Aye Jokes
123 aye jokes and hilarious aye puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about aye that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Aye! Have a laugh with these hilarious jokes that'll have you saying "alrighty!" With jokes ranging from "Aye Khuda na!" to "Yah, laddy!", you'll certainly have plenty of aye-inspiring jokes for your next gathering!
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Funniest Aye Short Jokes
Short aye jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The aye humour may include short hmm jokes also.
- Two Irishmen are walking down the street looking for a job. One sees a sign that says, "Tree fellers wanted." He turns to his companion and says, "Aye, 'tis a pity dere's only the two of us!"
- I can't remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6 and 500 in roman numeral I M LIVID
- What did the pirate say when he turned 80? Aye matey
(This is an old joke I saw. But haven't seen it here in a while. So I figured some of you might get a small laugh out of this) - Why is French person a better team player than a pirate? The pirate says, "Aye, aye!"
The French says, "Oui, oui!" - A pirate captain says to his first mate... Where are my buccaneers?
Aye Cap'n, they're the sides of your buccan' head! - So the Jamaican said to the Arab.. "Aye where you from? You from tha beach mon?" The Arab replied "Yemen!'
- A pirate captain says to his 3 crewmates, "Let's learn Roman numerals!" The first one says, "Aye."
The second one adds, "Aye aye."
The third one finishes, "Aye aye aye." - A friend of mine got married on top of a mountain last year. Aye they say it was all downhill from there.
- My son asked if I could help him with his math homework. He said "Do I know the square root of minus 1?" I said "aye"
- What do you say to a pirate with two eyes? Aye aye captain.
What do you say if they only have one?
Aye captain.
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Aye One Liners
Which aye one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with aye? I can suggest the ones about nope and yea.
- What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? Aye Matey!
- What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? Aye matey
- 'How old arr you?' asked one of the pirate's sailors. The pirate replied, 'Aye matey.'
- Don't run with bagpipes. You could put an aye out. Or worse yet, get kilt.
- Yesterday I met a pirate that wouldn't stop telling me about his age. Aye matey.
- Why do pirates love reddit? Aye, tis the best place to trade stolen content for gold!
- How do pirates prefer to communicate? Aye to Aye!
- What do you call two pirates who agree with each other? Two people that see aye to aye
- Why couldn't the robot pirate acknowledge his crew? He was waiting on an aye patch.
- What does a Pirate say on his Eightieth birthday? AYE MATEY!
- Why can't the pirate be subordinate to the captain? Because he's missing the second aye.
- Why did the pirates fall out? They couldn't see aye to aye
- Why do lawyers love pirates? Because they make the best aye witnesses
- What's a pirates favorite monkey? An Aye-aye, Captain.
- How do pirates agree with each other over long distances? With their aye-phones.
Delightful Fun Aye Jokes for a Roaring Good Time
What funny jokes about aye you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean aha jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make aye pranks.
This is true: I picked up a pack of ear plugs at work today and it had three in the pack
The maintenance guy said that's the Spock pack
Me: Spock pack?
Maint: aye; one for the left ear, one for the right ear - and one for the final front ear
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Scotsman moves to London
How's the flat you're living in in London, Jock? asks his mother when he calls home to Aberdeen.
It's okay, he replies, but the woman next door keeps screaming and crying all night and the guy on the other side keeps b**... his head on the wall.
Never you mind, says his mother, don't you let them get to you, just ignore them.
Aye, that I do, he says, I just keep playing my bagpipes.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Atheism is a non-prophet organization
As the storm raged,the captain realized his ship was sinking fast.
So he shouted out, "Anyone here know how to pray?"
Just o**... stepped forward and said, "Aye, captain,I know how to pray."
"Good,"said the captain, "You pray while the rest of us put on our life jackets - we're one short."
A Newcastle girl goes into a hair salon
The stylist says "Why aye lass, what do yee want?"
"Can I have a perm please?" says the customer. The stylist responds:
*Ah wandered lernley as a cloud that flerts on high oer vales an' hills...*
Two tugboat captains have been friends for years.
They would always cry, "Aye!" and blow their whistles whenever they passed each other.
A new crewman asked his boat's mate, "What do they do that for?"
The mate looked surprised and replied, "You mean that you've never heard of ... an aye for an aye?"
Two archers are sipping pints in a pub.
The first archer says, "Did you see the new leathersmith? He's a beast of a man with eyes as black as night."
To which the second archer replies, "Aye, he makes me quiver".
In the words of Bill Murray...
An Irish man knocks on the door of an old lady, he says he's broke and looking for work. The old lady says "Sure, I'll pay you to paint my porch." So she gives the Irish man some paint and he leaves.
One hour later the man comes back, "Are you already done?" the lady asked, "Aye." said the Irish man, "But it's not a porch it's a Mazda."
Best toast in all of Ireland
John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me
Life, between the legs of me wife!"
That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!
He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the best toast of
The night."
She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?"
John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside
Me wife."
"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.
The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street
Corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other
Night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary."
She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's
Only been in there twice in the last four years. "Once I had to pull him by
The ears to make him come, and the other time he fell asleep".
My favourite joke
So a guy goes into a pub, walks up to the bar and asks for a pint.
The barman replies: one pound please. The guy says back: only one pound?!
The barman replies: aye only a pound.
The guy takes his pint and enjoys it and after a few more pints at a pound each the guy feels cheeky.
The guy says: ill have a steak and chips mate.
The barman replies: three quid.
The guy then asked: do you own this pub?
The barman replies: no.
The guy then asked: wheres the boss then? I want to ask why the prices are so low.
The barman replies: he's upstairs with my wife.
The guy then asked: why? Whats he doing with your wife?
The barman replies: the same thing i'm doing to his business.
John O'Reilly hoisted his beer...
John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said,
"Here'sto spending the rest of me Life,
Between the legs of me wife!"
That won him the top prize at the pub for the best
Toast of the night!
He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the
Prize for the Best toast of The night."
She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?"
John said,
"Here's to spending the rest of me life,
Sitting in church beside me wife."
"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.
The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking
Buddies on the street Corner. The man chuckled
Leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other
night at The pub with a toast about you, Mary."
She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit
surprised myself. You know, he's only been in
there twice in the last four years. "Once I had to pull him by
the ears to make him come, and the other time he fell
asleep".
Scottish man at the ranch
A scottish man is visiting a texas oilman. They spend hours touring the ranch; it's an enormous property. Eventually the oilman brags, "I can jump in my car and drive until sun down. I'd never hit the edge of my claim!". The scotsman replies, "Aye, I had a car like that once too".
John sees a "boat for sale" sign and decides to go take a look...
Behind the sign the there is only an old tractor and a beat up truck, so he goes to the door and an old newfie answers.
John says "I'm interested in the boat you have for sale"
The newfie looks confused and says "no bye, I ain't got no boat for sale."
"But" John says, "you have a sign out by that old truck and tractor..."
"Aye," replies the newfie, "and dere boat for sale!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Scottish guy announced to his mate that he was getting married...
I'll write this down phonetically, so use your best Scottish accent:
"Ahm gettin married next week."
"Are ye wearin a kilt?"
"Aye, ahm weerin a kilt."
"Wha's the tartin?"
"She's in a w**... dress."
A Canadian visits a small church while on holiday in Scotland.
The Canadian is intrigued by the intricately carved pulpit and, being something of a history buff, would like to know more about it so approaches the little old vicar.
"Excuse me sir, would you be so kind as to tell me what the pulpit is made of?"
"Aye. Wood."
"You would?"
"Nay yew, is oak."
"Oak? Eh?"
"Glad to have helped."
Kelly hobbled in to the bar on a crutch with one arm in a cast.
My god! What happened to you?" the bartender asked.
I got in a tiff with Riley.
Riley? He's just a wee fellow" the barkeep said, surprised. "He must have had something in his hand.
That he did" Kelly said, A shovel it was.
Dear Lord. Didn't you have anything in your hand?"
Aye, that I did….Mrs. Riley's right breast" Kelly said. "And a beautiful thing it was, but not much use in a fight.
Are you ready kids? AYE AYE CAPTAIN! I can't hear youuuu! AYE AYE CAPTAIN! Ohhhhhh, who lives with a GPA under a C?
CO-LLEGE STU-DENTS
Who's living with stress induced anxiety? CO-LLEGE STU-DENTS!
If wanting to drop out is something you wish...CO-LLEGE STU-DENTS
Then take a long nap and watch some Netflix!
COLLEGE STUDENTS, COLLEGE STUDENTS, COLLEGE STUDENTS, COLLEEEEGGEEEEE STUUUDEEEEEEEENTSSSSSS!
A British cab driver pulls up to the airport...
He sees a man waiting for a cab. The man has three eyes, no arms, and only one leg.
The cab driver says to him "Aye, aye, aye. You look 'armless. Hop in!"
A pirate named Ronny gets promoted to First Mate.
Ronny is pondering life one day as hes giving the captain a shave.
"I'm not a very good pirate," he says to the captain. "I can't navigate and I don't know how to fight. I don't even sound like a pirate. Is there a reason you chose me as first mate?"
"Aye Ronny," says the captain.
The Scotsman
A Scotsman was walking down the street in his traditional Scottish attire when he saw a couple of women talking and giggling,
As he approached one of the women asked " is it true the you dont wear anything under your kilt?"
"Aye, why dont you have a peek and find out for yourself"
So the woman lifted his kilt just enough to see his "business" and said "oh thats gruesome"
The Scotsman replied "I think if you'll check again, you'll see its grew some more"
First post, heard this in a song recently, got a good chuckle from it personally
I think it helps to read with a Scottish accent
An Irishman walks into a bar with a steering wheel down his pants.
An Irishman walks into a bar with a steering wheel down his pants.
The bartender says, Is that a steering wheel down your pants?
The Irishman replies, Aye, it's drivin' me nuts!
George and Mildred
It was a pleasant, sunny afternoon in the park, full of Sunday revelers. George and Mildred were sitting together on a park bench, feeding the ducks. Mildred turned to George and said: "You know George, we've been together 29 years now, don't you think its about time we were getting married?"
George stared reflectively into the distance and replied, "Aye, Lass, but who would have us?"
Three witches are standing around a bubbling caldron.
The first witch tastes the brew. "It needs an eye of newt," she says.
"Agreed" says the second.
"Aye," says the newt.
"Perfect," says the third.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man runs into an old salty sea captain on the docks of Boston harbor and says,
"Cap'm, can't help but noticin'...you got a steerin' wheel secures to yer c**... there." Sea captain removes the pipe from 'tween his teeth and says, "Aye. It's drivin' me nuts."
A Spanish pirate walks into a bar...
A Spanish pirate walks into a bar, and he appears down in the dumps. The bartender notices this and asks,
"Aye, what'll ye be havin'?"
"Agua, por favor."
"Hm, whatever floats yer boat, lad."
"...Sí."
So a pirate walks into a grocery store...
And he asks for blubber. The clerk is amazed to see a pirate and exclaims "Are you *really* a pirate!?"
"Aye, matey."
"Whale: aisle B!" replied the surprised-yet-helpful clerk.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A couple pirate jokes
(Couple good misdirection jokes)
You: What's a pirates favorite military branch?
Friend:ARRRMY
You: No yee d**..., it's the coast guard.
You:What's a pirates favorite letter?
Friend:ARRRR
You: Aye, you think it be arr but it's the SEA! (C)
You:What's a pirates favorite fast food restaurant?
Friend:ARRRBYS
You: No. It's Long John Silver's.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Seamus walked into the pub, sat down at his usual table...
...and proudly announced, Drinks are on me tonight, boys.
His pals looked at each other, knowing that Seamus was very tight with his wallet. Michael spoke up, Are ye OK?
Seamus clapped him on the shoulder and said, Aye, Mikey, I'm just fine. Last night, while I was here with you lads, someone broke into me house.
p**... said, Yer joking! Did he get anything?
Seamus smiled and said, Two black eyes, a busted lip, and a boot to the nuts. The wife thought it was me coming home drunk.
Ten horses walk out of a bar. They see another horse getting mugged by a big scary dude in an alleyway. The horses are unsure if they should intervene. One brave horse says, "Let's put it to a vote! If you want to help him, say aye!"
They don't help him.
Some pirates are sailing off the coast of Madagascar
The captain points to the shore and says to his first mate:
"Do you see those crazy looking lemur things?"
To which the first mate replied:
"Aye aye, I eye aye-aye"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
in india, muslim guy used to get divorce just bay saying the word 'talaq' 3 times. i found a joke based on it.
Wife: What I really hate about this house is the lack...
Husband: the lack....
Wife: the lack!
Husband: the lack?
Wife: yeah the lack of...
Husband: the lack o-
Wife: aye Dobby has no master. Dobby is a free elf
Husband: Damnnnnnn Fatima.
An Irishman walks into a Bar
An Irishman walks into a bar with a steering wheel shoved down the front of his pants. The bartender takes a look at him and asks, what's the deal with that steering wheel?
The Irishman responds " Aye, Its driving me nuts"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What doya call an Irishmann with no arms nor leggs hangin from yer ceilin'?
Sean DuLier
(Not original content, but aye couldn't fynd it heahr)
Dear SoundCloud rappers who shout "aye you already know who it isssssss"
No we do not.
sincerely, the general population
Aye girl, are you binary?
Because i'd like to put my 1 next to your 0.
I know, I know... Too nerdy and not a great joke, I came up with it last night. 0 laughed at it but I was hoping at least 1 would.
So a young man walks into a bar in Ireland.
He goes up to the counter to ask for a drink, but the old town drunk spots him, wondering who he is.
So he walks up to him and says, "Are you Irish, boy?" and the man responds, "Aye, half."
Then old timer says, "Oh ya, what's the other half?"
and the man says to the bartender, "Guinness"
What did the Pirate say when he did a T-pose?
Aye matey
A couple of Scottish lads were out one night and they pass a small sign for a comedy act.
One friend squints to read it and says, "come on, let's check this out"
The other friend turns to him and says, "Aye, don't go in. He's not funny."
"How d'ya know, have you seen him before?" asks the enquisitive friend.
"Probably." he says, pointing at the tiny sign, "Look, he's a wee poster."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two Irishmen sitting by the road...
Two Irishmen are sitting by the road when a truck loaded with rolls of turf (sod) drives past.
"Aye, p**.... That's what I'm going to do when I'm rich."
"What's that then Declan?"
"I'm going to send my grass away to be mowed."
Great Scot!
Waiter: Are you here for a special occasion?
Campbell: Aye, we won the third prize in the annual Robert Burns contest... A haggis dinner for two.
Waiter: What were the other prizes?
Campbell: Second prize was a single haggis dinner, and if you won the first prize, you didnae have to eat the haggis.
A Scotsman goes into a bar...
Sits at the table and orders 4 pints of Innis & Gunn.
Waiter says: 4 pints?
Aye, me lads have all moved away and we toast each other by drinking a pint for each of us.
A few days later he comes back in and orders 3 pints.
The waiter says oh no sorry for the loss of your friend.
The Scotsman says Ack, no nobody died, I just quit drinking.
What did the British guy say to the hitchhiker with three eyes, one leg, and no arms?
Aye, Aye, Aye! You look 'armless! Hop in!
- Jackie forever
if Canadians say "aye" and Mexicans say "si"...
does that mean Americans say "b"?
Edgar (His nickname is, 'E') was a good man.
One day he gave me 20 bucks. I said, "Aye, E. I owe you."
What do you call a pirate who solves mysteries?
A pirate aye!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A pirate crew is fleeing from a whaling ship
One pirate swabbie asks, "This be the whaling ship driven by the w**... with two vaginas?"
The pirate says, "Aye, we best be wary of har poons."
What did they call the Mexican cleaning robot?
Aye CaRoomba
"So, how was your week off ill?", asked the co-worker to his Scottish counterpart.
"Aye, was okay lad, but it was only a wee cough".
On a pirate's birthday, I asked him how old he was
His response: "Aye matey"
A mysterious force drug a pirate ship closer to the Bermuda Triangle, alarming the captain.
The captain asked the lookout in the the crow's nest what he saw.
The lookout replied, "Captain, we be sailing tangent to stormy seas. It be a sine the secant be good."
The captain responded, "Aye, the sea put this here crew in a triggy situation."
Did you hear the one about the two guys who voted no?
Neither did aye.
What is a pirates favourite part of a fish?
The aye
Quick, make a self-reference!
Aye!
Also thought about using "Me?" as the punchline, but then it sounded too much like the 'two pronouns' joke. Also, wouldn't have made it a pun.
What's a Scotsman's favourite type of boat?
Ach aye canoe!
English spelling is actually easy and very logical
And aye no aye'm write.
You know your kid's going to be a pirate when he grows up
if you hear him say to his friend "I know you Arr! But what am aye?"
How do black people say their vowels?
Aye E, I owe you...
So i was thinking of making a documentary on SoundCloud Rappers...
I was gonna call it "Fifty Shades of AYE"
What does a Mexican say when he goes to jail in Africa?
Aye aye aye
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was in a taxi the other day
Driver says to me you ever been caught w**... behind a refrigerator
I said most definitely not
He says good spot aye
My dog named Minton aye my shuttlecock...
Bad Minton!
