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Automobile Jokes

48 automobile jokes and hilarious automobile puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about automobile that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Automobile Short Jokes

Short automobile jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The automobile humour may include short vehicle jokes also.

  1. My wife told me I had to give up drinking So I joined the AA.
    Unfortunately, I joined the Automobile Association by mistake.
    At least either way I'm on the road to recovery.
  2. What has 10 letters and starts with Gas? Automobile!
    Everyone says gasoline because they don't think about it.
  3. What do you get when you cross the Queen and Prince Charles? Killed in an automobile accident.
  4. Steve Rogers gets into Santa Claus's automobile... ...and is immediately shot dead.
    RIP Steve Rogers.
    He was capped in a merry car.
  5. Dad joke: what would happen if everyone in a country drove a pink automobile? We would have a pink car nation.
    (Like the flower..... ok I'll see myself out...)
  6. if everyone in the United States drove a pink automobile what would we have? a pink carnation
  7. What do you call a dinosaur with a super high automobile insurance premium? Tyrannosaurus Wrecks
  8. Why do police officers keep water in the automobile trunk? Because they don't want the siren to die.
  9. What happened to the man who stole an automobile but died when he crashed and burned it during a police chase? He was incarcinerated.
  10. Wrote a joke. I wrote this joke- Where does Frankenstein's automobile go to rest..?
    Boris' Karl loft.

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Automobile One Liners

Which automobile one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with automobile? I can suggest the ones about sports car and import car.

  1. Why are Russian automobiles the most unreliable? They're always Stalin
  2. What has 10 letters and starts with Gas? Automobile
  3. What is a ten letter word that starts with gas. Automobile
  4. What's the Preferred Luxury Automobile of Sushi Chefs around the world? Rolls Rice
  5. What do you get when you cross an automobile with a household animal? A very upset child.
  6. Why did the fascist automobile stop moving? Its engine was Stalin.
  7. What is the most important part of an automobile? The nut that holds the wheel.
  8. Did you hear about the most recent Vietnamese automobile? It was Nguyen improved.
  9. Author Unknown "A tree never hits an automobile except in self-defense."
  10. Where did the blonde with a drinking problem go? To the Automobiles Association.
  11. What is a Karen America? An automobile.
  12. What's an automobiles favorite article of clothing? A CARdigan
  13. What type of automobile do petite barrel-makers prefer? Mini Cooper.
  14. What is the saddest automobile? The Saab.
  15. What do you call a luxury automobile with a built in Artificial intelligence? Alexus.

Automobile joke, What do you call a luxury automobile with a built in Artificial intelligence?

Uproarious Automobile Jokes to Share with Friends

What funny jokes about automobile you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean cars jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make automobile pranks.

A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down.

AAA (Antarctic Automobile Assn) tows it to the garage in the nearest town, where the mechanic says he has time to look at it, give him half an hour.
The penguin wanders down the street to an ice cream shop and decides to beat the heat with a cone of his favorite flavor, vanilla. Of course, being a penguin, with flippers instead of hands, as well as a beak, he makes a huge mess and gets ice cream all over his face. h**... goes back to the garage, where the mechanic tells him "looks like you blew a seal."
"No," says the penguin. "That's just ice cream."

Saw some great soviet jokes on here. Here's one from President Reagan...

Buying a car in the Soviet Union is not quite so easy as buying a car in the United States. There's a terrible automobile shortage so you have to pay the money up front and then wait, sometimes many years, until a car is made available to you.
On one occasion, at the height of the shortage, a man went down to his local dealership to buy a car. After he had accepted the man's money and the paperwork had been signed, the dealer informed the man that his car would be ready in 10 years and that he could come back then and pick it up.
Taking note of the date, the man turned to leave but paused on his way out the door and asked, "morning or afternoon?"
"It's 10 years from now, what difference does it make?" replied the dealer.
"Well, I'm busy in the morning." said the man.
Confused, the dealer asked, "what could you possibly have planned for the morning ten years from today?"
"The plumber's coming to fix my sink," replied the man.

Three automobile managers at the u**...

The first goes to the sink and dries his hands with so many paper towels that not even the smallest droplet remains. "At Opel, we learn to be extremely thorough," he says.
The second uses only one towel for this and remarks: "At BMW, we also learn to be extremely efficient."
The third walks past the sink and says, "At Daimler, we don't p**... all over our hands!"

Agreement

My wife and I have an agreement that works...
She is responsible for the small decisions, and I am responsible for the big ones.
This means that she decides things like where to take our next vacation, the color of our next car, and the construction budget for adding on the new family room.
I decide whether or not the President should extend most favored nation trading status to China, how high the Federal Reserve should go with short term interest rates, and the timetable for the elimination of CFCs from automobile air conditioners.

The locked car...

When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "it's open!" His reply: "I know. I already got that side."

An officer stops a speeding automobile on the highway which was driving two times the speed limit.

The driver steps out full of remorse.
"Sorry officer, was I driving too fast?"
"Nah, you were flying too low"

My uncle has a television set in his automobile, but it led to a little trouble.

You see, he was sitting in the car, watching television, while his wife was driving on the highway at sixty miles per hour.
Then the commercial came on, and he stepped out to go to the bathroom

What do you call a n**...'s automobile?

A swastikar.

Ok folks, all you automobile experts, I need your advice. I'm ready to buy a brand new top model fast car, budgeting around a million. Can you please suggest..............

..............Where can I get the money from?

Hear about the guy that built a car by stealing it piece by piece?

Well, it's a '49, '50, '51, '52, '53, '54, '55, '56, '57, '58, '59 automobile

Automobile joke, What type of automobile do petite barrel-makers prefer?

jokes about automobile