The Best 17 Baby Bears Jokes

Following is our collection of Baby Bears jokes which are very funny. There are some baby bears rugrats jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these baby bears babysitters puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Mama and Papa Bear are getting divorced...

and the Judge is asking Baby Bear who he wishes to live with. "So, is it Mama or Papa?" the Judge asks.
"Mama and Papa beat me," says Baby Bear.
"Well do you have any other relatives?" asked the Judge.
"I have an uncle in Chicago," replies Baby Bear.
"Does he beat you too?" asks the Judge.
"Naww," says Baby Bear. "The Chicago Bears don't beat anybody."

Whose point is it anyway?

A ninety-year-old man went to the doctor and said, "Doctor, my eighteen-year-old wife is expecting a baby."

The doctor said, "Let me tell you a story. A man went hunting, but instead of a rifle, he picked up an umbrella by mistake. When a bear suddenly appeared and charged at the man - he picked up the umbrella, shot the bear, and killed it."

The man said, "Impossible. Someone else must have shot that bear."

The doctor said, "My point exactly!"

A 96 year old man...

After marrying a beautiful young woman, a 96 year old man informed his doctor that he and his new wife were expecting a baby.

"Let me tell you a story," the doctor said. "An absentminded fellow went hunting, but instead of a gun, he accidentally brought his umbrella on the trip. When he was in the woods, a bear charged him unexpectedly. The man whipped out his umbrella, pointed it at the bear and shot and killed it on the spot."

"That's impossible!" the elderly man exclaimed. "Someone else shot the bear."

"My point exactly," the doctor replied.

Mama Bear and Papa bear are getting a divorce

Mama bear and Papa bear are getting a divorce. The judge asks baby bear what parent he wants to live with.

Judge: Ok baby bear, do you want to live with your Mama?

Baby Bear: No, she beats me.

Judge: Ok how about your Papa?

Baby Bear: No he beats me even more...

Judge: Then who do you want to live with?

Baby Bear: I want to live with the Chicago Bears! They don't beat anyone!

I gave a lonely guy a baby bear as a pet.

He said, "Thanks for making my life a little bearable."


Where does a baby bear go to school?

In an ursary.

3 hunters were walking in a forest when they came across some tracks.

One hunter claims they were bear tracks.

The second frowns, and says "No, those are certainly badger tracks."

The third just laughs and says, "Honestly! You two crack me up! Those are *obviously* baby elephant tracks!"



And then the train hit them.

What's the difference between Donald Trump and a baby polar bear?

It will be a year before the baby polar bear kills its first seal.

Our small town made national news when a baby was born here that was part animal.

It had a deer face and a bear ass.

What do you call a baby cub before it starts teething?

A gummy bear

Once Papa Bear, Mama Bear and Baby Bear had upset stomachs.

They went to the doctor who gave Papa Bear a big dose, Mama Bear a medium dose, and Baby Bear a little dose, and asked them to come again the next day.

The next day, the doctor asked them about the condition of their stomach.

Papa Bear said, "Me very thankful, me did a tankful."

Mama Bear said, "Me very grateful, me did a plateful."

Baby Bear said, "Me broken hearted, me only farted."

Top Baby Bears Puns and Funny Jokes

You can explore baby bears umbrella reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean baby bears preschooler dad jokes. There are also baby bears puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Why did the mother bear ask the baby bear to wear shoes before he ran through the forest?

Because he was barefooted!!!

What was the bear's favourite pick-up line?

Hey baby, what's ursine?

A little Native American boy...

...went to his father to ask how little Native American babies get their name.

"Son, when your oldest brother was born we looked out the teepee and we saw two fighting bears, so we named him Fighting Bear"

"When your other brother was born we looked out and saw a running deer, so we named him Running Deer"

"Why do you ask Pooping Dog?"

When Chuck Norris was a baby he didnt have teddy bears. He had real bears.

Hercules strangled two snakes in his crib when he was a baby.



Chuck Norris strangled a grizzly bear moments after birth with his own umbilical cord.

At a divorce court a family of bears is waiting for the judge to grant custody of little bear.



The judge asks the baby bear, "Do you want to live with papa bear?"

The baby bear replied, "No he beats me."

The judge asked, so do you want to live with mommy bear!

The baby bear said, "No she beats me too."

The judge asked, "Then whom do you want to live with?"

The baby bear says, "The Chicago bears, they don't beat anyone!"

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the baby bears babysitter jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working baby bears infants piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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