Babysitting Jokes

Following is our collection of lent humor and softball one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Babysitting puns for adults, dirty toddler jokes or clean nanny gags for kids.

There is an abundance of fortnite jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 12 funniest jokes on babysitting. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any blowjobs witze you can hear about babysitting.

The Best jokes about Babysitting

I lost 40 pounds in a day;

but I also lost my babysitting job.

My dad was babysitting my two children, so I called him later to ask how it was going.

Me: "What did they have for dinner?"

Dad: "Which one? Charlie or Clark?"

Me: "Charlie"

Dad: "Spaghetti"

Me: "What about Clark?"

Dad: "Spaghetti"

Me: "Ok ... So what time did they go to bed?"

Dad: "Which one? Charlie or Clark?"

Me: "Charlie"

Dad: "7:30"

Me: "And Clark dad?"

Dad: "Also 7:30"

Me: "If the answers are the same, why are you telling me them separately?"

Dad: "Well, I was the one looking after Charlie".

Me: "oh, who was looking after Clark then?"

Dad: "Me".

Do you know the difference between twelve-year-old scotch and baby formula?

No? Then you're sure as hell not babysitting for my kids!

When I was 15 I got fired from my babysitting job when I lost my retarded neighbor at the mall...

I guess you could say I've been looking for that special someone ever since.


While babysitting, I was preparing a snack for my best friends daughter. Wasn't sure what I should give her, and noticed I had a lot of fruit. So I asked her "What's your favorite fruit?" She looked at me with complete seriousness, and said "loops".

So a girl is stuck babysitting her little brother...

When she finally gets him to bed on the bottom bunk of his bunk-bed, she decides to invite her boyfriend over so that they can have a little fun together. To avoid her parents walking in on her, she takes her boyfriend and they get up on the top bunk of her little brothers bed, being careful to not wake him up. She says to her boyfriend

"I don't want my brother to hear us saying anything that may be inappropriate so when I want you to go faster I'll say 'lettuce' and when I want you to go slower I'll say 'tomato'"

So they're going at it-


When her little brother wakes up and says,

"HEY! Can you guys STOP! You're getting mayonnaise all over me!"

I knew babysitting my neighbor's son was gonna be a challenge...

The first time I went to babysit, I tripped on the doormat, spilled my coffee, and yelled 'son of a bitch!'

Then the kid poked his head out of his room, and said 'did somebody call?'

what do you call fortnite during the day?


Cosby, Duggar & Fogle babysitting services....

We watch the kids, mom gets some rest.

I just got fired for having sexual relations with my client

It's alright, I didn't like babysitting anyway.

I just got fired from my first job today.

Apparently you can't make out with costumers.

Babysitting was stupid anyway

Just got fired from my first job because apparently you're not allowed to make out with customers.

Well, whatever, babysitting was stupid anyway.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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