Axes Jokes
9 axes jokes and hilarious axes puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about axes that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Heartwarming Axes Jokes that Make You Laugh
What is a good axes joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
How to impress women
A guy walks into a bar carrying a couple of axes and orders a beer. "What've ya got there?" the bartender asks. "Oh, these are some of my new axes I bought online," the guy says. "I order them in from countries overseas. I just love how they smell." "Well, that's all fine and good, I guess. But why did you bring them to the bar?" the bartender asks. "To be honest I was hoping to meet women," the guy replies. "I hear they love foreign axe scents."
FBI Investigation.
The phone rings at the FBI headquarters.
"Hello? I'm calling to report my neighbor, Clifford. He is hiding m**... inside his firewood!"
"Thank you very much for the call, Sir."
The next day, FBI agents descend on the neighbor's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes the they bust open every piece of wood, but finds no m**.... They swear at the neighbors and leave. The phone rings at the neighbors house.
"Hey Clifford, did the FBI come?"
"Yep"
"Did they chop the wood?"
"Yep"
"Great, now it's your turn to call. i need my garden plowed."
Who said r**... aren't real smart?
"Hello, is this here the Sheriff's Office?"
"Yes. What can I do for you?"
"I'm calling to report my neighbor, Virgil Smith. He's drillin' holes in his farwood and hiding m**... inside!"
"Thank you very much for the call, sir."
The next day, the Sheriff & his deputies descend on Virgil's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept.
Using axes, they split every piece of wood, but find no m**.... They sneer at Virgil and leave.
The phone rings at Virgil's house. "Hey, Virgil! This here is Floyd. Did the Sheriff come?"
"Yeah!"
"Did they split yer farwood?"
"Yep!"
"Happy Birthday, buddy!"
Why are three-dimensional objects so good at cutting down trees?
They have three axes.
What does an academic dwarf call his axes?
x and y.
Why was the spreadsheet afraid of its chart?
Because it has multiple axes.
How do math teachers chop wood?
With axes
Did you hear the one about the socialist country music-loving lumberjack?
All his axes came from taxes.
What do you call it when a bear makes a complete rotation on both its longitudinal and lateral axes, causing it to follow a helical path?
A bearl roll.
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