Bach Jokes

Following is our collection of concerto humor and arnold one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Bach puns for adults, dirty sonata jokes or clean handel gags for kids.

There is an abundance of orchestral jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 69 funniest jokes on bach. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any liszt witze you can hear about bach.

The Best jokes about Bach

Eight year old tells funniest joke

My eight year old cousin told me this one:

Why was Beethoven mad at his chicken?

Because he kept saying Bach Bach Bach

Why did Mozart kill all of his chickens?

When he asked them who was greatest composer, they all said "Bach Bach Bach Bach."

Why did Mozart kill all his chickens?









Because when he asked them their favorite composer, they said Bach Bach bach

Why are bachelors thin, and married men fat?

Bachelors come home, check to see what's in the fridge, and go to bed.

….Married men come home, check to see what's in the bed, and go the fridge.

What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when Sylvester Stallone wanted to dress up as classical composers for Halloween?

"You be Beethoven, I'll be Bach."


Why didn't Bach attend Vivaldi's concert?

He was baroque.

Why did Mozart get rid of his chickens?

Because they kept saying "Bach, bach, bach"

Why did Mozart kill his chicken?

Because when he asked the chicken "Who's the best composer" the chicken said "Bach, Bach, Bach"

Sylvester Stallone, Jean Claude Van Damme, and Arnold Schwarzenegger are all making a movie about classical composers.

Sylvester Stallone said, "I'll be mozart."
Jean Claude Van Damme said, "I'll be Beethoven."
Schwarzenegger said, "I'll be bach."

Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

They were yelling "Bach Bach Bach Bach"

If Arnold Schwarzenegger were a pianist..

He'd be Bach.


Mozart killed all his chickens..

he had asked them who the best composer was, and they kept saying " Bach! Bach! Bach!

Mozart, Beethoven, and Schwarzenegger are getting ready to throw a Halloween party. Mozart turns to Arnie and asks, "what's your costume going to be?"

"I'll be Bach"

Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens?

All they said was ,"Bach, Bach, Bach"

In honor of Father's day, a dad joke

There is a rumor that a movie about a 17th century classical composers will be made. It will even star Arnold Schwarzenegger among others.


He'll be Bach

The Terminator and his friends decided to go to a costume party dressed up as famous classical musicians.

"I'll be Beethoven!", said one friend.

"I'll be Mozart!", said the other friend.

"I'll be Bach.", said The Terminator.

What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when he was invited to the historical costume party?

"I'll be Bach"

What music do chickens listen to?

Bach

Who is a chicken's favorite composer?

Bach


Did you hear that they're producing an action movie about a team of crime-fighting composers?

They already approached Arnold Schwarzenegger about playing fellow Austrian Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, but he said "no, I'll be Bach!"

What kind of music do chickens like best?

Bach!

What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when he was invited to a classical musician theme Halloween party?

I'll be Bach.

A joke from work

Four famous actors get together and decide to dress up as famous artists for Halloween.

Leonardo DiCaprio says he'll go as Da Vinci since they have the same first name.

Tom Cruise says he'll go as Van Gogh so they have two painters.

Bill Murray says he'll go as Beethoven since he likes his music.

Arnold Schwarzenegger just looks at them and says "I'll be Bach."

Why did Bach have to sell his organ?

Why did Bach have to sell his organ?

A: Because he was baroque.

Terminator, RoboCop, & Optimus Prime are all together thinking of their next costume for Halloween...

when RoboCop says "We should all be classical musical composers; I'll be..Beethoven!".

 


Optimus Prime agrees and says "alright - I'll be..Mozart!".

 


Terminator stands up and says "I'll be Bach!".

A farmer bragged to his friend about his smart chickens

"How do you know they're smart?"

"They love classical music! That's smarty-pants music right there."

"And how do you know that's what they like?"

"Every morning, I say to the chickens 'What music for today?' and they ask for their favorite composer: 'Bach, Bach, Bach!'"

Was Johann Sebastian Bach wealthy?

No, he was baroque.

Why did Mozart kill all of his chickens?

Because they kept running around screaming, "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

Why did Mozart kill his pet chicken?

Because all it would say was, "Bach, Bach, Bach..."

Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they were always saying, "Bach, Bach, Bach, Bach"

A king is picking the music to be played at his party

A king is throwing an extravagant party, and wants the perfect music to go along, but he can't decide who to have perform. So, he asks his most highly esteemed servant for advice.

"I am looking for a new unique style of music to be played at the party," says the king.

"Well, how about Johann Bach?" suggests the servant.

"He's great and everything," says the king, "But I want something new and unique"

The servant says, "Well what about oldest son, William Bach? He has mastered the art of classical music"

At this point the King is getting irritated. "No, no, no. I want something fresh and new and refreshing to hear. We've all heard of classical music"

"I know just the person you're looking for!" says the servant. "His youngest son David Bach has a style unlike that of his brothers and father. How does that sound?"

The king, furious at his servants similar suggestions, screams, "What's wrong with you? Can't you think outside the Bachs?!"

So I died and was reincarnated as a composer...

I'm Bach now.

Why did Mozart hate chickens?

Because they all they ever say is Bach! Bach! Bach!

Co worker told me this one

Sean Connery, Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger are discussing making a movie about great composers.

Sean Connery says Only if I get to be Mozart

Stallone says Then I'll be Beethoven

Arnold says I'll be Bach

Why couldn't Bach afford a new harpsichord?

He was baroque.

They're making a movie about classical music composers...

They're making a movie about classical music composers. In the middle of the auditions, Arnold Schwarzenegger walked in and simply declared, "I'll be Bach."

i've got a Liszt of great composer puns that's Haydn in my closet somewhere...

i could look Bach there and read it to you, but i don't think you could Handel it.

I went Chopin but I forgot my Liszt

So I'll go Bach home

Why couldn't Bach afford a new baton?

Because he was Baroque

So there's this school play...

Sylvester Stallone, Chuck Norris, and Arnold Schwarzenegger have to put on a play featuring their favorite musical composers. They each toil over who they will play, until the next day they meet.

Stallone goes first.

"I'll be Mozart"

Next up is Chuck Norris.

"I'll be Beethoven".

Happy that no one picked his composer, Arnold announces "I'll be Bach".

You know you spend too much time sitting, playing piano...

...when your Bach hurts

I'm pretty sure chickens love classical music

All I hear from them is "bach bach bach bach bach"

I went Chopin, but I forgot my Liszt.

Don't worry, I will go Bach later.

If Arnold Schwarzenegger was a composer which would he be?

He'd be Bach

Why did the composer go to the chiropractor?

Because he had Bach problems

What type of classical music do chickens like best?

Bach.

Why did Mozart got rid of his chickens ?

Because they would only say Bach! Bach! Bach!

Why can't Bach buy a piano

Because he is Baroque

Why are Bachelors slimmer than the Married Men?

Bachelors return from work. See the same boring stuff in the 'FRIDGE' n go to 'BED'.

Married Men return from work. See the same boring stuff in 'BED' n go to the 'FRIDGE'.

Sean Connery, Sylvester Stallone, and Arnold Schwarzenegger are going to be in a movie about classical composers...

They are talking to the director about what roles they want to play.

Sean Connery says "I would shertainly like to play Moshart."

Sylvester Stallone says "Uh, well, I guess I wanna play Beethoven."

And so Arnold pauses a moment, and then says "I'll be Bach."

Arnold Schwarzenegger gets a call from his agent...

Who tells him that an up-and-coming director is looking for German- and Austrian-born actors for a movie.

"It's a little different than the stuff you're known for," the agent says, "It's a period piece about classical music composers. Should I arrange an audition?"

"There is no need," Arnold says. "I'll be Bach."

Danny Devito and Arnold Schwarzenegger are hanging out

Danny suggests they do some musical reenactment. Arnold, being the nice guy that he is agrees and let's Danny choose who he will be. Danny chooses Mozart. As for Arnold, he'll be Bach

A bunch of actors were getting ready to be in a movie about famous singers and they were deciding who's gonna be who

RDJ said I'll be Beethoven and Hugh Jackman said I'll be Freddie Mercury and then everyone turned to Arnold Schwarzenegger said I'll be Bach

Arnold Schwarzenegger's girlfriend broke up with him

Arnold Schwarzenegger's girlfriend broke up with him in hopes that it would be enough to stop him from dressing up as classical composers for halloween.


But deep down, she still knew that he'd be bach.

Why bachelors are skinner than married men

A bachelor goes into the kitchen, opens the fridge, sighs, goes to bed.

A married man goes into the bedroom, lifts the blanket, sighs, goes to the fridge.

Did you know they are making an action movie about the great composers?

Arnold Schwarzeneggar says he'll be Bach.

Who is a Boston Terrier's favorite classical composer?

Bach

I won a contest to go trick or treating with Arnold Schwarzenegger this year. Wad thinking of going as Beethoven.

He'll be Bach.

Why couldn't Bach pay for his rent?

Because he was a Baroque composer.

Who was the chicken's favorite musician?

Bach.

I have something to say to anyone who has more than one Bachelor Degree

That's a bunch of B.S.

They say classical music was written to speak through the ages

Bach to the future.

Bad musicians can be scary.

But their Bach is worse than their bite.

What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say to Beethoven on the way to the fancy dress party?

"I'll be Bach"

Arnold Schwarzenegger is asked in an interview...

If you could be reincarnated as any famous musician in history, Who would it be.

He replies "I'll be Bach."

Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris and Arnold Schwarzenegger are all auditioning for a film about composers...

Bruce Willis says "I'll be Mozart", Chuck Norris says "I'll be Beethoven" and Arnold Schwarzenegger says "I'll be Bach".

Some actors were planning to make a movie on famous composers

Arnold Schwarzenegger, Leonardo DiCaprio and Tom Hanks were all making a movie about famous composers. Leo said, "I'd like to play Beethoven." Tom said, "I'd like to play Mozart." Arnie said "I'll be Bach"

Three actors are deciding on roles for a movie about classical music.

Matt Damon, Brad Pitt and Arnold Schwarzenegger are all taking part in a new movie about classical composers.

"I think I'll play Beethoven!" declared Matt.

"I'd like the role of Mozart!" Brad decided.

"I'll be Bach." said Arnie.

What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when he and his friends decided to cosplay as famous composers?

I'll be Bach.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes