Following is our collection of mockingbird humor and literature one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Author puns for adults, dirty journal jokes or clean fiction gags for kids.
There is an abundance of tolkein jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 58 funniest jokes on author. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any series witze you can hear about author.
But that's his story, and he's sticking to it.
A prisoner goes to the jail's library to borrow a book. The librarian says: "We don't have this book, but we have its author"
JK. Rolling
*[The punchline is left as an exercise for the reader.]*
He will become an Author.
....they've found 6 more bodies than there were people missing.
It was Wei Tu Long.
Sticky notes.
What did he get from his publisher?
A hard copy.
A Pole, a German and a Russian are sent to prison. They each receive a 50-year sentence with no parole. The guard, when putting them in their cells, shows mercy on them and offers to give each of them a small supply of their favourite things to occupy their times. The Pole picks a collection of books by his favourite author, the German picks a case of strong beer, and the Russian picks a huge pack of cigarettes. After the 50 years pass, the guard checks on his prisoners. The Pole thanks the guard for allowing him to gain knowledge in his time, the German complains that he ran out of alcohol a week into his sentence, and the Russian asks the guard for a lighter.
He received a short sentence.
Current Turkish gallows humour: A prisoner goes to the prison library, asks for a specific book. The guard tells him, "we don't have that book... but we do have the author." From Moshik_Temkin on Twitter
He writes everything in shorthand now
He's described the comments as unfair, unfair and unfair.
No problem et al.
Soo Yoo
A prisoner goes to the prison library, and asks for a specific book. The guard tells him, "we don't have that book... but we do have the author."
JK
Knott, et al.
A semi-colon
The librarian answers Unfortunately, we do not have the book here. But the author.
A FATHER SAYS TO HIS SON :
"MY BOY, WHEN YOU ACCUMULATE THE UNDERSTANDING OF WHY A PIZZA IS BAKED ROUND,
PUT IN A SQUARE BOX , EATEN IN TRIANGLES, YOU'LL BE ABLE TO UNDERSTAND WOMEN. "
Author Unknown
He was Tolkien all the way through.
Salman Rush B
He boasts to his friend: "The author must have been very thorough when he wrote this book, he took 10 years to write it!"
"That's nothing", the friend replies, "have you heard of the man who was sent to prison and took 20 years to finish a sentence?"
It may seem strange, but what do you expect when you have Dickens Cider?
It was a period piece.
Author
His work was absolutely ribbiting.
*M'Seuss*
Anyway I was out for the day and it started to rain. So I wandered into a junk shop, I was looking through the records, the LPs were of no interest so I looked in the singles. Johnny Mathis, Val Doonican, Wasp sounds fro...wait! What's this? "Wasp Sounds From Around The World!" I want this! It's only 50cents! So asked the guy in the shop to play it, just so I know it's OK. "Yes, of course!". Then it started to play...Bzzzz...Bzzwzzz...Wzzzzz..." etc. Anyway it finished. I said to the guy "I'm a world authority on wasp sounds but there's not a single wasp on there. "Oh! That's odd!" he said. Then "Aha! I know why! I played the bee side!"
"A tree never hits an automobile except in self-defense."
In *Infinite Jest* by David Foster Wallace, at one point there's a line -
"...asking Mario if he knows what you call three Canadians copulating on a snowmobile."
But he doesn't say the punchline. I'm assuming maybe this is a commonish kinda joke? I've tried to think of what the punchline is but can't.
When finished, it'll be called the Rowling Stones.
Mine is Karl Marx
with kindness
They both create a lot of plotholes.
The author failed to run a spell check.
J. K. Rowling over in her grave.
The bartender asks, "Why the long preface?"
Check out his story!
jk
The SEAL of approval.
The author was being Thoreau
At the convenience store!
RIP Ewan Whosarmy
The author classified the book as "non-friction"
Because he killed all the 140 characters.
It's raining Datsun cogs
in a penmanship!!!
He was not charged
The plot thickens!
It was just the start of China's two-child policy.
George Arrgh Arrgh Martin
... he did it for the Kix.
those are some Legit synonyms.
They make like Dr. Jekyll and Hyde!
...but gets electrocuted after only three.
It was a short circuit.
*Page Turner.*
Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.