Avocado Jokes

Following is our collection of mango humor and mesquite one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Avocado puns for adults, dirty hummus jokes or clean olives gags for kids.

There is an abundance of citrus jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 46 funniest jokes on avocado. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any tomato witze you can hear about avocado.

The Best jokes about Avocado

Saw a falcon eating avocado toast.

Guess it's a millennial falcon.

Has anyone played that weird Mexican carnival game where groundhogs pop out of holes and you have to smear them with avocado?

I really suck at Guac-a-mole.

What do you get when you cut an avocado into 6.022x10^23 pieces?


what do you call 6.02 X 10^23 atoms of avocado dipping sauce?

one guacamole

What do you call an avocado that's giving you the silent treatment?

An Incommunicado

A joke I made up last night. Quarantine's really getting to me

Saw a bird eating a piece of avocado toast.

Guess it was some kind of millennial falcon.


Chemistry Humor...

"What do you get when you cut an avocado into 6.02214129×10^23 pieces?"


How come Jeff Bezos spending 13 billion makes the news?

I spent 13 billion dollars last week at Whole Foods as well and all I got was some vegan avocado toast.

What do you call an avocado cut up into 6.022*10^23 times?


What is the Jolly Green Giant most afraid of?

Avocado pickers

What do you get when you cross an avocado with a two way radio?

A Guackie-talkie

What do you call it when you punch someone with an avocado?


When an avocado and a duck mate, what sound does the offspring make?


I had an arguement with a philosophy major

I told him NO, I don't want avocado on my footlong!

What do you get when you mix MDMA with an avocado?


How Do Avocados Communicate?

With Guac-ie-talkies!

Accidentally got some guacamole in my eyes...

... and now I think I have guacoma.

Happy Avocado Day!

What does a duck say when it gets hit by an avocado truck?

"Guac, guac!"

How do you make an avocado tactical?

You turn it into GuacaMOLLE

I would have driven my date to the Mexican cantina....

But I didn't avocado

Here's a funny joke based on the word avocate in french.

The word avocate in french means two things, avocado, and lawyer. Why? Because both of them are expensive and slimy on the inside. Sorry if anyones a lawyer... or an avocado.

Avocado or Donald Trump?

Avocado or Donald Trump for president?
Well, one is a wrinkly old bag filled with green mush
The other one is an avocado.

My friend called and said, " on your drive over later please don't forget to bring all the ingredients for the Guacamole ".

I said sure, there's only one problem..........I don't avocado.

What do you get if you cross a duck with an avocado?


If I owned an avocado farm

I would label the container for all the good avocados "Avocados" and the container for all the bad avocados "Avocadon'ts".

Why do Elephants....

Paint their testicles green?

So they can hide in avocado trees!

What did the guacamole say to the avocado?


I was going to drive to the shop to pick up some guacamole...

....but I don't avocado.

What did one avocado say to the other avocado in the club?

Back that Hass up!

what does the one-upping hipster say?

hold my avocado

What language does a black avocado speak?


What do you call an avocado that's been destoned?

An avocada.

People laugh at my car because its a weird green colour.

At least I avocado.

What sound does a duck make when it has sex with an avocado?


Smuggling one avocado into the US will make your day

Smuggling two will make your hole weak.

They say you cant judge an avocado...

Until you guacamole in his shoes.

What do you call an avocado from heaven?


A zoomer was invited to his millennial friend's wedding, and was asked to give a toast.

He didn't avocado.

What's the difference between a baby boomer and an avocado

One is a soft, wrinkly vegetable

The other one is an avocado

Where are avocados grown?


How many avocados are in 1 mole of guac?

6.023 x 10^23 . It is also called as the avocado's number.

I wanted to drive to the shop to buy some guacamole

I didn't avocado

An avocado-wife is giving her husband the silent treatment

Husband: "I said you were the good kind of fat!"

You may be able to drive but do you


I went to my backyard and saw a bird of prey eating avocado toast.

It was a millennial falcon.

I don't have a truck to take my alligator pears to market.

I avocado.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes