Baby Girl Jokes
121 baby girl jokes and hilarious baby girl puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about baby girl that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Baby Girl Short Jokes
Short baby girl jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The baby girl humour may include short little girl jokes also.
- I just hired a beautiful 21 year old girl to look after my 1 year old baby. Now I have two issues: 1. How to tell this to my wife
2. Where to find a 1 year old baby - One of the girls in the office where I work is going to be having a baby. I just haven't decided which one yet.
- TIL that at age 13 Jewish girls have a bat Mitzvah and at age 15 Latina girls have a... Baby shower.
- A programmer tells a coworker that his wife just had a baby "Is it a boy or a girl?"
"Yes." - [nsfw] I knew a girl who had a miscarriage while taking a shower It was the worst baby shower ever
- My girl asked me what I thought about babies Apparently "depends on how they're cooked" was not any acceptable answer
- Best pickup line ever Girl are you a gorilla exhibit because I'm about to drop a baby in you?
- I walked up to a girl and said, "Skittles, Starburst, Jelly Babies, Haribo, Wine Gums." "Erm...what?" she asked.
I said, "I'm trying to sweet-talk you into dating me." - My boss let me have a day off work because my wife was having a baby The next day he asked me if it was a boy or a girl, I said i'd tell him in about 9 months
- Hope y'all like! A guy walks up to a girl and says "Hey baby, I'm a pescatarian."
She says "that's the worst pickup line I've ever heard."
So he says "whatever, there's plenty of fish in the sea."
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Baby Girl One Liners
Which baby girl one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with baby girl? I can suggest the ones about young girl and pregnant girl.
- Hey girl, are you a parked car in July? Because I want to leave a baby in you.
- What do you call a Jewish baby who isn't circumcised? A girl.
- A girl and a csgo map Baby, if you were a CS:GO map you would be de_stroyed.
- A cantaloupe and a honeydew got married and had a baby girl. They named her Melanie.
- Why do baby boys wear blue and baby girls wear pink? They can't dress themselves…
- How do you describe a thick girl who codes Java and Ruby? "baby got back-end"
- What do you call a baby girl in China? Euthanasia
- I hope the new Royal baby girl doesn't follow in her grandmother's tire tracks .
- What do you call the killing of Chinese baby girls? Youth-in-Asia
- The Rock just announced he's having a baby girl... I bet he names her Marble.
- Fat girl wakes my baby
- Hey girl, are you a gorilla enclosure.. Because I wanna drop a baby in you
- Santa Baby Will you take my virginity
For free
I've been an awful good girl
etc.. - What do you call a girl who wants to get an abortion? Baby killer
- "Girl, I wanna treat yo b**... like a fish tank..." "I'm gonna fill it with my baby krill"
Uproarious Baby Girl Jokes to Share with Friends
What funny jokes about baby girl you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean baby boy jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make baby girl pranks.
Boy while kissing his girlfriend: "Thank u baby... For give me your chewing gum.."
Girl says, "This is not chewing gum my love. I’m suffering from cough!"
When a woman found out that she was pregnant, she lit up the phone lines telling everyone the good news.
One day later that week, she took her 4 year old son, Sam, out shopping.
A woman asked the boy if he was excited about the baby.
"Yes", he said. "I know what we're going to name it.
If it is a girl, we're calling her Molly and if it is a boy, we're going to call it quits.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's grosser than g**...?
Ten babies in one mail box.
What's grosser than that?
One baby in ten mailboxes.
What's grosser than that?
Biting into a pickle and finding a vein.
What's grosser than that?
A cheerleader doing a split and sticking to the floor.
What's grosser than that?
A girl thinking she has c**... only to find it's fruit flies because her cherry rotted.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A very popular girl went to her doctor and found out that she was pregnant.
The doctor says, “I know that you are not married! Do you know who the father of this baby is?”
The girl thought and then asked, “Doc, if you ate a can of Baked Beans, would you know which bean made you f**...?”
Why is it dangerous to tell the husband to go and change the son?
Two hours later he comes back with a baby girl.
Mum has told her little girl all about the making of babies.
Little Annie is now silent for a while.
"You understand it now?" Mum asks.
"Yes," replies her daughter.
"Do you still have any questions?"
"Yes, how about little kittens? How does that work?"
"In exactly the same way as with babies."
"Wow!" the girl exclaims. "My daddy can do ANYTHING!"
A conversation among my Children's Church a while back.
A little girl announced proudly to our class one day, "My mommy has a baby in her belly!"
The little boy next to her was mortified! "Why did your mommy eat a baby!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Little Johnny's teacher asks him, "If I have 5 cookies, and I give you 2, how many cookies do I have left?"
Little Johnny replies, "Zero, you're giving me more than just 3 cookies. I'm taking all 5 baby!"
The teacher just facepalms herself. "I can strongly suggest that you work on your math skills Johnny." the teacher suggests.
"Oh I know math, one man plus one girl, subtract a c**..., equals a baby!" Little Johnny says.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Q: How do you know if a girl is pregnant?
A: Shove a t**... and see if all of the cotton is picked.
All the people who had candy stolen from them as babies are now the adults buying girl scout cookies outside dispensaries.
Can little girls have babies?
Little Johnny asks his mom "Can little girls have babies?"
Little Johnny's mom looks puzzled and replies "Of course not."
Little Johnny excitedly runs back to the window and yells to little Sally "It's OK! we can play that game again!"
So there is a mother and her daughter sitting on the plane.
They haven't taken off yet and are still on the runway. The daughter, who is pretty young, say four or five, looks out the window and gets to thinking....
"Mommy. If big dogs have puppies and big cats have kittens, then shouldn't big airplanes have little baby airplanes?"
And the mom, she's hungover and jet lagged.
"aw, baby, just go ask the stewardess"
So the daughter gets up to ask the flight attendant.
"Hey stewardess lady, if big dogs have puppies and big cats have kittens then shouldn't big airplanes have little baby airplanes?"
And the stewardss says "did your mother tell you to come ask me this?" The girl nods.
"well, you see, sweetheart, this is JetBlue. And we always pull out on time. That's why there's no baby airplanes. Go ask your mom about that."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A black knight moves into a new village with only white people...
...after a year, a white girl in the village gives birth to a black child. A shepherd goes up to the knight and says: "I think you had s**... with that girl, since you're the only black person in this entire village." The knight responds: "Well, sometimes weird things just happen, like your single white sheep among your heard of black sheep." The shepherd says: "Hey! You say nothing bout the sheep, I say nothing bout the baby."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An Irish woman is 3 months pregnant...
She gets into a car accident and falls into a coma.
After nearly six months, she wakes up to find that she is no longer pregnant.
Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby.
The doctor replies, "You had twins! A boy and a girl. The babies are grand. Luckily your brother named them!"
"Oh no, not my brother, he's a feckin eejit!" she says.
She asks the doctor, "Well, what's the girl's name?"
"Denise," the doctor says.
"That's not so bad, what's the boy's name?" she asks the doctor.
"Denephew."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The McDonalds
When I was 8 I brought in my tomogatchi (**ignore spelling**) to a McDonald's. my family sat down to eat and I saw this girl with a tomogatchi too. She stares at me then goes into the bathroom. I wait a minute then follow her in. She was waiting for me. We linked our games and had tomogatchi babies together.
Still to this day, the most s**... thing I have ever done.
A Pregnant women gets in a car wreck....
...and fell into a coma. When she awoke a few days later, she noticed that she wasn't carrying a child, and asked the doctor, "Doctor, what happened to my baby!?"
The doctor replies, "It's all okay. You gave birth to beautiful twins, a boy and a girl. But we needed someone to name them, so your brother came in and gave them their names."
The woman is surprised. "No, not my brother! He's not the smartest guy in the world."
"Well ma'am, he named your daughter Denise," the doctor said.
"Oh, that's not too bad. What's the boy's name?"
"Denephew."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A 3 months pregnant woman falls into a coma...
6 months later she awakes and she asks her doctor about her babies. And he replies
"Oh you had happy healthy twins. One boy, and one girl. Luckily your brother was here to name then"
"Oh god no" says the woman "my brothers an idiot. What are their names"
"The girls name is denise" says the doctor
"Oh thats not to bad, and the boy?"
"Denephew"
Pronounced 'Dead' on arrival ... oops!
The soon to be new parents known as Mr. & Mrs. D. were so excited, as they were just about to give birth to their brand new daughter, whom they'd already decided to name Dea D..
Just a few minutes later, a healthy baby girl popped out but was unfortunately pronounced 'Dead' on arrival by the attending nurse who apparently had significant issues with letter spacing on medical charts.
But my baby boy
My wife and I recently had a baby. We named him Butter. We take our little baby boy back home and realize it's actually a girl named Margarine. We were both shocked... I can't believe it's not Butter.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I once knew a girl so s**... ...
... she had her eustachian tubes tied and now she can't hear her baby crying.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two Amish women are walking down the street.
Two Amish woman are walking down the street when they come across a momma skunk and a baby skunk. A h**... comes driving by at 60 mph and runs over the momma skunk and kills it. The first Amish girl says oh my we can't let that baby skunk by itself. So she picks it up and puts it under her dress to safely take it home. The second Amish girl says what about the smell. First one responds I don't think it will mind
My dad's go to joke...
So there's a blonde, a brunette, and a red head who are all pregnant. A man walks up to the brunette and asks what gender she is having. She replies saying "well I was on top so I'm having a boy!' He then asks the red head what gender her baby is and she replies "well I was on the bottom so I'm having a girl!' He then asks the blonde what she is having and she says 'Oh my god! I must be having puppies!'
Coma Pregnancy
A woman is in an accident while she's pregnant. While in a coma she has twins, a boy & a girl.
When she woke up she asked the doctor where her baby was. The doctor said she had twins but her brother named them.
She replied,My brother is an idiot I wonder what names he gave them. Anyway what did he name the girl?
"Denise", replied the doctor. That's not so bad.What about the boy?, she asked. "Denephew"
How did Watson and crick blow their chance with a hot girl?
They said, "baby you'd look good if you got a pair of skinny genes"
A little girl walks into the kitchen and asks her mother . . .
"Mommy, can I have a baby?"
Her mother smiles and says, "No, sweetie. You're too young."
"Are you sure?" The little girl asks.
"Yes, I'm sure."
The little girl then goes back outside and says to her playmates, "Okay boys - same game."
A boy goes up to a girl and says "hey baby what's up"...
She says "I have a boyfriend", he says "I have a math test".
The girl says "What's that got to do with anything?", he replies "I thought we were just naming things we are going to cheat on."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Didja hear about this Calcutta couple who had a little baby girl looked just like a frog?
They named her Polly-w**....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A woman who is 3 months pregnant falls into a deep coma. 6 months later, she wakes up and asks the doctor about her baby.
Doctor: You had twins, a girl and a boy. Fortunately, your brother was there to name them for you.
Woman: Oh no, not my brother! He's an idiot! What did he name the girl?
Doctor: Denise.
Woman: Well, that isn't so bad. What did he name the boy?
Doctor: Denephew.
The carpenter walks up to his boss..
.. and asks for tomorrow off as his wife is going to have a baby.
The boss gives him the day off.
Two days later the boss asks the carpenter if it was a boy or a girl.
The carpenter replies "we'll see in 9 months"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A girl takes a black guy home.
At the end of a night out on the town, a girl takes a black guy back to her house.
They're kissing and moving towards her bedroom when she looks at him with the most flirtatious eyes she can muster and says: "Is it true what they say about black guys? ;)"
To which the man responded "Of course it is baby.", stabbed her, stole her wallet and left.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A girl asks her father...
A girl asks her father, "Why was I called violet?" And the dad replies, "Because when you were a baby a violet landed on your head."
Another girl asks her father, "Why was I called Rose?" And the dad replies, "Because when you were a baby a rose landed on your head."
Another girl asks her dad, "Heyasdeasuadwxosj" And the dad replies, "Shut up fridge."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
You know what the problem is with dating a white girl with a mixed baby?
The kid never spends the weekend at their dad's house.
**I'll just see myself out**
Mr. and Mrs. Leven just got a baby
And they decide to name the girl Nina. Turns out, Nina Leven is offensive to some people.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A woman wakes up from a coma and...
A 4-months-pregnant woman falls into a deep coma. 5 months later she wakes up and asks the doctor about her baby.
Doctor: You had twins, a boy and a girl, and they are perfectly fine. Luckily your brother named them for you.
Woman: Oh no not my brother! He's an idiot. What did he name the my daughter?
Doctor: Denise
Woman: Oh that's not that bad. What did he name my son?
Doctor: Denephew
Little Johnny's Game
Little Johnny comes running into the house and asks, "Mommy, can little girls have babies?" "No," says his mom, "of course not." Little Johnny runs back outside yelling to his friends, "It's okay, we can play that game again!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A teenage girl come home from school and asks her mother, "Is it true what Rita just told me?"
"What's that?" asks her mother. "That babies come out of the same place where boys put their p**...?" said her daughter.
"Yes it is dear!" replies her mother, pleased that the subject had finally come up and that she wouldn't have to explain it to her daughter.
"But then, when I have a baby," responded the teenager, "won't it knock my teeth out?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The eldest of three siblings comes up to his mother and asks: "Mommy, mommy, why is my name Leaf?"
"Well, honey," the mother says, "it's because when you were a little baby, a leaf landed on your head."
Satisfied, the child goes away.
Later, the middle child tugs at her mother's hand. "Mommy, mommy, why is my name Feather?"
"Well, darling," the mother says, "it's because when you were a little baby, a feather floated down and landed on your head."
The little girl smiles and goes on her way.
A few moments later the youngest child runs into the room and says: "WARGLBARGLAAHRGLB?"
The mother says: "Shut up, Refrigerator."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A boy asks the teacher...
"Can children of kindergarten age have baby if they have s**...?"
Teacher says, "No they can't."
The boy turns to girl standing next to him and says, "See, you were scared for no reason at all!"
my wife got mad at me after picking out baby names...
she like it for the first week then it clicked for her... i said Peter Brian Johnson for a baby boy and Veronica Jessica Johnson for a baby girl...
A few jokes for programmers
Programmer: My wife is expecting a baby in 6 weeks!
Friend: Is it a boy or a girl?
Programmer: Yes.
There are only 10 kinds of people in the world,
Those who know binary, those who don't, and those who expected this to be in base 3
There are only 10 kinds of people in this world,
Those who know hexadecimal, and F the rest
Between the legs
"What you hiding there?" asks the boy. "Nothing much, just a baby house" the girl continues "btw, what are you hiding?" "Nothing much, just some homeless babies"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did the doctor say to the parents of an ugly baby?
"I charge five dollars if it's a boy and five dollars if it's a girl. Let's just say this one's on the house.
A girl asks her boyfriend "Baby are you gonna still love me, even after we are married?"
Boyfriend says "Of couse, sweetheart. If your husband doesn't mind that is."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A girl asked her mom if it's true that babies come out of where men put there p**....
Mom said yes that's true.
The girl said but mom wouldn't that break my Jaw?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So I was having s**... with a pregnant girl
She screamed "THE BABY'S COMING!"
I screamed "SO AM I!!"
A Vietnamese couple were going to have a baby.
The father was really hoping for a boy, while the mother wanted a girl.
As luck would have it, they ended up having twins -- one boy and one girl.
It was a Nguyen-Nguyen situation.
A little girl asks her father where people came from.
He explained about Adam and Eve and they were our original ancestors and they had babies and that's where we came from.
Later that day the girl asked her Mom who explained that their ancestors were monkeys and apes and humans evolved from the monkeys. "So, our relatives are monkeys?" "That's right, dear"
Now the little girl was angry and stomped into the living room to see her Dad and told him what her Mom said. "You lied to me!" the little girl shouted at him.
No I didn't honey. Your Mom was talking about her side of the family
In recent news, a woman flying with Turkish Airlines gave birth to a baby girl midflight.
In keeping with the times, the baby girl was promptly dragged off the plane by security.
A logician's wife is having a baby. The doctor immediately hands the newborn to the dad. The wife says, "Is it a boy or a girl?" The logician says...
Yes.
Three Pregnant Ladies
Three Pregnant Ladies are discussing their unborn babies.
The Brunette says "I am having a girl because I was on the bottom when my partner and I conceived"
The Redhead says "I am having a boy as I was on top with my partner"
The Blonde starts crying and the other two ask what is wrong "I am going to be having ten puppies!"
My sister just had a baby – she's called it Tiff, because it's a girl.
If it was a boy if would have been Jpeg.
A guy walks up to the pretty girl working at the comic book store and say" Hey baby are you into werewolves..."
"Cause I'm lycan the way you look"
What did Fat Boy Slim say to the girl with Parkinson's?
I see you baby, shaking that glass.
Two pregnant women are talking about their future babies
"I feel like my girl will be an athlete, she kicks so much in there it's unbelieavable!"
"Oh, I'm sure mine will be a comedian."
"How can you be so sure?"
"You wouldn't get it. It's an inside joke."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Boy: [kissing g**... couch] you wanna take this upstairs?
Girl: He-he, sure baby.
Boy: Awesome! Grab the other end, and try not to scuff the banister.
Dating these days
Boy: Hi
Girl: What?
Boy: How are you?
Girl: Do I know you?
Boy: I'm Rich..
Girl: Oh! Hi. My name is Mary but you can call me "Baby" I'm 19 & I am very submissive. I love short men, especially like you & I'm glad to meet you. So, when are we going out?
Boy: No, no, no "Rich" is my name
Girl: Sorry I don't talk to strangers
A friend is having an unplanned baby...
If its a girl he should name it ms.Take. If its a boy, mr.period
I knew a girl who always confused her birth control and anti-depressants
She had the sweetest little baby.
My wife and I are expecting a baby, and I keep telling her that I don't care whether it's a boy or a girl
as long as its a healthy boy.
Having a baby girl? You should name her Artica.
It's awesome because all her nieces and nephews will have an Aunt Artica.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A girl asked her dad "Why is my name Rose?"
Her dad said "Because when you were a baby, a rose petal fell to your forehead"
The girl's sister asked the same. "Daddy, why is my name Lily?"
"As a baby, the petal of a lily flower fell on your head."
The youngest daughter then approached.
"AUUGHMMGRNMMM"
"Shut up, Cinderblock." The dad said.
My mom always told me if I got a girl pregnant I would have to marry her. But what she doesn't know won't kill her.
But it will kill the baby.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Game Show Idea
Idea: Three sides of different ethnicities have s**... with a girl at the same time, and you bet on
what the race of the baby is.
There was once two trees who fell in love. One day they decided to have a baby. The mother wanted a boy whilst the father wanted a girl. They waited until the last day to find out the gender of the gender. They was told it was a boy. The father looked down and said in disappointment...
It's tree son then.
There was a guy who was terrible at naming thing ...
His dog was named dog, his cat was named cat and so on. One day, the man's sister was having twins and in a long family tradition, the babies uncle had to chose the names. Absolutely mortified, the twin girl and boy were born and it was time;
What did you choose for the girl?
Denise
Oh man, that's not so bad. What did you choose for the boy?
Denephew
