Awkward Jokes

Following is our collection of uncomfortably humor and shy one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Awkward puns for adults, dirty clumsy jokes or clean difficult gags for kids.

There is an abundance of shrooms jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 54 funniest jokes on awkward. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any uncomfortable witze you can hear about awkward.

The Best jokes about Awkward

My nerdy friend just got a PhD on the history of palindromes.

We now call him Dr. Awkward.

My best friend got mad at me because he caught me sniffing his sister's panties

It didn't help that she was still wearing them.

Or that his whole family was there.

That made the rest of his sister's funeral kind of awkward.

And who thought you could make the funeral for such a small child more awkward than it already was..

The first time I had sex, it was in my parent's bedroom. My girlfriend giggled nervously and moaned, This is a bit awkward.


I grunted, Just ignore them.

A friend got mad at me for smelling his sister's underwear.

I don't know if it was because she was still wearing them or because the rest of the family was there. Either way it made the rest of the funeral very awkward.

I told god a Holocaust joke. He didn't laugh.

after a moment of awkward silence, I said: "Well I guess you should have been there".


That awkward moment when you're having sex with a German girl and she keeps yelling "Nine!"

Like, are you just yelling your age or are ten of us too many?

A lot of people call # a Hashtag but back in my day it was the pound sign

which makes the movement #MeToo a bit awkward

My husband called and asked if I could be naked before he gets home from work...

...I feel awkward sitting here with his mother, but whatever.

The first time I had sex was in my parents' bedroom

My girlfriend said "it's pretty awkward".

"Just ignore them", I said.

Watching a sex scene with my parents is so awkward.

My mom is such a bad actress.

My best friend got mad at me sniffing his sister's panties

It didn't help that they were still on her. Or that all of his family was there too. Needless to say it made the rest of the funeral really awkward.


During my annual physical, my doctor was going over the results of my blood work with me. After analyzing the results he looked up and told me I was going to need to quit masturbating.

I asked, *Why??*

He said, Because. I'm trying to complete your examination and you're making things really awkward right now.

What do you call a clever, socially awkward, bisexual hippie with fancy neckwear who streams Star-Trek?

A shy, wry, bi guy in a fly tie and tie dye watching sci-fi on wifi.

Credits: my bud

I have a Muslim friend with a Note 7...

It only gets awkward when he shouts "Allahu Akbar" when plugging it in.

David was hard at work...

it was really quite awkward for his coworkers.

Hillary Clinton has a seizure during the debate...

"Mrs. Clinton," the Moderator asks, "What is your plan to lower the national debt?"

Suddenly, Hillary flails her arms around, rolls her eyes wildly, foams at the mouth, and gibbers incoherently for several awkward minutes. Finally, she collapses in a heap and soils herself.

"Hey!" Trump interrupts, "Is she allowed to just steal my answer like that??"

Prince Harry and William must feel so awkward in a strip club

Imagine having to put pictures of your gran into a stripper's bra

I got caught sniffing underwear...

I got caught sniffing my friend's sister's underwear the other day,

What made it worse was she was still wearing them,

Made the rest of her funeral really awkward.

That awkward movement when you...

read movement as moment.


I recently received my PhD in palindromes.

I now go by Dr. Awkward

It's awkward touching hands with a woman in a popcorn bag.

Especially if you don't know her and she doesn't know that you're eating her popcorn.

My window cleaner caught me masturbating today. It was awkward.

Maybe I shouldn't have been standing in his garden.

I don't know how I feel about masturbation anymore...

On one hand, it's pretty good. On the other hand, it's a little awkward.

That awkward moment when the woman you're dancing with bends over so you can grind it...

But it turns out she just dropped an earing, and no one else in McDonald's can hear the music on your iPod.

I remember when I was younger lying there in bed waiting for Santa to come..

I also remember the awkward silence while waiting for him to get dressed and leave.

Why isn't there golf in the Paralympics?

Because it would be really awkward asking what their handicap was.

I introduced my mouse to my keyboard today...

It was awkward at first, but then they just clicked.

"Do you know how awkward you are?"

"Good, you?"

As a child I remember lying in bed with my eyes closed waiting for Santa to come.

Then there was the awkward silence as he got dressed and left.

What's the worst part about Necrophilia?

The awkward silence.

My friend and his wife found each other on a dating website,

Three years after marriage. That was awkward.

My friend got angry at me for sniffing his sister's panties.

It didn't help that they were still on her.

Or that their whole family was watching.

This made the rest of the funeral quite awkward.

Just walked in on my parents having sex...

Most awkward 45 minutes of my life.

That awkward moment when your girlfriend and side chick are both pregnant...

...and you realize you have to tell your wife.

Elevator confusion

A blonde and a brunette are on an elevator together and it stops to let a man on. The man is wearing a business suit and has obvious dandruff flakes on both shoulders. He says hello and gets out on the next floor. The women continues to ride in awkward silence when the brunette speaks up. She says, "Someone needs to give that guy some head and shoulders."
The blonde looks confused and replies. "How do you give a guy shoulders?"

Pilot to co-pilot

The Air Canada plane leaves Pearson Airport under the control of a Jewish captain; his co-pilot is Chinese.
It's the first time they've flown together and an awkward silence between
the two seems to indicate a mutual dislike.
Once they reach cruising altitude, the Jewish captain activates the
auto-pilot, leans back in his seat, and mutters,
'I don't like Chinese..'
'No rike Chinese?' asks the co-pilot, 'why not?'
'You people bombed Pearl Harbor , that's why!'
'No, no', the co-pilot protests, 'Chinese not bomb Peahl Hahbah!
That Japanese, not Chinese.'
'Japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese....doesn't matter, you're all alike!'
There's a few minutes of silence.
'I no rike Jews!' the co-pilot suddenly announces.
'Oh yeah, why not?' asks the captain.
'Jews sink Titanic!' says the co-pilot.
'What? You're insane! Jews didn't sink the Titanic!' exclaims the captain,
'It was an iceberg!'
Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg, Rosenberg , ..no mattah...all fukin same.

A man walks into the bar toilet, chooses a cabin, sits on the seat. He sees someone else's feet in the next cabin..

..not minding him and trying to evacuate his bowels, suddenly, the man right next to him says "Hi..". Our protagonist, startled by this totally unexpected awkward salutation responds "hi?"... then the man continues "how are you doing?" our man answers "doing fine, how about you?"... the other man says "what are you up to?" ... our protagonist says "well, I came here to drink a beer after work, and you?"... the other man then says, "sorry honey, I have to hang up. this idiot in the other cabin keeps answering my questions."

It's awkward when you get an erection during a prostate exam

And they realize you're not a doctor.

My cousin Fred wears lace underpants

My cousin Fred, who I had not seen for years, visited us during the holidays. After a good game of racquetball, I noticed in the shower that he was wearing frilly lace underwear.

It was kind of awkward, but on the drive home, curiosity got the better of me and I had to ask him: "Say Fred, I noticed you were wearing some lace underpants."

"Yeah, they are women's underpants."

"Oh - okay. I didn't know you were... er... since when did you start wearing that?"

"Well, ever since my wife found them in my glove compartment."

When I was a teenager, I'd lock myself in my bedroom for hours every night...

One night, my dad kicked the door open to find out what I was doing. He walked in to discover me sitting on my hand.

"Ah, that old trick," he laughed. I gave an awkward smile back.

"I have to say, son," he continued, "I'm relieved to be honest. I thought you might've been doing something weird. I'll leave you to it."

When he closed the door behind him, I just shrugged my shoulders and carried on fisting myself

A woman is cleaning out her husband's bedside table...

...and when she gets to the bottom drawer she finds 3 eggs and $3,458.

Confused, she asks her husband about it. He sighs, then says sadly, "You'd better sit down."

She sits, looking anxious. "We've been married for over 30 years", he starts, "and in that time, I've... well I've been unfaithful."

There's an awkward pause, then with tears in her eyes she asks, "What does that have to do with the eggs?" "Well," he explains "whenever I was unfaithful, I put an egg in the drawer."

"Well three times isn't that bad in 30 years, but what about the money?"

"Oh." the husband says, "Whenever I had a dozen eggs, I sold them."

The iPhone 8/10 unveiling was pretty great

But the 9/11 announcement will be pretty awkward and unforgettable next year

An awkward question!

A little boy walks in to the lounge one Sunday morning while his dad is reading the paper.

"Where does poo come from?" he asks.

The father feeling a little perturbed that his 5 year old son is already asking difficult questions thinks for a moment and says:

"Well you know we just ate breakfast?"

"Yes," answers the boy.

"Well the food goes into our tummies and our bodies take out all the good stuff, and then whatever is left over comes out of our bums when we go to the loo, and that is poo."

The little boy looks perplexed, and stares at him in stunned silence for a few seconds and asks: "And tigger?"

You know how awkward it is when you take her hand in yours, squeeze it, but still wonder...

...where the rest of the body is?

A group of satanists have a meeting when one sneezes.

Then it got really awkward when someone said "God bless you."

My wife and I went to see a marriage counsellor.

The woman said, "How many times a week do the two of you have sex?"

My wife said, "One or two."

Things got awkward when I said, "Five or six."

"May I sleep with your sister?" is such an awkward question to ask.

I have no idea how my dad is going to respond.

Why are Titanic themed parties so awkward?

They lack good icebreakers!

I remember as a child, lying awake at night on Christmas Eve waiting for Santa to come...

...then there was always that awkward silence as he got dressed and left.

My hairdresser asked me how I wanted my hair cut

Me : Anything that will make me look good

Hairdresser : oh uhm *awkward silence* I can try

John goes to Josh's apartment...

... but he wasn't home, and the person who answered the door was Kate, Josh's wife. She just got out of the shower, so she had a towel around her sexy, sexy body when she answered the door. After a little bit of small and awkward talking, John couldn't resist and told her:

"I will give you a thousand dollars right now if you drop that towel"

She thought about it for a second and thought "hey, a thousand dollars is a thousand dollars". She did what he asked, and was given the cash and John went back home.

A few hours later, Josh came home.

"Hey sweetheart! John dropped by earlier today."

"Oh, good! Did he bring the thousand dollars he owed me?"

I remember laying in bed as a child waiting for Santa Claus to come....

Then there was always that awkward silence afterwards as he put his pants on and left.

It's a good thing that squidward doesn't have two more tentacles...

Because then it would be octward.


(Awkward but combined with octo cuz he would then be an octopus)
Yes, I know it's stupid, but I thought of it myself.

What do you call a clever, socially awkward, bi sexual Hippie with fancy neckwear who streams Star-Trek?

A shy, wry, bi guy in a fly tie watching sci-fi on wifi.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes