Aware Jokes
110 aware jokes and hilarious aware puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about aware that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article examines why self-aware jokes can be so funny and how to recognize them. The article explores the differences between jokes that rely on an unconscious assumption of context versus those that intentionally reveal a greater awareness of the truth. Discover how to inject more conscious humor into your repertoire and learn how to tell when someone is actually being aware versus just merely unaware.
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Funniest Aware Short Jokes
Short aware jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The aware humour may include short conscious jokes also.
- So Tekashi69 could face life in prison Which is nice because we might finally get to see a mumble rapper completing a sentence
- My buddy just got a job in marketing with Kellogg's cereals... I guess you could say his job is raisin Bran awareness.
- I always ask what LGBT stands for... But i never get a straight answer.
Ps: I'm very aware of its meaning(since im very gay). - This year I'm on a crusade to tell everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes It's about raisin awareness
- I told my friend I have an acute sense of when a deep hole with water is nearby. He said thats a useless ability. I'm well aware
- Twice a year there is a newsletter released about dried fruit. On those dates it is raisin awareness of currant events.
- Redditors are very environmentally aware More than half the content on the front page is recycled
- Therapist: Are you aware that you have incredible difficulty verbalizing your emotions? Man: I can't say I'm surprised.
Therapist: Exactly. - Just saw that our local Police Department got 2 huge new trucks with "Criminal Gang Unit" labeled on the sides. Finally, some self awareness.
- Why did a mathematician named his dog Cauchy? Let me test math awareness of this sub. This was told by a professor in a class.
Answer: because it left residue at every pole!
Share These Aware Jokes With Friends
Aware One Liners
Which aware one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with aware? I can suggest the ones about alert and knowledge.
- Diarrhoea Awareness Week starts on Monday Runs until Friday.
- If you leave a grape out in the sun, it'll shrivel and dry up... Just raisin awareness
- What do you call a wolf that meditates Aware wolf
- My therapist told me I am quite self aware. I already knew that.
- Only 49 states like computers... The last state isn't Dell-aware
- I taught my pet wolf to meditate. Now he's aware wolf.
- I wasnt aware that the name Niamh was pronounced Neve Until my mate Stiamh told me
- I absolutely adore alliteration. Amateurs aren't aware of it's awesomeness.
- September is alzheimers awareness month Did anyone else forget?
- Just so everyone is aware, dogs are not able to undergo an M.R.I. But Catscan.
- Today, March 26th, is Epilepsy Awareness day. So get on out there and seize the day!
- The sentence "I'm aware" isn't very scary Unless you put Wolf on the end.
- To raise heart health awareness, Cardi B changes her name... To Cardi O
- Why was the Apple Store in Wilmington so afraid of competition? They were Dell-Aware.
- TIL that grapes can kill dogs I'm just raisin awareness
Self Aware Jokes
Here is a list of funny self aware jokes and even better self aware puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- All my friends told me I have no self-awareness Ridiculous, if I had no self-awareness I think I'd know.
- Breast Cancer Awareness Hotline I called the hotline for information about breast self-examination. I got a recording that said "Press one to continue.....OK, now press the other one.
- I was called in to fix someone's computer I took a look round the back and I said Oh, the self-awareness switch is on.
The man said That's funny, it was off last time I checked. - Im getting sick of all my self-aware friends. You know who you are...
- There are many people who are very self-aware... You know who you are.
- What's an Apple Scottish self-aware computer called? I, Mac.
- What do you call an empty, self-aware 2-dimensional space? Descartes Blanche
- How do we know when Artificial Intelligence has become self-aware? It starts to think its bot is too big.
- Does anyone else ever suddenly get all existential and acutely aware of their own self-awareness and that other people around you have their own consciousness? Just making sure it's not just me.
- Did You Know That Everyone Named Juan Is Self-Aware? I guess it's true what they say. It takes Juan to know Juan
Gather Around for Heartwarming Aware Jokes and Uplifting Humor
What funny jokes about aware you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean attention jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make aware pranks.
In a crowded city at a bus stop, a beautiful young woman was waiting for the bus. She was decked out in a tight leather mini skirt, with matching tight leather boots and jacket...
As the bus rolled up and it became her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step on the bus.
Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behind and unzipped her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg.
Again, she tried to make the step onto the bus, only to discover she still couldn't!
So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind and unzipped her skirt a little more and for a second time attempted the step and once again, still she could not raise her leg because of the tight skirt.
With a coy little smile to the driver, she again unzipped the offending skirt to give a little more slack and again was unable to make the step.
About this time, a big Texan that was behind her in the line picked her up easily from the waist and placed her lightly on the step of the bus.
Well, she went ballistic and turned on the would-be hero screeching at him, "How dare you touch my body!! I don't even know who you are!"
At this, the Texan drawled, "Well ma'am normally I would agree with you, but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured that we was friends."
drunk driving.
I would like to share an experience with you, which has to do with drinking and driving. As you may be aware, some of us have had brushes with the authorities over the years. The other night I was out for dinner with a few friends. After consuming too much wine, and knowing full well that I was wasted, I did something I've never done before. Believe it or not, I took a bus home. Yes, a bus. I arrived home safely and without incident.
This was really a surprise to me since I have never driven a bus before
Bus Stop Blonde
In a crowded city at a busy bus stop, a woman who was waiting for a bus was wearing a tight leather skirt. As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus.
Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg.
Again, she tried to make the step only to discover she still couldn't.
So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little more.
For the second time, attempted the step, and, once again,
and much to her chagrin, she could not raise her leg.
With a little smile to the driver, she again reached behind to unzip
a little more and again was unable to make the step.
About this time, a large Texan who was standing behind her picked her up easily by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus.
She went ballistic and turned to the would-be good samaritan and screeched, "How dare you touch my body?!
I don't even know who you are!'
The Texan smiled and drawled,
"Well, ma'am, normally I would
agree with you, but after you unzipped
my fly three times, I kinda
figured we was friends."
Mental Hospital
Jim and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out. When the hospital director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered that Edna be discharged from the hospital because she now considered Edna to be mentally stable.
The director went to Edna and said, "I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that you're being discharged because you responded so rationally to a crisis by jumping in the pool to save the life of another patient. Your action displays sound mindedness. The bad news is that Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead."
Edna replied, "He didn't hang himself. I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?"
Drinking and driving
I would like to share my experience with drinking and driving.
As most of you are aware, some of us have been known to have had close encounters with the authorities on our way home from the nights out drinking and socializing.
So a couple of nights ago, I was out for a few drinks with some close friends of mine and had just a few too many.
Knowing full well I may have been over the limit, I did something I've never done before: I took a bus home. As fate would have it, I passed a police checkpoint but as it was a bus, they waved it past. I arrived home safely without incident which was a real surprise, as I have never driven a bus before and am not even quite sure where I got it.
Jim and Mary.
Jim and Mary were both patients in a Mental Hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom and stayed there. Mary promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.
When the medical director became aware of Mary's heroic act he immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital as he now considered her to be mentally stable. When he went to tell Mary the news he said, "Mary, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged because since you were able to jump in and save the life of another patient, I think you've regained your senses. The bad news is Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom. I am so sorry, but he's dead."
Mary replied, "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry."
Fact
I'd like to leave you ladies and gentlemen with this frightening fact: I'm not sure if you're aware of this, but if you took all the money that we in the West spend on food in one week, you could feed the Third World for one year. I'm not sure about you people, but I think we're being overcharged on groceries.
Breast Cancer Awareness
I'm quite well aware...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Irish sectarianism joke
An American is visiting Ireland, and walking back to his hotel from the local pub. Suddenly he hears a voice behind him, demanding, "Are you a protestant or a catholic??". The American is well aware of the sectarian issues in Ireland and is understandably afraid to admit to either affiliation. In a flash of inspiration he responds, "neither, in Jewish!". And the voice comes back, "I must be the luckiest Palestinian in all of Ireland!"
TIFU
And before you say anything, I'm aware she has a strange name.
The earth and the moon
The earth and the moon have a pretty decent relationship. Sure it has its ups and downs but you could say their relationship is pretty ecliptic and Id say since their last down its come full turn.
Note: I am aware this is terrible.
School Time
A father becomes aware that his son is oversleeping again and will be late for school. He raps repeatedly on his son's door.
"Wake up, wake up, you'll be late for school!" the father says loudly.
"I don't want to go to school," his son answers.
"Why not?" asks the father.
"Three reasons," responds the son. "First, because school is so boring; second, the kids tease me all the time; and third, I hate school!"
"I am going to give you 3 reasons why you MUST go to school," the father retorts. "First, because it is your duty; second, because you are forty-five years old; and third, because you are the headmaster!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I like my health care like I like my h**...
Cheap, and accepting of all preexisting conditions...as far as I'm aware I just made this up, be gentle
When the new patient was settled comfortably on the couch,...
... the psychiatrist began his therapy session, "I'm not aware of your problem," the doctor said. "So perhaps, you should start at the very beginning."
"Of course." replied the patient. "In the beginning, I created the Heavens and the Earth..."
An American factory orders a shipment of a certain part from a Japanese factory.
They write a letter to warn their partners "Be aware of our strict standards, we only accept 3 defective parts per 10 000".
The Japanese reply: "We don't quite understand what do you need them for, but as per request, we manufactured three defective parts and attach them separately hereby"
What do you call a wolf that is cautious?
An aware wolf.
An old joke from East Germany
A German worker gets a job in Siberia. Aware of how all mail will be read by censors, he tells his friends: "Let's establish a code: if a letter you will get from me is written in ordinary blue ink, it is true; if it is written in red ink, it is false."
After a month, his friends get the first letter, written in blue ink: "Everything is wonderful here: stores are full, food is abundant, apartments are large and properly heated, movie theaters show films from the West, there are many beautiful girls ready for an affair—the only thing unavailable is *red ink*."
What happened to the dinosaurs that first was aware of the metheorite?
The where petrified.
April is autism awareness month
Anyone here aware they have autism
Mustapha is walking with his wife.
Hassan his friend notices that his wife is walking in front of him and asks: "You know the koran says that the man should walk infront of the wife"? Mustapha:" I am aware what the koran says but this is a minefield".
Old experiment
#You are now breathing and blinking manually.
#also you are aware of your tongue now.
Let me know if this worked
What's the difference between obsequious behaviour towards someone important in order to gain advantage and John Wayne Gacy wearing a top hat and monocle?
One is sycophancy and the other is a fancy sicko.
(As far as I'm aware this is an original joke that I created and am quite pleased with)
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a female Chinese newborn?
A youth-in-Asia
^(Yes. I'm 100% aware I'm the worst person in history)
A pirate walks into a bar
The bartender says to him:
"Hey pirate, are you aware there's a steering wheel coming from your zipper?"
The pirate replies:
"AARRGHH matey, it's drivin' me nuts!"
United airlines response to the media:
"we were not aware people would be able to take a video"
A horse walks into a bar....
and many people in the bar stand up to leave aware of the danger in the situation.
Are you aware the the Quran specifically forbids dating Gorillas?
It turns out you're not supposed to have a Haram Bae.
A police officer stops a drunk guy
Sir, are you aware that it was red? Of course I am! It's the only kind that doesn't make me sick.
A cop pulls over a couple in a convertible for going way below the speed limit on a highway.
Cop: Are you aware that you were going 17 in a 60 zone?
Driver: No officer, the sign says 17 right there.
Cop: Sir, that's the route sign.
At this point the cop notices that the lady in the passenger seat is frozen in fear, staring forward, and her hair is a mess.
Cop: Sir, is your wife alright?
Driver: Oh, you see, we just got off of i87.
Joke is courtesy of my dad.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What is a floppy disc that as an e**...?
A hard drive.
(This is an attempt at an original joke)
(I am aware of the "as" that should be a "has")
What you get, your husband will get it 3 times more
A woman is cleaning her attic, when she finds an old lamp. Surely enough, she rubs it and a genie pops off and tells her:
"I can grant you 3 wishes, but be aware that anything you get, your husband will get it 3 times more"
The woman asks:
"First I want to be very beautiful"
The genie grants her wish and turns her into a gorgeous woman. He then says:
"Done, and now your husband is 3 times more beautiful than you are"
Then the woman asks:
"Next I want to be rich"
Once again the genie grants her wish, and tells her:
"Done, and your husband is now 3 times richer than you"
The the woman asks:
"Finally, I want to have a small small small heart attack"
Why was the man who couldn't hear so aware of his surroundings?
He had terrific deaf perception.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
October is domestic a**... awareness month...
Time to make your significant other aware....
Look, I'm not saying you can't go to college to study religion if that's really what you want to do...
Just be aware that it's not a very prophetable major.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
One evening an old farmer went down to the pond...
One evening an old farmer went to go down to the pond, as he hasn't been there in a while, he grabbed a five gallon bucket and some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard some voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end. One of the women shouted at him "we're not coming out until you leave!" The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim n**... or get out of the pond n**...". Holding the bucket up he said "I'm here to feed the alligator."
If you are still not aware of the LMGTFY minority in 2017
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I approached a lesbian at a bar.
I wasn't aware she was a lesbian at the time, so I asked if she would like to go home with me.
"How rude!" she responded. "Did you just assume my sexuality? I'll have you know that I'm not interested in men!"
I'm a fairly progressive man, so I wasn't going to let her beat me at my own game.
"How rude!" I shouted, catching her attention as she walked away. "Did you just assume my gender?"
There was once a robot whose job it was to organize all the shelves of a massive library that had thousands of books. Every day he did his job without missing a beat. One day though, he didn't show up to work. The librarians were all perplexed that a robot would do something like that...
Turns out he had become shelf aware.
Are you aware of the fact that many people have stopped using their remote's safety straps?
It's getting out of hand.
I'm well aware of my shortcomings
I aim for the chest, but only make it to the stomach
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Guy Proposing To His GF...
She interrupted him and said: but I have one flaw you should be aware of: I f**... alot! Like a lot!
He giggled and said it's alright I have a problem with my nose too, I can't smell that well.
After three days of them living together ,
The guy is opening the windows of the apartment,
And the wife is crying and shouting YOU LIED TO ME, YOU CAN SMELL!,
The guy responded: no I didn't but it is getting hard to walk around here! my eyes are burning!
Why did the starship captain buy a sub-lightspeed propulsion system that he didn't need?
It was an impulse purchase.
For anyone who isn't aware, this is a star trek fathers day joke.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
"Doctor, I've listened to your advice, about getting my family involved in trying to help me recover."
He said, "Well, I've told you what the cures are. There are three. Two of them your children should have been able to aid you with, the third is s**...."
"Yes," I said, "of that I am aware."
"So..." he began. "What does your son give you?"
"Ibuprofen."
"What does your daughter give you?"
"Paracetamol."
"Then what does your wife give you?"
"A headache."
How much does a Rainbow weigh?
Idk it's Light!
Hahahaha as far as I am aware, I just created this joke and I could not be more proud of myself!!!!
An American guy is talking with European in some bar in USA.
The American guy is saying: "I heard you have now some problems with immigrants in Europe."
An Indian bends from the next table and says: "Be aware of that, we heavily underestimated that once"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I am aware of the effect I have on women
The running away you get used to, but the screaming is hard on the ears.
Cop: Sir, are you aware that your on your phone and speeding?
Me: Well Snapchat says that I'm only going 45.
Cop: Oh sorry sir have a nice day
'We become self aware only to realise that the story is not about us'.
I think it is about me.
Someone asked me if I had ever noticed that I had a keen sense for being able to tell where water was underground...
I replied, "I'm well aware."
Why don't self aware train drivers go through thunderstorms?
Because they know they're good conductors.
Two astronauts are falling into a black hole while telling jokes.
One turns to the other and says "I'm afraid we're not aware of the gravity of the situation."
A guy says to his friend, "Did you know that today is S.A.D., Single Awareness Day?"
His friend says, "Yeah, but I thought you had a girlfriend."
First guy says, "I do. I'm just making sure you were aware that you are single."
After a long discussion about our future, my partner and I decided to name our first born 'No Pun'.
That way they'll certainly be aware that they weren't intended.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A lot of people aren't aware that one of the biggest c**...-engineering breakthroughs actually came from a frog.
It was his idea to rib it.
I know you all are already struggling with 2020...
But be aware the year after 2021 will be Twenty-Twenty 2 Electronic Boogaloo.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
People who wonder how big any man you meet is, there is one easy way to find out without seeing them n**..., and you may not have been aware of it. It WILL work 100% of time.
Just ask your mom.
You've been warned
A stranger enters a store and spots a sign: DANGER! BEWARE OF DOG! Inside, he sees a harmless old hound asleep on the floor.
"Is that the dog we're supposed to be aware of?" he asks the owner.
"That's him," comes the reply.
"He doesn't look at all dangerous to me. Why would you post that sign?"
"Before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him."
A German worker gets a job in Siberia, aware of how all mail will be read by the censors, he tells his friends;
"Let's establish a code, if a letter you get from me is written in ordinary blue ink; it's true, if it's written in red ink, it's false"
After a month, his friends get the first letter;
"Everything is wonderful here, the shops are full, food is abundant, apartments are large and properly heated, cinemas show films from the West, there are many beautiful girls ready for an affair, the only thing you can't get is red ink"
Be aware of your carbon footprint
Next time you have a lightbulb moment, think of a energy efficient led bulb
Where do cats go when all nine lives are up?
Purrgatory!
Ps: this joke works in French, Spanish, and Italian, as far as I'm aware.
An Irishman walks out of a pub, stumbling back and forth with a key in his hand. A cop on the beat sees him and approaches, "Can I help you lad?" "Yesh, Shombody shtole me car!",
The cop asks, "Well now, where was your car last time you saw it?" "It was at the end of this key." About this time the cop looks down to see that the Irishman's member is being exhibited for all to see. He then asks, "Are you aware that you are exposing yourself?" The Irishman looks down woefully and moans "OOH GOD... they got me girl too!"
Yesterday, I saw my apartment neighbor trying to kick in his own door
I knew he was a criminal, and had served some time for theft and B&E but I wasn't aware that he was crazy.
So I cautiously asked him what he was doing.
He replied, "Working from home."
My friend told this to me the other day, so I apologize if this is a repost or anything like that.
A man is pulled over for speeding.
Police Officer: Sir, were you aware you were going 68 MPH on a 45?
Man: No sir.
Officer: Well, you were, and that's far too high. You'll have to be in court.
Man: Well, can you at least raise the number a bit so we can get the judge to say it?
Officer: I guess I can.
\*In the courtroom
Judge: How were you going 420 on a 45?!?
A man is sitting at home when he gets a knock on the door from a police officer…
The officer asks the man if he is married, and the man replies yes, I am.
He then asks the man if he has a recent photograph of his wife. The man tells the officer to hold on one moment while he pulls out his phone to show him a picture of her.
The officer takes one look at the photo and tells the man I'm sorry, but it looks like your wife has been hit by a train...
The man says yes, I'm aware of that, But she has a great personality, makes me laugh, and it is a really excellent cook!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Ladies that eat Tide pods should be aware it could negatively affect their chances for a romantic relationship. Odds are likely that it will...
...detergents.
Today a woman was walking down the street with her blouse open and her right breast hanging out.
When I got face to face with the woman, I said, "Miss, are you aware that you could be cited for indecent exposure?"
"Why?" the woman asked.
"Well," I said, "Your right breast is hanging out of your blouse."
The woman quickly looked down and screamed, "Oh my God! I left my baby on the bus!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Rick and John
Two friends Rick and John meet after a long time in a bar.
Rick: "Last few weeks it is not too bad - I had s**... around twice a week with my girlfriend."
John: "Same here - at least twice a week"
Rick: "Very good. Listen, I was not aware you had a girlfriend, you never told me ?"
John: "Ohh, I thought we are talking about your girlfriend"
Have you ever realised that when you are listening to music, somewhere in the world there is someone who is listening the same song, the same lyrics, the same syllable as you are.
Then you are aware of FM radio
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A boy comes home from a s**... club to find his mother waiting for him
Already aware of what her son had been doing, she asks, And what did you see, young man?
Something I wasn't supposed to.
Oh? Your father?
No, your mother.
A boxing match is about to start..
A boxing match is about to start.
An ex-criminal steps on the scale and weighs in at 90kg.
Next up.. a professional athlete weighing in at 85kg.
Gotta weigh the pros and cons
Edit but not actually an edit : it's dumb, I'm aware
I was recently made aware that I have a serious drinking problem...
For example, my local liquor store is has shut down, which is a serious problem.
