Aye Jokes
124 aye jokes and hilarious aye puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about aye that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Aye! Have a laugh with these hilarious jokes that'll have you saying "alrighty!" With jokes ranging from "Aye Khuda na!" to "Yah, laddy!", you'll certainly have plenty of aye-inspiring jokes for your next gathering!
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Funniest Aye Short Jokes
Short aye jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The aye humour may include short hmm jokes also.
- Two Irishmen are walking down the street looking for a job. One sees a sign that says, "Tree fellers wanted." He turns to his companion and says, "Aye, 'tis a pity dere's only the two of us!"
- I can't remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6 and 500 in roman numeral I M LIVID
- A pair of Scottish nuns were riding in a cab in Edinburgh, and one turned to the other saying, "I've never come this way before." The other nun smiled and said... "Aye, it's the cobblestones."
- A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants. The bartender says "You know you got a steering wheel in your pants"
The pirate says "Aye, and it's drivin' me nuts!" - What did the pirate say when he turned 80? Aye matey
(This is an old joke I saw. But haven't seen it here in a while. So I figured some of you might get a small laugh out of this) - Why is French person a better team player than a pirate? The pirate says, "Aye, aye!"
The French says, "Oui, oui!" - A pirate captain says to his first mate... Where are my buccaneers?
Aye Cap'n, they're the sides of your buccan' head! - So the Jamaican said to the Arab.. "Aye where you from? You from tha beach mon?" The Arab replied "Yemen!'
- Man walks into a bar with a giraffe The giraffe goes to sleep on the floor. The bartender says, "Aye, what's that lyin' there?" The man says, "It's not a lion, it's a giraffe!"
- A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants... The bartender says "hey, you have a steering wheel in your pants". The pirate replies, "aye, it's driving me nuts".
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Aye One Liners
Which aye one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with aye? I can suggest the ones about nope and yea.
- What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? Aye Matey!
- What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? Aye matey
Credit to my sister - What did the pirate say when he turned 80? 'Aye matey"
- 'How old arr you?' asked one of the pirate's sailors. The pirate replied, 'Aye matey.'
- Don't run with bagpipes. You could put an aye out. Or worse yet, get kilt.
- Yesterday I met a pirate that wouldn't stop telling me about his age. Aye matey.
- Why do pirates love reddit? Aye, tis the best place to trade stolen content for gold!
- How do pirates prefer to communicate? Aye to Aye!
- What did the pirate say when he turned 80 years old? Aye matey.
- What did the pirate say when he turned 80 Aye matey !
Funny funny I know - What do you call two pirates who agree with each other? Two people that see aye to aye
- What does a pirate say on his 80th birthday? Aye matey
- Why couldn't the robot pirate acknowledge his crew? He was waiting on an aye patch.
- What does a Pirate say on his Eightieth birthday? AYE MATEY!
- Why can't the pirate be subordinate to the captain? Because he's missing the second aye.
Aye Guess What Jokes
Here is a list of funny aye guess what jokes and even better aye guess what puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- An old, hoary pirate was having a birthday party. Someone asked him, "I'd guess you're turning 79, is that right?"
The pirate replied, "Aye matey"
Delightful Fun Aye Jokes for a Roaring Good Time
What funny jokes about aye you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean aha jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make aye pranks.
This is true: I picked up a pack of ear plugs at work today and it had three in the pack
The maintenance guy said that's the Spock pack
Me: Spock pack?
Maint: aye; one for the left ear, one for the right ear - and one for the final front ear
A Scotsman moves to London
How's the flat you're living in in London, Jock? asks his mother when he calls home to Aberdeen.
It's okay, he replies, but the woman next door keeps screaming and crying all night and the guy on the other side keeps b**... his head on the wall.
Never you mind, says his mother, don't you let them get to you, just ignore them.
Aye, that I do, he says, I just keep playing my bagpipes.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization
As the storm raged,the captain realized his ship was sinking fast.
So he shouted out, "Anyone here know how to pray?"
Just o**... stepped forward and said, "Aye, captain,I know how to pray."
"Good,"said the captain, "You pray while the rest of us put on our life jackets - we're one short."
A pirate walks into a bar...
...with a ships wheel on his c**.... One of the patrons says "Hey, you knw you got a ships wheel on your c**..., right?" To which the pirate replies "Aye, it's drivin' me nuts!"
A Newcastle girl goes into a hair salon
The stylist says "Why aye lass, what do yee want?"
"Can I have a perm please?" says the customer. The stylist responds:
*Ah wandered lernley as a cloud that flerts on high oer vales an' hills...*
Two tugboat captains have been friends for years.
They would always cry, "Aye!" and blow their whistles whenever they passed each other.
A new crewman asked his boat's mate, "What do they do that for?"
The mate looked surprised and replied, "You mean that you've never heard of ... an aye for an aye?"
Two Irishmen were sitting at a pub
Two Irishmen were sitting at a pub having beer and watching the brothel across the street. They saw a Baptist minister walk into the brothel, and one of them said, Aye, 'tis a shame to see a man of the cloth goin' bad. Then they saw a rabbi enter the brothel, and the other Irishman said, Aye, 'tis a shame to see that the Jews are fallin' victim to temptation as well. Then they see a catholic priest enter the brothel, and one of the Irishmen said, What a terrible pity…one of the girls must be dying.
So a pirate has been on a ship for 6 months...
but there are no women on the ship and being male,he had some...urges, so he asked the captain " arr its been 6 months since we've had a lass on the ship and some of the others are getting urges. what can we do about them??" and the captain responds" go down to the front of the ship and there will be a barrel, stick your privates in there and go at it." so he did as he was told and when he was done he came back. he told the captain " captain! that was great! how many times can i use it????" and the captain turned to him and said " every day except thursday." and the pirate asked " why?" the captain responded " aye, because thats your turn to be in the barrel."
Two archers are sipping pints in a pub.
The first archer says, "Did you see the new leathersmith? He's a beast of a man with eyes as black as night."
To which the second archer replies, "Aye, he makes me quiver".
In the words of Bill Murray...
An Irish man knocks on the door of an old lady, he says he's broke and looking for work. The old lady says "Sure, I'll pay you to paint my porch." So she gives the Irish man some paint and he leaves.
One hour later the man comes back, "Are you already done?" the lady asked, "Aye." said the Irish man, "But it's not a porch it's a Mazda."
Best toast in all of Ireland
John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me
Life, between the legs of me wife!"
That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!
He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the best toast of
The night."
She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?"
John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside
Me wife."
"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.
The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street
Corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other
Night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary."
She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's
Only been in there twice in the last four years. "Once I had to pull him by
The ears to make him come, and the other time he fell asleep".
My favourite joke
So a guy goes into a pub, walks up to the bar and asks for a pint.
The barman replies: one pound please. The guy says back: only one pound?!
The barman replies: aye only a pound.
The guy takes his pint and enjoys it and after a few more pints at a pound each the guy feels cheeky.
The guy says: ill have a steak and chips mate.
The barman replies: three quid.
The guy then asked: do you own this pub?
The barman replies: no.
The guy then asked: wheres the boss then? I want to ask why the prices are so low.
The barman replies: he's upstairs with my wife.
The guy then asked: why? Whats he doing with your wife?
The barman replies: the same thing i'm doing to his business.
A ship was sailing in the middle of the ocean....
A storm was developing in the distance. As the storm raged, the captain realised the ship was sinking fast.
He called out loud, "Anyone here knows how to pray?"
A man proudly raised his hand and came forward, "Aye Captain, I know how to pray."
The Captain replied, "Great, you keep praying while the rest of us put our life jackets on.......we are short of one!"
John O'Reilly hoisted his beer...
John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said,
"Here'sto spending the rest of me Life,
Between the legs of me wife!"
That won him the top prize at the pub for the best
Toast of the night!
He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the
Prize for the Best toast of The night."
She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?"
John said,
"Here's to spending the rest of me life,
Sitting in church beside me wife."
"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.
The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking
Buddies on the street Corner. The man chuckled
Leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other
night at The pub with a toast about you, Mary."
She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit
surprised myself. You know, he's only been in
there twice in the last four years. "Once I had to pull him by
the ears to make him come, and the other time he fell
asleep".
Scottish man at the ranch
A scottish man is visiting a texas oilman. They spend hours touring the ranch; it's an enormous property. Eventually the oilman brags, "I can jump in my car and drive until sun down. I'd never hit the edge of my claim!". The scotsman replies, "Aye, I had a car like that once too".
John sees a "boat for sale" sign and decides to go take a look...
Behind the sign the there is only an old tractor and a beat up truck, so he goes to the door and an old newfie answers.
John says "I'm interested in the boat you have for sale"
The newfie looks confused and says "no bye, I ain't got no boat for sale."
"But" John says, "you have a sign out by that old truck and tractor..."
"Aye," replies the newfie, "and dere boat for sale!"
A prayer
As the storm raged, the captain realized his ship was sinking fast.
He called out: "Anyone here know how to pray?"
One man stepped forward: "Aye, Captain, I know how to pray."
Good", said the captain, "you pray while the rest of us put on our life jackets - we're one short"
A Scottish guy announced to his mate that he was getting married...
I'll write this down phonetically, so use your best Scottish accent:
"Ahm gettin married next week."
"Are ye wearin a kilt?"
"Aye, ahm weerin a kilt."
"Wha's the tartin?"
"She's in a w**... dress."
A Canadian visits a small church while on holiday in Scotland.
The Canadian is intrigued by the intricately carved pulpit and, being something of a history buff, would like to know more about it so approaches the little old vicar.
"Excuse me sir, would you be so kind as to tell me what the pulpit is made of?"
"Aye. Wood."
"You would?"
"Nay yew, is oak."
"Oak? Eh?"
"Glad to have helped."
Kelly hobbled in to the bar on a crutch with one arm in a cast.
My god! What happened to you?" the bartender asked.
I got in a tiff with Riley.
Riley? He's just a wee fellow" the barkeep said, surprised. "He must have had something in his hand.
That he did" Kelly said, A shovel it was.
Dear Lord. Didn't you have anything in your hand?"
Aye, that I did….Mrs. Riley's right breast" Kelly said. "And a beautiful thing it was, but not much use in a fight.
So a pirate walks into a bar...
So a pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants..
Bar Tender: "hi sir, um.. you know you have a steering wheel in your pants right?"
Pirate: "Aye! it's driving me nuts!"
Are you ready kids? AYE AYE CAPTAIN! I can't hear youuuu! AYE AYE CAPTAIN! Ohhhhhh, who lives with a GPA under a C?
CO-LLEGE STU-DENTS
Who's living with stress induced anxiety? CO-LLEGE STU-DENTS!
If wanting to drop out is something you wish...CO-LLEGE STU-DENTS
Then take a long nap and watch some Netflix!
COLLEGE STUDENTS, COLLEGE STUDENTS, COLLEGE STUDENTS, COLLEEEEGGEEEEE STUUUDEEEEEEEENTSSSSSS!
A British cab driver pulls up to the airport...
He sees a man waiting for a cab. The man has three eyes, no arms, and only one leg.
The cab driver says to him "Aye, aye, aye. You look 'armless. Hop in!"
A pirate named Ronny gets promoted to First Mate.
Ronny is pondering life one day as hes giving the captain a shave.
"I'm not a very good pirate," he says to the captain. "I can't navigate and I don't know how to fight. I don't even sound like a pirate. Is there a reason you chose me as first mate?"
"Aye Ronny," says the captain.
Irishman walks up to an Englishman...
...and says, "Look, here's de ting: why are some of are werds missin' de letter 'H'? Lissen to de way aye say 'ting', fer example. Aye tink the British have been stealin' some of our H's, dat's what I tink!" The British man replies, "Don't be shtupid."
The Scotsman
A Scotsman was walking down the street in his traditional Scottish attire when he saw a couple of women talking and giggling,
As he approached one of the women asked " is it true the you dont wear anything under your kilt?"
"Aye, why dont you have a peek and find out for yourself"
So the woman lifted his kilt just enough to see his "business" and said "oh thats gruesome"
The Scotsman replied "I think if you'll check again, you'll see its grew some more"
First post, heard this in a song recently, got a good chuckle from it personally
I think it helps to read with a Scottish accent
A pirate captain says to his 3 crewmates, "Let's learn Roman numerals!"
The first one says, "Aye."
The second one adds, "Aye aye."
The third one finishes, "Aye aye aye."
A friend of mine got married on top of a mountain last year.
Aye they say it was all downhill from there.
An Irishman walks into a bar with a steering wheel down his pants.
An Irishman walks into a bar with a steering wheel down his pants.
The bartender says, Is that a steering wheel down your pants?
The Irishman replies, Aye, it's drivin' me nuts!
A person with three eyes, no arms and one leg is hitchhiking.
A British guy pulls over and says, "Aye! Aye! Aye! You look 'armless. Hop in."
Way down upon the Mississippi, two tugboat captains who had been friends for years, would always cry "Aye!" and blow their whistles whenever they passed each other
A new crewman asked his boat's mate, "What do they do that for?"
The mate looked surprised and replied, "You mean that you've never heard of an aye for an aye and a toot for a toot?"
George and Mildred
It was a pleasant, sunny afternoon in the park, full of Sunday revelers. George and Mildred were sitting together on a park bench, feeding the ducks. Mildred turned to George and said: "You know George, we've been together 29 years now, don't you think its about time we were getting married?"
George stared reflectively into the distance and replied, "Aye, Lass, but who would have us?"
Three witches are standing around a bubbling caldron.
The first witch tastes the brew. "It needs an eye of newt," she says.
"Agreed" says the second.
"Aye," says the newt.
"Perfect," says the third.
A pirate walks into a bar,
He has what appears to be a steering wheel tucked into his pants.
Another patron of the bar asks,
"why do you have that in your pants? Isn't it uncomfortable?"
The pirate responded,
"Aye, matey, it's driving me nuts!"
So this pirate walks into the bar...
A pirate wearing a steering wheel steps into the local watering hole, sits down and says "Aye let me get a ice cold Budweiserrrrrr" Bartender says "excuse me sir, are you aware you have a giant steering wheel in your trousers? Pirate: .." Rrrrr, yeah, it driving me nuts!"
A man runs into an old salty sea captain on the docks of Boston harbor and says,
"Cap'm, can't help but noticin'...you got a steerin' wheel secures to yer c**... there." Sea captain removes the pipe from 'tween his teeth and says, "Aye. It's drivin' me nuts."
A Spanish pirate walks into a bar... [OC]
A Spanish pirate walks into a bar, and he appears down in the dumps. The bartender notices this and asks,
"Aye, what'll ye be havin'?"
"Agua, por favor."
"Hm, whatever floats yer boat, lad."
"...Sí."
I pirate walks into a bar, and the bartender says...
**Bartender:** Uh (pointing down), you know you have a ship's wheel hanging from your t**...?
**Pirate:** Aye! (nodding his head while removing his pipe), and it's driving me nuts.
So a pirate walks into a grocery store...
And he asks for blubber. The clerk is amazed to see a pirate and exclaims "Are you *really* a pirate!?"
"Aye, matey."
"Whale: aisle B!" replied the surprised-yet-helpful clerk.
A couple pirate jokes
(Couple good misdirection jokes)
You: What's a pirates favorite military branch?
Friend:ARRRMY
You: No yee d**..., it's the coast guard.
You:What's a pirates favorite letter?
Friend:ARRRR
You: Aye, you think it be arr but it's the SEA! (C)
You:What's a pirates favorite fast food restaurant?
Friend:ARRRBYS
You: No. It's Long John Silver's.
A pirate walks into a bar
I pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel where his hat should be, hanging down covering part of his face. The bartender asked if he was hiding his face for a reason.
"Aye," the pirate said. "I have a bounty on me head."
My son asked if I could help him with his math homework. He said "Do I know the square root of minus 1?"
I said "aye"
A Man Walks Up and Knocks on Mrs. O'Reilly's door.
Oh, Mrs. O'Reilly, I have terrible news. There was an accident at the brewery and your husband fell into a vat of Guinness and drowned.
Oh! It must have been horrible, she cried!
Aye, we pulled him out three times.
What's a pirate's favorite letter?
Arrr?
Aye, it be the Sea...
The Pirates pants
A Pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants. The bartender says to him "why have you got a steering wheel on your pants isn't that annoying".
The Pirate says "Aye its driving me nuts".
What did the 80 year old pirate say?
Aye matey. Then the 82 year old pirate said, aye matey too. The 80yo pirate said, no you're not, you're eighty two! I'm eighty. Then the 82 year old pirate said, Aye matey! Then the 80yo pirate said, no you're not! You're eighty two! Then the 82 year old pirate said, Aye matey! Then the...
A pirate walks into a bar..
With a wheel on his c**.... The bar tender says
"Aye, what's with the wheel?"
Pirate says "arrrrrghhhhhh, it be driving me nuts"
Seamus walked into the pub, sat down at his usual table...
...and proudly announced, Drinks are on me tonight, boys.
His pals looked at each other, knowing that Seamus was very tight with his wallet. Michael spoke up, Are ye OK?
Seamus clapped him on the shoulder and said, Aye, Mikey, I'm just fine. Last night, while I was here with you lads, someone broke into me house.
p**... said, Yer joking! Did he get anything?
Seamus smiled and said, Two black eyes, a busted lip, and a boot to the nuts. The wife thought it was me coming home drunk.
Why did the pirates fall out?
They couldn't see aye to aye
Ten horses walk out of a bar. They see another horse getting mugged by a big scary dude in an alleyway. The horses are unsure if they should intervene. One brave horse says, "Let's put it to a vote! If you want to help him, say aye!"
They don't help him.
Computing Pirates
What's a pirate's favorite computer language?
Aye, you'd think it was R, but tis the C
A Pirate Walked Into A Bar With A Ship's Wheel
A pirate walked into a bar with a ship's wheel fastened to his belt buckle. The bartender says, "Sir, do you know you have a ship's wheel fastened to your belt buckle?" To which the pirate responds, "Aye, it's driving me nuts!"
Some pirates are sailing off the coast of Madagascar
The captain points to the shore and says to his first mate:
"Do you see those crazy looking lemur things?"
To which the first mate replied:
"Aye aye, I eye aye-aye"
Why do lawyers love pirates?
Because they make the best aye witnesses
A pirate walks into a bar...
... with a steering wheel shoved down the front of his pants.
The bartender asks, "Is that a steering wheel in your pants?"
"Aye!" the pirate responds. "Its driving me nuts!"
in india, muslim guy used to get divorce just bay saying the word 'talaq' 3 times. i found a joke based on it.
Wife: What I really hate about this house is the lack...
Husband: the lack....
Wife: the lack!
Husband: the lack?
Wife: yeah the lack of...
Husband: the lack o-
Wife: aye Dobby has no master. Dobby is a free elf
Husband: Damnnnnnn Fatima.
An Irishman walks into a Bar
An Irishman walks into a bar with a steering wheel shoved down the front of his pants. The bartender takes a look at him and asks, what's the deal with that steering wheel?
The Irishman responds " Aye, Its driving me nuts"
What do you say to a pirate with two eyes?
Aye aye captain.
What do you say if they only have one?
Aye captain.
What doya call an Irishmann with no arms nor leggs hangin from yer ceilin'?
Sean DuLier
(Not original content, but aye couldn't fynd it heahr)
