The Best 58 Author Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Author jokes. There are some author literature jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these author book title and author puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 Funniest Author Jokes and Puns
Bit of a different post here - an author introduces a joke but never reveals the punchline...anyone heard this joke? Or make up your own punchline?
In *Infinite Jest* by David Foster Wallace, at one point there's a line -
"...asking Mario if he knows what you call three Canadians copulating on a snowmobile."
But he doesn't say the punchline. I'm assuming maybe this is a commonish kinda joke? I've tried to think of what the punchline is but can't.
What book are you reading?
Some new Danish author.
Did John Knott mind being the only cited author on his group's research paper?
Knott, et al.
Breaking News: Criminal author gets 5 years in book case
Check out his story!
What does an author have after they get abdominal surgery?
A semi-colon
Author Unknown
"A tree never hits an automobile except in self-defense."
Breaking Celebrity News! Academy Award winning Actor, Simmons, and children's book Author, Rowling, eloped earlier today.
JK
The British are making a monument out of rocks to Harry Potter's author
When finished, it'll be called the Rowling Stones.
Did you hear about the author who wrote a book during her time of the month?
It was a period piece.
A mathematician, a college professor, and a textbook author walk into a bar.
*[The punchline is left as an exercise for the reader.]*
Do you know about the Chinese author who wrote a million page book?
It was Wei Tu Long.
You can explore author mockingbird reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean author journal dad jokes. There are also author puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
What did the erotic novel author get from his editor?
Sticky notes.
What did he get from his publisher?
A hard copy.
Who's the top selling author in Russia?
Salman Rush B
Authorities have released the name of the United passenger from yesterday's incident
Soo Yoo
Why did 'Civil Disobedience' take so long to write?
The author was being Thoreau
Here in about 50 years, when Harry Potter is on its 5th reboot, this time with an all house elf cast, the author will be
J. K. Rowling over in her grave.
Everyone knows Charles Dickens as a famous author of great classics. Lesser known is his short-lived Apple Cider business. He had to close it after complaints of unexpected pregnancies.
It may seem strange, but what do you expect when you have Dickens Cider?
A boy brought his new book to show his friend....
He boasts to his friend: "The author must have been very thorough when he wrote this book, he took 10 years to write it!"
"That's nothing", the friend replies, "have you heard of the man who was sent to prison and took 20 years to finish a sentence?"
Authorities discover that Tom Hanks has killed thousands of people
with kindness
I'm actually a very close personal friend of the author of Harry Potter.
jk
The author of what's been described as the world's worst thesaurus has dismissed the comments.
He's described the comments as unfair, unfair and unfair.
What if Thor become Gold Thor?
He will become an Author.
Who's your favourite fantasy author?
Mine is Karl Marx
This book of incantations is useless.
The author failed to run a spell check.
Did you guys hear about the frog that became a best-selling author?
His work was absolutely ribbiting.
A man recently took an author to court after he was sold a book that only contained five words.
He received a short sentence.
What do a bad author and a grave robber have in common?
They both create a lot of plotholes.
Authorities fear that the collapsed bridge in Genoa was made with 'Mafia' concrete.....
....they've found 6 more bodies than there were people missing.
Turkish gallows humor
A prisoner goes to the prison library, and asks for a specific book. The guard tells him, "we don't have that book... but we do have the author."
Turkish Political Humor
Current Turkish gallows humour: A prisoner goes to the prison library, asks for a specific book. The guard tells him, "we don't have that book... but we do have the author." From Moshik_Temkin on Twitter
In Turkey, a prisoner goes to the prison library and asks for a book.
The librarian answers Unfortunately, we do not have the book here. But the author.
Have a turkish joke
A prisoner goes to the jail's library to borrow a book. The librarian says: "We don't have this book, but we have its author"
My author friend claims that he 'accidentally' glued himself to his autobiography, but I don't believe him.
But that's his story, and he's sticking to it.
Why did the Lord of the Rings author get kicked out of the movie theatre.
He was Tolkien all the way through.
Did you hear about the author who got half the length of all of his fingers chopped off?
He writes everything in shorthand now
What did the neckbeard call the children's author who was rubbing his back?
*M'Seuss*
Too many authors to cite?
No problem et al.
A 300 page novel with a 50 page introductory essay written by the author walks into a bar.
The bartender asks, "Why the long preface?"
What did they rename the Norse god of lightning after he turned into gold and began writing books?
Author
How does the author of Harry Potter get down a hill? By walking.
JK. Rolling
Understanding Women
A FATHER SAYS TO HIS SON :
"MY BOY, WHEN YOU ACCUMULATE THE UNDERSTANDING OF WHY A PIZZA IS BAKED ROUND,
PUT IN A SQUARE BOX , EATEN IN TRIANGLES, YOU'LL BE ABLE TO UNDERSTAND WOMEN. "
Author Unknown
Which Russian author never paid his respects?
Dusty F Key
Which Science-Fiction author is the best source of liquid mercury?
HG Wells.
What author could write the best book on extracting mercury from the earth?
Hg Wells
Authorities unveil the the rioter who tazed himself to death in the balls has been charged.
Charged in the nards
Turkish Joke
A prisoner goes to the warden and asks for a book. The guard makes a phone call then says:
We don't have the book but we have the author across the hall.
Did you hear about the author who writes using invisible ink?
Here's a list of his books:
Russian literature is built on suffering.
Either the character suffers, the author suffers, or the reader suffers. If all three are suffering, then it's considered a Russian masterpiece.
What happens when the God Of Thunder starts writing books?
He becomes an author.
What do you call a female author?
Paige Turner
Authorities close investigation on the group of hipsters found dead in a pond last week.
Turns out they were ice skating before it was cool.
I heard your son in the university is quite an author. Does he write for money?
"Yes, in every letter."
What's the difference between L. Ron Hubbard and Ayn Rand?
One author is delusional and whose fans follow blindly like a religion...and the other is L. Ron Hubbard.
An authoritarian walks into a bar
An authoritarian walks into a bar and orders everyone around
Authorities in Lake Tahoe are on the lookout for three bears that have collectively broken into more than 30 homes
Current leads suggest that the bears' location to be somewhere in the goldilock zone
Last night I dreamed I was the author of a successful fantasy series…
Wife said I've been Tolkien in my sleep
Last night I dreamed I was the author of The Lord of the Rings.
I've been Tolkien in my sleep.
Why doesn't the bible have an "about the author"?
It was written by a holy-ghostwriter
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the author fiction puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working author book and author piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.
