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Autist Jokes

32 autist jokes and hilarious autist puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about autist that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Autist Short Jokes

Short autist jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The autist humour may include short artistic jokes also.

  1. A new study shows that unvaccinated children are less likely to be autistic Because they are more likely to be dead.
  2. I told my son he couldn't get a fidget spinner because his dad and I have tried so hard to make sure he didn't become autistic... Unfortunately he died of measles a couple days ago
  3. A son says to his father... A son says to his father "Dad, I forget. Am I awesome or fantastic?"
    The father replies "No son, you're autistic."
  4. I used to think my drawings made me autistic... it turns out my Grandma was just from Boston.
  5. I let the autistic kid have my seat on the bus. And that, is how I lost my job _and_ my license.
  6. Worst pickup lines I must be autistic, because you've been running through my mind all day.
  7. I let my kids play only with the autistic children. That way I know for sure they've been vaccinated.
  8. I used have a friend who was on the spectrum I asked him, On what spectrum, the electromagnetic spectrum?
    He responded, No, I'm autistic.
    So I responded, So what, you don't understand jokes?
  9. What do you get when you mix a public speaker with someone who had tourettes? A clock!
    One provides the tic, the other provides the talk
  10. What do you call an autistic guy in the army? Special Forces
    (my friend said this, i dont know if this is a repost)

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Autist One Liners

Which autist one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with autist? I can suggest the ones about epilepsy and autism.

  1. What do you call a stick with autism? Autistic
  2. At what age does the average 4chan user find out they're autistic? thREEEEEEEEE
  3. Are you made of gold, titanium, sulfur, and carbon? Because you're AuTiSTiC.
  4. Did you hear about the autistic guitar pick? He's a plectrum on the spectrum.
  5. My autistic 7 year-old battling cancer told me this joke while adopting a shelter puppy
  6. Why do so many artists in Boston identify as autistic?
  7. My mom told me I was autistic But I'm not good at drawing.
  8. A grown man called me autistic today. Never talking to my psychiatrist again.
  9. What was the autistic kid on the floor doing? His best
  10. I told my friend in Boston that I was autistic. He said so can you drawr me a Pictsha?
  11. Roses are red Violets are violet
    This makes no sense
    Autistic pilot
  12. A british man reviewed my art the other day He said I was very autistic. How mean!
  13. What do you call it when an autistic child has a fever? Mercury Rising.
  14. Why can't an autistic kid play billiards? He can't pick up cues.
  15. An autistic Mexican sees a box of spilled Cheerios...
Autist joke, An autistic Mexican sees a box of spilled Cheerios...

Silly Autist Jokes for a Good Time with Friends

What funny jokes about autist you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean portrait jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make autist pranks.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

An autistic person with an e**... walks into a wall, what hits the wall first?

Being autistic is a bit like being a photon...

Getting from here to someplace else is instantaneous, but what happens in between is incomprehensible.
(source: am autistic)

I have an autistic nephew...

and I'm starting to think my dog is autistic as well because she also barks at the vacuum.

Why do autistic kids solve math problems for fun?

Because they enjoy being mentaly challenged.

I saw an autistic kid being beat up by three guys. I couldn't just stand there.

There was no way he stood a chance against all four of us.

An autistic and a vegan walk into a bar

You only know because they mention it every other sentence

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Why didn't the Autist buy a Commodore 64?

Because he was already on the spectrum

What did the autistic kid do when he was accused of stealing?

He retorted.

What did the autistic cat say when it got hurt

What does an autistic spy do?

Aspieonage

What does an autistic jawa say?

Routine-y!

What did the British painter ask his fidget spinner?

"Am I your favorite autist?"

Autist joke, What did the British painter ask his fidget spinner?