Babi Jokes

Following is our collection of paint humor and mami one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Babi puns for adults, dirty thin jokes or clean throw gags for kids.

There is an abundance of baby sister jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 48 funniest jokes on babi. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any dead baby witze you can hear about babi.

The Best jokes about Babi

How many babies does it take to shingle a roof?

It depends on how thinly you slice them.

Why do babies make bad mechanics?

They have poorly developed motor skills.

How many babies does it take to open a door?

It depends on how hard you can throw.

What are 50 babies, each holding a gun, called?

An infantry.

Did you know babies and kettles make the same sound?

Except kettles stop screaming when you take em off the burner


Where do babies go out to eat?

Breastaurants

Babies are like the total opposite of a complicated dinner recipe

It's more fun to make one than it is to eat one.

When do you know that you are getting old?

When you have babies on purpose

How many babies does it take to change a Light bulbs?

Well obviously more than 8, my basement is still dark

Babies are like farts.

We only like our own.

you might think babies are delivered by storks

but fat babies require cranes


Why are babies so reliable?

Because you can trust 'em about as far as you can throw 'em

How many babies does it take to paint a garage?

Depends on how hard you throw em'.

How many babies do you need to paint a wall?

Depends on how hard you throw them.

How many babies does it take to paint a house?

None. The minimum age for physical labour in most places is 13-15 and babies would not be allowed to use the paint

Babies

Q: How do you get a baby into a cup?

A: You blend it.

Q: How do you get a baby out of the cup?

A: With a straw.

Babies wear diapers for two reasons...

Number 1 and number 2

Where do babies come from? (NSFW)

My daughter: "Dad, how do babies get inside a mom's belly?

Me: "Dads put the a seed in the mom's belly."

My daughter: " Do the mom's swallow the seed?"

Me: "When they want a new dress they do."

Please have my babies.

I am so disappointed in them.


How many babies does it take to light up a basement?

More than nine since that's how many I have in mine and my basement is completely dark

How are babies and strippers alike?

They're fun to play with but I wouldn't want to take one home

Babies and animals love me...

Basically, anyone not smart enough to know better.

Two babies are sitting in their playpen cooing away...

Baby 1: Well, looks like I'm getting circumcised tomorrow.

Baby 2: Ouch, I had it done when I was just a few days old.

Baby 1: Well then, does it hurt mate?

Baby 2: I'll put it to you this way pal, after I had it done I couldn't walk for about a year.

What do babies and math problems have in common?

Until you use the right formula, they're annoying as hell.

You know why babies aren't good at foot ball

They aren't very aerodynamic

How many babies does it take to change a lightbulb?

At least 6 because my basements still dark

Where do babies always fall asleep?

inside a hot car

Babies are like new tattoos

They are yours forever, but you should probably hold off posting pictures for a bit until they aren't raw and weird looking anymore.

How are babies like hinges?

They are things to adore

Babies are like pancakes

You have every right to throw the first one away

"Where do babies come from?"

Asked the little boy...

Perplexed, his dad answers "well they come from the store, son."

Kid looks at him with disgust and goes "eww you had sex with the store?"

How many babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

I don't know. I broke the lightbulb after I threw the first one :(

Where do babies come from?

Out their baby dicks, dumbass.

How many babies does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Babies don't have the motor skills or the depth perception to change a light bulb.

Three babies were in the womb talking amongst themselves about their future

They get on the topic of what they want to be when they are born and grow up.

The first baby says: "when I get older, I want to be a molder of young minds! A teacher is what I'm aiming for."

The second baby says: "when I'm a adult, I want to heal and save people! I'll be a doctor."

The third baby thinks for a second and says: "I want to be a boxer".

The other two babies look at him in confusion and ask why.

"Because when I get out, I want to beat up the bald headed man who keeps spitting on me!"

Why are babies born after nine months?

Because they run out of womb!

What do babies wear when they go skateboarding?

Mini-Vans

Why do Babies have the soft spot on the top of their heads?

So that if there is a fire in the hospital, the nurses can carry them out 3 to each hand like a bowling ball.

What do babies and an etch-a-sketch have in common?

If you dont like the way it looks you can shake it until it goes away.

How many babies does it take to shingle a roof?

Depends how thin you slice them.


Worst dead baby jokes, let's hear them!

NSFW because dead baby jokes probably aren't safe for work...

Babies suck at most things

I wonder how many babies were conceived during the eclipse...

I'm sure it's astronomical.

Babies are like a vindaloo.

They hurt on the way out.

Why do babies love sticking things in their mouth?

And why doesn't my girlfriend share this impulse?

Two babies are discussing their births at a nursery

One turned to the other and said "Mine was a total mess. How was yours?" "Ah," the other baby said, "At first it was really difficult but I managed to pull through."

How many babies does it take to repaint a wall?

Only one if you throw it strong enough.

What do babies and girlfriends have in common?

One brings amazing joy and the other destroys your life ( not saying what is what)

Babies

Mike and his pregnant wife live on a farm in the distant rural regions of Ireland with no running water, no electricity, none of the creature comforts. One night, Mikes' wife goes into labor. The local doctor is there in attendance.

"What d'ya want me to do, Doctor?"

"Hold the lantern, Mikey. Here it comes!" The doctor delivers the child and holds it up for the proud father to see. "Mike, you're the proud father of a fine strapping boy."

"Saints be praised, I..."

Before Mike can finish the doctor interrupts, "Wait a minute. Hold the lantern, Mikey." Soon the doctor delivers the next child. "You've a full set now, Mikey. A beautiful baby daughter."

"Thanks be to..."

Again the doctor cuts in. "Hold the lantern, Mikey! Hold the lantern!" Soon the doctor delivers a third child. The doctor holds up the third baby for Mike's inspection.

"Doctor," asks Mike, "do you think it's the light that's attracting 'em?"

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes