The Best 33 Automobile Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Automobile jokes. There are some automobile ford jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these automobile porsche puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Automobile Jokes and Puns

A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down.

AAA (Antarctic Automobile Assn) tows it to the garage in the nearest town, where the mechanic says he has time to look at it, give him half an hour.

The penguin wanders down the street to an ice cream shop and decides to beat the heat with a cone of his favorite flavor, vanilla. Of course, being a penguin, with flippers instead of hands, as well as a beak, he makes a huge mess and gets ice cream all over his face. Hoe goes back to the garage, where the mechanic tells him "looks like you blew a seal."

"No," says the penguin. "That's just ice cream."

What has 10 letters and starts with Gas?


Saw some great soviet jokes on here. Here's one from President Reagan...

Buying a car in the Soviet Union is not quite so easy as buying a car in the United States. There's a terrible automobile shortage so you have to pay the money up front and then wait, sometimes many years, until a car is made available to you.
On one occasion, at the height of the shortage, a man went down to his local dealership to buy a car. After he had accepted the man's money and the paperwork had been signed, the dealer informed the man that his car would be ready in 10 years and that he could come back then and pick it up.
Taking note of the date, the man turned to leave but paused on his way out the door and asked, "morning or afternoon?"
"It's 10 years from now, what difference does it make?" replied the dealer.
"Well, I'm busy in the morning." said the man.
Confused, the dealer asked, "what could you possibly have planned for the morning ten years from today?"
"The plumber's coming to fix my sink," replied the man.

Automobile joke, Saw some great soviet jokes on here. Here's one from President Reagan...

My wife told me I had to give up drinking

So I joined the AA.
Unfortunately, I joined the Automobile Association by mistake.
At least either way I'm on the road to recovery.

What has 10 letters and starts with Gas?

Everyone says gasoline because they don't think about it.

What is a ten letter word that starts with gas.


What do you get when you cross the Queen and Prince Charles?

Killed in an automobile accident.

Automobile joke, What do you get when you cross the Queen and Prince Charles?

Steve Rogers gets into Santa Claus's automobile...

...and is immediately shot dead.

RIP Steve Rogers.

He was capped in a merry car.

The locked car...

When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "it's open!" His reply: "I know. I already got that side."

Dad joke: what would happen if everyone in a country drove a pink automobile?

We would have a pink car nation.

(Like the flower..... ok I'll see myself out...)

What do you get when you cross an automobile with a household animal?

A very upset child.

You can explore automobile auto reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean automobile pontiac dad jokes. There are also automobile puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

if everyone in the United States drove a pink automobile what would we have?

a pink carnation

What do you call a dinosaur with a super high automobile insurance premium?

Tyrannosaurus Wrecks

Why did the fascist automobile stop moving?

Its engine was Stalin.

Did you hear about the most recent Vietnamese automobile?

It was Nguyen improved.

Author Unknown

"A tree never hits an automobile except in self-defense."

Automobile joke, Author Unknown

An officer stops a speeding automobile on the highway which was driving two times the speed limit.

The driver steps out full of remorse.

"Sorry officer, was I driving too fast?"

"Nah, you were flying too low"

Why do police officers keep water in the automobile trunk?

Because they don't want the siren to die.

What is a Karen America?

An automobile.

What's an automobiles favorite article of clothing?

A CARdigan

My uncle has a television set in his automobile, but it led to a little trouble.

You see, he was sitting in the car, watching television, while his wife was driving on the highway at sixty miles per hour.

Then the commercial came on, and he stepped out to go to the bathroom

What do you call a Nazi's automobile?

A swastikar.

What happened to the man who stole an automobile but died when he crashed and burned it during a police chase?

He was incarcinerated.

Ok folks, all you automobile experts, I need your advice. I'm ready to buy a brand new top model fast car, budgeting around a million. Can you please suggest..............

..............Where can I get the money from?

Wrote a joke.

I wrote this joke- Where does Frankenstein's automobile go to rest..?
Boris' Karl loft.

Hear about the guy that built a car by stealing it piece by piece?

Well, it's a '49, '50, '51, '52, '53, '54, '55, '56, '57, '58, '59 automobile

What type of automobile do petite barrel-makers prefer?

Mini Cooper.

What is the saddest automobile?

The Saab.

They are going to change the name of the AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) as people kept getting it mixed up with AA (automobile Association)

The new name will be The Royal alcoholics Club...the RAC!

What do you call a luxury automobile with a built in Artificial intelligence?


What do you call phone sex in a car?

Auto-mobile sex

What would Donald Trump say if he was a revolutionary automobile manufacturer?

"Any color at all, so long as it's white."

What do you call a white man that needs to get across town but he doesn't have an automobile?

A taxi.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the automobile mileage jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working automobile convertible piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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