Autism Jokes

100 autism jokes and hilarious autism puns to laugh out loud. Read human body jokes about autism that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

This article investigates the controversial subject of autism-related jokes. Exploring how far is too far, how funny is too funny and how serious is too serious, the article looks at autism from a number of angles, from hereditary to the family guy and spongebob autism jokes and the vaxxers vs. measles debate. Read on to learn more and understand the delicate balance of humor and sensitivity when it comes to autism.

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Funniest Autism Short Jokes

Short autism jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The autism humour may include short autistic jokes also.

  1. Children who are unvaccinated are less likely to have autism. You know why? You have to be alive to have autism.
  2. Do you know why more vaccinated than unvaccinated children have autism? Because you have to be alive to be autistic
  3. Someone asked me, since you have autism does that mean you take everything literally? I replied, no, that's a kleptomaniac.
  4. Vaccinated kids are more likely to develop autism The unvaccinated die before they get the chance
  5. Vaccinated children have a higher chance of getting autism. After all, you have to be alive to get autism.
  6. I found out how vaccines cause autism, Vaccinated kids live long enough to be diagnosed with autism.
  7. "Mom, why didn't you vaccinate me?" "I didn't want you to get autism, honey."
    "Thanks mom. I could have not survived having autism and polio at the same time."
  8. People give anti-vaxxers a hard time, but they gave us one important thing... A control group for our studies confirming that vaccines do not cause autism.
  9. did you know that more vaccinated people have autism then unvaccinated? because the unvaccinated are dead.
  10. Did you hear some people are saying listening to Queen causes autism? Apparently it's because of the unusually high mercury content.

Share These Autism Jokes With Friends

Autism One Liners

Which autism one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with autism? I can suggest the ones about autistic kid and epilepsy.

  1. I installed anti virus software on my computer Now my computer has autism
  2. What do you call a stick with autism? Autistic
  3. Anti vaccinated kids show no sign of autism Because autism isn't detected until age 3
  4. What do kids with autism get when you vaccinate them? To live
  5. I was just told I've been diagnosed with autism I'm not sure how to react to that
  6. What do you call a puppy with autism? aww-tistic
  7. I vaccinated my brother a year ago, but it didn't work... Still doesn't have autism.
  8. My doctor just diagnosed me with autism I don't know whether to laugh or cry
  9. How do you blow an anti vaxxers mind? Invent the cure for autism
  10. Why were the anti-vaxxing parents crying? They found out autism is genetic
  11. How did the vaccine cause autism? It didn't
  12. What do you call an albino hog with autism? Pigmentally Challenged
  13. Friend of mine is gay and also found out he has Autism He can't even think straight
  14. Unvaccinated kids are more likely to not have autism. Because they'll be dead
  15. April is autism awareness month Anyone here aware they have autism

Diagnosed Autism Jokes

Here is a list of funny diagnosed autism jokes and even better diagnosed autism puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Non-vaccinated children are less likely to have autism Because autism is rarely diagnosed before the age of 3

Autism Spectrum Jokes

Here is a list of funny autism spectrum jokes and even better autism spectrum puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Many top scientists are on the autism spectrum.. And that means that autism causes vaccines.
  • My friends keep telling me I'm on the autism spectrum... ...I can never tell if they're joking or not.
  • Unlike gender... ...autism is a spectrum.
  • Autism is a spectrum We're all autistic to some degree
Autism joke, Autism is a spectrum

Autism joke, Autism is a spectrum

Hilarious Autism Jokes that Bring Laughter with Friends

What funny jokes about autism you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean asthma jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make autism pranks.

It was reported that listening to the band Queen links to giving you autism...

It's because of the high Mercury content.

How do you find out if a dead man has autism?

You give them an autopsy

The vaccine conspiracy

Linda had a heart attack and was brought to the emergency room while in clinical death. The doctors managed to revive her, but during her coma she saw a bright light and God appeared to her. She asked him:
"Tell me, God, is it true that vaccines could cause autism?"
"No, autism is a condition that develops during pregnancy"
After getting well, she met her friends and told them about her experience:
"Girls, I have awful news: the conspiracy goes way higher than we've thought"

I'm an anti vaccine activist, and didn't vaccinate my children.

They're all dead, but at least they don't have autism!

There was this huge autism conference for physiologists.

Sadly it fell through due to communication problems.

I installed anti-virus on my PC

Now the d**... thing has autism.

So an anti-vaxxer tells me that vaccines cause autism.

So I reply "Oh, so you've gotten vaccinated, then?"
~~Sorry if it's a terrible joke.~~
No regrets

There's a high proportion of people with ASD in scientific fields.

Autism causes vaccines.

You know, I heard listening to Queen has been scientifically proven to give people autism.

Apparently because of the unusually high Mercury content.

TIL that vaccines contain a small amount of mercury, a chemical component that leads to autism.

-Idiotic Soccer Mom, 2k16

How many Anti-Vaxxers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

As a mother, I choose not to screw it in. Light bulbs are dangerous weapons created by the Soviet Union, and I will not screw it in; it could severely hurt my child. As everyone knows, light bulbs are the principle source of autism in this world, and I have to take a stand on it.

Everybody in my family has a disorder. My mom's depressed, my dad has ADHD, and my brother has autism.

There's nothing wrong with me though. I'm perfect.

Concerning Michael Flynn

The real question on republicans minds right now: what happens to the validity of Flynn's testimony when he gets autism after receiving immunity?

A new study came out today showing that kids who are NOT vaccinated are actually more likely to have autism.

Turns out autism is hereditary.

I didn't vaccinate any of my kids and none of them got autism.

None of them lived past the age of 2, but that's beside the point.

Did you know unvaccinated children are less likely to have autism?

Cause they are more likely to be dead.

Vaccines cause autism

Sorry, I mean awetism! Children who live are just so precious!

There might be something to this idea that vaccinations cause autism. I don't have kids...

But my dog is nearly five and she's still not talking.

If I had a vaccine for every b**... news article that's been spread about by stay at home moms on Facebook

I would have autism.


Autism Speaks

Unvaccinated children are less likely to have autism

Because they're more likely to be dead

They were right the whole time. It turns out that un-vaccinated children actually are less likely to develop autism

Because they're more likely to be dead.

My parents refused to vaccinate beacause they thought it caused autism

Now I have autism and polio

FUN FACT: people who aren't vaccinated have a 0% chance of getting autism!

Because they're dead.

What's the most ironic organization name in the country?

Autism *Speaks*

I Told my friends vaccines cause autism before they were going to vaccinate, and they proved me right!!

They don't talk to me anymore.

Vaccinated kids *do* have a higher chance to have autism,

because they're more likely to be alive.

I tried to create an account on a website with my username being a boy that has autism from my favorite childhood TV show. It stopped me and said

"No special characters allowed in username."

Children who don't get vaccinated will get less autism

they will be dead instead

I'm glad I didn't get my kids vaccinated

Sure they died, but at least they don't have autism!

A new study shows anti vaxed kids never get autism.

They die before signs could show.

Vaccines cause Autism, and I can prove it.

I was vaccinated as a child and now I believe vaccines cause Autism.

Yeah, Vaccines cause autism

Because vaccines cause adults and you have to be alive to have autism.

I was watching my dog act like a total goofball and thought...

Maybe vaccines do cause autism.

It's ironic...

Most anti-vax mothers are actually vaccinated.
Which, depending on what you believe, might explain their autism.

Some people think vaccines cause autism

But from what I know vaccines don't have gold titanium or samarium.

Vaccinations do not cause autism...

You have to be alive to have autism.

My friend told me that I must be autistic for not vaccinating my children.

It's such a shame that people still don't know how autism works.

Did you hear about the new anti-vaxxer relationship counseling book?

Men are from Mars, Autism is from Mercury.

I really hate anti-vaxxers

They must all have autism after being vaccinated

All of the parents who claim that vaccines cause autism have nothing to be afraid of.

You can't get autism twice.

Vaccines are no joke

My uncle got the flu vaccine...
Two hours later he died of autism.

For anybody who doesn't believe vaccines cause autism...

My Douglas was vaccinated and is now nearly five years old. He has still not learned to speak a single word, cannot dress himself and is not even able to use the toilet.
Don't let vaccines ruin your dog's life too.

You know about that rumor, that vaccines cause autism?

Don't worry, it'll die down in around three years or so.

Growing up we used to vaccinate each other by going "Circle, Circle, Dot, Dot, now I got a cootie shot."

Which explains why so many of my classmates had autism.

Why is World Autism Day after April Fools' Day?

Because it takes longer for them to get the joke.

t**...‌‌L Childre‌‌n wh‌‌o ar‌‌e unvaccinate‌‌d ar‌‌e les‌‌s likel‌‌y t‌‌o hav‌‌e autism.

Yo‌‌u hav‌‌e t‌‌o b‌‌e aliv‌‌e t‌‌o hav‌‌e autism.‌‌

A New Scientific Study on Vaccines

A new scientific study came out recently proving a correlation between vaccines and adults with autism.
The reason given to this correlation was the children without vaccines died before becoming adults

It's been proven that vaccinated kids are more likely to have autism

because the ones that aren't vaccinated are dead

Feeling strange, Mr. Bond? That's because I've laced your martini with a measles vaccine. The autism should be setting in any second now.

Joke's on you, I already disassembled your doomsday device and rearranged all the parts in order of size.

After dying the anti-vaxxer meets God. "God, please tell me who is behind the conspiracy to give people autism with vaccines?"

"Nobody," says God. "There is no conspiracy, and vaccines do no cause autism."

Feeling strange, Mr. Bond?

Feeling strange, Mr. Bond? That's because I've laced your martini with a measles vaccine. The autism should be setting in any second now.
Joke's on you, I already disassembled your doomsday device and rearranged all the parts in order of size.

Autism joke, Someone asked me,  since you have autism does that mean you take everything literally?

jokes about autism