Autistic Jokes

105 autistic jokes and hilarious autistic puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about autistic that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

This article contains a list of jokes about people with autism.

Funniest Autistic Short Jokes

Short autistic jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The autistic humour may include short autism jokes also.

  1. TIL unvaccinated children are less likely to be autistic Because they are more likely to be dead
  2. A new study shows that unvaccinated children are less likely to be autistic Because they are more likely to be dead.
  3. I told my son he couldn't get a fidget spinner because his dad and I have tried so hard to make sure he didn't become autistic... Unfortunately he died of measles a couple days ago
  4. A black man and an autistic man walk into a bar The autistic man orders a shot, but the black man gets it instead
  5. Do you know why more vaccinated than unvaccinated children have autism? Because you have to be alive to be autistic
  6. Scientists discovered that unvaccinated kids are less likely to be autistic. Because they are more likely to be dead.
  7. TIL that children that don't get vaccines are actually less likely to be autistic Cause they're more likely to be dead.
  8. A son says to his father... A son says to his father "Dad, I forget. Am I awesome or fantastic?"
    The father replies "No son, you're autistic."
  9. I used to think my drawings made me autistic... it turns out my Grandma was just from Boston.
  10. I let the autistic kid have my seat on the bus. And that, is how I lost my job _and_ my license.

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Autistic One Liners

Which autistic one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with autistic? I can suggest the ones about asthmatic and allergic.

  1. What do you call a stick with autism? Autistic
  2. At what age does the average 4chan user find out they're autistic? thREEEEEEEEE
  3. Are you made of gold, titanium, sulfur, and carbon? Because you're AuTiSTiC.
  4. Did you hear about the autistic guitar pick? He's a plectrum on the spectrum.
  5. My autistic 7 year-old battling cancer told me this joke while adopting a shelter puppy
  6. What is slowly making a comeback? The autistic child i just insulted.
  7. Why do so many artists in Boston identify as autistic?
  8. My mom told me I was autistic But I'm not good at drawing.
  9. A grown man called me autistic today. Never talking to my psychiatrist again.
  10. If you're German and autistic? Wouldn't you be auschwitztic?
  11. What was the autistic kid on the floor doing? His best
  12. I told my friend in Boston that I was autistic. He said so can you drawr me a Pictsha?
  13. Roses are red Violets are violet
    This makes no sense
    Autistic pilot
  14. What do you call a mentally challenged rapper? Why a rap autist of course.
  15. What do you call a group of autistic soldiers? Special Forces

Autistic Kid Jokes

Here is a list of funny autistic kid jokes and even better autistic kid puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I let my kids play only with the autistic children. That way I know for sure they've been vaccinated.
  • It's true that vaccinated kids have higher chances of becoming autistic Because they actually live to develop it
  • Why do autistic kids solve math problems for fun? Because they enjoy being mentaly challenged.
  • I saw an autistic kid being beat up by three guys. I couldn't just stand there. There was no way he stood a chance against all four of us.
  • Why can't an autistic kid play billiards? He can't pick up cues.
  • I work with an autistic kid. The other day I drew something terribly on the computer screen and told him I'm artistic He said me too I'm on the spectrum.
  • What did the autistic kid do when he was accused of stealing? He retorted.
  • Yesterday I was bitten by an autistic kid and it gave me a vaccine.
  • Hmm. . . What should you do with the Jewish, autistic kid?
    Send him to a concentration camp. . .
  • I would never vaccinate my kids. It would be dangerous and make my child autistic, I would just let my doctor do it.

Autistic Not Understanding Jokes

Here is a list of funny autistic not understanding jokes and even better autistic not understanding puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I used have a friend who was on the spectrum I asked him, On what spectrum, the electromagnetic spectrum?
    He responded, No, I'm autistic.
    So I responded, So what, you don't understand jokes?
  • I asked my autistic buddy "what did one Q say to another Q?" He didn't understand.
Autistic joke, I asked my autistic buddy "what did one Q say to another Q?"

Autistic joke, I asked my autistic buddy "what did one Q say to another Q?"

Ridiculous Autistic Jokes to Spark Fun and Laughter

What funny jokes about autistic you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean mentally challenged jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make autistic pranks.

Worst pickup lines

I must be autistic, because you've been running through my mind all day.

I have an autistic nephew...

and I'm starting to think my dog is autistic as well because she also barks at the vacuum.

An autistic person with an e**... walks into a wall, what hits the wall first?

Why did the painter from Boston have trouble making friends?

He was way too autistic for his own good.

I'm probably the best artist in my class...

...yet my British art teacher keeps calling me autistic.

How much money does the Government pay people with autistic disorder?

Enough to buy a computer that can play League of Legends.

My teacher told me that I am unique

But when I told my mom what my teacher said she replied," Sweetie, just because you are autistic doesn't make you special".

What do you get when you mix a public speaker with someone who had tourettes?

A clock!
One provides the tic, the other provides the talk
Credit to my Autistic Big Bro

An autistic and a vegan walk into a bar

You only know because they mention it every other sentence

Why did people think was Harold Godwinson was autistic?

Because he wanted the Normies to get out

Being autistic is a bit like being a photon...

Getting from here to someplace else is instantaneous, but what happens in between is incomprehensible.
(source: am autistic)

They told me I was altruistic...

...I gave all my stuff away before I found out they misspelled Autistic :(

What does an autistic spy do?


I gave some autistic kids w**......

And now I have baked potatoes.

There is a sign in my town that reads "DRIVE slow AUTISTIC CHILD"

First of all, he has a name.
Secondly, if he has his license he should know good and well how to drive and there is no need to single him out like that.

What do you call a Minecraft server run for autistic children?

A regular Minecraft server.

What was the autistic boy doing on the ground?

His best.

What do you call an autistic metal band?


An autistic Mexican sees a box of spilled Cheerios...

After extensive research, I've concluded that unvaccinated children will have a higher chance of not being on the Autistic Spectrum

Instead, they have a considerable higher chance of being dead...

What did the autistic cat say when it got hurt

What company did the autistic man start?

Charter Spectrum

Results show that unvaccinated children are much less likely of turning out autistic.

Because they're dead.

I beat up a British man today for calling me autistic.

Turns out he just really likes my drawings.

What do you call a horrible painter?

An autist.

TIL that unvaccinated children are less likely to be autistic...

You know, all autistic people have had vaccines..

Because if they didn't they would be dead.

What did the Jewish Bostonian woman declare to her Sunday bridge group about her recent knitting project?

"I'm so AUtistic!"

A british man reviewed my art the other day

He said I was very autistic. How mean!

What's for dinner when a cannibal cooks up an autistic person?


I shouldn't make blanket statements about autistic people but…

a lot of them do enjoy being wrapped in blankets.

What did the white police officer say to the black t**... gay married bisexual autistic handicapped veteran?

We won't know until the internal investigation is completed.

What do you call an autistic Jew?


Why didn't the Autist buy a Commodore 64?

Because he was already on the spectrum

What's the favourite brand of shoes for all the discerning autists out there?


What do you call hypocrite , autistic , cringy , lying delusional human beings ?

Youtubers (90%)

Feeling strange, Mr. Bond?

That's because my assistant just injected you with the measles vaccine. You're autistic now.

What do you call it when an autistic child has a fever?

Mercury Rising.

You guys just buy into anything big pharma tells you don't you?

You guys just buy into anything big pharma tells you don't you? i'll have you know my son was diagnosed with the measles so I placed various crystals around his bed while he slept to promote the proper aura for healing.
He's dead now but at least he's not autistic

My friend told me that I must be autistic for not vaccinating my children.

It's such a shame that people still don't know how autism works.

What can get disease and will never live past 4?

A guinea pig you vaccine loving autist!
Btw I'm pro vax just thought this was funny.

What do you call an autistic soldier?

Special forces.

What do you call an autistic guy in the army?

Special Forces
(my friend said this, i dont know if this is a repost)

Apparently you're autistic if…

Apparently you're autistic if you take things literally
Well, I've never stolen anything in my life so definitely not me

Autistic joke, Apparently you're autistic if…

jokes about autistic