Awww Jokes
20 awww jokes and hilarious awww puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about awww that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Awww Short Jokes
Short awww jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The awww humour may include short jokes also.
- Today I saw a little boy wearing rags sitting on a curb I said, "Awww, are you an orphan"?
He said, "Yes, what gave me away?"
I said, "Your parents." - My girlfriend asked me with how many girls I've slept with "Only with you babe..." I replied
"Awww, really?"
"...Yeah, with the others I stayed awake." - Love Girl: what do you think of our love
Me: count the stars
Girl: awww.... its infinite
Me: no, its a waste of time. - A girl met a guy at the subway G: Everytime you smile I feel like calling you over to my place
B: awww... Are you single?
G: No I'm a dentist - Comeback Joke * nerds phone rings in class *
Cool Guy - awww, was that your mommy?
* whole class laughs *
Nerd Guy - nope, it was yours.
* whole class is silent * - Me: Would you like to be the sun in my life? Her: Awww... Yes!!!
Me: Good then stay 92.96 million miles away from me - I told my girlfriend she has a lot in common with cigarettes. "awww is because you are addicted to me?" she replied
I said "no, you are costing me a fortune whilst slowly killing me" - A recent study has shown you should NOT vaccinate kittens It increases their risk of awww-tism
- Boy rockss Boyfriend: Can you be the moon of my life?
Girlfriend: Awww Yes sweetheart...!
Boyfriend:Great!then stay 9,955,887.6 away from me..!! :P - What did the little girl say when opened up a box of Cheerios? Awww, look daddy, doughnut seeds!!!
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Awww Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about awww you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make awww pranks.
After my wife had given birth to our baby, the nurse asked me, "Do you have a name yet?" I said, "Yes. Steve." She giggled, "Awww! That's a lovely name!" I replied, "Thanks."
"But what do you think we should call the baby?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Awwww
If you watch Jaws backwards it is a heartwarming story about a shark who gives arms & legs to disabled people.
My dad's take on 35 years of marriage.
Me: "Mom and Dad, how does it feel to have been married for 35 years?"
Dad: "Well, it only seems like it's been 5 minutes..."
Mom: "Awww!"
Dad: "...Underwater."
So this drunk guy stumbles up to a cop...
And says, excuse me officer I lost my car and the officer says, well where did you see it last?
Guy: it was right here on the end of my key
Officer: Alright well head down to the station and they'll set you up with the proper paperwork, but before you go, you might want to zip up your fly
The man looks down and says, Awww man they got my girl too!
Dad on his death bed: Son, I have to tell you something
Son under his breath: I bet I'm adopted
Dad: You were ado...
Dad dies
Son: Knew it
Dad wakes up: You were adorable as a baby
Dad dies
Son: Awww, thats so sweet
Dad wakes up: That's why we adopted you
"Awww... your baby is cute!"
...I said to a woman with a stroller one day.
"How old is he?" I asked.
"Well, my friend, little Johnny here is 18 months old!" she replied, motioning to her baby. "Also, I'm sorry to bother you, but what time is it?"
"Sure. It's eighty-three thousand, four hundred thirty-two seconds past midnight."
Some low-level mafia thugs are playing cards... [long-ish]
One of them says, "Where's Joey? He never misses poker night."
His friend says, "Oh, didn't you hear? Joey's dead."
"Awww, that's a shame. How did he die?"
"Well, he went to the doctor last week and found out he had gonorrhoea."
"So? Gonorrhoea isn't fatal."
"It is if you give it to the boss's wife."
A husband comes home one day and tells his wife he found Aladdin's lamp...
Wife: Oh my god, you're SO LUCKY! What did you wish for darling?
Husband: I asked him to increase your brain ten times.
Wife: Awww, you're so sweet baby! And did it work?
Husband: He laughed and said multiplication doesn't apply on zero.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did h**... say to his jewish friend schwitz when he couldnt come to his birthday party?
Awww schwitz!
Give me two good reasons
Today, all schools reopened after a long summer vacation.
In one home in our neighbourhood, early this morning, a mother went to her sleeping son and woke him up, Wake up, son. It's time to go to school.
SON : Awww Mom! I don't want to go to school.
MOM : Give me two good reasons why you don't want to go to school??
SON : "One, all the children hate me.
Two, all the teachers hate me!!
MOM : Oh! that's not a reason darling. Come on, you have to go to school.
SON : OK. You give me two good reasons, WHY I should go to school?
MOM : One, you are FIFTY-TWO years old, and should understand your responsibilities!
Two You are the 'PRINCIPAL' of the school "😂
A mother tries to convince her son to go to school
Early one morning a mother went to her sleeping son and woke him up, Wake up, son. It's time to go to school.
Son: Awww Mom! I don't want to go to school.
Mom: Give me two reasons why you don't want to go to school.
Son:
One, all the children hate me.
Two, all the teachers hate me.
Mom: Oh, that's not a reason. Come on, you have to go to school.
Son: Okay, you give me two good reasons why I should go to school!"
Mom:
One,
you are FIFTY-TWO years old,
And should understand your responsibilities.
Two,
You're the principal of the school! "