The Best 54 Bachelor Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Bachelor jokes. There are some bachelor graduation jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these bachelor eharmony puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Bachelor Jokes and Puns

How can you tell if you are at a bulimic bachelor party?

The cake jumps out of the girl.

My mom really only sends the classiest of FWDs

A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him.
She says hello. He's rather taken a back because he can't place where he knows her.
So he says, "Do you know me?"
To which she replies, "I think you're the father of one of my kids."
Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife, and he says,
"Oh, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I did on the pool table with all my buddies
watching while your partner whipped me with wet celery?"
The woman looks sternly into his eyes and says very calmly, "No, I'm your son's teacher."

Why are bachelors thin, and married men fat?

Bachelors come home, check to see what's in the fridge, and go to bed.

….Married men come home, check to see what's in the bed, and go the fridge.

Bachelor joke, Why are bachelors thin, and married men fat?

My handwriting has gotten pretty bad...

I am the most illegible bachelor in my hometown!

Why bachelors are skinner than married men

A bachelor goes into the kitchen, opens the fridge, sighs, goes to bed.

A married man goes into the bedroom, lifts the blanket, sighs, goes to the fridge.


What do you call Hitler's bachelor party?

The Reich-stag!

What's the difference between a married man and a bachelor?

As opposed to married man, a bachelor washes dishes before eating.

Bachelor joke, What's the difference between a married man and a bachelor?

Why is Jesus a perpetual bachelor?

Because he comes once and never comes back.

Being a bachelor is dangerous. I pulled a groin muscle while getting out of bed.

Over and over and over....

Engineers will get it

They should call it a "Bachelor because of Science".

I'm the most wanted bachelor in the state

Some of my exes even put a price on me head

You can explore bachelor interest reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean bachelor longevity dad jokes. There are also bachelor puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Shameless Bachelor Joke Theft

Why did the walrus go to the Tupperware store?
He wanted to find a tight seal!

Going on a Bachelor party cruise

I was getting ready to go on a cruise for my best friends bachelor party and told Voice command Cell girl to "Remind me about power strip for bachelor party". Later that night my wife asked if we had purchased an extra cruise ticket or if the cruise line was going to throw in the power stripper.

I wish there was a Mormon version of The Bachelor.

That way none of the women would have to be eliminated.

Why would you want to get married and get a masters degree at the same time?

The bachelor life is so much better.

What did the man say at his bachelor party when his #1 groomsman won at Hide and Seek?

A best man is hard to find.

Bachelor joke, What did the man say at his bachelor party when his #1 groomsman won at Hide and Seek?

Why wasn't Kanye allowed to have a prostitute at his bachelor party?

Because you're not supposed to see the bride before the wedding

I have something to say to anyone who has more than one Bachelor Degree

That's a bunch of B.S.

I got my Bachelor of Science from Franklin University

But people seem quite unsettled when I tell them I got my BS from FU


You know The Bachelorette producers have run out of ideas when they say

Phuket for the final rose ceremony.

What is the Bachelorette called in Spanish?

Pico de Gallo

Did you hear about the bulimic bachelor party?

The cake comes out of the girl.

Why don't bachelors use git?

They don't like committing.

I think i just wrote a joke out of my pathetic love life while fixing supper and here it goes. What does a bachelor eat the most?

Balonely sandwiches.

What's the difference between a married man and a bachelor?

A bachelor will go to the fridge, sees nothing he wants, and go to bed

A married man will go the bed, sees nothing he wants, and go the fridge!

What makes an elderly millionaire bachelor more attractive?

Terminal illness.

What was the highlight of the bulimic bachelor party?

It was when the cake came out of the girl.

What's the difference between a bachelor and a married man?

Bachelor comes home, checks out what's in the fridge & goes to bed. Married man comes home, checks out what's in the bed & goes to the fridge.

What was Boaz like when he was a bachelor?

Ruthless.

If a lady doth entertain many a suitor in a fortnight, she is of questionable moral character...

But should a gentleman follow suit, a true and confirmed bachelor is *that* dear fellow! Huzzah!

Why is the sperm of a bachelor more valuable than the sperm of a married man?

It's usually hand made.

Why are Bachelors slimmer than the Married Men?

Bachelors return from work. See the same boring stuff in the 'FRIDGE' n go to 'BED'.

Married Men return from work. See the same boring stuff in 'BED' n go to the 'FRIDGE'.

I went to a bulimic bachelor party last weekend

A cake jumped out of the stripper.

"The Bachelor" in Islam would be interesting.

The show would only last one episode though. He'd take all 12 to be his wives.

A Bachelor is like a new detergent

it works fast and leaves no ring.

What does a Mexican bachelor make for dinner?

Dinner for Juan.

If the opposite of bachelor is bachelorette, what's the opposite of cigar?

Living to see your grandchildren.

The bachelor is a good show

I have a jar in my garage labeled, "My Bachelor Years."

It's filled with a bunch of random screws.

Why couldn't She read His Valentine's Day Card?

Because he was an illegible bachelor.

Is Google a bachelor or married?

Bachelor as it still keeps searching!

Prince Harry had his Bachelor Party last night in London and here is his "Quote of the Day" from that memorable event:

"It's really weird stuffing money into a stripper's G string when every billΒ has a photo of your grandmother printed on it."

My friend said he didn't want anyone to hire strippers for his Bachelor Party

So I'm getting ones who will do it just for the exposure.

Prince Harry's bachelor party had to be pretty awkward.

He was putting pictures of his grandma in a strippers G string.

After 4 years of college, the virgin finally gets an invitation to a party

A bachelor party.

What do you call a bachelor from New Zealand? Two Thirds

Because of the recurring SIX

Define Marriage?

It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.

When I got my bachelor of sciences degree, I bought a labrador

Every scientist needs a lab after all.

My friends surprised me with a massage for my bachelor party today.

I was really touched

What do Game of Thrones, The Walking Dead, and Spider-Man all have in common?

They're more realistic than The Bachelor.

This will take awhile

Steve, a lonely bachelor, wants some company, so he buys a centipede and a small box for it to live in. That evening, he decides to go out.
"Want to grab a drink?" he asks the centipede, but there's no answer from the box.
A few minutes later, he asks againβ€”still no reply. Finally, he hollers, "Hey! Do you want to get a drink?"
"I heard you the first time!" says a small, irritated voice. "I'm putting on my shoes!"

Why was the TV show "The Bachelor" a failure in Saudi Arabia?

Episode 1, after 10 mins:

"I'll take them all..."

\- End -

A doctor has sex with a patient

A doctor has sex with a patient. And the guilt is killing him, it goes against the ethics code every doctor swears by.

So one part of his brain tells him: "don't worry, you're not the first guy to sleep with a patient, and you definitely won't be the last. You're a bachelor too, it's fiiiine"

The other part of his brain says: "Bro, you're a vet"

Damn. My wife just found out that after I got my Bachelor degree at the University of Barad-dΓ»r, I went back and got my Masters there...

I've been found guilty of second-degree Mordor.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the bachelor mba jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working bachelor rachel piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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