Hilarious Autism Jokes that Bring Laughter with Friends
It was reported that listening to the band Queen links to giving you autism...
It's because of the high Mercury content.
How do you find out if a dead man has autism?
You give them an autopsy
The vaccine conspiracy
Linda had a heart attack and was brought to the emergency room while in clinical death. The doctors managed to revive her, but during her coma she saw a bright light and God appeared to her. She asked him:
"Tell me, God, is it true that vaccines could cause autism?"
"No, autism is a condition that develops during pregnancy"
After getting well, she met her friends and told them about her experience:
"Girls, I have awful news: the conspiracy goes way higher than we've thought"
I'm an anti vaccine activist, and didn't vaccinate my children.
They're all dead, but at least they don't have autism!
There was this huge autism conference for physiologists.
Sadly it fell through due to communication problems.
Did you hear some people are saying listening to Queen causes autism?
Apparently it's because of the unusually high Mercury content.
I installed anti-virus on my PC
Now the d**... thing has autism.
April is autism awareness month
Anyone here aware they have autism
So an anti-vaxxer tells me that vaccines cause autism.
So I reply "Oh, so you've gotten vaccinated, then?"
~~Sorry if it's a terrible joke.~~
No regrets
There's a high proportion of people with ASD in scientific fields.
Autism causes vaccines.
You know, I heard listening to Queen has been scientifically proven to give people autism.
Apparently because of the unusually high Mercury content.
You can explore autism measles reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean autism vaccinate dad jokes. There are also autism puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
TIL that vaccines contain a small amount of mercury, a chemical component that leads to autism.
-Idiotic Soccer Mom, 2k16
What do you call a stick with autism?
Autistic
How many Anti-Vaxxers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
As a mother, I choose not to screw it in. Light bulbs are dangerous weapons created by the Soviet Union, and I will not screw it in; it could severely hurt my child. As everyone knows, light bulbs are the principle source of autism in this world, and I have to take a stand on it.
What do you call a puppy with autism?
aww-tistic
Everybody in my family has a disorder. My mom's depressed, my dad has ADHD, and my brother has autism.
There's nothing wrong with me though. I'm perfect.
Concerning Michael Flynn
The real question on republicans minds right now: what happens to the validity of Flynn's testimony when he gets autism after receiving immunity?
A new study came out today showing that kids who are NOT vaccinated are actually more likely to have autism.
Turns out autism is hereditary.
I didn't vaccinate any of my kids and none of them got autism.
None of them lived past the age of 2, but that's beside the point.
Did you know unvaccinated children are less likely to have autism?
Cause they are more likely to be dead.
"Mom, why didn't you vaccinate me?"
"I didn't want you to get autism, honey."
"Thanks mom. I could have not survived having autism and polio at the same time."
Vaccinated kids are more likely to develop autism
The unvaccinated die before they get the chance
My doctor just diagnosed me with autism
I don't know whether to laugh or cry
There might be something to this idea that vaccinations cause autism. I don't have kids...
But my dog is nearly five and she's still not talking.
Children who are unvaccinated are less likely to have autism. You know why?
You have to be alive to have autism.
Do you know why more vaccinated than unvaccinated children have autism?
Because you have to be alive to be autistic
If I had a vaccine for every b**... news article that's been spread about by stay at home moms on Facebook
I would have autism.
What do you call an albino hog with autism?
Pigmentally Challenged
Contridiction
Autism Speaks
Friend of mine is gay and also found out he has Autism
He can't even think straight
Unvaccinated children are less likely to have autism
Because they're more likely to be dead
Vaccinated children have a higher chance of getting autism.
After all, you have to be alive to get autism.
My parents refused to vaccinate beacause they thought it caused autism
Now I have autism and polio
I was just told I've been diagnosed with autism
I'm not sure how to react to that
How did the vaccine cause autism?
It didn't
FUN FACT: people who aren't vaccinated have a 0% chance of getting autism!
Because they're dead.
Unvaccinated kids are more likely to not have autism.
Because they'll be dead
I Told my friends vaccines cause autism before they were going to vaccinate, and they proved me right!!
They don't talk to me anymore.
Why were the anti-vaxxing parents crying?
They found out autism is genetic
Some people think vaccines cause autism
But from what I know vaccines don't have gold titanium or samarium.
What do kids with autism get when you vaccinate them?
To live
I found out how vaccines cause autism,
Vaccinated kids live long enough to be diagnosed with autism.
My friend told me that I must be autistic for not vaccinating my children.
It's such a shame that people still don't know how autism works.
I installed anti virus software on my computer
Now my computer has autism
Did you hear about the new anti-vaxxer relationship counseling book?
Men are from Mars, Autism is from Mercury.
Many top scientists are on the autism spectrum..
And that means that autism causes vaccines.
I vaccinated my brother a year ago, but it didn't work...
Still doesn't have autism.
How do you blow an anti vaxxers mind?
Invent the cure for autism
All of the parents who claim that vaccines cause autism have nothing to be afraid of.
You can't get autism twice.
For anybody who doesn't believe vaccines cause autism...
My Douglas was vaccinated and is now nearly five years old. He has still not learned to speak a single word, cannot dress himself and is not even able to use the toilet.
Don't let vaccines ruin your dog's life too.
People give anti-vaxxers a hard time, but they gave us one important thing...
A control group for our studies confirming that vaccines do not cause autism.
Anti vaccinated kids show no sign of autism
Because autism isn't detected until age 3
You know about that rumor, that vaccines cause autism?
Don't worry, it'll die down in around three years or so.
Growing up we used to vaccinate each other by going "Circle, Circle, Dot, Dot, now I got a cootie shot."
Which explains why so many of my classmates had autism.
Why is World Autism Day after April Fools' Day?
Because it takes longer for them to get the joke.
t**...L Children who are unvaccinated are less likely to have autism.
You have to be alive to have autism.
A New Scientific Study on Vaccines
A new scientific study came out recently proving a correlation between vaccines and adults with autism.
The reason given to this correlation was the children without vaccines died before becoming adults
did you know that more vaccinated people have autism then unvaccinated?
because the unvaccinated are dead.
It's been proven that vaccinated kids are more likely to have autism
because the ones that aren't vaccinated are dead
Feeling strange, Mr. Bond? That's because I've laced your martini with a measles vaccine. The autism should be setting in any second now.
Joke's on you, I already disassembled your doomsday device and rearranged all the parts in order of size.
After dying the anti-vaxxer meets God. "God, please tell me who is behind the conspiracy to give people autism with vaccines?"
"Nobody," says God. "There is no conspiracy, and vaccines do no cause autism."
"THEY GOT TO YOU TOO?! HOW FAR UP DOES THIS GO?!"
Feeling strange, Mr. Bond?
Feeling strange, Mr. Bond? That's because I've laced your martini with a measles vaccine. The autism should be setting in any second now.
Joke's on you, I already disassembled your doomsday device and rearranged all the parts in order of size.
Someone asked me, since you have autism does that mean you take everything literally?
I replied, no, that's a kleptomaniac.
