Avenue Jokes

Following is our collection of outskirts humor and pennsylvania one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Avenue puns for adults, dirty snowplow jokes or clean rural gags for kids.

There is an abundance of ste jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 12 funniest jokes on avenue. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any manhattan witze you can hear about avenue.

The Best jokes about Avenue

An assistant to Donald Trump

>**An assistant to Donald Trump told him she had a fantastic dream last night.**
**There was a huge parade down Pennsylvania Avenue celebrating Trump.** 
**Millions lined the parade route, cheering when the President went past.**
**Bands were playing; children were throwing confetti into the air; there were balloons everywhere.** 
**It was absolutely the BIGGEST CELEBRATION WASHINGTON HAD EVER SEEN!!!**
**Trump was very impressed and said, "That's really great!** 
**By the way, how did I look in your dream? Was my hair okay?"** 
**His assistant said, "I couldn't tell, the casket was closed."**

Blondes At The Bus Stop.

Two blondes are waiting at a bus stop.

A bus pulls up and opens the door. One of the blondes leans inside, asking the driver - "will this bus take me to 5th Avenue?"

The bus driver shakes his head, "no, I'm sorry, it won't" he says.

The other blonde leans inside and asks, "how about me?"

Barry likes the number five.

He is the fifth child in his family, lives on the fifth house on Fifth Avenue, so much so that he sees 5 as his lucky number.

One day he went to the races, and saw a horse named Number Five. He went ahead and placed a huge bet, confident that it'll win him big money.

It finished fifth.

The priest was walking down the street looking sad.

What happened? asked a parishioner.
I am afraid someone from the parish stole my umbrella.
Here's what you do. Next sermon talk about the Ten Commandments and look around when you quote 'Thou shall not steal' and see who bows his head in shame.

Next week the priest walks happily down the avenue, twirling his umbrella.
The smart parishioner said, I see my advice worked.
Not exactly, said the priest. When I reached 'Thou shall not commit adultery,' I remembered where I forgot it.

I was walking down Fifth Avenue today and I found a wallet

I was gonna keep it rather than return it.

But I thought: "Well, if I lost a hundred and fifty dollars, how would I feel?"

And I realized I would want to be taught a lesson.













PS:- This was a joke cracked by Emo Philips way back in the 80s - I really loved it and wanted to share it here


Where did the policeman live? (Warning: British humour)

999 letsby avenue

I was having some trouble with a crossword.

I said to my dad, "I'm stuck on this crossword. Six letters, a broad road in a town or city. I still haven't got it!"

"Avenue?"

"No, I haven't, stop rubbing it in."

Mike Anderson was in the hospital...

He knows that his end is imminent, so he gathers his family:

His wife, his daughter and both of his sons.
He also asks for a nurse, two witnesses and his last will to be recorded.

 


Then he starts speaking:
"Brian, my oldest son, I want you to get castle avenue.

Saskia, my daughter, you get the apartments in the East End.

Jamie, my youngest son, you shall take over the office blocks downtown.

And Sarah, my beloved wife, I'll leave you the apartments in Hackney."

 


After Mike had died the nurse said:

"Mrs Anderson, your husband surely had to work hard to gather that much property!"


"Property?", Mrs Anderson replied, "My husband delivered newspapers!"

Bus Stop Confusion

Two blondes wait at a bus stop.

A bus pulls up and opens the door. One of the blondes leans inside and asks the driver, "Will this bus take me to 5th Avenue?"

The bus driver says, "No, I'm sorry."

The other blonde leans inside and asks, "How about me?"

Why there are so many avenues in France?

Because german soldiers like to march in the shade

Donald Trump could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot someone and it wouldn't change is chances of being elected.

Because you can't have less than a zero percent chance.


The health inspector shut down the restaurant on the corner of main street and second avenue...

A new owner rebuilt the kitchen area. The inspector was very impressed with the new kitchen. Stainless steel counters and shelves. Floors of white marble. More lighting install making a bright and clean looking work area. Tongs hanging everywhere, the food was not touched by human hands.

The inspector noticed a string hanging from the cooks fly and asked "What is the string for?"

The cook replied, "When I go to the bathroom, I do not have to touch it, I just pull it out with the string."

"Oh how neat," replied the inspector, "how do you get it back in?"

The cook responded "With the salad tongs."

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes