Authentic Jokes

Following is our collection of phony humor and true one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Authentic puns for adults, dirty madrid jokes or clean cuisine gags for kids.

There is an abundance of cheap jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 25 funniest jokes on authentic. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any trustworthy witze you can hear about authentic.

The Best jokes about Authentic

The Greek restaurant in my town is so authentic that it went bankrupt

I wish Johnny Rockets would stop claiming to be an authentic 40s diner...

... I see black people eating there All the time.

I wonder if mormons support the transgendered?

If they did, they could go on a transmission!

-- authentic dadjoke overheard at breakfast

Apparently my attempt at recreating authentic Middle Eastern recipes gave everyone food poisoning...

I falafel.

Kudos to Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie!

They really went out of their way to make their adoptive African children feel like a part of an authentic American family by getting a divorce.


An elderly couple, Margaret and Bert, live in Arkansas.

An elderly couple, Margaret and Bert, live in Arkansas.

Bert always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots. So seeing some on sale one day, he buys them, wears them home, walking proudly.

He walks into the house and says to his wife 'Notice anything different about me?'

Margaret looks him over, 'Nope.'

Frustrated, Bert storms off into the bathroom, undresses, and walks back into the room completely naked except for the boots.

Again, he asks, a little louder this time 'Notice anything different NOW?'

Margaret looks up and says, 'Bert, what's different? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, and it'll be hanging down again tomorrow.'

Furious, Bert yells, AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT'S HANGING DOWN, MARGARET?

'Nope' she replies.

'IT'S HANGING DOWN BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!!!!!' Bert yells.

To which Margaret replies… Shoulda bought a hat, Bert. Shoulda bought a hat.

An elderly couple, Ray and Bessie, recently moved to Texas...

Ray has always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots. Seeing some on sale one day, he buys them, wears them home, walking proudly. He walks into the house and says to his wife, "Notice
anything different about me?"

Bessie looks him over, "Nope."

Frustrated, Ray storms off into the bathroom, undresses, and walks back into the room completely naked except for the boots. Again, he asks, a little louder this time, "Notice anything different now??"

Bessie looks up and says, "Ray, what's different? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, it'll be hanging down again tomorrow."

Furious, Ray yells, "AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT IS HANGING DOWN, BESSIE? ... IT'S HANGING DOWN BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!!!!!!"

To which Bessie replies, "Shoulda bought a hat, Ray. Shoulda bought a hat."

Hanging down

Bert always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots, so, seeing some on sale, he bought them and wore them home.
Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, "Notice anything different about me?"
Margaret looked him over. "Nope."
Frustrated, Bert stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and walked back into the kitchen completely naked except for the boots.
Again he asked Margaret, a little louder this time, "Notice anything different NOW?"
Margaret looked up and said in her best deadpan, "Bert, what's different? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, it'll be hanging down again tomorrow."
Furious, Bert yelled, "AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT'S HANGING DOWN, MARGARET?"
"Nope. Not a clue", she replied.
"IT'S HANGING DOWN, BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!!!!"
Without missing a beat Margaret replied, "Shoulda bought a hat, Bert. Shoulda bought a hat."

I heard on the radio that protestors in Beijing are demanding authentic democratic reforms.

Unfortunately, all they can get is cheap Chinese knockoffs.

My Indian friend taught me an authentic Punjabi dance. I've got some real Sikh moves.

I went on an "Authentic World War One Tour" the other day

Three quarters of our party died, we didn't go anywhere and it rained the whole time.

10/10


An Irish woman insisted I have an authentic 7 course Irish meal...

She gave me a 6 pack and a piece of Sheppard's pie.

I saw a video of a man burning a Washington Redskins Jersey.

You can tell it was authentic because of the smoke signals.

I'm selling an authentic French rifle..

It was never fired and only dropped once.

My friend took me to an authentic Chinese restaurant and when we arrived there was a pen of dogs to choose from in the entry.

That's not what I meant when I said you can pick the Spot.

I went to an Italian restaurant that claimed to be super authentic. But they weren't.

It was just a bunch of Impastas

What did the customer say about Panda Express's Internet Security?

It had nice Authentic Asian.

The Art of the Deal

A poor city man is out in the streets attempting to sell something on President's Day. He goes up to a foreigner and says:

"Hey there! Are you looking for a rare portrait of Washington on his birthday? I can hook you up. It's even got the signature of the Secretary of the Treasury on it, so you know it's authentic!"

"Wow, really? How much?"

"$5 a piece."

"I'll take 20!"

Needless to say, he came in with a Washington, and left with a Franklin.

People complain that Taco Bell isn't authentic.

But it gets the job done for half the price of other restaurants and nothing is more Mexican than that.


So my mom won't stop asking me about trying to find an authentic African restaurant somewhere in the city...

I keep having to tell her that I know absolutely nothing about dieting.

Where is the best place to buy authentic shrunken heads?

Brazil

Have you ever had authentic Zimbabwean food?

The people of Zimbabwe haven't

went to mexican restaurant

it was so authentic the waiter said dont drink the water

I heard about a brand new Indian restaurant

They serve fresh, authentic bread, but they always run out. I stopped by after work. Turns out they had Na'an.

Two hunters with a cunning plan

These two hunters went moose hunting every year without success.

Finally they came up with a cunning plan.

They got themselves a very authentic cow moose costume and learned the mating call of a cow moose.

The plan was to hide in the costume, lure in the bull, then come out of the costume and shoot the bull.

So, they set themselves up on the edge of a clearing, in their costume, and began to give the moose love call.

Before too long their call was answered by bull in the forest.

They called again, the bull answered closer to them.

They called again, the bull answered, and came crashing out of the forest and into the clearing.

As the bulls' pounding hoof beats got closer the guy in front said, "OK, let's get out and get him!"

After a moment, that seemed like an eternity, the guy in the back shouts - "THE ZIPPER IS STUCK, WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO!?!"

The front guy says, "Well, I'm gonna start nibbling grass, but you better start to brace yourself!"

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes