'm too insecure. No wait, she's back.
   She just went to make a cup of tea.
2. A pirate goes to the doctor and say, "I have moles on me back aaarrrghh." The doctor: "It's ok, they're benign."
   pirate: "Count again, I think there be ten!"
3. As we landed in Saudi Arabia the pilot announced "Ladies and Gentlemen don't forget to adjust your watches to local time" I thought to myself how do I turn it back to the 7th century?
4. Doctor: (handing me my new born baby) I'm sorry but your wife didn't make it Me: (handing baby back to him) Bring me the one my wife made
5. The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve. It was an apple but with extremely limited memory. Just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.
6. In 50 years: "You know, kids, back in my day, we had to wear masks everywhere we went at one point." We didn't have those fancy hazmat suit you all wear today
7. I got my covid test results and I'm so confused.. it was just the number 83... On the plus side my IQ test came back positive
8. I had a vasectomy because I didn't want to have kids. But when I came back home, they were still there.
9. I invented a new golf ball that'll automatically go in the hole if it gets within four inches. Do NOT carry them in your back pocket.
10. So I told my wife she'd look sexier with her hair back Apparently that's not a nice thing to say to cancer patients.

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Back One Liners

Which back one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with back? I can suggest the ones about forward and reverse.

1. My girlfriend broke up with me so I took her wheelchair Guess who came crawling back
2. If I'm ever on life support, unplug me... Then plug me back in, see if that works.
3. I dated a dentist a while back, She had the whitest teeth I ever came across.
4. When you pull the pin on a grenade, how do you put it back in? Quick answers please.
5. My drug test came back negative. My drug dealer has some explaining to do.
6. Does anyone remember the joke I made about the Chiropractor? It was about a weak back.
7. What lies on its back, 100 feet in the air? A dead centipede.
8. What did Chuck Norris do when his parachute failed to open? Brought it back for a refund.
9. My girlfriend, Ruth, fell off the back of my bike. I rode on, ruthlessly.
10. My wife left me because of my gambling addiction But I know I can win her back
11. The furniture store keeps calling me back..... But all I wanted was that one nightstand.
12. Why is the ocean so salty? Because the land doesn't wave back.
13. My daughter just lost her first tooth! That'll teach her to talk back.
14. Why is Empire Strikes Back the best Star Wars movie? It's a perfect 5/7.
15. What's the most popular red wine?? We want our land back!!

Looking Back Jokes

Here is a list of funny looking back jokes and even better looking back puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Dad puts the car in reverse, looks in the rearview mirror and says... "Ah, that takes me back."
• Looking back, I'm glad I didn't get that YouTube internship I really dodged a bullet
• Have you guys seen the new image from James Webb telescope yet? I heard it looks back in time like 13.7 billion years... ...and it still can't see the last time you got laid.
• I told a girl she would look better with her hair back and she got really offended. Chemo patients are so sensitive.
• I once told a joke about Orpheus and Eurydice. Looking back...
  It was a bad idea.
• I asked a girl to come back to my place and as she was looking through my books... She asked, "How come you've got so many copies of 'War and Peace'?"
  I replied, "It's a long story..."
• The rear view mirror fell out of my car a couple of months ago and I have never replaced it. Haven't looked back since.
• I built a staircase using an online tutorial! When I finished I thought something looked wrong so I went back to look at the instructions. I missed a step.
• Step on a crack, break your momma's back! So then I went on a walk with my family. I stepped on a crack, looked at my mom, and said "Why didn't your back break, mom?"
  "You're adopted."
• I sat back looking at the stars and began to think.. Where the HECK is my roof?!

Back In My Day Jokes

Here is a list of funny back in my day jokes and even better back in my day puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• My wife is pregnant with a boy and i want to call him Lance My wife said its such an uncommon name.
  So i told her back in medievil days people were called Lance a lot
• A lot of people call # a Hashtag but back in my day it was the pound sign which makes the movement #MeToo a bit awkward
• Wife: I am going to London for 5 days, what should I get you on my way back? Husband: A cute British girl.
  \*wife returns from London\*
  Husband: Where is my gift?
  Wife: Wait nine months.
• Back in my day we used to only have chalkboards. The new whiteboards they use are Remarkable
• Remember back in the day when your TV wouldn't work so you'd bang it a few times? I tried that with my dishwasher, but unfortunately, she ended up pregnant...
• I was so hungry this morning I almost ate a clock.... I didn't because it's time consuming. Also, I'd have to go back for seconds.
  I'm here all day..
• i hope people on September 2nd 1885 were flipping out on Back to the Future Part III day
• I accidentally called my wife a 'trophy' the other day... She shot back, Oh come on, just because you always finish first doesn't mean you win anything!
• TIL back in the day there were only 25 letters in the alphabet. Nobody knew y.
• First Day At School The child comes home from his first day at school.
  His Mother asks, "Well, what did you learn today?"
  The kid replies, "Not enough. They want me to come back tomorrow."

Back To Work Jokes

Here is a list of funny back to work jokes and even better back to work puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Instead of water, I put redbull in the the back of my coffee maker this morning I was halfway to work before I realized I forgot my car.
• The butcher backed up... The butcher backed up to the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
• Me: "It's not about how many times you fall. What matters is how many times you get back up." Officer: "That isn't how field sobriety tests work."
• After a long day's work, I came home and saw my kid ripping off the front and back pages of my dictionary. Things just went from Bad to Worse.
• My boss texted me "Send me a funny joke" I texted him back "Sorry, boss, I'm working at the moment, I'll send you one later."
  He replied back "That was fantastic, send me another!"
• Why don't revolutions work? Because after one revolution you're back where you started.
• A Spine surgeon's to-do list 1) Get back to work!
• As I was leaving work for the day, my boss tried to get me to stay back and finish a report. I told him it sounded like a job for Tom. Tom Orrow.
• What happened to the butcher when he backed into the meat grinder? Nothing. He just got a little behind in his work.
• As I'm walking in to work this morning my boss told me to "Have a good day" Who am i to argue? Thanked him and came straight back home

Back Door Jokes

Here is a list of funny back door jokes and even better back door puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• My wife's leaving me because I'm too arrogant. I told her to close the door on her way back in.
• If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog because he shuts up after you let him in.
• Late one night in the USSR there is a knock at the door. Everyone leaps out of bed. Papa goes shakily to the door.
  
  'It's all right,' he says, coming back. 'The building's on fire.'
• I tried to kidnap a blacksmith, but when I turned my back ... ... he made a bolt for the door.
• Did you hear about the guy who is both a taxidermist and a veterinarian? He has a sign on his door: Either way, you get your dog back.
• Why does Santa come down the chimney? Mrs. clause told him he'd never be allowed to come in the back Door.
• Ever since the government lockdown, my neighbor has had to run her business out of her backyard. She bakes delicious pastries. Google Back Door Cream Pies if you're interested.
• So a woman walks out of a doctor's office and she stops at the door, looks back at the doctor and says :
  - What was it again ? Sagittarius, Capricorn ?
  - No ma'am, CANCER !
• I love my wife but I've been seeing someone else... ...leaving through the back door as I get home every day.
• I stopped by my favorite noodle place on my lunch break, but the line to get in was out the door. There was no way I'd be able to order and get back to work on time, it was a real pho queue.

Welcome Back Jokes

Here is a list of funny welcome back jokes and even better welcome back puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• So President Trump wants to abolish the two term limit on the Presidency. Welcome back President Obama we missed you.
• Apparently I was mistaken about the meaning of "gender-fluid" And I'm not welcome back at that support group ever again.
• A dad joke is just a pair of back to back sentences. Welcome to the punitentiary.
• Welcome to the 2018 Golden Globes Where Hollywood will pat itself on the back and several men will pat Hollywood on the front
• Literal People Anonymous Welcome to Literal People Anonymous, would everyone please take a seat. NO, WAIT! BRING THOSE CHAIRS BACK!
• Michigan is the First State to Welcome Back Sub-$1 Gas Just flip on your water faucet and you'll get it for free
• Welcome back My name isn't Back, it's Dad, gosh
• "Welcome back, happy New Year!" "Thank you!"
  "Welcome!"
  And that's the last time I'm taking Bollywood movie suggestions from my friends.
• Welcome to Utah: set your watch back 20 years.

Ridiculous Back Jokes to Spark Fun and Laughter

What funny jokes about back you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean side jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make back pranks.