JokoJokes

Avocado Jokes

66 avocado jokes and hilarious avocado puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about avocado that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Make your next party a hit with these funny, fresh and creative avocado jokes! Perfect for introducing some family-friendly, yet dirty humor. Impress your guests with your knowledge of fruit puns and jokes. From the classic "Avocado Toast" joke to more outrageous ones such as the "Avocado Baby" and the "Avocado Cookie", these jokes will have your friends laughing in no time. But don't worry, we haven't forgotten the vegetarians. There's also jokes about beets, lettuce, and a mango. So grab some avocados and get ready for some fun!

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Funniest Avocado Short Jokes

Short avocado jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The avocado humour may include short guacamole jokes also.

  1. There are approximately 6.02*10^23 guacas in a guacamole. This is known as avocado's number.
  2. If two avocado are avocados then shouldn't three avocado be avocatres , and four be avoquatro , and five be avocinco ?
  3. I went to the backyard this morning and I saw a bird of prey eating avocado toast. It was a millennial falcon.
  4. Picking up women in bars is like picking up Avocadoes in a supermarket... You have no idea how damaged they are until you get them home.
  5. What do you call an avocado that's giving you the silent treatment? An Incommunicado
    A joke I made up last night. Quarantine's really getting to me
  6. Saw a bird eating a piece of avocado toast. Guess it was some kind of millennial falcon.
    @sarahemclaugh
  7. I ordered some Avocado Toast at a cafe, but imagine my surprise when I was given 602214076000000000000000 pieces of toasts. It was then I realized... ...I'd accidentally ordered Avogadro's Toast.
  8. Chemistry Humor... "What do you get when you cut an avocado into 6.02214129×10^23 pieces?"
    Guacomole.
  9. How come Jeff Bezos spending 13 billion makes the news? I spent 13 billion dollars last week at Whole Foods as well and all I got was some vegan avocado toast.
  10. What do you call it when you punch someone with an avocado? Guacamelee

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Avocado One Liners

Which avocado one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with avocado? I can suggest the ones about eggplant and tomato.

  1. There are 6.02*10^23 guacas in a guacamole, This is also known as avocado's number.
  2. Saw a falcon eating avocado toast. Guess it's a millennial falcon.
  3. What do you get when you cut an avocado into 6.022x10^23 pieces? Guacamole.
  4. Why shouldn't you put avocados in your eyes? You could get guacoma.
  5. what do you call 6.02 X 10^23 atoms of avocado dipping sauce? one guacamole
  6. I asked a produce seller from boston if they had a truck. They were like "No, I avocado"
  7. What do you call 6.022 x 10^23 molecules of avocado? A guac-mole
  8. What do you call an expired avocado? A guacamoldy
  9. what do you call it when you get avocado in your eye? guacoma.
  10. Not yet. Not yet. Not yet. Eat me now. Too late -Avocados
  11. What can you make with 6.02 x 10^23 avocados? Guaca-mole
  12. What do you call an avocado cut up into 6.022*10^23 times? Guacamole
  13. What is the Jolly Green Giant most afraid of? Avocado pickers
  14. What do you get when you cross an avocado with a two way radio? A Guackie-talkie
  15. Guacamole: 6 x 10E23 guacas.
    (That's Avocado's Number)

Avocado Toast Jokes

Here is a list of funny avocado toast jokes and even better avocado toast puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A zoomer was invited to his millennial friend's wedding, and was asked to give a toast. He didn't avocado.
  • I went to my backyard and saw a bird of prey eating avocado toast. It was a millennial falcon.

Avocado Day Jokes

Here is a list of funny avocado day jokes and even better avocado day puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Accidentally got some guacamole in my eyes... ... and now I think I have guacoma.
    Happy Avocado Day!
  • Smuggling one avocado into the US will make your day Smuggling two will make your hole weak.
  • I was buying fruits the other day... ...and somebody stole my bike but that's okay I avocado.
Avocado joke, I was buying fruits the other day...

Unearthly Funniest Avocado Jokes to Tickle Your Sides

What funny jokes about avocado you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean mango jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make avocado pranks.

Avocado or Donald Trump?

Avocado or Donald Trump for president?
Well, one is a wrinkly old bag filled with green mush
The other one is an avocado.

I had an arguement with a philosophy major

I told him NO, I don't want avocado on my footlong!

An avocado-wife is giving her husband the silent treatment

Husband: "I said you were the good kind of fat!"

Here's a funny joke based on the word avocate in french.

The word avocate in french means two things, avocado, and lawyer. Why? Because both of them are expensive and slimy on the inside. Sorry if anyones a lawyer... or an avocado.

When an avocado and a duck mate, what sound does the offspring make?

Guac!

What do you get if you cross a duck with an avocado?

Quackamole

I was going to drive to the shop to pick up some guacamole...

....but I don't avocado.

My friend called and said, " on your drive over later please don't forget to bring all the ingredients for the Guacamole ".

I said sure, there's only one problem..........I don't avocado.

Has anyone played that weird Mexican carnival game where groundhogs pop out of holes and you have to smear them with avocado?

I really s**... at Guac-a-mole.

I would have driven my date to the Mexican cantina....

But I didn't avocado

what does the one-upping hipster say?

hold my avocado

What language does a black avocado speak?

AAVEcado.

What do you call an avocado that's been destoned?

An avocada.

What does a duck say when it gets hit by an avocado truck?

"Guac, guac!"

If I owned an avocado farm

I would label the container for all the good avocados "Avocados" and the container for all the bad avocados "Avocadon'ts".

How Do Avocados Communicate?

With Guac-ie-talkies!

What did one avocado say to the other avocado in the club?

Back that Hass up!

How do you make an avocado tactical?

You turn it into GuacaMOLLE

What do you get when you mix MDMA with an avocado?

Guacamolly

What did the guacamole say to the avocado?

RUN!!

Why do Elephants....

Paint their t**... green?
So they can hide in avocado trees!

What's the difference between a baby boomer and an avocado

One is a soft, wrinkly vegetable
The other one is an avocado

Farmers would make a lot more money if they didn't grow avocado.

They should try growing twovocadoes.

The hawk on the patio

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "Hey look at that big hawk out on the patio," he tells the bartender. "It looks like its eating some avocado toast." "Oh, that bird again," the bartender sighs. "I think its a Millennial Falcon."

I bought an avocado to boost my memory

but I forgot where did I put it

Avocado joke, I went to the backyard this morning and I saw a bird of prey eating avocado toast.

jokes about avocado