Baby Sister Jokes

Following is our collection of toddler humor and son one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Baby Sister puns for adults, dirty kiddie jokes or clean preschooler gags for kids.

There is an abundance of daughter jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 32 funniest jokes on baby sister. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any rugrats witze you can hear about baby sister.

The Best jokes about Baby Sister

There were two sisters

There were two sisters named Petal and Fridge.

One day Petal was curious and asked her father, "Why was I named Petal?"

His response was, "Well, when you were a baby a flower petal fell on you."

Then Fridge says, "BLARGHHHALHGLAHG".

For weeks, Tommy was telling his kindergarten teacher about the baby sister who was going to be coming to his house soon.

One day at home, Tommy's mother let him feel the baby kicking. Tommy didn't say anything, and he stopped talking about the baby at school. Finally the teacher sat Tommy down and said, "Whatever happened to your new baby sister?"

Tommy burst into tears and confessed, "I think my mummy ate her!"

A girl asked her dad "Why is my name Rose?"

Her dad said "Because when you were a baby, a rose petal fell to your forehead"

The girl's sister asked the same. "Daddy, why is my name Lily?"

"As a baby, the petal of a lily flower fell on your head."

The youngest daughter then approached.

"AUUGHMMGRNMMM"

"Shut up, Cinderblock." The dad said.

There was a guy who was terrible at naming thing ...

His dog was named dog, his cat was named cat and so on. One day, the man's sister was having twins and in a long family tradition, the babies uncle had to chose the names. Absolutely mortified, the twin girl and boy were born and it was time;

What did you choose for the girl?

Denise

Oh man, that's not so bad. What did you choose for the boy?

Denephew

Little Johnny and His Baby Sister

Little Johnny's newborn baby sister just wouldn't stop crying one day.

Annoyed, Little Johnny asked his mom where they had got her from.

"From Heaven," replied his mom.

"Well, I can see why they threw her out!"


So Little Timmy is Playing with His Legos...

...when all of a sudden his mother comes up to him. She tells him "Timmy, when your father comes home can you tell him to come to our room? Tell him it's very very important". Timmy agrees and continues to play with his legos. A couple of hours later the father comes home and Timmy runs to him and says "Daddy! Mommy says she needs you go to your bedroom, she said it's very very important!". The father starts heading to the bedroom, but Timmy begins to get curious. He secretly follows his dad and waits for him to close the door. He peeks through the keyhole and sees his mom rip off all of her clothes. Standing there naked, she tells the father very bluntly "John. I want a baby". 9 months later, Timmy receives a new baby sister. A couple days at home pass and Timmy goes up to his mom. He tells her "Mommy, when daddy comes home can you tell him to come to my room? It's super important!". A couple hours pass and the father comes home and greets his wife and newborn. She then tells him "John, Timmy wants you to go to his room, he said it was important". The father heads to Timmy's room, and after walking in Timmy begins to rip off all of his clothes. Standing in front of his father naked, Timmy says very bluntly "Daddy. I want a bike".

Baby Names

A little girl asked her Mom why she was named Savannah. Well your father and I were on a trip to Savannah, Georgia when you were conceived so we named you Savannah replied her mom. What about me? Her sister Sydney asked. Well your father and I were on a trip to Sydney, Australia when you were conceived so we named you Sydney replied the mom. That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard their brother shouted out. Hey, you watch your mouth Wendy's Bathroom the mother shouted back.

"Dad, why did you name me Rain?"

Dad: "Because rain was the first thing that fell on you"

Rain: "Oh, I never knew that. Is that why my sister is named Snow as well?"

Dad: "Yes, you are absolutely right"

*a baby cries in the corner*

Dad: Shut up Brick!

sex ed

One day a little boy was at the park with his grandfather when he saw two dogs having sex. He asked what they were doing and was told that was how they made puppies. Later that night he had a bad dream and when he went in to his parents' room he saw them having sex. When he asked what they were doing he was told they were trying to make him a baby brother or sister. Disgusted, he demanded "Well flip her over, I'd rather have a puppy!"

My sister has just had a baby and she has decided to call him Mark, with a C.

Cark.

Dark Joke from my sister when she was 6.

Her: How did the dead baby get across the road?

Me: How?

Her: It was stapled to the chicken.

Me: .....


There were two sisters called Petal and Fridge...

There were two sisters called Petal and Fridge sitting with their parents. Petal asked her mum,
"Mum, why am I called Petal?".

Her mum replied "Well it's because when you were a baby, a flower petal fell on you".

Then Fridge said "BLRGGGGGAAABLLRR!!!"

There were three sisters

One named Lilly, one named Rose, and the other named Cinderblock. One day Lilly went to their mother and asked, "Mom, why did you name me Lilly?"

"Well, when you were a baby, a lilly petal fell on your head," mother replied.

So then Rose went to her mother and asked, "Mom, why did you name me Rose?"

"Because when you were a baby, a rose petal fell on your head," mother replied.

So then Cinderblock went to her mother and asked, "der der duh der duh"

A boy walks in on his parents

A Boy walked in on his parents having sex. They said; "We're making you a baby brother or sister." He said; "Nono, Do it doggie-style. I'd rather have a puppy."

A boy at school

A boy was at school and his teacher asked him to learn 3 new words over the weekend. His father is a pilot and taught him the word "takeoff." His mother is a zoo keeper and taught him the word "zebra." His big sister was going to have a baby and taught him the word "baby." He went to school the next day and his teacher asked, ''What are your three words?'' The boy said, ''Takeoff zebra baby.''

Baby sister told me this one attn Harry Potter fans

Sister: "Harry's godfathers middle name should be 'Lee'"

Me:"wait, whose the godfather?"

Sister: "Sirius Black"

Took me a minute.

Hey dad, why did you and mom name my sister Rose?

"Because a rose petal fell on her head when she was a baby, dear son," replied the Dad.

"Oh, thanks for telling me Dad!"

"No problem, Toaster Oven."

My sister asked me to help her baby proof her house.

I told her, 'I helped you burglar proof the place last year, that should be enough to keep the babies out, too.'

I asked my parents for a baby brother or sister this Christmas

My dad said he'll see if the baby making machine in his room still works.

 

Mommy has been screaming 'yes' all night so I think it's working


My sister finished her rigorous weight loss plan and lost an incredible 10lbs in one day!

She had a baby

Did you guys hear about the new sister game to club penguin?

Club baby seals

Mum, is it true my baby sister came from Heaven?

Yes, that's right.

Well, I don't blame God for throwing her out.

One day, 4 babies were born at K.K. Hospital:

One day, 4 babies were born at K.K. Hospital: a German, a Jewish, a Filipino and a Singaporean.

However, someone mixed up the babies by mistake, and the nurses couldn't differentiate between them.

However, the head sister had a bright idea. She lined the babies up in front of her and exclaimed, "Heil Hitler!"

At hearing this, the German baby raised his arm in a salute, while the Jewish baby soiled his diapers. In the meantime, the Singaporean baby turned to the Filipino baby and said, "Clean that up!"

What did the baby milk say to his older sister?

You're spoiled!

So, the little boy asks Santa for a baby sister this Xmas and Santa says: "No worries little fella, just send your mother over"

Sorry, Australia...

Overheard my sister talking to my friend when this was said.

Sis: "Do they have bush babies in Australia"?

Friend: "No, but they have plenty of dead babies in the bush".

My newborn baby boy can already juggle, speak full sentences and even ride a bike!

He is infantly better than his sister...

Stan is seconds away from receiving a vasectomy when his brother and sister-in-law barge in holding their newborn baby. "Stop! You can't do this!" exclaims the brother. "And why not?" asks Stan. "Don't you want to have a beautiful baby someday? Like my wife and I have here?" Stan says nothing. The brother grows impatient, "C'mon Stan, I want a nephew. Stan, make me an uncle." Stan canโ€™t take it anymore. He gives his sister-in-law an apologetic look and asks his brother, "You're sure you want a nephew?" "Yes," the brother replies. "It would be an honor." "Well, congratulations, you're holding him."

Children brought up on a farm are often quite precocious.


A nun gave a lecture on the facts of life to the combined classes one day.
She thought the tiny tots would hardly know what her talk was all about so she left them in the classroom.
After a while she noticed little five year old Johnnie whispering with a little four year old Jane and she asked Johnnie what was the meaning of their whispering.
Johnnie stood up and asked, "Please sister, can a woman of four have a baby?"
"Of course not," answered the sister, quite flustered.
Johnnie turned to the little girl beside him and said, "Didnโ€™t I tell you, you had nothing to worry about."

Suzy asked her big sister Samantha how babies are made.


Samantha explains it to her.
"I still don't get it? Can you show me."
Suzy says.
"OK. Tonight, I will let you watch will my boyfriend, Jack and I screw."
That night, Jack laid Samantha 5 times but Suzy still didn't understand.
The next night Jack was tired of Suzy watching so he offered to have sex with her.
"OK but I don't want Samantha to watch"
So Samantha went outside.
They are in there for almost an hour and when they come out Jack is smiling like crazy.
"That was fun but I still don't get it."
Says Suzy
The next day the same thing happened.
And the next day.
Finally 2 weeks later Samantha comes home crying.
"Whats wrong," Suzy says.
"Jack dumped me. He said there was someone better."
Said Samantha.
"Let's go talk to him maybe we can change his mind," said Suzy.
When they got there Jack said he made up his mind and there was nothing they could do to change it.
Then he asked to speak to Suzy privately.
He pulled off all of Suzy's clothes and started to screw her.
"OK," Jack said kissing Suzy's neck "I broke up with Samantha now tell me how you got to be so good in bed."
"Fine." She replied, "I asked all my other sisters how babies are made."

Three sisters decided to get married on the same day to save their parents the expense of separate weddings.
As a further step to reduce the price tag, the three sisters resolved to spend their honeymoon night at home.
Later that night, their mother couldnโ€™t sleep, so she went to the kitchen for a cup of tea.
On her way, she tiptoed by her oldest daughterโ€™s bedroom and heard her screaming.
The mother thought to herself, โ€œThatโ€™s normal, especially on her wedding night.โ€
She snuck by her second oldest daughterโ€™s room and heard her laughing.
โ€œThatโ€™s normal too,โ€ she said, smiling to herself.
Finally, she slipped by her youngest daughterโ€™s room where she didnโ€™t hear a peep, but she thought nothing of it.
The next morning in the kitchen, after the husbands had gone out, the woman asked her eldest daughter about last nightโ€™s noises.
โ€œWell Mom,โ€ she replied, โ€œyou always said if it hurt I should scream.โ€
โ€œYouโ€™re absolutely right sweetheart,
โ€the mother assured her, turning to her middle daughter.
โ€œNow why were you laughing?โ€ she asked.
โ€œYou always said if it tickled, I could laugh,โ€ she answered.
โ€œTrue enough, honey.โ€ The mother smiled, remembering her newlywed days.
โ€œNow itโ€™s your turn, baby,โ€ she said turning to her youngest daughter.
โ€œWhy was it so quiet in your room last night?โ€
โ€œMom, donโ€™t you remember? You always told me never to talk with my mouth full.โ€

Stan is seconds away from receiving a vasectomy when his brother and sister-in-law barge in holding their newborn baby. "Stop! You can't do this!" exclaims the brother. "And why not?" asks Stan. "Don't you want to have a beautiful baby someday? Like my wife and I have here?" Stan says nothing. The brother grows impatient, "C'mon Stan, I want a nephew. Stan, make me an uncle." Stan canโ€™t take it anymore. He gives his sister-in-law an apologetic look and asks his brother, "You're sure you want a nephew?" "Yes," the brother replies. "It would be an honor." "Well, congratulations, you're holding him."

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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