The Best 32 Automatically Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Automatically jokes. There are some automatically permanently jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these automatically autopilot puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Automatically Jokes and Puns

Driving home from the bar, one of the boy's was showing off his new self-driving car.

"Look" he said proudly as the car stopped automatically at an intersection.

From the back seat, one of the drunks wakes up to say: "One way or another, don't all cars stop on their own?"

Every time I walk into a restaurant...

I automatically find the condiments, because my Heinz-sight is 20/20.

Password reset

A man was was unable to log into his online banking account and he pulled up the online chat support.

"I put in my password and I cannot access my account"

"Sorry that password has expired- you must register a new one."

"Did anyone discover that password and hack my computer?"

"No, but your password has expired- you must get a new one."

"Why then do I need a new one as that one seems to be working pretty well?"

"Well, you must get a new one as they automatically expire every 90 days."

"Can I use the old one and just re-register it?"

"No, you must get a new one."

"I don't want a new one as that is one more thing for me to remember."

"Sorry, you must get a new one."

"OK, roses."

"Sorry you must use more letters."

"OK, pretty roses"

"No good, you must use at least one numerical character."

"OK, 1 pretty rose"

"Sorry, you cannot use blank spaces."

"OK, 1prettyrose"

"Sorry, you must use additional characters."

"OK, 1fuckingprettyrose"

"Sorry, you must use at least one capital letter."


"Sorry, you cannot use more than one capital letter in a row."

"OK, 1Fuckingprettyrose"

"Sorry, you cannot use that password as you must use additional letters."

"OK, 1Fuckingprettyroseshovedupyourassifyoudon'tgivemeaccessrightfuckingnow"

"Sorry, you cannot use that password as it is already being used"

Automatically joke, Password reset

Automatic light

A husband speaks to his wife after waking up in the morning, frantic.

"Honey, you won't believe it! I went to the bathroom last night and the light turned on automatically! Weird huh?"

Annoyed, she yells at him:

"You crapped in the fridge again!"

A pokemon trainer walks into a bar...

The bartender says, "Wow, you're in luck, we're running a contest, and the first to drink 15 bottles of Samuel Adams new lager wins a MagiKarp!"

The trainer replies, "Uhh, who cares? Why would anyone bother competing for a MagiKarp?"

The bartender answers, "Because anyone who drinks Sam Adams automatically gets TM 87"
"What's TM 87?"

Someone talking about something passionately automatically makes them 10 times cuter, unless it's Hitler...

Then it's only nein times cuter

Do criminals who stutter automatically get longer sentences?

Automatically joke, Do criminals who stutter automatically get longer sentences?

What do you call a machine that automatically paddles your boat?

A row bot.

An old man goes back to bed ...

And asks his wife " does the light in our bathroom turn on and off automatically ", she replies with "No why?", the old man sighs and says "well.... I'm going to buy a new fridge tomorrow"

I like my women like I like my motion detecting light.

She automatically gets turned on when I enter her line of sight.

Whenever someone makes a premature blanket conclusion based on a single piece of information...

I automatically assume they're a complete idiot.

You can explore automatically signal reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean automatically appliances dad jokes. There are also automatically puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

I've invented a golf ball that will automatically go in the hole if it comes within 4 inches.

They work brilliantly, just don't carry them in your back pocket.

Ok, don't panic…

If we hold the North Pole and South Pole down simultaneously for three seconds, it'll automatically restore to factory settings.

Men Are Like Bluetooth

Men Are Like Bluetooth…

Always Connected When Wife Is Around…
The Moment Wife Is Away…

They Automatically Starts Searching For New Devices…

I want to name my new band "In search of 72 virgins".

That way people will just automatically assume we are the bomb.

When in doubt ...

Wife : I doubt my husband has been cheating on me.... I have doubt on one woman we both know.... What to do?

Shrink: Take your husband to that woman's doorstep and see if his wi-fi connects automatically.

Automatically joke, When in doubt ...

Have you heard about the device that automatically swaps out Xbox discs for you?

It's a game changer.

This awesome new TV automatically set subtitles to Italian for my Italian girlfriend

I guess the CIA picked up on her hand gestures.

Why would Cheap Apple Headphones make great shoelaces?

Because they automatically tie themselves

Why do women not propose to men?

Because as soon as a woman goes down on her knees, a man automatically unzips.

Two chemists walk into a bar.

The first chemist, who had a major disagreement with the second and knows the second chemist only drink water, says to the bartender, "I'll take some H2O."

The second chemist automatically responds, "I'll take some H2O too."

The bartender shrugs then turns around and promptly gives the first chemist his glass of water, and the second chemist a glass of water too... because the bartender is an adult and can infer meaning from contextual clues.

Thank god Chris Christie wasn't wearing his Stars'n'Stripes speedo on the beach yesterday...

Puerto Rico, Guam, the U.S. Virgin Islands, and the Marianas would've been automatically granted statehood.


Every time I see or hear anything related to the NBC news network, my brain automatically goes: Nuclear, Biological, Chemical.

God bless grandma.

If a Canadian trips in the woods

And there's no one around to hear him

Does he still automatically apologize?

How many Elon Musk does it take to change a light bulb?

Just 1. Then 0 because we'll engineer a robot to do it automatically.

β€ͺI hereby declare anything black and white in the ratio 5:1 is automatically a meme.‬

I invented a new golf ball that'll automatically go in the hole if it gets within four inches.

Do NOT carry them in your back pocket.

A man is alone and lost in the desert.

He takes his phone :
-Please help i'm lost on the desert. This phone automatically calls for the nearest person, what's your location ?

You automatically go Sick-o Mode after having sex with a girl

With AIDS.

If you see a bunch of big black birds

Don't automatically assume it's a murder of crows.

You can't have a murder without probable caws.

When I post a joke on my ten year cake day, it automatically becomes a dad joke.

It's become full groan...

I invented a new golf ball for amateurs that will automatically go in the hole if you get it within four inches.

Disclaimer: Do not carry it in your back pocket!

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the automatically automatic jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working automatically automation piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes