Babys Jokes

Following is our collection of kiddy humor and nanny one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Babys puns for adults, dirty babysitter jokes or clean dead baby gags for kids.

There is an abundance of baby camel jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 15 funniest jokes on babys. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any baby sister witze you can hear about babys.

The Best jokes about Babys

Two babys at the birth ward...

...one baby says to the other."i'm a boy" to with the other reply:"how do you know?". the first baby pulls the blanket to the side and says:"look i got blue socks on"

A pregnant mother of three is walking down a alley...

The Mother gets shot 3 times and each bullet gets lodged in each of the babies with no serious damage done to the mother or the babies. Months later the babys are born, two beautiful girls and a boy. One day the one of the little girls goes to the bathroom and comes out and says to the mother "mommy! mommy! Guess what?!" And the mom asks "what?" And the little girl says "I went tinkle and the bullet fell out!" And the mother says "wow that's great!" A few hours later the other little girl goes into the bathroom and comes out and says "mommy! Mommy! Guess what?" And the mom goes "what, you went tinkle and the bullet fell out?" And the girl goes "yeah!" Hours later the little boy runs up the mother and says "Mommy! Mommy! Guess what?" And the mom says "what, You went tinkle and the bullet fell out?" And the boy says "No I was jacking off and I shot the dog!!"

Silly Grandad

Johns Grandad comes over to look after him for the day. John goes outside and plays with the neighbors kid, a bit later he comes in and asks "Grandad, whats it called when two people sleep in one room one on top of the other?" Grandad replies "I've got to be honest with you, you are 8 now, its called intercourse and thats how you make babys." ten minutes later John returns "Freds mum said its called bunkbeds, and she needs a word with you"

Soup for the Mind in riddle form

1. a rooster lays an egg at the very top of a pointed roof. which way does the egg roll??

2. A plane crashes directly in the middle of the border between Canada and U.S.A. where where the survivors buried?

3. Two babys were born from the same mother, on the same day, of the same year, on the same minute, yet were not twins... how is this possible??



Answeres

1. roosters dont lay eggs, hens do
2. the survivors wouldnt need to be buried, the dead would
3. they were part of a triplet,not twins




i know they are old and easy, but better ones WILL come.

Babys In Mothers Woom

Three babies are in their mother's womb. One of them says, "I want to be an artist so everyone knows what it looks like in here." The next one says, "I want to be a swimmer because I get so much practice in here." The last baby says, "I'm going to be a hunter because if that snake comes in here and pokes me again, I'm going to chop that thing in half!


I once babysat a sausage.

It was really poorly behaved, though.

A total *brat*.

Just the *wurst*.

How did the babysitter lose 500 kids and keep her job?

She swallowed

What's the difference between a watermelon and a babys head?

One's fun to smash with a hammer and the other one tastes good

You can't even be a babysitter these days without someone getting offended.

And calling you a "home intruder".

The best male thief in the world and the best female thief in the world gets married.

They have a baby.But the babys hand is always closed.They open hand hardly.They see the midwife's ring.

Why doesn't anything I plant bloom?

Dead babys don't grow up.


Baby-shooter is the best hentai masterpieces ever made

Playing with auto fill on my new Samsung phone.

My babysitter once tried to molest me

Goes without saying I stopped letting him babysit my kids after that.

What do babys and politicians have in common?

Both need diapers.

A pregnant mother of triplets is walking down a alley....

The Mother gets shot 3 times and each bullet gets lodged in each of the babies with no serious damage done to the mother or the babies. Months later the babys are born, two beautiful girls and a boy. One day the one of the little girls goes to the bathroom and comes out and says to the mother "mommy! mommy! Guess what?!" And the mom asks "what?" And the little girl says "I went tickle and the bullet fell out!" And the mother says "wow that's great!" A few hours later the other little girl goes into the bathroom and comes out and says "mommy! Mommy! Guess what?" And the mom goes "what, you went tickle and the bullet fell out?" And the girl goes "yeah!" Hours later the little boy runs up the mother and says "Mommy! Mommy! Guess what?" And the mom says "what, You went tickle and the bullet fell out?" And the boy says "No I was jacking off and I shot the dog!!"
(A very old joke I thought you guys would like)

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes