The Best 58 Author Jokes

Following is our collection of Author jokes which are very funny. There are some author literature jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these author fiction puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Bit of a different post here - an author introduces a joke but never reveals the punchline...anyone heard this joke? Or make up your own punchline?

In *Infinite Jest* by David Foster Wallace, at one point there's a line -

"...asking Mario if he knows what you call three Canadians copulating on a snowmobile."

But he doesn't say the punchline. I'm assuming maybe this is a commonish kinda joke? I've tried to think of what the punchline is but can't.

What did the author say when he added a chapter about flour to a story about soup?

The plot thickens!

Did John Knott mind being the only cited author on his group's research paper?

Knott, et al.

What do authors do when they are being chased?

They make like Dr. Jekyll and Hyde!

I just finished reading a book about preventing skin injuries and burns...

The author classified the book as "non-friction"


Breaking News: Criminal author gets 5 years in book case

Check out his story!

Why didn't George RR Martin (GOT author) use Twitter?

Because he killed all the 140 characters.

What does an author have after they get abdominal surgery?

A semi-colon

Authorities in Beijing have advised that the Earthquake felt by millions last night was nothing to worry about.

It was just the start of China's two-child policy.

Author Unknown

"A tree never hits an automobile except in self-defense."

The authorities just apprehended a notorious cereal killer. When they asked him why he did it, he said...

... he did it for the Kix.

Top Author Puns and Funny Jokes

You can explore author mockingbird reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean author journal dad jokes. There are also author puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Authorized, Bona Fide, Established...

those are some Legit synonyms.

Breaking Celebrity News! Academy Award winning Actor, Simmons, and children's book Author, Rowling, eloped earlier today.

JK

The British are making a monument out of rocks to Harry Potter's author

When finished, it'll be called the Rowling Stones.

Did you hear about the author who wrote a book during her time of the month?

It was a period piece.

A mathematician, a college professor, and a textbook author walk into a bar.

*[The punchline is left as an exercise for the reader.]*

Do you know about the Chinese author who wrote a million page book?

It was Wei Tu Long.

What did the erotic novel author get from his editor?

Sticky notes.

What did he get from his publisher?

A hard copy.

Who's the top selling author in Russia?

Salman Rush B


how do authors cross an ocean?

in a penmanship!!!

The author of the book "Childish Retorts" died today.

RIP Ewan Whosarmy

Authorities have released the name of the United passenger from yesterday's incident

Soo Yoo

An author signs up to do a lot of lectures around the world...

...but gets electrocuted after only three.

It was a short circuit.

Why did 'Civil Disobedience' take so long to write?

The author was being Thoreau

Here in about 50 years, when Harry Potter is on its 5th reboot, this time with an all house elf cast, the author will be

J. K. Rowling over in her grave.

Everyone knows Charles Dickens as a famous author of great classics. Lesser known is his short-lived Apple Cider business. He had to close it after complaints of unexpected pregnancies.

It may seem strange, but what do you expect when you have Dickens Cider?

A boy brought his new book to show his friend....

He boasts to his friend: "The author must have been very thorough when he wrote this book, he took 10 years to write it!"

"That's nothing", the friend replies, "have you heard of the man who was sent to prison and took 20 years to finish a sentence?"

Who is the conjoined twin pirates' favorite author?

George Arrgh Arrgh Martin

Authorities discover that Tom Hanks has killed thousands of people

with kindness

I'm actually a very close personal friend of the author of Harry Potter.

jk

Who authorizes all U.S. naval special operations?

The SEAL of approval.

The author of what's been described as the world's worst thesaurus has dismissed the comments.

He's described the comments as unfair, unfair and unfair.

What if Thor become Gold Thor?

He will become an Author.

Who's your favourite fantasy author?

Mine is Karl Marx

This book of incantations is useless.

The author failed to run a spell check.

Did you guys hear about the frog that became a best-selling author?

His work was absolutely ribbiting.

The authorities caught the dying battery

He was not charged

A man recently took an author to court after he was sold a book that only contained five words.

He received a short sentence.

What do a bad author and a grave robber have in common?

They both create a lot of plotholes.

Authorities fear that the collapsed bridge in Genoa was made with 'Mafia' concrete.....

....they've found 6 more bodies than there were people missing.

Turkish gallows humor

A prisoner goes to the prison library, and asks for a specific book. The guard tells him, "we don't have that book... but we do have the author."

Turkish Political Humor

Current Turkish gallows humour: A prisoner goes to the prison library, asks for a specific book. The guard tells him, "we don't have that book... but we do have the author." From Moshik_Temkin on Twitter

In Turkey, a prisoner goes to the prison library and asks for a book.

The librarian answers Unfortunately, we do not have the book here. But the author.

Have a turkish joke

A prisoner goes to the jail's library to borrow a book. The librarian says: "We don't have this book, but we have its author"

My author friend claims that he 'accidentally' glued himself to his autobiography, but I don't believe him.

But that's his story, and he's sticking to it.

Why did the Lord of the Rings author get kicked out of the movie theatre.

He was Tolkien all the way through.

Did you hear about the author who got half the length of all of his fingers chopped off?

He writes everything in shorthand now

What did the neckbeard call the children's author who was rubbing his back?

*M'Seuss*

Too many authors to cite?

No problem et al.

A 300 page novel with a 50 page introductory essay written by the author walks into a bar.

The bartender asks, "Why the long preface?"

Where do authors buy their Deus Ex Machinas?

At the convenience store!

What did they rename the Norse god of lightning after he turned into gold and began writing books?

Author

How does the author of Harry Potter get down a hill? By walking.

JK. Rolling

Understanding Women

A FATHER SAYS TO HIS SON :
"MY BOY, WHEN YOU ACCUMULATE THE UNDERSTANDING OF WHY A PIZZA IS BAKED ROUND,
PUT IN A SQUARE BOX , EATEN IN TRIANGLES, YOU'LL BE ABLE TO UNDERSTAND WOMEN. "
Author Unknown

Which Russian author never paid his respects?

Dusty F Key

Which Science-Fiction author is the best source of liquid mercury?

HG Wells.

What author could write the best book on extracting mercury from the earth?

Hg Wells

Authorities unveil the the rioter who tazed himself to death in the balls has been charged.

Charged in the nards

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the author tolkein jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working author series piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes