Awe Jokes
35 awe jokes and hilarious awe puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about awe that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Awe Short Jokes
Short awe jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The awe humour may include short gasps jokes also.
- "My brother was telling me he received a valentines day card today" "Awe, he must've been thrilled. "
"No, not really, it was from his cell mate. " - A doctors secretary walks into the doctors office and says " doctor there is an invisible man waiting for you" the doctor replies " awe not again tell him I can't see him"
- What's an asian's favorite drug? HERROine
^^^^^^I'm ^^^^^^sorry, ^^^^^^that ^^^^^^was ^^^^^^aweful. - An alien ordered a drink at a bar. Everybody started in awe, as they just saw an actual outer space creature.
- A beggar walks up to an overweight woman who was eating a burger and says, "I haven't" eaten anything in four days"
She looks at him in awe and says, "God, I wish I had your willpower." - What to the seal say... to his friend when he his flipper started hurting? "Awee man :( I think I got arfritis."
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Awe One Liners
Which awe one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with awe? I can suggest the ones about gaze and fright.
- In awe at the size of this lad. |unit|
- Why was red in awe of orange? Because orange blue green.
- Why was Barry in awe at the size of Kelvin? Kelvin is an absolute unit.
- Strange that some awe is good But full awe is bad.
- I'm in awe at the Kelvin scale It's an absolute unit.
- What do you call the act of watching a Japanese chef in awe? Mirin
Gather Around for Heartwarming Awe Jokes and Uplifting Humor
What funny jokes about awe you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean speechless jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make awe pranks.
An attorney was working late one night in his office when, suddenly, Satan appeared before him.
The Devil made him an offer. I will make it so you win every case that you try for the rest of your life. Your clients will worship you, your colleagues will be in awe, and you will make enormous amounts of money. But, in return, you must give me your soul, your wife's soul, the souls of your children, your parents, grandparents, and those of all the your friends. The lawyer thought about it for a moment, then asked, But what's the catch?
A horse walks into a bar
And orders a beer. The bartender looks confused but pours him a cold one:
- That'll be $25.
The horse opens his wallet, pays and start drinking. The bartender is still in awe and says:
- You see, we don't really have many horses coming in here.
To which the horse replies:
- With prices like these, I'm not surprised.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Little Johnny is walking down the street and sees a construction site building new houses
He has a look at what's going on and he's amazed and in awe of it all. He rushes home as fast as he can. He runs in and shouts ''Dad, dad, can we play builders?'' His dad says ''Sure Johnny''
Johnny runs to the top of the stairs and shouts ''Oi, get them bricks up here now you c**...''
An attorney was sitting in his office late one night, when the Devil appeared before him.
The Devil told the lawyer, ''I have a proposition for you. You can win every case you try, for the rest of your life. Your clients will adore you, your colleagues will stand in awe of you, and you will make embarrassing sums of money. All I want in exchange is your soul, your wife's soul, your children's souls, the souls of your parents, grandparents, and parents-in-law, and the souls of all of your friends and law partners.''
The lawyer thought about this for a moment, then asked, ''So, what's the catch?''
God was handing out talents one morning
To some, He gave the power to create life. The angels around Him were in awe as crops flourished and population soared. To others, he gave fine skills and artistry. His angelic entourage marveled at intricate needlework, tapestry, and sculpture.
God stooped down low and found a man waiting in the darkness, just before dawn. He gave him the power to sprinkle water on the grass as the sun rose. The angels were confused. "You gave amazing abilities to all others. Can this one really care for himself with such a small talent?"
God simply replied, "He will learn to make dew."
A blonde and two brunettes had to climb 100 stairs without laughing
On each stair they were told a joke, and they got funnier every stair higher.
The first brunette only made it to the first stair.
The second brunette made it to the fifth stair before she laughed.
The blonde slowly made her way up all the stairs, until finally she was at the 99th stair, where she let out a chuckle.
The brunettes, in awe of how well she did, asked her why she laughed.
She replied I finally got the first joke
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I take the bus to school
So every morning I take the bus to campus. On the way, it stops by the local prison.
This morning, while we were stopped by the prison, I heard a loud c**.... I look to my right and I see what used to be a window, now shattered.
I'm looking at the window, and I see some rope fly out. Following the rope, I see an inmate. A rather small inmate. As a matter of fact, the man was a dwarf.
I stared at him in awe. As he made his way down the rope towards freedom, he notice me observing him. He gave me the stink eye. I thought to myself:
Wow, that's a little condescending.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
2 hunters chat about their hunting stories
2 hunters talk about what has happened to them and the first one says... "Once, when I was in Africa and I was hunting I feel something is behind me... so I turn around and see a huge lion right behind me ...so I start running in order to escape but it was getting closer and closer but when it just about to get me … the lion just slipped and fell on the ground so I escaped." the second hunter then ask him in awe "and how the h**... you didn't s**... yourself mate? so he replies "what you think the lion slipped on ?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Ladies at the Golf Course
Three ladies are chipping up to the fourth hole at River Hill Golf Club, when a n**... man wearing a paper bag over his head jumps from the trees and runs across the green. The three ladies stare in awe at the size of his manhood. The first lady says, "He is definitely not my husband." The second lady, gazes at his manhood and says, "He is not mine either." After a very considered inspection, the third finally says, "He's not even a member of this golf club.
A man is with his friend at the beach.
His friend notices that the ladies can't stop staring in awe at the man, so afterwards, he asks about it.
Friend: What's your secret?
Man: I put a potato in my trunks. You should try it when we go tomorrow.
The next day, they go to the beach again, and the friend puts a potato in his trunks like the man said to. But the women run away screaming. The man notices this, looks at his friends trunks, and says: No you idiot! The potato goes in the front!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man visits a h**.... As they are getting undressed, the man seems in awe of her lady bits. Watsamatta, hun? You ain't seen wonnadees since you crawled out of one?
No...it's just that I've never seen one I could crawl back into.
So a man one day gains the ability to make a car made of coins.
It's acceleration was a quarter faster than a dragster, the frame costed mere pennies, and the interior was full nickel, but people didn't think it made cents.
A news reporter rushes to the man in awe, asking, but does it even have brakes? The man simply looked back and said "Of course. It stops on a dime."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My neighbour was about to lose his house.
So i decided to organise a neighbourhood wide charity o**... to help him.
It was truly awe inspiring to see the whole neighbourhood come together like that.
A husband and wife have just moved out of the city...
...to a dairy farm at the top of a hill. One day, while on their morning walk, the husband spots their beautiful neighbor tending her garden. A gust of wind blows the neighbors dress up, exposing her rear. The husband, in complete awe and excitement, takes a deep breath and accidentally mutters to himself "sweet derierre...".
His wife looks at him, takes a deep breath, and says "much better than that awful city air."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My n**... studies class
has a new male model called William Wallace. He is really well endowed. While sketching him I was just in awe of it ! So, I invited him to come home with me last night.
Basically just like his historical namesake, William Wallace was hung, drawn and quartered.
A renowned philosopher was held in high regard by his driver, who listened in awe as his boss lectured and answered difficult questions about the nature of things and the meaning of life.
Then, one day, the driver approached the philosopher and asked if he was willing to switch roles for just one evening. The philosopher agreed, and, for a while, the driver handled himself remarkably well.
However, when the time came for questions, someone at the back of the room asked him, "Is the epistemological meta-narrative that you seem to espouse compatible with a teleological account of the universe?"
"That's an extremely simple question," he replied. "So simple, in fact, that even my driver could answer it."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Parting Gift
An explorer, during a trek through an unknown jungle, made contact with a primitive tribe, and swapped basic language and customs. The day comes for the explorer to depart and, as a parting gift, he gives a fine silver mirror to the chief of the tribe. The chief takes the mirror in awe, and as the explorer explains it's basic function, starts to gaze lovingly at the back of the mirror, admiring the patterning. This goes on for a little while, until the explorer at last says
'You are supposed to look at the other side!'
The chief turns the mirror around briefly, flips it back and grunts 'Bah, picture of savage on back'.
A guy gets a call his wife is in labor...
He rushes off to the hospital, but gets stuck in traffic. By the time he gets to the hospital his wife has already had the baby. So he heads down to the nursery to see his new baby. He sees his child sleeping and a nurse walks up and ask, " is this your baby?" The nurse picks up the baby and holds the child up to the father and gently rocks him, the dad is in awe... she takes the baby and throws it against the wall. The dad freaks out and starts screaming and the nurse tells him to calm down...
" I was kidding, it was a still born."
Guy walks into the bar with his new boots.
One of the residents notices his shoes and comments on them.
The guy replies: 'yep, they are genuine Crocodile leather'.
He pulls his gun out of his holster and says, 'I have killed the croc myself with this gun'.
The resident is in awe and asks if he can get boots like that. 'Of course' says the guy, 'here, you can even use my gun'. He hands him the gun and the resident flies out to Australia.
A week later the guy returns with the man's gun but no boots. 'What happened', asks the gun owner, 'didn't you see any crocodiles?'
'Yeah, I must have killed about twenty', says the guy, 'but none of them were wearing such lovely boots.'