Avenue Jokes
15 avenue jokes and hilarious avenue puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about avenue that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Avenue Short Jokes
Short avenue jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The avenue humour may include short aisle jokes also.
- Donald Trump could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot someone and it wouldn't change is chances of being elected. Because you can't have less than a zero percent chance.
- If computers existed back in the 1700s... The White House would be at 1599 Pennsylvania Avenue.
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Avenue One Liners
Which avenue one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with avenue? I can suggest the ones about alleyway and street name.
- Where did the policeman live? (Warning: British humour) 999 letsby avenue
- Which street does the police officer live in? Let's be Avenue
- Where does the policeman live? 999 Letsbe Avenue
Avenue Jokes to Giggle and Enjoy A Night of Unforgettable Laughter
What funny jokes about avenue you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean highway jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make avenue pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An assistant to Donald Trump
>**An assistant to Donald Trump told him she had a fantastic dream last night.**
**There was a huge parade down Pennsylvania Avenue celebrating Trump.**
**Millions lined the parade route, cheering when the President went past.**
**Bands were playing; children were throwing confetti into the air; there were balloons everywhere.**
**It was absolutely the BIGGEST CELEBRATION WASHINGTON HAD EVER SEEN!!!**
**Trump was very impressed and said, "That's really great!**
**By the way, how did I look in your dream? Was my hair okay?"**
**His assistant said, "I couldn't tell, the casket was closed."**
Blondes At The Bus Stop.
Two blondes are waiting at a bus stop.
A bus pulls up and opens the door. One of the blondes leans inside, asking the driver - "will this bus take me to 5th Avenue?"
The bus driver shakes his head, "no, I'm sorry, it won't" he says.
The other blonde leans inside and asks, "how about me?"
Barry likes the number five.
He is the fifth child in his family, lives on the fifth house on Fifth Avenue, so much so that he sees 5 as his lucky number.
One day he went to the races, and saw a horse named Number Five. He went ahead and placed a huge bet, confident that it'll win him big money.
It finished fifth.
I was having some trouble with a crossword.
I said to my dad, "I'm stuck on this crossword. Six letters, a broad road in a town or city. I still haven't got it!"
"Avenue?"
"No, I haven't, stop rubbing it in."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why there are so many avenues in France?
Because german soldiers like to march in the shade
The health inspector shut down the restaurant on the corner of main street and second avenue...
A new owner rebuilt the kitchen area. The inspector was very impressed with the new kitchen. Stainless steel counters and shelves. Floors of white marble. More lighting install making a bright and clean looking work area. Tongs hanging everywhere, the food was not touched by human hands.
The inspector noticed a string hanging from the cooks fly and asked "What is the string for?"
The cook replied, "When I go to the bathroom, I do not have to touch it, I just pull it out with the string."
"Oh how neat," replied the inspector, "how do you get it back in?"
The cook responded "With the salad tongs."
Mike Anderson was in the hospital...
He knows that his end is imminent, so he gathers his family:
His wife, his daughter and both of his sons.
He also asks for a nurse, two witnesses and his last will to be recorded.
Then he starts speaking:
"Brian, my oldest son, I want you to get castle avenue.
Saskia, my daughter, you get the apartments in the East End.
Jamie, my youngest son, you shall take over the office blocks downtown.
And Sarah, my beloved wife, I'll leave you the apartments in Hackney."
After Mike had died the nurse said:
"Mrs Anderson, your husband surely had to work hard to gather that much property!"
"Property?", Mrs Anderson replied, "My husband delivered newspapers!"
The priest was walking down the street looking sad.
What happened? asked a parishioner.
I am afraid someone from the parish stole my umbrella.
Here's what you do. Next sermon talk about the Ten Commandments and look around when you quote 'Thou shall not steal' and see who bows his head in shame.
Next week the priest walks happily down the avenue, twirling his umbrella.
The smart parishioner said, I see my advice worked.
Not exactly, said the priest. When I reached 'Thou shall not commit adultery,' I remembered where I forgot it.
