Baby Name Jokes
141 baby name jokes and hilarious baby name puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about baby name that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Baby Name Short Jokes
Short baby name jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The baby name humour may include short kid named jokes also.
- Make fun of Kim Kardashians baby name choice for 'North West' if you want... But that child is going straight to the top...
And slightly to the left... -
Kate Middleton has said if she has a boy she will call him by the most popular British boy's name at the moment. We look forward to the arrival of baby Mohammed. - I told my pregnant wife that everything is going to change after this baby is born. Like my name, address, phone number.
- My girlfriend asked me what my favourite baby name is. Apparently "Not Yet" isn't a suitable suggestion.
- Baby sister told me this one attn Harry Potter fans Sister: "Harry's godfathers middle name should be 'Lee'"
Me:"wait, whose the godfather?"
Sister: "Sirius Black"
Took me a minute. - "And this baby is our granddaughter. Her name is Degree." "I'm sorry, did you say Deborah?"
"No, no. Degree. Our daughter left for University and came back with this. It's her Degree." - I wanted to name our newborn after my father but my wife said Dad is a weird name for a baby.
- Normal people use their children's names to set their email passwords. Elon Musk uses his email password to name his baby.
- If Baby Groot was sent to Winnie the Pooh's universe, what would his new name be? Twiglet.
- Having a baby girl? You should name her Artica. It's awesome because all her nieces and nephews will have an Aunt Artica.
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Baby Name One Liners
Which baby name one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with baby name? I can suggest the ones about baby born and baby boy.
- Mr and Mrs Lee unexpectedly had their baby early So they named him SUDDEN LEE
- Tip: Call your baby a normal name Me: Are you still mad your parents called you tip?
- A chinese baby was born before due date His parents named him Earl Lee
- What did the lawyer name his baby? Sue
- A Canadian and a Saudi Arabian had a baby... They named it Yasir Youbetcha
- What would be a good backup name for a baby boy? Justin Case
- Shania Twain just had a baby boy She named him Choo Choo
- Hey baby, is your name Polio? Because I am stiff below the waist
- A Chinese couple have a black baby. They name him Sum Ting Wong.
- A cantaloupe and a honeydew got married and had a baby girl. They named her Melanie.
- Our car delivered a baby boy, we named the baby Ben. Ben Carson.
- What did Lady Gaga name her baby? Googoogaga
- Royal baby name finally revealed What sort of name is "finally revealed"?
- A homeless man adopted a Chinese baby And named him Spare Chang
- What did Fonzie name his new baby? Ayyyyden
Ridiculous Baby Name Jokes to Spark Fun and Laughter
What funny jokes about baby name you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean baby picture jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make baby name pranks.
When a woman found out that she was pregnant, she lit up the phone lines telling everyone the good news.
One day later that week, she took her 4 year old son, Sam, out shopping.
A woman asked the boy if he was excited about the baby.
"Yes", he said. "I know what we're going to name it.
If it is a girl, we're calling her Molly and if it is a boy, we're going to call it quits.
Drake Bell: In honor of Kim and Kanye's baby "North West" I will be naming my first son "Taco".
Kim and Kanye naming their baby North West is just like Brad Pitt naming his kid Arm.
Goku and Superman once had a baby his name is Chuck Norris.
The best thing about trying to name a baby is realizing how many people you hate.
A lady tells the nurse at a maternity hospital, "I want to call my little baby Ellie."
Nurse replies, "I'm sorry, but that name is already taken, perhaps you can consider naming her Ellie532 or Ellie_153?"
There once was a baby born with no arms. His parents put him on the church's stairs and vanished.
The local priest took him in and raised him, eventually giving him the job of ringing the bell for evening mass. So, each day, the child lined up from across the room and ran as fast as he could to hit the bell with his head.
One day, the priest ate a banana and left the peel lying by the bell. As the child was running running running, he slipped on the banana peel and fell out the window to his death. When the cops came to investigate, the asked the priest for the child's name.
The priest said I don't know his name, but his face rings a bell.
A couple of friends are catching up after years apart.
"So I hear you've recently had a baby boy!" Gushes Edna.
"We did!" Responds Amy.
"Have you decided on a name yet?"
"Funny story: with our first, Denise, my husband's brother wanted to name her. The name stuck, so when he asked again, we figured he'd pick another good one."
"That's adorable! What'd he pick!"
Amy sighed. "Denephew."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An Irish woman is 3 months pregnant...
She gets into a car accident and falls into a coma.
After nearly six months, she wakes up to find that she is no longer pregnant.
Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby.
The doctor replies, "You had twins! A boy and a girl. The babies are grand. Luckily your brother named them!"
"Oh no, not my brother, he's a feckin eejit!" she says.
She asks the doctor, "Well, what's the girl's name?"
"Denise," the doctor says.
"That's not so bad, what's the boy's name?" she asks the doctor.
"Denephew."
A Native American boy goes up to his father and asks him how they are given their names...
"Father, how are our names chosen?"
"Well, when a baby is born, the father walks out of the tent, and the first thing he sees, he names his new son.
If he sees a bird flying, he names 'flying bird'. A deer jumping? 'Jumping Deer'.
So tell me, young Sheep-a-Shittin', why do you ask?"
In and Out
(Part joke and part tongue-twister - lots of fun to tell out loud.)
Once upon a time, a mama skunk had twin baby skunks, who she named In and Out.
One day when they were just wee skunks, In and Out went out to play. At lunchtime, Mama Skunk poked her head out and called out, "In and Out, it's time to come in!"
After a few minutes, Out comes in. Mama looks at him and says, "Out, where is In? I just told you both to come in!"
Out says, "In is still out." So Mama tells him "Well Out, you go right back out, find In, and bring him in!" So Out goes out, and within just a minute he comes back in with In.
Mama Skunk is amazed. She says, "Out, how on earth did you find In so quickly?"
Out shrugs and says, "Instinks."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
At least he won't annoy his co-workers every week.
What did the mother and father camel name their baby born without a h**...?
Humphrey!
A man had 3 daughters.
A man had 3 daughters.
The first daughter walks up to her dad and says "Daddy, why is my name Rose?"
"Because a rose petal fell on you when you were a baby." Replied the father. The first daughter smiles and skips off to play with her dolls.
The second daughter walks up to her dad and says "Daddy, why is my name Tulip?"
"Because a Tulip petal fell on you when you were a baby." Replied the father. The second daughter smiles and skips off to play with her dolls.
The third daughter walks up to her dad and says "Hhhhhnnngngngnggggddddddrrrrruhuuhuhhuhhuhdadgh!"
"...Go to your room cinderblock." Replied the father.
A Pregnant women gets in a car wreck....
...and fell into a coma. When she awoke a few days later, she noticed that she wasn't carrying a child, and asked the doctor, "Doctor, what happened to my baby!?"
The doctor replies, "It's all okay. You gave birth to beautiful twins, a boy and a girl. But we needed someone to name them, so your brother came in and gave them their names."
The woman is surprised. "No, not my brother! He's not the smartest guy in the world."
"Well ma'am, he named your daughter Denise," the doctor said.
"Oh, that's not too bad. What's the boy's name?"
"Denephew."
A dystopian future
Mr. and Mrs. Thyme are two people living in a dystopian future where babies are assigned a random combination of letters and numbers for a name, such as DL-6 or UR-1. However, due to a large amount of protesters, the law has been changed so that parents can choose their own name if they run to the city hall to change the name in 30 minutes after the baby is born.
Mrs. Thyme was pregnant, and her water had broken that morning. However Mr. Thyme had to work for the day, and he had an important meeting that he couldn't miss. He arrived at the hospital 15 minutes after the birth, and Mrs. Thyme said "Hello, dear! Isn't our baby precious?" Mr. Thyme nodded in approval. He suddenly remembered the law, and exclaimed "I have to go to the city hall!" and ran off.
20 minutes later, Mr. Thyme came back. "Did you name our son?" Mrs. Thyme asked. "Yes," Mr. Thyme responded, "Justin Thyme."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Chinese couple named Mr. and Mrs. Wong went to the hospital to have a baby...
Mrs. Wong had the baby soon after they arrived, and after they got to see their child, a nurse took it away for medical examinations. When she returned, she was carrying a white baby, not an Asian one. Mr. Wong was surprised and a little annoyed at the mistake and curtly told the nurse to go back and get their actual baby. The nurse insisted that it was the correct child, but Mr. Wong was positive that a mistake had been made, because, as he put it, "Two Wongs don't make a white."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A little boy asks his mother; why is my name Feather?
When you where a little baby a feather dropped on your head. The next day her other son walks up to her and asks: 'Mom, Why is my name Leaf?' 'That is because when you where a little baby a leaf fell on your head.' The next morning her last son walks up to his mother and asks: 'aaiaiijhhh jaijahhhuuhhghhhhhh nnggh?' 'Shut up, Fridge.'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A 3 months pregnant woman falls into a coma...
6 months later she awakes and she asks her doctor about her babies. And he replies
"Oh you had happy healthy twins. One boy, and one girl. Luckily your brother was here to name then"
"Oh god no" says the woman "my brothers an idiot. What are their names"
"The girls name is denise" says the doctor
"Oh thats not to bad, and the boy?"
"Denephew"
A chinese couple moves to Africa
and the woman soon becomes pregnant. 9 months later, the woman gives birth to a half African and half Chinese baby. The man names the baby Sum Ting Wong.
PETA sponsored a new hot spot to get money from partying rich and famous animal lovers.
It closed after one week. Apparently "Club Baby Seals" wasn't a good name for it.
Pronounced 'Dead' on arrival ... oops!
The soon to be new parents known as Mr. & Mrs. D. were so excited, as they were just about to give birth to their brand new daughter, whom they'd already decided to name Dea D..
Just a few minutes later, a healthy baby girl popped out but was unfortunately pronounced 'Dead' on arrival by the attending nurse who apparently had significant issues with letter spacing on medical charts.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A baby
A women is in the final stages of giving birth, and with one last push she hears the babies cries as the doctor holds it in his arms out of view. The doctor tells her there's a problem and rushes the baby out of the room. After 5 or 10 minutes the women is hysterical with worry for her child. The doctor eventually comes back and stands at the bottom of her bed an says
"Well, There's good new and bad news."
The women, now very worried asks for the bad news first
"Unfortunately, your baby is ginger."
Offended and somewhat relived the women begins a tirade of a**... aimed at the doctor, calling every name under the sun. After 30 seconds of a**... she remembers the good news, and promptly asks him for it.
"It's dead."
But my baby boy
My wife and I recently had a baby. We named him Butter. We take our little baby boy back home and realize it's actually a girl named Margarine. We were both shocked... I can't believe it's not Butter.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
There was a mother who had three daughters...
...one day the first daughter walks up and asks,
"Mommy, why am I named Rose?"
"Well, when you were a baby, a rose petal fell on your head."
She walks away. Then the second walks up and says,
"Mommy, why am I named Daisy?"
"Well, when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell on your head."
She walks away. Then third walks up and says,
"DURRUGFLARGLERDAAARGGGH!!!"
"It's ok Cinderblock. I still love you."
Coma Pregnancy
A woman is in an accident while she's pregnant. While in a coma she has twins, a boy & a girl.
When she woke up she asked the doctor where her baby was. The doctor said she had twins but her brother named them.
She replied,My brother is an idiot I wonder what names he gave them. Anyway what did he name the girl?
"Denise", replied the doctor. That's not so bad.What about the boy?, she asked. "Denephew"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did the asian couple name their black baby?
Sum sing wong
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So, a one-h**... camel marries a two-h**... camel, and they have a baby, but the baby didn't have a h**....
So they named him Humphrey.
A boy goes up to a girl and says "hey baby what's up"...
She says "I have a boyfriend", he says "I have a math test".
The girl says "What's that got to do with anything?", he replies "I thought we were just naming things we are going to cheat on."
If Bill O'Reilly and Barbara Walters got married what would they name the baby?
Baba O'Reilly
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Didja hear about this Calcutta couple who had a little baby girl looked just like a frog?
They named her Polly-w**....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A woman who is 3 months pregnant falls into a deep coma. 6 months later, she wakes up and asks the doctor about her baby.
Doctor: You had twins, a girl and a boy. Fortunately, your brother was there to name them for you.
Woman: Oh no, not my brother! He's an idiot! What did he name the girl?
Doctor: Denise.
Woman: Well, that isn't so bad. What did he name the boy?
Doctor: Denephew.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a r**... baby?
They named him Sum Ting Wong.
*(I'm sorry)*
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A mother has two daughters and a son.
A mother has two daughters and a son. One day her first daughter comes up to her and says: "Mother, why am I named Rose?", to which she replies: "That's because when you were a baby a rose landed on your head".
Her second daughter later comes up to her and says: "Mother, why am I called Petal?", to which she answers: "That's because when you were a baby a petal landed on your head".
Finally, her son approaches her and says: "BLUH NAH BUH BUH BLUH", and the mother says: "Shut up, Fridge".
The Rock just announced he's having a baby girl...
I bet he names her Marble.
Mr. and Mrs. Leven just got a baby
And they decide to name the girl Nina. Turns out, Nina Leven is offensive to some people.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A woman wakes up from a coma and...
A 4-months-pregnant woman falls into a deep coma. 5 months later she wakes up and asks the doctor about her baby.
Doctor: You had twins, a boy and a girl, and they are perfectly fine. Luckily your brother named them for you.
Woman: Oh no not my brother! He's an idiot. What did he name the my daughter?
Doctor: Denise
Woman: Oh that's not that bad. What did he name my son?
Doctor: Denephew
My Dad and I were talking this morning about my brother's newborn baby...
Dad: I think the nurse will take out the plastic thingy from the baby's arm today.
Me: IV?
Dad: I think her name is Brenda, actually.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The eldest of three siblings comes up to his mother and asks: "Mommy, mommy, why is my name Leaf?"
"Well, honey," the mother says, "it's because when you were a little baby, a leaf landed on your head."
Satisfied, the child goes away.
Later, the middle child tugs at her mother's hand. "Mommy, mommy, why is my name Feather?"
"Well, darling," the mother says, "it's because when you were a little baby, a feather floated down and landed on your head."
The little girl smiles and goes on her way.
A few moments later the youngest child runs into the room and says: "WARGLBARGLAAHRGLB?"
The mother says: "Shut up, Refrigerator."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A father with three daughters
is sitting down for dinner when the first of his daughters asks, "dad why is my name Daisy?". The father replies, "because when you were born a daisy petal from the sky and landed on your head."
The second daughter asks, "dad why is my name Rose?" The father replies, "Well Rose, when you were a baby a rose petal fell from on high and landed on your head."
The third daughter asks, "bllaaarrarararraraaarg" and the father replies, "shut up, cinder-block"
my wife got mad at me after picking out baby names...
she like it for the first week then it clicked for her... i said Peter Brian Johnson for a baby boy and Veronica Jessica Johnson for a baby girl...
Kim Jong Un has given birth to a baby boy...
His name is Kim Jong Dos
Baby metamorphosis
I feel like nobody names their baby Craig. One day, around age 35, the baby just becomes Craig.
that is all
They should name April the Giraffe's baby "United"...
...you know, for dragging the birth out.
It's weird that they call it a baby shower.
A more accurate name would be a supplies party.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
"How do we get our names?"
There was once a young Native American boy talking to his father.
"How do we get our names, dad?" The boy asked.
"Well, son," the boy's father replied, "after a baby is born we go out of the teepee and name the child after the first thing we see. This is why your great grandfather was Soaring Eagle, your grandfather is Running Elk, and I am Hopping Grasshopper."
The boy nodded, but still looked as though he was confused.
The boy's dad then asks, "Why do you ask, Two Dogs F*cking?"
A Chinese couple had their first baby
They named him "Firstly"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
"Dad, why did you name me Rain?"
Dad: "Because rain was the first thing that fell on you"
Rain: "Oh, I never knew that. Is that why my sister is named Snow as well?"
Dad: "Yes, you are absolutely right"
*a baby cries in the corner*
Dad: Shut up Brick!
Heard this from a waiter at dinner tonight.
Hey baby, my name is Olaf...like the snowman. Mind if I melt inside you?
Five star restaurant I am laughing out loud right now hahaj
Kim and Kanye expecting another baby....
say they will name it something normal.
Congratulations, Something Normal West.
Three men, a Republican, a Brit and a Jamaican
all in the maternity ward waiting for their partners to give birth. The midwife comes out and tells them congratulations, they're all fathers of beautiful healthy boys, however, unfortunately they've run out of the name tags, and the babies have been mixed up, so if they could each go in and identify their sons from any family resemblance etc. The Brit wants to go first, so in he goes and comes out with a black baby The Jamaican looks a bit confused, "excuse me", he said, "but don't you think he's likely to be mine ?" "Probably", said the Brit, "but one of them in there's a Republican, and I'm takin' no chances !!!!!"
Right after the Baby was born, the Midwife asked me:
"Do you have a name yet?"
I said "Yes, it's Eli"
She said "Aww... That's a lovely name!"
"Thank you!" I said "-But what do you think we should call the baby?"
Jessica Biel just publicly revealed the name of her next child.
She's naming the baby Batmo.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Baby Names
A little girl asked her Mom why she was named Savannah. Well your father and I were on a trip to Savannah, Georgia when you were conceived so we named you Savannah replied her mom. What about me? Her sister Sydney asked. Well your father and I were on a trip to Sydney, Australia when you were conceived so we named you Sydney replied the mom. That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard their brother shouted out. Hey, you watch your mouth Wendy's Bathroom the mother shouted back.
At first, I thought Baby Driver was all about Kevin Spacey.
After all, the allegations are in the name.
Dating these days
Boy: Hi
Girl: What?
Boy: How are you?
Girl: Do I know you?
Boy: I'm Rich..
Girl: Oh! Hi. My name is Mary but you can call me "Baby" I'm 19 & I am very submissive. I love short men, especially like you & I'm glad to meet you. So, when are we going out?
Boy: No, no, no "Rich" is my name
Girl: Sorry I don't talk to strangers
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I just made love to my girlfriend
She asked, "If I get pregnant, what should we name the baby?"
I took off my c**..., tied a knot, and flushed it down the toilet.
"Well" I said, "If he can get out of that, we'll call him Houdini".
Kylie Jenner just named her newborn baby daughter Stormi
I think the Kardashian family is trying to have a weather forecast for her kids, because it's going to be Stormi in North West Chicago with a chance of Reign.
A friend is having an unplanned baby...
If its a girl he should name it ms.Take. If its a boy, mr.period
Hey dad, why did you and mom name my sister Rose?
"Because a rose petal fell on her head when she was a baby, dear son," replied the Dad.
"Oh, thanks for telling me Dad!"
"No problem, Toaster Oven."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did the mother name her p**... baby after her husband?
He also came too soon.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A girl asked her dad "Why is my name Rose?"
Her dad said "Because when you were a baby, a rose petal fell to your forehead"
The girl's sister asked the same. "Daddy, why is my name Lily?"
"As a baby, the petal of a lily flower fell on your head."
The youngest daughter then approached.
"AUUGHMMGRNMMM"
"Shut up, Cinderblock." The dad said.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Baby names
Right before giving birth, a woman carrying twins falls into a coma and has an emergency C\-section. When she finally woke up, she called the doctor over and asked about her children. "Oh, they're beautiful. You had a boy and a girl." the doctor says.
She begins to smile and asks "Wait, who named them?"
"Your brother" the doctor answered.
"Oh, no. Not my brother. He's an idiot! What did he name my daughter?"
"Denise" The doctor replied.
"Oh, that's not so bad" the mother replied. "What about my son?"
"Denephew"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why is my name daisy..
A baby cow asks her mother why is my name daisy? The mother says Because when you were born a daisy landed on your head. Another baby cow asks why is my name rose? The mother than says again, because when you were born a rose fell on your head. Than you hear DURDUHUEIJWJAI. ..mother cow- shut up brick
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How do people think of names for their babies?
They throw the baby down the stairs and the last sound wins.
