Avalanche Jokes

Following is our collection of skiers humor and landslide one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Avalanche puns for adults, dirty massacre jokes or clean flatmates gags for kids.

There is an abundance of truck jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 18 funniest jokes on avalanche. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any knapsack witze you can hear about avalanche.

The Best jokes about Avalanche

Given the terms crab , tuna , lobster , and Chinese guy caught in an avalanche of boulders , which does not fit?

Ans: tuna . The other 3 are crushed asians.

3 men are lined up for the firing squad...

...and they will be shot in public. The first guy, not willing to die, thought of a great way to trick the squad. Just as the guns were raised to shoot him, the guy pointed behind the squad and shouted, "Avalanche!" The firing squad was tricked, and as they looked behind them, the guy ran away. The second guy decided to try the same trick himself. So as the guns were raised again, he pointed behind the squad, shouting, "Flood!" Again, the squad fell for it, and as they looked behind them, the second guy ran away. The third guy was utterly impressed by what the first two guys did to save themselves, so he decided to try out the trick himself. As the guns were raised once more to shoot him, the third guy shouted out, **"Fire!"**

Two dogs and a cat appeared in heaven

Two dogs and a cat appeared in heaven and were seeking admission. God Himself decided to hear their appeal from His judgement seat.

The St Bernard said "I was a valued rescue dog and helped find those nuns after the avalanche."

"Fine then, you're in," said God.

The collie said, "I was always faithful to my master and brought the family together when they were down."

"Sounds wonderful," said God. "Welcome."

Then it was the cat's turn. "Why should we let you in?" asked God.

"Well actually, I think you're in my chair."

Three guys are at a firing squad...

...and they will be shot in public. The first guy, not willing to die, thought of a great way to trick the squad. Just as the guns were raised to shoot him, the guy pointed behind the squad and shouted, "Avalanche!" The firing squad was tricked, and as they looked behind them, the guy ran away. The second guy decided to try the same trick himself. So as the guns were raised again, he pointed behind the squad, shouting, "Flood!" Again, the squad fell for it, and as they looked behind them, the second guy ran away. The third guy was utterly impressed by what the first two guys did to save themselves, so he decided to try out the trick himself. As the guns were raised once more to shoot him, the third guy shouted out, "Fire!"

Talking dog for sale

A guy spots a sign outside a house that reads Talking Dog for Sale. Intrigued, he walks in.

So what have you done with your life? he asks the dog.

I've led a very full life, says the dog. I lived in the Alps rescuing avalanche victims. Then I served my country in Iraq. And now I spend my days reading to the residents of a retirement home.

The guy is flabbergasted. He asks the dog's owner, Why on Earth would you want to get rid of an incredible dog like that?

The owner says, Because he's a liar! He never did any of that!


What is white and disturbs your breakfast?

An avalanche

What is white and disturbs people while they are demonstrating?

An avalanche.

A classic one

An Englishman, a Frenchman, and a Swede are all captured and need to be killed by a firing squad.

The Englishman is the first to go up, and the countdown is given. 3... 2... but before they can fire, the Englishman yells, Avalanche! and all of the firing squad is distracted and then the Englishman escapes.

The Frenchman is next, and the countdown is given. 3....2... but before they can fire, the Frenchman yells, Tornado! and all of the firing squad is distracted and then the Frenchman escapes.

Finally, it's the Swede's turn. The countdown is given. 3.....
2.... but before they can say 1 the Swede yells Fire!

They say Norio Suzuki died in an avalanche while searching for the yeti.

But think about it for even a little bit, you'll realize this so-called avalanche is really just a massive cover-up.

What's white and super annoying at breakfast?

An avalanche

Talking dog for sale

A guy spots a sign outside a house that reads

"Talking dog for sale"

Intrigued he walks in and sees the dog

"So what have you done with your life?" he asks the dog

"I have had a very full life" says the dog

"I have lived in the Alps, rescued avalanche victims, I served my country in Iraq,
and now I spend my days reading to the residents of a retirement home"

The guy is flabbergasted. He asks the dog's owner

"This is incredible! why on earth do you want to get rid of this dog?"

The owner says "Because he's a liar! He never did any of that."


What is white and disturbs your lunch?

An avalanche

All of the world's natural disaster met to decide which one was the worst.

Avalanche won by a landslide.

An avalanche has started on Mount Everest that threatens to wipe out 20% of its surrounding area.

This is snow joke.

What is white and disturbes your dinner?

An avalanche.

Terrain Disasters

What do you call white people rolling down a hill? --Avalanche

What do you call Hispanic people rolling down a hill? --Landslide

What do you call black people rolling down a hill? --Jailbreak

Three guys are at a firing squad...

...and are being shot in public. The first guy, who is not willing to die, thought of a great way to trick the firing squad. As they were getting ready to shoot the guy, he pointed behind the squad and yelled, "Avalanche!" The firing squad and the crowd fell for the trick, and as they turned their back, the guy ran away. The second guy did the same thing, but this time, shouting, "Flood!" Again, the firing squad and the crowd fell for it, and the guy ran away as they turned their back. The third guy was impressed, and decided to try the trick himself. As the squad was about to shoot him, he shouted out, "Fire!"

After weeks of no new uploads, high-quality ripper Silvagunner was found dead along with 20 others in a ski resort avalanche.

He died of snow in-halation.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes