The Best 26 Authority Jokes

Following is our collection of Authority jokes which are very funny. There are some authority transparency jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these authority committee puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Authority Jokes and Puns

A DEA agent and a rancher

A DEA officer stopped at a ranch in Texas and talked with an old rancher. He told the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs."

The rancher said, "Okay , but don't go in that field over there.....", as he pointed out the location.

The DEA officer verbally exploded saying, "Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me!"

Reaching into his rear pants pocket, he removed his badge and proudly displayed it to the rancher.

"See this badge?! This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish.... On any land!! No questions asked or answers given!! Have I made myself clear? Do you understand?!!"

The rancher nodded politely, apologized, and went about his chores.

A short time later, the old rancher heard loud screams, looked up, and saw the DEA officer running for his life, being chased by the rancher's big Santa Gertrudis bull.

With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer, and it seemed likely that he'd sure enough get gored before he reached safety. The officer was clearly terrified.

The rancher threw down his tools, ran to the fence and yelled at the top of his lungs.....

"Your badge, show him your BADGE.........!!"

Why doesnt justin bieber shop at Sports Authority?

Cause he prefers Dicks.

Why did the lesbian go to Sports Authority?

because she didn't like dicks.

Why do lesbians go to Sports Authority?

Because they're afraid of Dicks!

Why do lesbians prefer going to Sports Authority?

They don't like Dicks...

Difference between Port Authority and a lobster with breast implants?

One's a crusty bus station...

The other's a busty crustacean!

Why did Michael Sam, the first openly gay NFL player, say he doesn't shop at Sports Authority?

Because he prefers Dick's.

Why doesn't Justin Bieber like Sports Authority?

Because he likes Dicks.

What do you call a man of high authority, stoned out of his mind strolling along in the forest?


Sports Authority must be a publisher now...

..All I hear now are discussions about Chapter 7 and Chapter 11!

Why do lesbians shop at Sports Authority..

Because they hate Dick's

You can explore authority personnel reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean authority permission dad jokes. There are also authority puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

A man with authority walks into a bar...

Orders everyone a round

So Sports Authority is going out of business.

I hear their competitors are real Dicks.

Does Obama have the authority to give away the Internet?

When asked to comment, President Obama responded "Yes, ICANN"

A group of illegal immigrants was caught at the Southern border...

...when questioned by the authority, the group replied:

"We're actually trying to get to Canada now, but US is in the way."

I have issues with authority. I also have issues with electric potential.

Every time I see lightning I wanna know who put the clouds in charge.

What is the highest religious authority among oranges called?

The Pulp.

Why didn't Dave shop at Sports Authority?

Because he likes Dick's

Why doesn't Aaron Rodgers shop at Sports Authority?

Because he likes Dicks.

What do communist dictators and mods have in common?

One blatantly pushes around their authority and silences all who ask questions, the other tries to run a Marxist country.

did i ever tell you about the time that i was contacted by a former partner who was working in italy via the money transfer service i was using?

I was not ready when my ex communicated by the paypal authority

Why do lesbians shop at Sports Authority?

Because they don't like dicks.

Why do lesbians shop at sports authority?

They don't like dicks

You know there's a kinda of religious authority that's made up of simians who open doors?

Yeah, the monk-keys

My boss fired me.

"Why?" I asked.

He said, "You always question authority."

I said, "How?"

My grandad predicted that the Titanic would sink

He went to great pains to try and alert everyone. Sadly no one would listen. He told people in authority, middle-management and even the every-day punters who bought tickets. He was silenced from every corner in spite of all the evidence he put forward. Eventually he was forcibly removed from the cinema.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the authority breakdown jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working authority supremacy piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes