Awe Jokes
36 awe jokes and hilarious awe puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about awe that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Awe Short Jokes
Short awe jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The awe humour may include short gasps jokes also.
- I don't understand why people are in awe when I tell them my grandfather survived Auschwitz. Most of the other German officers did too!
- "My brother was telling me he received a valentines day card today" "Awe, he must've been thrilled. "
"No, not really, it was from his cell mate. " - A doctors secretary walks into the doctors office and says " doctor there is an invisible man waiting for you" the doctor replies " awe not again tell him I can't see him"
- What's an asian's favorite drug? HERROine
^^^^^^I'm ^^^^^^sorry, ^^^^^^that ^^^^^^was ^^^^^^aweful. - An alien ordered a drink at a bar. Everybody started in awe, as they just saw an actual outer space creature.
- A beggar walks up to an overweight woman who was eating a burger and says, "I haven't" eaten anything in four days"
She looks at him in awe and says, "God, I wish I had your willpower." - What to the seal say... to his friend when he his flipper started hurting? "Awee man :( I think I got arfritis."
- My neighbour was about to lose his house. So i decided to organise a neighbourhood wide charity o**... to help him.
It was truly awe inspiring to see the whole neighbourhood come together like that. - What makes awesome good and awful bad? What makes awe**some** good and aw**ful** bad?
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Awe One Liners
Which awe one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with awe? I can suggest the ones about gaze and fright.
- I own the world's worst thesaurus. Not only is it aweful, it's aweful.
- In awe at the size of this lad. |unit|
- Why was red in awe of orange? Because orange blue green.
- Why was Barry in awe at the size of Kelvin? Kelvin is an absolute unit.
- Strange that some awe is good But full awe is bad.
- I'm in awe at the Kelvin scale It's an absolute unit.
- What do you call the act of watching a Japanese chef in awe? Mirin
Gather Around for Heartwarming Awe Jokes and Uplifting Humor
What funny jokes about awe you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean speechless jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make awe pranks.
An attorney was working late one night in his office when, suddenly, Satan appeared before him.
The Devil made him an offer. I will make it so you win every case that you try for the rest of your life. Your clients will worship you, your colleagues will be in awe, and you will make enormous amounts of money. But, in return, you must give me your soul, your wife's soul, the souls of your children, your parents, grandparents, and those of all the your friends. The lawyer thought about it for a moment, then asked, But what's the catch?
A horse walks into a bar
And orders a beer. The bartender looks confused but pours him a cold one:
- That'll be $25.
The horse opens his wallet, pays and start drinking. The bartender is still in awe and says:
- You see, we don't really have many horses coming in here.
To which the horse replies:
- With prices like these, I'm not surprised.
Two men are golfing at a local golf course
The first man is about to putt when he sees a long f**... procession right near the course. He stops mid-putt, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows his head in prayer.
The second man is in awe. "Wow, that is the most touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man."
The man replies, "Yeah, well, we were married for 35 years."
Little Johnny is walking down the street and sees a construction site building new houses
He has a look at what's going on and he's amazed and in awe of it all. He rushes home as fast as he can. He runs in and shouts ''Dad, dad, can we play builders?'' His dad says ''Sure Johnny''
Johnny runs to the top of the stairs and shouts ''Oi, get them bricks up here now you c**...''
An attorney was sitting in his office late one night, when the Devil appeared before him.
The Devil told the lawyer, ''I have a proposition for you. You can win every case you try, for the rest of your life. Your clients will adore you, your colleagues will stand in awe of you, and you will make embarrassing sums of money. All I want in exchange is your soul, your wife's soul, your children's souls, the souls of your parents, grandparents, and parents-in-law, and the souls of all of your friends and law partners.''
The lawyer thought about this for a moment, then asked, ''So, what's the catch?''
God was handing out talents one morning
To some, He gave the power to create life. The angels around Him were in awe as crops flourished and population soared. To others, he gave fine skills and artistry. His angelic entourage marveled at intricate needlework, tapestry, and sculpture.
God stooped down low and found a man waiting in the darkness, just before dawn. He gave him the power to sprinkle water on the grass as the sun rose. The angels were confused. "You gave amazing abilities to all others. Can this one really care for himself with such a small talent?"
God simply replied, "He will learn to make dew."
A blonde and two brunettes had to climb 100 stairs without laughing
On each stair they were told a joke, and they got funnier every stair higher.
The first brunette only made it to the first stair.
The second brunette made it to the fifth stair before she laughed.
The blonde slowly made her way up all the stairs, until finally she was at the 99th stair, where she let out a chuckle.
The brunettes, in awe of how well she did, asked her why she laughed.
She replied I finally got the first joke
A black man walks into a bar...
And sits down with a parrot on his shoulder. When the bartender asks what he would like to drink, the parrot answers instead.
"v**...!" it squawks.
Amazed by the trick, the bartender got him his drink and stood back in awe. A few minutes later, the curiosity became to strong for the bartender and he had to know.
" hey, where did u get that? It's so well trained!"
"Africa" answers the parrot.
I take the bus to school
So every morning I take the bus to campus. On the way, it stops by the local prison.
This morning, while we were stopped by the prison, I heard a loud c**.... I look to my right and I see what used to be a window, now shattered.
I'm looking at the window, and I see some rope fly out. Following the rope, I see an inmate. A rather small inmate. As a matter of fact, the man was a dwarf.
I stared at him in awe. As he made his way down the rope towards freedom, he notice me observing him. He gave me the stink eye. I thought to myself:
Wow, that's a little condescending.
2 hunters chat about their hunting stories
2 hunters talk about what has happened to them and the first one says... "Once, when I was in Africa and I was hunting I feel something is behind me... so I turn around and see a huge lion right behind me ...so I start running in order to escape but it was getting closer and closer but when it just about to get me … the lion just slipped and fell on the ground so I escaped." the second hunter then ask him in awe "and how the h**... you didn't s**... yourself mate? so he replies "what you think the lion slipped on ?"
A 70 year old shows up at the country club with his new wife, a gorgeous 25 year old v**...
His buddies are in awe and terribly jealous. "But you're so much older! How did you ever persuade her to marry you?"
"It was easy... I told her I was 90."
Ladies at the Golf Course
Three ladies are chipping up to the fourth hole at River Hill Golf Club, when a n**... man wearing a paper bag over his head jumps from the trees and runs across the green. The three ladies stare in awe at the size of his manhood. The first lady says, "He is definitely not my husband." The second lady, gazes at his manhood and says, "He is not mine either." After a very considered inspection, the third finally says, "He's not even a member of this golf club.
A man is with his friend at the beach.
His friend notices that the ladies can't stop staring in awe at the man, so afterwards, he asks about it.
Friend: What's your secret?
Man: I put a potato in my trunks. You should try it when we go tomorrow.
The next day, they go to the beach again, and the friend puts a potato in his trunks like the man said to. But the women run away screaming. The man notices this, looks at his friends trunks, and says: No you idiot! The potato goes in the front!
A man visits a h**.... As they are getting undressed, the man seems in awe of her lady bits. Watsamatta, hun? You ain't seen wonnadees since you crawled out of one?
No...it's just that I've never seen one I could crawl back into.
So a man one day gains the ability to make a car made of coins.
It's acceleration was a quarter faster than a dragster, the frame costed mere pennies, and the interior was full nickel, but people didn't think it made cents.
A news reporter rushes to the man in awe, asking, but does it even have brakes? The man simply looked back and said "Of course. It stops on a dime."
A husband and wife have just moved out of the city...
...to a dairy farm at the top of a hill. One day, while on their morning walk, the husband spots their beautiful neighbor tending her garden. A gust of wind blows the neighbors dress up, exposing her rear. The husband, in complete awe and excitement, takes a deep breath and accidentally mutters to himself "sweet derierre...".
His wife looks at him, takes a deep breath, and says "much better than that awful city air."
My n**... studies class
has a new male model called William Wallace. He is really well endowed. While sketching him I was just in awe of it ! So, I invited him to come home with me last night.
Basically just like his historical namesake, William Wallace was hung, drawn and quartered.
There was this drunk walking down the street
He walks up to this cop and he says, man, somebody stole my car .
And the cops says, well where was it ... and he says it was right on the end of this key .
The cop says, I don't know man, why don't you go down to the precinct house and report it down there. They'll fill out all the proper forms you know, all that stuff.
The guy says, ok and he starts to walk off...
The cop says, before you go downtown you better zip up your fly .
The guy looks down and he says, awe man, they got my girl too .
(Credit to Townes Van Zandt and j**... Jeff Walker)