The Best 61 Autistic Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Autistic jokes. There are some autistic aut jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these autistic autistic kid puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Autistic Jokes and Puns
TIL unvaccinated children are less likely to be autistic
Because they are more likely to be dead
I used to think my drawings made me autistic...
it turns out my Grandma was just from Boston.
Worst pickup lines
I must be autistic, because you've been running through my mind all day.
I have an autistic nephew...
and I'm starting to think my dog is autistic as well because she also barks at the vacuum.
My autistic 7 year-old battling cancer told me this joke while adopting a shelter puppy
Why did the painter from Boston have trouble making friends?
He was way too autistic for his own good.
Why do so many artists in Boston identify as autistic?
I'm probably the best artist in my class...
...yet my British art teacher keeps calling me autistic.
A new study shows that unvaccinated children are less likely to be autistic
Because they are more likely to be dead.
How much money does the Government pay people with autistic disorder?
Enough to buy a computer that can play League of Legends.
A black man and an autistic man walk into a bar
The autistic man orders a shot, but the black man gets it instead
You can explore autistic aspergers reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean autistic asd dad jokes. There are also autistic puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
What do you call a stick with autism?
Autistic
My teacher told me that I am unique
But when I told my mom what my teacher said she replied," Sweetie, just because you are autistic doesn't make you special".
A son says to his father...
A son says to his father "Dad, I forget. Am I awesome or fantastic?"
The father replies "No son, you're autistic."
What do you get when you mix a public speaker with someone who had tourettes?
A clock!
One provides the tic, the other provides the talk
Credit to my Autistic Big Bro
An autistic and a vegan walk into a bar
You only know because they mention it every other sentence
Being autistic is a bit like being a photon...
Getting from here to someplace else is instantaneous, but what happens in between is incomprehensible.
(source: am autistic)
They told me I was altruistic...
...I gave all my stuff away before I found out they misspelled Autistic :(
What was the autistic kid on the floor doing?
His best
My mom told me I was autistic
But I'm not good at drawing.
I gave some autistic kids weed...
And now I have baked potatoes.
There is a sign in my town that reads "DRIVE SLOW AUTISTIC CHILD"
First of all, he has a name.
Secondly, if he has his license he should know good and well how to drive and there is no need to single him out like that.
At what age does the average 4chan user find out they're autistic?
thREEEEEEEEE
What do you call a Minecraft server run for autistic children?
A regular Minecraft server.
What was the autistic boy doing on the ground?
His best.
Roses are red
Violets are violet
This makes no sense
Autistic pilot
I told my son he couldn't get a fidget spinner because his dad and I have tried so hard to make sure he didn't become autistic...
Unfortunately he died of measles a couple days ago
TIL that children that don't get vaccines are actually less likely to be autistic
Cause they're more likely to be dead.
What is slowly making a comeback?
The autistic child i just insulted.
Why do autistic kids solve math problems for fun?
Because they enjoy being mentaly challenged.
What do you call an autistic metal band?
Headbangers.
After extensive research, I've concluded that unvaccinated children will have a higher chance of not being on the Autistic Spectrum
Instead, they have a considerable higher chance of being dead...
I saw an autistic kid being beat up by three guys. I couldn't just stand there.
There was no way he stood a chance against all four of us.
Are you made of gold, titanium, sulfur, and carbon?
Because you're AuTiSTiC.
What company did the autistic man start?
Charter Spectrum
I let the autistic kid have my seat on the bus.
And that, is how I lost my job _and_ my license.
Results show that unvaccinated children are much less likely of turning out autistic.
Because they're dead.
I used have a friend who was on the spectrum
I asked him, On what spectrum, the electromagnetic spectrum?
He responded, No, I'm autistic.
So I responded, So what, you don't understand jokes?
I beat up a British man today for calling me autistic.
Turns out he just really likes my drawings.
Do you know why more vaccinated than unvaccinated children have autism?
Because you have to be alive to be autistic
You know, all autistic people have had vaccines..
Because if they didn't they would be dead.
What did the Jewish Bostonian woman declare to her Sunday bridge group about her recent knitting project?
"I'm so AUtistic!"
A british man reviewed my art the other day
He said I was very autistic. How mean!
Scientists discovered that unvaccinated kids are less likely to be autistic.
Because they are more likely to be dead.
What's for dinner when a cannibal cooks up an autistic person?
Ass-burgers
I shouldn't make blanket statements about autistic people but…
a lot of them do enjoy being wrapped in blankets.
If you're German and autistic?
Wouldn't you be auschwitztic?
What do you call an autistic Jew?
Auschwitztic
I work with an autistic kid. The other day I drew something terribly on the computer screen and told him I'm artistic
He said me too I'm on the spectrum.
What do you call hypocrite , autistic , cringy , lying delusional human beings ?
Youtubers (90%)
What do you call it when an autistic child has a fever?
Mercury Rising.
What do you call a group of autistic soldiers?
Special Forces
You guys just buy into anything big pharma tells you don't you?
You guys just buy into anything big pharma tells you don't you? i'll have you know my son was diagnosed with the measles so I placed various crystals around his bed while he slept to promote the proper aura for healing.
He's dead now but at least he's not autistic
My friend told me that I must be autistic for not vaccinating my children.
It's such a shame that people still don't know how autism works.
A grown man called me autistic today.
Never talking to my psychiatrist again.
I let my kids play only with the autistic children.
That way I know for sure they've been vaccinated.
What do you call an autistic soldier?
Special forces.
It's true that vaccinated kids have higher chances of becoming autistic
Because they actually live to develop it
Did you hear about the autistic guitar pick?
He's a plectrum on the spectrum.
What do you call an autistic guy in the army?
Special Forces
(my friend said this, i dont know if this is a repost)
I told my friend in Boston that I was autistic.
He said so can you drawr me a Pictsha?
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the autistic autist jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working autistic unvaccinated piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.