The Best 37 Autopsy Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Autopsy jokes. There are some autopsy morgue jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these autopsy forensic puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Autopsy Jokes and Puns
Two medical students are about to witness an autopsy for the first time...
One asks the other, "What do you think it'll be like?"
The other student shrugs and says, "Remains to be seen".
A patient complained to his doctor...
"I've been to three other doctors and none of them agreed with your diagnosis."
The doctor calmly replied, "Just wait until the autopsy, then you'll see that I was right."
How do you find out if a dead man has autism?
You give them an autopsy
To help me get over my recently developed elevator phobia my friend invited me to an Open Mike night.
Worst autopsy ever!
A duck was found dead on the sidewalk today...
The autopsy revealed he overdosed on quack.
Michael Jackson's latest autopsy report states that he didn't actually die at home.
He died in the hospital - he was found in the children's ward having a stroke.
I found out I'm a necrophiliac.
How, you ask? I walked into an autopsy. It was stiff.
A man comes home from work...
A man comes home from work and he finds his wife furious at him.
She screams "Why did you sleep with my sister while you were at work!?"
He replies "Well she was lying on the table, naked, and you know she's an attractive woman, so what did you expect me to do?"
"Perform the autopsy."
Open Mike Night sounded like a lot of fun...
... Until I realized I'd been invited to an autopsy
Coroner's Report
Coroner: Report complete.
Police: What was the cause of death?
Coroner: The cause of death was that I sliced him open and performed an autopsy.
The Police are looking into George Michaels' death.
When the press asked if an autopsy would be performed, the coroner was quoted as saying: "Well I guess it would be nice, if I could touch his body."
You can explore autopsy autopsy professor reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean autopsy postmortem dad jokes. There are also autopsy puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
The man who invented the Kinder Surprise had died.
The pathologist who does his autopsy is in for a treat.
Autopsy confirms George Michael choked on a chocolate bar
It was a Careless Whisper
A man cheats with his wife's sister
Man: Calm down! You haven't heard my side of the story!
Wife: You slept with my sister!
Man: When i got to work she was just laying there naked on my table! What was I supposed to do?!
Wife: The autopsy!
PS: Didnt make this up
"Nurse, where are we going?"
"To the morgue."
"But I haven't died yet!"
"The doc said 'to the morgue' — to the morgue it is!"
"But what is wrong with me?!"
"The autopsy will show!"
My aunt died in the worst way possible.
During her autopsy
What did the lead coroner do when he and the other coroners were asked to perform an autopsy?
He cracked open a cold one with the boys.
Autopsy shows Michael Jackson died from food poisoning....
they found a 12 year old wiener stuck in his throat.
Autopsy finished on Bruce Forsyth
Official notice : Bruce Forsyth died of a seizure, nice to seizure, to seizure nice
What was under Prince's autopsy table?
Purple Drain
Why is it called autopsy..
A man was arguing with his wife...
Her: I can't believe you had sex with my sister!
Him: I was at my job, and she was there just lying on the table naked. What else was i supposed to do?
Her: The freaking autopsy!
I Used to work in a pathology lab...
I was forced to leave when one of my reports said "Cause of Death: Autopsy"
We thought my grandmother died in the best way possible.
Peacefully, in her sleep.
But then we done an autopsy and found out we were wrong. She died in the worst way possible.
During an autopsy.
Wife: I cannot believe you had sex with my sister!
Husband: I walked in the room and she was lying there naked! What was I supposed to do?
Wife: The Autopsy!
I always wondered why do people cut themselves
They're just doing and autopsy
Good news; Ruth Bader Ginsburg shows no evidence of cancer
...autopsy results revealed.
Man: Doctor, is it serious?!
Doctor: Oh my God, stop the autopsy!!
Everyone was excited at the autopsy club...
It was open Mike night.
There is a new autopsy club in town and last night it was packed.
It was open mike night.
An autopsy is performed on a potential murder victim
They suspect murder however an autopsy reveals that all of the inside organs are in completely wrong areas, they conclude with he is very disorganised
Everyone was excited
Everyone was excited at Autopsy Club.
Apparently, it was open Mike night.
What do you call the game Operation without the batteries?
Autopsy
A man was found dead in his apartment. His friends claimed he died because he bet that he could eat $500
The autopsy concludes that, indeed, he put his money where his mouth was
Two men are talking to each other
M1: I can not believe you slept with her!
M2:What was I supposed to do she was just laying there naked!
M1:The autopsy!!!
M2:Ohh
M1:You are the worst vet I know
The autopsy report came back from the inmate who hung himself in his cell
He had the Epstein-behindBarrs virus
An Attorney and a Doctor in court...
Attorney: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
Doctor: No.
Attorney: Did you check for blood pressure?
Doctor: No.
Attorney: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
Doctor: No.
Attorney: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
Doctor: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Attorney: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
Doctor: It is possible that he could have been alive and practising law somewhere.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the autopsy corpse jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working autopsy lying piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.