Autism Jokes
99 autism jokes and hilarious autism puns to laugh out loud. Read human body jokes about autism that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article investigates the controversial subject of autism-related jokes. Exploring how far is too far, how funny is too funny and how serious is too serious, the article looks at autism from a number of angles, from hereditary to the family guy and spongebob autism jokes and the vaxxers vs. measles debate. Read on to learn more and understand the delicate balance of humor and sensitivity when it comes to autism.
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Funniest Autism Short Jokes
Short autism jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The autism humour may include short autistic jokes also.
- Someone asked me, since you have autism does that mean you take everything literally? I replied, no, that's a kleptomaniac.
- I found out how vaccines cause autism, Vaccinated kids live long enough to be diagnosed with autism.
- "Mom, why didn't you vaccinate me?" "I didn't want you to get autism, honey."
"Thanks mom. I could have not survived having autism and polio at the same time." - People give anti-vaxxers a hard time, but they gave us one important thing... A control group for our studies confirming that vaccines do not cause autism.
- did you know that more vaccinated people have autism then unvaccinated? because the unvaccinated are dead.
- Did you hear some people are saying listening to Queen causes autism? Apparently it's because of the unusually high mercury content.
- Why is World Autism Day after April Fools' Day? Because it takes longer for them to get the joke.
- So an anti-vaxxer tells me that vaccines cause autism. So I reply "Oh, so you've gotten vaccinated, then?"
~~Sorry if it's a terrible joke.~~
No regrets - I'm an anti vaccine activist, and didn't vaccinate my children. They're all dead, but at least they don't have autism!
- You know about that rumor, that vaccines cause autism? Don't worry, it'll die down in around three years or so.
Share These Autism Jokes With Friends
Autism One Liners
Which autism one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with autism? I can suggest the ones about autistic kid and epilepsy.
- I installed anti virus software on my computer Now my computer has autism
- What do you call a stick with autism? Autistic
- Anti vaccinated kids show no sign of autism Because autism isn't detected until age 3
- What do kids with autism get when you vaccinate them? To live
- I was just told I've been diagnosed with autism I'm not sure how to react to that
- What do you call a puppy with autism? aww-tistic
- I vaccinated my brother a year ago, but it didn't work... Still doesn't have autism.
- My doctor just diagnosed me with autism I don't know whether to laugh or cry
- How do you blow an anti vaxxers mind? Invent the cure for autism
- Why were the anti-vaxxing parents crying? They found out autism is genetic
- How did the vaccine cause autism? It didn't
- April is autism awareness month Anyone here aware they have autism
- Contridiction Autism Speaks
- Vaccinations do not cause autism... You have to be alive to have autism.
- A new study shows anti vaxed kids never get autism. They die before signs could show.
Diagnosed Autism Jokes
Here is a list of funny diagnosed autism jokes and even better diagnosed autism puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Non-vaccinated children are less likely to have autism Because autism is rarely diagnosed before the age of 3
Autism Spectrum Jokes
Here is a list of funny autism spectrum jokes and even better autism spectrum puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My friends keep telling me I'm on the autism spectrum... ...I can never tell if they're joking or not.
- Unlike gender... ...autism is a spectrum.
- Autism is a spectrum We're all autistic to some degree
Hilarious Autism Jokes that Bring Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about autism you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean asthma jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make autism pranks.
A mathematic joke
One day, the square root of 16 came into a bar. He met the square root of 2 and they began a discussion. Later, the discussion fell on vaccines and the Square root of 2 told him that vaccines cause autism etc. Then, the square root of 4 told the square root of 16: "Don't listen to him. He's irrational".
The vaccine conspiracy
Linda had a heart attack and was brought to the emergency room while in clinical death. The doctors managed to revive her, but during her coma she saw a bright light and God appeared to her. She asked him:
"Tell me, God, is it true that vaccines could cause autism?"
"No, autism is a condition that develops during pregnancy"
After getting well, she met her friends and told them about her experience:
"Girls, I have awful news: the conspiracy goes way higher than we've thought"
There was this huge autism conference for physiologists.
Sadly it fell through due to communication problems.
A new study has shown that Autism is linked to vaccinations
It's Autism Awareness Day
Just letting you all know
I would talk about Keemstar
but I don't think autism jokes are politically correct anymore
I was born on 09.11.2001 and I suffer of autism
Cause: The stork crashed and I'v hit my head
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Autism speaks...
Barely.
Everybody in my family has a disorder. My mom's depressed, my dad has ADHD, and my brother has autism.
There's nothing wrong with me though. I'm perfect.
Concerning Michael Flynn
The real question on republicans minds right now: what happens to the validity of Flynn's testimony when he gets autism after receiving immunity?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A new study came out today showing that kids who are NOT vaccinated are actually more likely to have autism.
Turns out autism is hereditary.
I didn't vaccinate any of my kids and none of them got autism.
None of them lived past the age of 2, but that's beside the point.
I hear Fitz & the Tantrums are coming out with a new song to support Autism...
It's called "I Can Make Your Hands Flap"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Vaccines cause autism
Sorry, I mean awetism! Children who live are just so precious!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Vaccinated kids are more likely to develop autism
The unvaccinated die before they get the chance
There might be something to this idea that vaccinations cause autism. I don't have kids...
But my dog is nearly five and she's still not talking.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Children who are unvaccinated are less likely to have autism. You know why?
You have to be alive to have autism.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Do you know why more vaccinated than unvaccinated children have autism?
Because you have to be alive to be autistic
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If I had a vaccine for every b**... news article that's been spread about by stay at home moms on Facebook
I would have autism.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Friend of mine is gay and also found out he has Autism
He can't even think straight
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you can two blondes talking in code?
Weaponised autism.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Unvaccinated children are less likely to have autism
Because they're more likely to be dead
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Vaccinated children have a higher chance of getting autism.
After all, you have to be alive to get autism.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
They were right the whole time. It turns out that un-vaccinated children actually are less likely to develop autism
Because they're more likely to be dead.
My parents refused to vaccinate beacause they thought it caused autism
Now I have autism and polio
FUN FACT: people who aren't vaccinated have a 0% chance of getting autism!
Because they're dead.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Unvaccinated kids are more likely to not have autism.
Because they'll be dead
What's the most ironic organization name in the country?
Autism *Speaks*
I Told my friends vaccines cause autism before they were going to vaccinate, and they proved me right!!
They don't talk to me anymore.
Vaccinated kids *do* have a higher chance to have autism,
because they're more likely to be alive.
I tried to create an account on a website with my username being a boy that has autism from my favorite childhood TV show. It stopped me and said
"No special characters allowed in username."
I love a person with autism.
It's not you Allen.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Whats the best way to commit karma s**...?
Mention you have autism.
I don't know whether my parents supported our autism or not...
I certainly remember a sign they made - "FAST CHILDREN CROSSING".
TIL: Listening to Queen albums is one of the factors that might cause autism.
Possibly because of the high Mercury content.
Vaccines cause Autism, and I can prove it.
I was vaccinated as a child and now I believe vaccines cause Autism.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Yeah, Vaccines cause autism
Because vaccines cause adults and you have to be alive to have autism.
I was watching my dog act like a total goofball and thought...
Maybe vaccines do cause autism.
It's ironic...
Most anti-vax mothers are actually vaccinated.
Which, depending on what you believe, might explain their autism.
Some people think vaccines cause autism
But from what I know vaccines don't have gold titanium or samarium.
My friend told me that I must be autistic for not vaccinating my children.
It's such a shame that people still don't know how autism works.
All of the parents who claim that vaccines cause autism have nothing to be afraid of.
You can't get autism twice.
Vaccines are no joke
My uncle got the flu vaccine...
Two hours later he died of autism.
For anybody who doesn't believe vaccines cause autism...
My Douglas was vaccinated and is now nearly five years old. He has still not learned to speak a single word, cannot dress himself and is not even able to use the toilet.
Don't let vaccines ruin your dog's life too.
Growing up we used to vaccinate each other by going "Circle, Circle, Dot, Dot, now I got a cootie shot."
Which explains why so many of my classmates had autism.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
t**...L Children who are unvaccinated are less likely to have autism.
You have to be alive to have autism.
A New Scientific Study on Vaccines
A new scientific study came out recently proving a correlation between vaccines and adults with autism.
The reason given to this correlation was the children without vaccines died before becoming adults
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
It's been proven that vaccinated kids are more likely to have autism
because the ones that aren't vaccinated are dead
Feeling strange, Mr. Bond? That's because I've laced your martini with a measles vaccine. The autism should be setting in any second now.
Joke's on you, I already disassembled your doomsday device and rearranged all the parts in order of size.
After dying the anti-vaxxer meets God. "God, please tell me who is behind the conspiracy to give people autism with vaccines?"
"Nobody," says God. "There is no conspiracy, and vaccines do no cause autism."
"THEY GOT TO YOU TOO?! HOW FAR UP DOES THIS GO?!"
Feeling strange, Mr. Bond?
Feeling strange, Mr. Bond? That's because I've laced your martini with a measles vaccine. The autism should be setting in any second now.
Joke's on you, I already disassembled your doomsday device and rearranged all the parts in order of size.
