Awakening Jokes
25 awakening jokes and hilarious awakening puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about awakening that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Awakening Short Jokes
Short awakening jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The awakening humour may include short awoken jokes also.
- Star Wars Episode 7-9 Titles Revealed Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens
Star Wars Episode VIII: The Force Sleeps For Five More Minutes
Star Wars Episode IX: The Force Is Late For Work - TIL France got a different version of The Force Awakens than the rest of the world. While the international version ends with Rey and Luke, the French version ends with fin.
- For his birthday, I got my son an alarm clock that swears at him instead of beeping. He's in for a rude awakening.
- What was Mark Hamill's reaction when he finished reading The Force Awakens script? Speechless
- I had a terrible dream of a dystopian future where robots controlled every aspect of our lives. Luckily, I was awakened by my Tesla.
- For Christmas, I gave my wife an alarm clock that swears instead of beeping. She's in for a rude awakening.
- The Force Awakens could have been much shorter. All the First Order had to do to get rid of the Resistance was to use a superconductor.
- Force Awakens joke my 9yo made up What did Poe ask Finn when they went fishing?
"Do you know how to tie a fly tighter?" - For her birthday, the only gift I got my wife is an alarm clock that swears at her instead of beeping. She's in for a rude awakening.
- For her birthday, I got my wife an alarm clock that swears at her instead of ringing. She's in for a rude awakening.
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Awakening One Liners
Which awakening one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with awakening? I can suggest the ones about waking and awakened.
- I know how the Force Awakens ends! Credits.
- Watching Solo die was my favorite part of The Force Awakens.... Han's down.
- Why do Jedi hate alarm clocks? Because of The Force Awakens.
- First Review in for "The Force Awakens" Absolutely to die for
- I had a rude awakening due to a loud noise. Needless to say, I was alarmed.
- A religious awakening Is what happens when the preacher gets through preaching.
- why do police always have star wars alarm clocks? for when the force awakens
- I got a rude awakening this morning. My swear jar fell on my head.
- Why couldn't Luke get any sleep? Because the Force Awakens
- My brother dropped my swear jaw on my head this morning. That was a rude awakening.
- So Rex Tillerson was fired by a tweet! That must have been a crude awakening for him.
- 2015: The Force Awakens 2017: The Last Jedi
2019: From His Nap - What did the pumpkin say after waking up his family? "Awaken, my pump-*kin*"
Amusing Awakening Jokes to Make You Laugh with Friends
What funny jokes about awakening you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean woken jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make awakening pranks.
A woman awakens from a coma, no longer pregnant.
"Congratulations! You delivered a boy and a girl!" The nurse said.
"That's great! Who named them?" She asked.
"Your husband did. He named the boy Jason."
"I like that. What about the girl?"
"Jadaughter."
What's in a name?
A pregnant woman lapses into a coma. She awakens and frantically calls for her doctor. "You had twins, a boy and a girl. They're fine," he says. "Your brother named them."
Oh, no, the new mother thinks. He's an idiot. Expecting the worst, she asks, "What's the girl's name?"
"Denise," the doctor says.
Not bad, she thinks. I guess I was wrong about him. "And the boy?"
"DeNephew."
A family of moles
A family of moles awakens from hibernation. The father mole pokes his head out of the hole and says "I smell tulips it must be spring". The mother mole pokes her head out of the hole and says " I smell cherry blossoms it must be spring". The baby mole is trying to squeeze between his parents but gets stuck and says "all I smell is molasses"
Sometimes women are overly suspicious of their husbands
When Adam stayed out very late for a few nights, Eve became upset.
You're running around with other women, she charged.
You're being unreasonable, Adam responded. You're the only woman on Earth. The quarrel continued until Adam fell asleep, only to be awakened by someone poking him in the chest. It was Eve.
What do you think you're doing? Adam demanded. Counting your ribs!
God Loves Drunks Too
A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.
"Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3:00 in the morning!"
He slams the door and returns to bed.
"Who was that?" asked his wife.
"Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers.
"Did you help him?" she asks.
"No, I did not, it is 3:00 in the morning and it is pouring rain out there!"
"Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself! God loves drunk people too."
The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain.
He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"
"Yes," comes back the answer.
"Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband.
"Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.
"Where are you?" asks the husband.
"Over here on the swing set," replied the drunk.
A big game hunter goes on safari with his wife and his mother-in-law.
One morning, the wife wakes up to find her mother gone. Immediately, she awakens up her husband and they both set off to find the old woman.
Suddenly, they break into a clearing and there's the mother-in-law, standing face-to-face with a ferocious lion!
"Quick, darling," the wife shouts frantically, "Do something!"
"Oh, no," the husband says, "That lion got himself into this mess. Let him get himself out!"
A man and woman live in a two story house.
A man and woman live in a two story house and sleep on the second floor. At 3 a.m. they're awakened by a knock at the front door. The man goes to the window, opens it and looks down but can't see anyone.
"Who's out there?" he asks.
A voice says, "Please help me. I need a push."
"I'm sorry," the man says. "I'm not leaving my house at this hour."
He gets back into bed. His wife says, "Honey, don't you remember when our daughters were stuck in that bad part of Oakland at 3 in the morning, and if that stranger didn't give them a jumpstart, they would been there for hours?"
"Yeah, you're right," the man says. He gets out of bed and returns to the window. "Are you still down there?" he asks.
"Yes."
"Do you still need that push?"
"Yes."
"Where are you?" the man asks.
"I'm over here on your swings."
