Babys Jokes
30 babys jokes and hilarious babys puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about babys that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Babys Short Jokes
Short babys jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The babys humour may include short newborn jokes also.
- Why will the congress never impeach Trump? Because the republicans always insist on carrying a baby to full term.
- Wife was breastfeeding Her: the baby sure is taking his time getting his meal in
Me: yeah he is really milking it
- Doctor: (handing me my new born baby) I'm sorry but your wife didn't make it Me: (handing baby back to him) Bring me the one my wife made
- Amal and Juan are identical twins. Their mom only carries one baby photo in her wallet. Because if you've seen Juan you've seen Amal.
- A doctor hands a man his newborn baby and says "I'm sorry, but your wife didn't make it." The man hands the baby back and responds, "Well, bring me the one my wife made."
- I just hired a beautiful 21 year old girl to look after my 1 year old baby. Now I have two issues: 1. How to tell this to my wife
2. Where to find a 1 year old baby - I thought a vasectomy wouldn't get my wife pregnant.. Turns out, all it does is just change the color of the baby.
- Mr. Bigger and Mrs. Bigger have a baby. Who's the biggest in the family? The baby of course - because he's a little Bigger.
- A baby roach asks his dad what happens if they get sprayed with Raid. Papa Roach said, Suffocation, no breathing.
- Vaccinated babies are 10 times more likely to die from heart disease, cancer, and alzheimer's. Keep kids from dying from old age, stop vaccinating today.
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Babys One Liners
Which babys one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with babys? I can suggest the ones about nanny and babysitter.
- Light babies are delivered by stork, heavy babies... Delivered by crane.
- Hey baby, are you a GPU? Cause I wanna make you mine.
- "No thanks. I am a vegetarian." is a fun thing to say when someone hands you a baby.
- Hey baby are you a Communist? Because i can feel an uprising in my lower class.
- Hey girl, are you a parked car in July? Because I want to leave a baby in you.
- dark Humour is like anti-vax families There's usually a dead baby.
- Jesus' life told by the bible 1. baby
2. ???
3. prophet - Why was the baby in africa crying? It was having a mid-life crisis.
- Babies are born with 4 kidneys. When they grow up, 2 of them turn into adult knees.
- I used my stimulus check to buy baby chickens Money for nothing, and the chicks for free
- why was the 6 month old African baby crying? It was having a mid life crisis
- What do you call babies with guns? Infantry
- What do you call a group of babies? an Infantry
- Baby Shark Today's date.
- What's the difference between a baby and a baked potato? About 140 calories.
Laughable Babys Jokes for Instant Grins & Giggles
What funny jokes about babys you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean baby diaper jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make babys pranks.
Two babys at the birth ward...
...one baby says to the other."i'm a boy" to with the other reply:"how do you know?". the first baby pulls the blanket to the side and says:"look i got blue socks on"
Silly Grandad
Johns Grandad comes over to look after him for the day. John goes outside and plays with the neighbors kid, a bit later he comes in and asks "Grandad, whats it called when two people sleep in one room one on top of the other?" Grandad replies "I've got to be honest with you, you are 8 now, its called i**... and thats how you make babys." ten minutes later John returns "Freds mum said its called bunkbeds, and she needs a word with you"
Babys In Mothers Woom
Three babies are in their mother's w**.... One of them says, "I want to be an artist so everyone knows what it looks like in here." The next one says, "I want to be a swimmer because I get so much practice in here." The last baby says, "I'm going to be a hunter because if that snake comes in here and pokes me again, I'm going to chop that thing in half!
If the babysitter is present when your child takes their first steps...
...they are automatically promoted to babystander.
I once babysat a sausage.
It was really poorly behaved, though.
A total *brat*.
Just the *wurst*.
What's the difference between a watermelon and a babys head?
One's fun to smash with a hammer and the other one tastes good
How did the babysitter lose 500 kids and keep her job?
She swallowed
You can't even be a babysitter these days without someone getting offended.
And calling you a "home intruder".
The best male thief in the world and the best female thief in the world gets married.
They have a baby.But the babys hand is always closed.They open hand hardly.They see the midwife's ring.
Why doesn't anything I plant bloom?
Dead babys don't grow up.
Baby-shooter is the best h**... masterpieces ever made
Playing with auto fill on my new Samsung phone.
My babysitter once tried to m**... me
Goes without saying I stopped letting him babysit my kids after that.
What do babys and politicians have in common?
Both need diapers.
Why was the babysitter fired?
Because she helped the baby walk her first steps.
I'm babysitting for a single mom who is an hour late...
She's probably getting pregnant right now...
