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Awkward Jokes

142 awkward jokes and hilarious awkward puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about awkward that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

If you're looking for a little awkward hilarity, look no further! This article is sure to make you laugh out loud as you read about the awkward moments and jokes that will really hit close to home. From awkward uncles to distant funerals, you won't be able to contain the laughter brought on by these awkward and stupid jokes.

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Funniest Awkward Short Jokes

Short awkward jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The awkward humour may include short uncomfortable jokes also.

  1. My nerdy friend just got a phd on the history of palindromes. We now call him Dr. Awkward.
  2. I told god a holocaust joke. He didn't laugh. after a moment of awkward silence, I said: "Well I guess you should have been there".
  3. My 9 year old son has started asking awkward questions about the human body... I suppose the freezer wasn't the best place to hide it.
  4. A lot of people call # a Hashtag but back in my day it was the pound sign which makes the movement #MeToo a bit awkward
  5. Really awkward pick-up line. Me: You look like my first wife.
    Her: (surprised) How many wives have you had?
    Me: None
    *wedding music starts playing*
  6. What do you call a clever, socially awkward, bisexual hippie with fancy neckwear who streams Star-Trek? A shy, wry, bi guy in a fly tie and tie dye watching sci-fi on wifi.
    Credits: my bud
  7. It's awkward touching hands with a woman in a popcorn bag. Especially if you don't know her and she doesn't know that you're eating her popcorn.
  8. That awkward moment when the woman you're dancing with bends over so you can grind it... But it turns out she just dropped an earing, and no one else in McDonald's can hear the music on your iPod.
  9. A son goes up to his dad and says Hey uh, dad I really don't know how to tell you this but uh…. I'm, uh, gay.
    *very long and awkward silence
    Dad: Hi uh, gay I'm dad
  10. I introduced my mouse to my keyboard today... It was awkward at first, but then they just clicked.

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Awkward One Liners

Which awkward one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with awkward? I can suggest the ones about weird and really embarrassing.

  1. David was hard at work... it was really quite awkward for his coworkers.
  2. That awkward movement when you... read movement as moment.
  3. What does a socially awkward and depressed frog say? Reddit.!
  4. What's the worst part about Necrophilia? The awkward silence.
  5. My yoga instructor came to the yoga session drunk today He put me in an awkward position
  6. Why are Titanic themed parties so awkward? They lack good icebreakers!
  7. My girlfriend bought me the Kama Sutra last week... ...it put me in an awkward position.
  8. Why are penguins socially awkward? Because they can't break the ice.
  9. You scream, I scream.... The cops come, its awkward.
  10. I like Jesus... but he loves me, so it's awkward.
  11. How does a tree handle an awkward situation? It leaves.
  12. I hate family holiday's It's awkward being around all my ex's
  13. I met my wife on tinder. It was super awkward.
  14. If all dogs go to heaven... Its going to be real awkward if michael vick goes there too.
  15. What do you get when you cross a dinosaur and an awkward white kid? A Michaelceratops

That Awkward Moment Jokes

Here is a list of funny that awkward moment jokes and even better that awkward moment puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • That awkward moment when your girlfriend and side chick are both pregnant... ...and you realize you have to tell your wife.
  • I had an awkward moment with my english teacher. Apparently pathetic fallacy has nothing to do with erectile dysfunction.
  • That awkward moment when... ... you realise the entire run of "How I Met Your Mother" was one big Ted talk!
  • That awkward moment when your child looks to you for wisdom and you're like, "Honey, I don't even know what day of the week it is."
  • Big Math Problem That awkward moment when your entire Math class is discussing whether the result is 15 or 16 and your answer is -1053.
  • The awkward moment. The awkward moment when you go to church and accidentally sit beside your ex, and pastor says ' turn to you neighbour and say..... 'Its not yet over'...
  • Act normal, you didn't steal anything That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything and all you can think is "act natural, you're innocent".
  • Life is the... ... awkward moment between birth and death
  • When Relatives Attack There is nothing more awkward than the moment you realize you're getting a double-cheek kiss.
  • That awkward moment when you're in a meeting and your stomach decides to sound like a dying whale.

That Awkward Moment When Jokes

Here is a list of funny that awkward moment when jokes and even better that awkward moment when puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • That awkward moment when somebody is doing dishes and you put another dish in the sink.
  • Make-up... The awkward moment when you can wipe out 95% of her beauty with a wet napkin
  • Awkward That awkward when you read "moment" even though it wasn't there.
  • The Awkward Moment When Your Dog has Girlfriend and you still Single
  • wtc that awkward moment when your crush asks who your crush is
  • Toys these days That awkward moment when your toys make three movies behind your back.
    -Andy

Awkward Silence Jokes

Here is a list of funny awkward silence jokes and even better awkward silence puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My hairdresser asked me how I wanted my hair cut Me : Anything that will make me look good
    hairdresser : oh uhm *awkward silence* I can try
  • When I was a little kid, I would wait up all night waiting for santa to come. Then there was an awkward silence when he got up, put his pants on, and left.
  • Einstein quietly lays in bed next to a obviously disappointed partner.. After a few minutes of awkward silence he turns to her and says, "You see, it was fast to you..."
  • A couple goes on a hot air balloon ride Guy: "Do you want to marry me?"
    Her: "No"
    5 hours of awkward silence
  • Chuck Norris once starred in Wheel of Fortune.
    The last twenty nine minutes were spent in an awkward silence, waiting for the wheel to stop spinning.
Awkward joke

Fun-Filled Awkward Jokes to Boost Your Mood

What funny jokes about awkward you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean unpleasant jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make awkward pranks.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

My best friend got mad at me because he caught me sniffing his sister's p**...

It didn't help that she was still wearing them.
Or that his whole family was there.
That made the rest of his sister's f**... kind of awkward.
And who thought you could make the f**... for such a small child more awkward than it already was..

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

The first time I had s**..., it was in my parent's bedroom. My girlfriend giggled nervously and moaned, This is a bit awkward.


I grunted, Just ignore them.

So I just had a very awkward conversation with a bulimic over lunch.

It's safe to say; that didn't go down very well.

Try this on someone

say to them "Ive got a great knock knock joke for you but you have to start"
most likely their response will be "Okay, knock knock"
you then say "Who's there?"
They will usually be terribly confused and a hilarious awkward silence ensues

I had to quit my job as a Microsoft delivery man

It got awkward telling people I was giving word to their mother.

It's a good thing that squidward doesn't have two more tentacles...

Because then it would be octward.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

When I was a teenager, I'd lock myself in my bedroom for hours every night...

One night, my dad kicked the door open to find out what I was doing. He walked in to discover me sitting on my hand.
"Ah, that old trick," he laughed. I gave an awkward smile back.
"I have to say, son," he continued, "I'm relieved to be honest. I thought you might've been doing something weird. I'll leave you to it."
When he closed the door behind him, I just shrugged my shoulders and carried on f**... myself

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Well, this is awkward...

A priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar. They both look left and right and to their surprise see nothing but Mexicans. After this moment of confusion, the Rabbi turns to the priest and says "You know what? I think we're in the wrong joke...."

the most awkward time in my life

Was when I locked my keys in my car and had to walk into the nearby abortion clinic to ask to borrow a coat hanger.

Socially awkward people would probably make great geologists

cause they're always staring at the ground.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Best friend

My best friend caught me looking up his sister's skirt, which made the rest of her f**... pretty awkward

A socially awkward guy at a party...

...never knows what to say to women. So a friend suggests asking them if they're married, have any kids.
"Are you married?"
"No."
"um...have any kids...?" She gives him a disgusted look, walks away.
He thinks to himself, maybe I did that wrong, let me try it again.
"Have any kids?"
"Yes."
"Are you married...?"

I'm at an awkward weight

I'm fat enough to not look good with my shirt off, but not fat enough for it to become part of my charm.
I'm caught between a rock and a lard place.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

"Do you know how awkward you are?"

"Good, you?"

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

I found my dad sniffing my sister's underwear.

It wouldn't have been that awkward had she not been wearing them at the time.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Watching a s**... scene with my parents is so awkward.

My mom is such a bad actress.

Family reunions must be really awkward in the south...

Especially when you see your exes there

What's the difference between the cries of a grieving family and reggae music?

I would feel awkward dancing to reggae music.

What's the difference between awkward and awful?

Awkward is finding your mom on Tinder, awful is matching with her

In awkward situations I'll sometimes break out my braille version of Calvin and Hobbes.

You know - comic relief.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

I'm pregnant...

A girl calls her boyfriend nervously. "j**..., I'm pregnant..." There's a long pause before the boy replies"...hi pregnant, I'm dad." Another awkward paid follows before she replies "Actually..."

Hillary Clinton has a seizure during the debate...

"Mrs. Clinton," the Moderator asks, "What is your plan to lower the national debt?"
Suddenly, Hillary flails her arms around, rolls her eyes wildly, foams at the mouth, and gibbers incoherently for several awkward minutes. Finally, she collapses in a heap and soils herself.
"Hey!" Trump interrupts, "Is she allowed to just steal my answer like that??"

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Why isn't there golf in the Paralympics?

Because it would be really awkward asking what their handicap was.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

My girlfriend told my friends that it's awkward when I fall asleep while having s**......

...I then told them that it's more awkward when she wakes up.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

I have a Muslim friend with a Note 7...

It only gets awkward when he shouts "Allahu Akbar" when plugging it in.

that awkward feeling. when you are sitting on the toilet and forgot to lock the door and your boss walks in...

and your pants are up.

I went to a 4-year olds birthday party once, it was kinda awkward...

...probably because I wasn't invited...

"May I sleep with your sister?" is such an awkward question to ask.

I have no idea how my dad is going to respond.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

My wife and I went to see a marriage counsellor.

The woman said, "How many times a week do the two of you have s**...?"
My wife said, "One or two."
Things got awkward when I said, "Five or six."

If I locked my keys in my car outside of a abortion clinic...

Would it be awkward to go inside and ask for a wire hanger?

You know how awkward it is when you take her hand in yours, squeeze it, but still wonder...

...where the rest of the body is?

My friend and his wife found each other on a dating website,

Three years after marriage. That was awkward.

A group of satanists have a meeting when one sneezes.

Then it got really awkward when someone said "God bless you."

A lawyer and a doctor area at a cocktail party

A person comes up to the doctor and asks about a symptom he's been having lately. The gives him some advice and turns to the lawyer.
It's always awkward when people ask me for my professional opinion in a casual setting. Do you think it's ok if I charge them?
Absolutely says the lawyer. I think it's perfectly fine.
The following week the doctor then gets a bill from the attorney.

I was at dinner with my girlfriends family

She said "Pass the salt, daddy".
It got really awkward when her father and I both reached for it...

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Grandpa's Birthday

So my grandfather turned 90 last weekend, and my uncle, the class act that he is, thought it'd be a good idea to get a stripper one night, after we had the guys golf trip.
So she shows up, it's a bit awkward at first, but she's affable and it makes it a slightly better situation.
Eventually she goes up to the birthday boy and asks him "Do you want a super l**...?"
Grandpa thought long and hard and finally spoke up, "I guess I'll have the soup!"

My wife and I were deciding whether we wanted a third child

Which is a bit awkward because he's 5.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

My husband called and asked if I could be n**... before he gets home from work...

...I feel awkward sitting here with his mother, but whatever.

The iPhone 8/10 unveiling was pretty great

But the 9/11 announcement will be pretty awkward and unforgettable next year

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Prince Harry and William must feel so awkward in a s**... club

Imagine having to put pictures of your gran into a stripper's bra

My therapist says I'm socially awkward because I misinterpret what people say to me...

I'm pretty sure she wants me

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

I'm really thankful that Disney/Pixar brought us Toy Story

It means I can go to Toys R Us and walk out with a w**... without it being awkward.

I learned an evil magic spell to make readers feel great despair with only 3 words.

Awkward childhood memories.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Just walked in on my parents having s**......

Most awkward 45 minutes of my life.

My son entered the bathroom during my morning shower time.

Soon, we had that awkward "Why is *yours* bigger than *mine*?"-conversation...
He said: "Dad! I don't know... I'm only ten!"

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

My window cleaner caught me m**... today. It was awkward.

Maybe I shouldn't have been standing in his garden.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

What do you say after s**... to make it awkward?

Do you have a washcloth? My dog usually cleans me up.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

That awkward moment when you're having s**... with a German girl and she keeps yelling "Nine!"

Like, are you just yelling your age or are ten of us too many?

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

What do you call s**... between two insecure deaf people?

An awkward silence

Prince Harry's bachelor party had to be pretty awkward.

He was putting pictures of his grandma in a strippers G string.

I've recently come into some money.

It really felt awkward handing it over to the cashier.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

The Polish couple next door to me have 3 children

I asked them why they stopped after three and they said because one out of every four children born is Chinese, and wanted to avoid all the awkward questions.

I was walking a girl home last night, and at some point, things got a little awkward.

She turned around, and saw me walking her home.

Why did the social awkward man never go to the second storey of his house ?

He couldn't handle the stairs.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Don't believe everything you read in public toilets

Don't believe everything you read in public toilets. Sharon is not up for a good time. What an awkward phone call that was...

My brother is illiterate

It was his 16th birthday party this past weekend, and boy was it awkward. He just couldn't read the room.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

A pair of twins walk into a bar...

A pair of twins walk into a bar.
A man walks up to them and asks:
"So is it true that twins can communicate telepathically"
They look at each other in silence for about 30 seconds when the man says:
"I'm sorry if that was an awkward question, it was s**... of me to ask"
They respond in unison "No it's fine, we were just discussing an answer to give you"

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

It was a bad idea doing tacos the night before the big meeting. Everyone looked shocked when I accidentally f**... loudly.

I looked back at them, just as shocked. After a moment, I broke the awkward silence, and said,
"Did you hear that a**... talking s**... behind my back?"

Don't believe everything you read in public toilets

Sharon was not up for a good time and it was a very awkward phone call

Awkward joke, Don't believe everything you read in public toilets

jokes about awkward