Baby Naming Jokes
122 baby naming jokes and hilarious baby naming puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about baby naming that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Baby Naming Short Jokes
Short baby naming jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The baby naming humour may include short baby name jokes also.
- Make fun of Kim Kardashians baby name choice for 'North West' if you want... But that child is going straight to the top...
And slightly to the left... - So much has changed since my girlfriend told me we're having a baby... My name, address and telephone number.
-
Kate Middleton has said if she has a boy she will call him by the most popular British boy's name at the moment. We look forward to the arrival of baby Mohammed. - Everyone is going crazy over that Kim and Kanye named their baby "North West" I believe she's going straight to the top... And slightly to the left
- I told my pregnant wife that everything is going to change after this baby is born. Like my name, address, phone number.
- So much has changed since my girlfriend told me we were having a baby For instance, my name, address, telephone number..
- Having a baby So much has changed since my girlfriend told me we were having a baby. For instance: my name, my address. telephone number.
- My girlfriend asked me what my favourite baby name is. Apparently "Not Yet" isn't a suitable suggestion.
- Baby sister told me this one attn Harry Potter fans Sister: "Harry's godfathers middle name should be 'Lee'"
Me:"wait, whose the godfather?"
Sister: "Sirius Black"
Took me a minute. - So much has changed since my girlfriend told me we're having a baby. So much has changed since my girlfriend told me we're having a baby. For instance my name, address and telephone number!
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Baby Naming One Liners
Which baby naming one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with baby naming? I can suggest the ones about baby birth and baby delivery.
- Mr and Mrs Lee unexpectedly had their baby early So they named him SUDDEN LEE
- Tip: Call your baby a normal name Me: Are you still mad your parents called you tip?
- A Chinese baby was born way too early.. So, his parents named him Sudden Lee.
- What do you name an Irish baby that bounces when you throw it at a wall? Rick O'Shea
- A chinese baby was born before due date His parents named him Earl Lee
- What did the lawyer name his baby? Sue
- A Canadian and a Saudi Arabian had a baby... They named it Yasir Youbetcha
- What would be a good backup name for a baby boy? Justin Case
- Shania Twain just had a baby boy She named him Choo Choo
- Hey baby, is your name Polio? Because I am stiff below the waist
- A Chinese couple have a black baby. They name him Sum Ting Wong.
- What's a good backup name to have for a baby? Justin Case.
- What do you name a baby with no arms or legs? Mat.
- A cantaloupe and a honeydew got married and had a baby girl. They named her Melanie.
- Our car delivered a baby boy, we named the baby Ben. Ben Carson.
Baby Naming Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about baby naming you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean baby making jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make baby naming pranks.
There once was a baby born with no arms. His parents put him on the church's stairs and vanished.
The local priest took him in and raised him, eventually giving him the job of ringing the bell for evening mass. So, each day, the child lined up from across the room and ran as fast as he could to hit the bell with his head.
One day, the priest ate a banana and left the peel lying by the bell. As the child was running running running, he slipped on the banana peel and fell out the window to his death. When the cops came to investigate, the asked the priest for the child's name.
The priest said I don't know his name, but his face rings a bell.
A couple of friends are catching up after years apart.
"So I hear you've recently had a baby boy!" Gushes Edna.
"We did!" Responds Amy.
"Have you decided on a name yet?"
"Funny story: with our first, Denise, my husband's brother wanted to name her. The name stuck, so when he asked again, we figured he'd pick another good one."
"That's adorable! What'd he pick!"
Amy sighed. "Denephew."
What did Lady Gaga name her baby?
Googoogaga
A Native American boy goes up to his father and asks him how they are given their names...
"Father, how are our names chosen?"
"Well, when a baby is born, the father walks out of the tent, and the first thing he sees, he names his new son.
If he sees a bird flying, he names 'flying bird'. A deer jumping? 'Jumping Deer'.
So tell me, young Sheep-a-Shittin', why do you ask?"
In and Out
(Part joke and part tongue-twister - lots of fun to tell out loud.)
Once upon a time, a mama skunk had twin baby skunks, who she named In and Out.
One day when they were just wee skunks, In and Out went out to play. At lunchtime, Mama Skunk poked her head out and called out, "In and Out, it's time to come in!"
After a few minutes, Out comes in. Mama looks at him and says, "Out, where is In? I just told you both to come in!"
Out says, "In is still out." So Mama tells him "Well Out, you go right back out, find In, and bring him in!" So Out goes out, and within just a minute he comes back in with In.
Mama Skunk is amazed. She says, "Out, how on earth did you find In so quickly?"
Out shrugs and says, "Instinks."
At least he won't annoy his co-workers every week.
What did the mother and father camel name their baby born without a h**...?
Humphrey!
How do Asians name their babies?
They throw a drawer of silverware down the stairs and name it whatever sound it makes.
A man had 3 daughters.
A man had 3 daughters.
The first daughter walks up to her dad and says "Daddy, why is my name Rose?"
"Because a rose petal fell on you when you were a baby." Replied the father. The first daughter smiles and skips off to play with her dolls.
The second daughter walks up to her dad and says "Daddy, why is my name Tulip?"
"Because a Tulip petal fell on you when you were a baby." Replied the father. The second daughter smiles and skips off to play with her dolls.
The third daughter walks up to her dad and says "Hhhhhnnngngngnggggddddddrrrrruhuuhuhhuhhuhdadgh!"
"...Go to your room cinderblock." Replied the father.
A Pregnant women gets in a car wreck....
...and fell into a coma. When she awoke a few days later, she noticed that she wasn't carrying a child, and asked the doctor, "Doctor, what happened to my baby!?"
The doctor replies, "It's all okay. You gave birth to beautiful twins, a boy and a girl. But we needed someone to name them, so your brother came in and gave them their names."
The woman is surprised. "No, not my brother! He's not the smartest guy in the world."
"Well ma'am, he named your daughter Denise," the doctor said.
"Oh, that's not too bad. What's the boy's name?"
"Denephew."
A Chinese couple named Mr. and Mrs. Wong went to the hospital to have a baby...
Mrs. Wong had the baby soon after they arrived, and after they got to see their child, a nurse took it away for medical examinations. When she returned, she was carrying a white baby, not an Asian one. Mr. Wong was surprised and a little annoyed at the mistake and curtly told the nurse to go back and get their actual baby. The nurse insisted that it was the correct child, but Mr. Wong was positive that a mistake had been made, because, as he put it, "Two Wongs don't make a white."
A little boy asks his mother; why is my name Feather?
When you where a little baby a feather dropped on your head. The next day her other son walks up to her and asks: 'Mom, Why is my name Leaf?' 'That is because when you where a little baby a leaf fell on your head.' The next morning her last son walks up to his mother and asks: 'aaiaiijhhh jaijahhhuuhhghhhhhh nnggh?' 'Shut up, Fridge.'
A 3 months pregnant woman falls into a coma...
6 months later she awakes and she asks her doctor about her babies. And he replies
"Oh you had happy healthy twins. One boy, and one girl. Luckily your brother was here to name then"
"Oh god no" says the woman "my brothers an idiot. What are their names"
"The girls name is denise" says the doctor
"Oh thats not to bad, and the boy?"
"Denephew"
A little Native American boy...
...went to his father to ask how little Native American babies get their name.
"Son, when your oldest brother was born we looked out the teepee and we saw two fighting bears, so we named him Fighting Bear"
"When your other brother was born we looked out and saw a running deer, so we named him Running Deer"
"Why do you ask p**... Dog?"
PETA sponsored a new hot spot to get money from partying rich and famous animal lovers.
It closed after one week. Apparently "Club Baby Seals" wasn't a good name for it.
Pronounced 'Dead' on arrival ... oops!
The soon to be new parents known as Mr. & Mrs. D. were so excited, as they were just about to give birth to their brand new daughter, whom they'd already decided to name Dea D..
Just a few minutes later, a healthy baby girl popped out but was unfortunately pronounced 'Dead' on arrival by the attending nurse who apparently had significant issues with letter spacing on medical charts.
But my baby boy
My wife and I recently had a baby. We named him Butter. We take our little baby boy back home and realize it's actually a girl named Margarine. We were both shocked... I can't believe it's not Butter.
There was a mother who had three daughters...
...one day the first daughter walks up and asks,
"Mommy, why am I named Rose?"
"Well, when you were a baby, a rose petal fell on your head."
She walks away. Then the second walks up and says,
"Mommy, why am I named Daisy?"
"Well, when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell on your head."
She walks away. Then third walks up and says,
"DURRUGFLARGLERDAAARGGGH!!!"
"It's ok Cinderblock. I still love you."
Coma Pregnancy
A woman is in an accident while she's pregnant. While in a coma she has twins, a boy & a girl.
When she woke up she asked the doctor where her baby was. The doctor said she had twins but her brother named them.
She replied,My brother is an idiot I wonder what names he gave them. Anyway what did he name the girl?
"Denise", replied the doctor. That's not so bad.What about the boy?, she asked. "Denephew"
So, a one-h**... camel marries a two-h**... camel, and they have a baby, but the baby didn't have a h**....
So they named him Humphrey.
There were three sisters
One named Lilly, one named Rose, and the other named Cinderblock. One day Lilly went to their mother and asked, "Mom, why did you name me Lilly?"
"Well, when you were a baby, a lilly petal fell on your head," mother replied.
So then Rose went to her mother and asked, "Mom, why did you name me Rose?"
"Because when you were a baby, a rose petal fell on your head," mother replied.
So then Cinderblock went to her mother and asked, "der der duh der duh"
There were two sisters
There were two sisters named Petal and Fridge.
One day Petal was curious and asked her father, "Why was I named Petal?"
His response was, "Well, when you were a baby a flower petal fell on you."
Then Fridge says, "BLARGHHHALHGLAHG".
A boy goes up to a girl and says "hey baby what's up"...
She says "I have a boyfriend", he says "I have a math test".
The girl says "What's that got to do with anything?", he replies "I thought we were just naming things we are going to cheat on."
A woman who is 3 months pregnant falls into a deep coma. 6 months later, she wakes up and asks the doctor about her baby.
Doctor: You had twins, a girl and a boy. Fortunately, your brother was there to name them for you.
Woman: Oh no, not my brother! He's an idiot! What did he name the girl?
Doctor: Denise.
Woman: Well, that isn't so bad. What did he name the boy?
Doctor: Denephew.
A woman passes out while giving birth to her twins leaving her immature, witty brother to name them.
She wakes up and immediately asks her brother what he named her new born girl. He replies,"Denise". Surprised she says,"That's a beautiful name, what about my baby boy"? He responds with a grin from ear to ear, "Denephew".
Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a r**... baby?
They named him Sum Ting Wong.
*(I'm sorry)*
A mother has two daughters and a son.
A mother has two daughters and a son. One day her first daughter comes up to her and says: "Mother, why am I named Rose?", to which she replies: "That's because when you were a baby a rose landed on your head".
Her second daughter later comes up to her and says: "Mother, why am I called Petal?", to which she answers: "That's because when you were a baby a petal landed on your head".
Finally, her son approaches her and says: "BLUH NAH BUH BUH BLUH", and the mother says: "Shut up, Fridge".
A woman wakes up from a coma and...
A 4-months-pregnant woman falls into a deep coma. 5 months later she wakes up and asks the doctor about her baby.
Doctor: You had twins, a boy and a girl, and they are perfectly fine. Luckily your brother named them for you.
Woman: Oh no not my brother! He's an idiot. What did he name the my daughter?
Doctor: Denise
Woman: Oh that's not that bad. What did he name my son?
Doctor: Denephew
When I found out my girlfriend was having a baby my life really changed.
specifically my name, address and phone number.
My Dad and I were talking this morning about my brother's newborn baby...
Dad: I think the nurse will take out the plastic thingy from the baby's arm today.
Me: IV?
Dad: I think her name is Brenda, actually.
The eldest of three siblings comes up to his mother and asks: "Mommy, mommy, why is my name Leaf?"
"Well, honey," the mother says, "it's because when you were a little baby, a leaf landed on your head."
Satisfied, the child goes away.
Later, the middle child tugs at her mother's hand. "Mommy, mommy, why is my name Feather?"
"Well, darling," the mother says, "it's because when you were a little baby, a feather floated down and landed on your head."
The little girl smiles and goes on her way.
A few moments later the youngest child runs into the room and says: "WARGLBARGLAAHRGLB?"
The mother says: "Shut up, Refrigerator."
A woman who has just given birth has fallen into a coma.
After 7 months the mother finally awakes and asks the doctor about her baby.
Doctor: Good news, you had twins! a boy and a girl. They are healthy, luckily your brother named them for you.
Mother: Oh no, not my brother! he's so s**...! What did he name my daughter?
Doctor: Denise.
Mother: well that isn't so bad, and what did he name my son?
Doctor: Denephew.
A father with three daughters
is sitting down for dinner when the first of his daughters asks, "dad why is my name Daisy?". The father replies, "because when you were born a daisy petal from the sky and landed on your head."
The second daughter asks, "dad why is my name Rose?" The father replies, "Well Rose, when you were a baby a rose petal fell from on high and landed on your head."
The third daughter asks, "bllaaarrarararraraaarg" and the father replies, "shut up, cinder-block"
my wife got mad at me after picking out baby names...
she like it for the first week then it clicked for her... i said Peter Brian Johnson for a baby boy and Veronica Jessica Johnson for a baby girl...
Baby metamorphosis
I feel like nobody names their baby Craig. One day, around age 35, the baby just becomes Craig.
that is all
"And this baby is our granddaughter. Her name is Degree."
"I'm sorry, did you say Deborah?"
"No, no. Degree. Our daughter left for University and came back with this. It's her Degree."
A man's daughter walks up and asks
"Daddy, why am I named Rose?"
"Well, when you were a baby, a rose petal fell on your head."
She walks away. His second daughter walks up and says,
"Daddy, why am I named Daisy?"
"Well, when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell on your head."
She walks away.
Then the father's third daughter walks up and says:
"DDDDDDUUUUUURRRRRGGGGHHHHHHH!!!"
"Shut up, Cinderblock."
It's weird that they call it a baby shower.
A more accurate name would be a supplies party.
Ladies, name your baby "Gotham"
So when it cries in the middle of the night, you can tell your husband, "Gotham needs you"
"Dad, why did you name me Rain?"
Dad: "Because rain was the first thing that fell on you"
Rain: "Oh, I never knew that. Is that why my sister is named Snow as well?"
Dad: "Yes, you are absolutely right"
*a baby cries in the corner*
Dad: Shut up Brick!
Kim and Kanye expecting another baby....
say they will name it something normal.
Congratulations, Something Normal West.
Right after the Baby was born, the Midwife asked me:
"Do you have a name yet?"
I said "Yes, it's Eli"
She said "Aww... That's a lovely name!"
"Thank you!" I said "-But what do you think we should call the baby?"
A lizard walks into the bar...
A lizard walks into a bar pushing a baby in a stroller. What's your kid's name? asks the bartender. Tiny, says the lizard. Because he's my newt.
Dating these days
Boy: Hi
Girl: What?
Boy: How are you?
Girl: Do I know you?
Boy: I'm Rich..
Girl: Oh! Hi. My name is Mary but you can call me "Baby" I'm 19 & I am very submissive. I love short men, especially like you & I'm glad to meet you. So, when are we going out?
Boy: No, no, no "Rich" is my name
Girl: Sorry I don't talk to strangers
A homeless man adopted a Chinese baby
And named him Spare Chang
I just made love to my girlfriend
She asked, "If I get pregnant, what should we name the baby?"
I took off my c**..., tied a knot, and flushed it down the toilet.
"Well" I said, "If he can get out of that, we'll call him Houdini".
Kylie Jenner just named her newborn baby daughter Stormi
I think the Kardashian family is trying to have a weather forecast for her kids, because it's going to be Stormi in North West Chicago with a chance of Reign.
Hey dad, why did you and mom name my sister Rose?
"Because a rose petal fell on her head when she was a baby, dear son," replied the Dad.
"Oh, thanks for telling me Dad!"
"No problem, Toaster Oven."
Why did the mother name her p**... baby after her husband?
He also came too soon.
Having a baby girl? You should name her Artica.
It's awesome because all her nieces and nephews will have an Aunt Artica.
A girl asked her dad "Why is my name Rose?"
Her dad said "Because when you were a baby, a rose petal fell to your forehead"
The girl's sister asked the same. "Daddy, why is my name Lily?"
"As a baby, the petal of a lily flower fell on your head."
The youngest daughter then approached.
"AUUGHMMGRNMMM"
"Shut up, Cinderblock." The dad said.
I wanted to name our newborn after my father
but my wife said Dad is a weird name for a baby.
After my wife had given birth to our baby, the nurse asked me, "Do you have a name yet?" I replied proudly, "Yes, Steve!" She squealed, "Awww! That's a lovely name!"
"Thanks!" I said. "But what do you think we should call the baby!?"
Why is my name daisy..
A baby cow asks her mother why is my name daisy? The mother says Because when you were born a daisy landed on your head. Another baby cow asks why is my name rose? The mother than says again, because when you were born a rose fell on your head. Than you hear DURDUHUEIJWJAI. ..mother cow- shut up brick
Children's names
A mother and her children were talking. Mom, why is my name rose? said Rose.
Mom replied when you were a baby, a rose petal fell on your head, so we named you Rose.
Why am I called Poppy? said another child.
Because when you were a baby, a Poppy petal fell on your head, so we called you Poppy, answered mom.
Then she heard a noise.
Nnnnngrahhlllaaarrrr
Oh be quiet, Refrigerator, mom shouted to her third child.
There was a guy who was terrible at naming thing ...
His dog was named dog, his cat was named cat and so on. One day, the man's sister was having twins and in a long family tradition, the babies uncle had to chose the names. Absolutely mortified, the twin girl and boy were born and it was time;
What did you choose for the girl?
Denise
Oh man, that's not so bad. What did you choose for the boy?
Denephew
Pulling back the f**... should have a better name
Unsheathing the baby maker, for example
My wife and I are expecting a baby, and we want to give it a unique name that no one would ever think to use.
We're leaning towards "Bixby" if it's a boy, and "Cortana" if it's a girl
Ernie's baby
My friend Ernest III had his first born, a little boy. But it was born out of wedlock, so he named it "insincere".
If Baby Groot was sent to Winnie the Pooh's universe, what would his new name be?
Twiglet.
Offensive warning
An English man, a Welsh man and a Pakistani man are waiting at a hospital as their wives had just given birth. A midwife comes in and explains that the name tags have been messed up and they will have to work out which baby belongs to who. The English man, by right, goes first and chooses what is clearly the Pakistani child. When the baby's father points this out to him, he says I know, but there's a Welsh kid in there and I'm not taking any chances
A woman who is a month pregnant falls into a deep coma. Three months after giving birth, she awakes and asks the doctor about her baby...
Doctor: Well, I have good news and bad news for you. Which would you like to hear first?
Woman: Of course, the good news.
Doctor: You had twins, both girls, and they're both fine. Luckily, your brother was here to name them.
Woman: Oh, that drummer... What did he name the girls?
Doctor: Anna 1, Anna 2
4 men sit anxiously outside the maternity unit ...
... as they await news on their wives' who are having babies
The English one says, "My first son was born on St George's Day, so I named him George."
The Scotsman added, "My first son was born on St Andrew's Day, and I decided to name him Andrew."
The Welshman said, "My boy was born on St David's Day, and I just had to call him David!"
The Irishman spoke up, "Ah, sure, it was just the same with our Pancake!"
A baby cow walks up to a mom cow and says
"Mommy,why is my name rose",the mom says "because when you were born a rose petal fell on your head".a 2nd cow asks "why is my name lily?" the mom says "because a Lilly fell on your head when you were born".a third cow comes over and says "dur glu fo dur.".the mom then says "shut up cinder block!"
My wife always wanted a son with a foreign sounding name.
So, after she
gave birth she decided on Mark but
with a C.
I just went now to register his name!
l am so excited on my way home to see
little baby Cark!
Normal people use their children's names to set their email passwords.
Elon Musk uses his email password to name his baby.