Autopilot Jokes

Following is our collection of auton humor and plummet one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Autopilot puns for adults, dirty worldwide jokes or clean midas gags for kids.

There is an abundance of dadglasses jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 10 funniest jokes on autopilot. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any turbulence witze you can hear about autopilot.

The Best jokes about Autopilot

Pilot to co-pilot

The Air Canada plane leaves Pearson Airport under the control of a Jewish captain; his co-pilot is Chinese.
It's the first time they've flown together and an awkward silence between
the two seems to indicate a mutual dislike.
Once they reach cruising altitude, the Jewish captain activates the
auto-pilot, leans back in his seat, and mutters,
'I don't like Chinese..'
'No rike Chinese?' asks the co-pilot, 'why not?'
'You people bombed Pearl Harbor , that's why!'
'No, no', the co-pilot protests, 'Chinese not bomb Peahl Hahbah!
That Japanese, not Chinese.'
'Japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese....doesn't matter, you're all alike!'
There's a few minutes of silence.
'I no rike Jews!' the co-pilot suddenly announces.
'Oh yeah, why not?' asks the captain.
'Jews sink Titanic!' says the co-pilot.
'What? You're insane! Jews didn't sink the Titanic!' exclaims the captain,
'It was an iceberg!'
Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg, Rosenberg , ..no mattah...all fukin same.

99 dead in Tesla autopilot car crash

This has caused Tesla to drop all ideas of a battle Royale mode for Tesla cars

Two pilots

A plane leaves Heathrow Airport under the control of a Jewish captain. His copilot is Chinese. It's the first time they've flown together and an awkward silence between the two seems to indicate a mutual dislike.

Once they reach cruising altitude, the Jewish captain activates the auto-pilot, leans back in his seat, and mutters, "I don't like Chinese."

"No rike Chinese?" asks the copilot, "why not?"

"You people bombed Pearl Harbor , that's why!"

"No, no", the co-pilot protests, "Chinese not bomb Peahl Hahbah" That Japanese, not Chinese."

"Japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese...doesn't matter, you're all alike."

There's a few minutes of silence....


"I no rike Jews." the copilot suddenly announces.

"Oh yeah, why not?" Asks the captain.

"Jews sink Titanic." says the co-pilot.

"What? That's insane! Jews didn't sink the Titanic!" exclaims the captain "It was an iceberg."

"Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg, Rosenberg , Gilberg, nomattah...all same."

Autopilot really won't replace good, high paying jobs for airline captains...

I talked to one who said his career was just taking off.

Airline pilot...

An airline pilot makes the usual announcements over the cabin PA system as the plane reaches cruising altitude. He then sets the plane on autopilot and turns to the co-pilot and jokes- All I need now is a cup of coffee and a blow job.

Unbeknownst to the captain, the mic is still active and everybody can hear what the captain is saying.

Suddenly, an alert flight attendant bolts toward the cockpit to tell the pilot his mic is stuck.

As she's nearing the door, an old timer stands up and shouts- Stop! You forgot his coffee!


Tesla's autopilot doesn't like Malevitch

If it's white on white, they'll just ignore it.

How can you see that a Tesla is on AutoPilot?

It uses its turn indicators.

Tesla car crashes on auto-pilot!

But it did record major life events about your friends and notify you saying "Auto-Pilot Engaged"

Terrible one-liner I came up with while on autopilot at work.

I'm not saying I'm a sex guru, but I know most of the ins and outs

I asked an alien if they let their women drive the spaceships...

He said "Yes if it's on autopilot"

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes