Uplifting Avid Jokes to have Hilarious Fun with Friends
What did the boy say to the -1 when it became a 1?
Nice abs!!!
As an engineer, avid exerciser, and new father I am very proud of myself.
A nice clean jewish joke
The young rabbi was an avid golfer. Even on Yom Kippur, the holiest day of the year, he snuck out by himself for a quick nine holes.
On the last hole he teed off, and a gust of wind carried his ball directly over the hole and dropped it in for a hole in one.
An angel who witnessed this miracle complained to God, This guy is playing golf on Yom Kippur, and you cause him to get a hole in one? This is a punishment?
Of course it is, said the Lord, smiling. Who can he tell?
On the back of u/baldillin
A young Rabbi is a very avid golfer. He even goes out on Yom Kippur, the holiest day of the year to play some holes. On his last hole the wind carries the ball and he sinks an amazing hole in one.
In Heaven an angel complains to God, this Rabbi is playing golf on Yom Kippur and you give him a hole in one as punishment!?
Of course, God says, who can he tell?
The f**...
A f**... procession pulled into a cemetery. Several carloads of family members followed a black truck towing a boat with a coffin in it.
A passer-by remarked, "That guy must have been a very avid fisherman.
"Oh, he still is," remarked one of the mourners. As a matter of fact, he's headed off to the lake as soon as we bury his wife.
I once dated a girl and she threw up a bunch of red flags.
It turned out that she was an avid communist.
Anybody know some white people jokes?
I'm an avid racist and like to have plenty of denigrating jokes at the ready for any particular race. Sadly I know very few targeted at Caucasians, and the ones I do know make them look sorta good (rich, stable, part of ruling elite). Anybody know any jokes that poke fun at being white?
Most avid climbers agree that small mountains are jokes.
They think they're just hill areas.
A r**... mistook his own foot for a flounder while flounder gigging...
Later at the hospital, he was chatting with the doctor as the doctor was stitching him up. The doctor was also an avid fisherman too.
Doctor: I see you were using a double pronged gig.
r**...: No, I use a single prong gig.
Doctor: Then why am I stitching up two holes?
r**...: Well the first one is from the gig, the second is from where I tried to put it on the s**....
I used to be an avid hunter of wolves, but I had to quit. I got addicted to it...
I was up to two packs a day.
True story.
I have "pro-tools for dummies" right next to my toilet...
You might say i'm an Avid reader.
Who is the world's most avid environmentalist?
Mrs. Hawking
She planted trees, picked up litter, and married a vegetable.
You can explore avid insatiable reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean avid admirer dad jokes. There are also avid puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
A little known fact about president Trump is that he's an avid Fortnite fan
What with all the walls being built
A f**... procession pulled into a cemetery....
Several carloads of family members pulled followed in a black truck towing a boat with a coffin in it.
A passerby remarked, "That guy must have been an avid fisherman".
"Oh, he still is." replied a mourner. "He's headed off to the lake as soon as we bury his wife."
A h**... atheist, A dedicated vegan, and an avid cross-fiter walk into a bar. how can you tell which one is which?
They tell you.
The woman that invented the mirror is now obsessed with her job as an opera singer.
She's an avid diva.
How do you get rid of Jehovah's Witnesses who come knocking on your door?
Tell them you're an avid blood donor.
In memory of my friend's Dad who passed yesterday. What is the definition of an avid competitor?
A man who finishes 1st and 3rd in a j**...-off competition.
Rest easy Mike, you'll be missed.
What does an avid sports books reader do to stave off boredom and danger on a camping trip?
They pack Heat.
I was once an avid s**... of w**......
I did w**... everywhere
I did it in rain
I did it in snow
But I did not, in hail.
My friend is an avid collector of models of famous boats. He just called up the nice lady at the local hobby shop and she was able to find him a small model of the Concordia cruise ship, but she only had the one.
She said she'd put it 'aside' for him
