The Best 28 Austrian Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Austrian jokes. There are some austrian aryan jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these austrian advisers puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Austrian Jokes and Puns

Did you hear that they're producing an action movie about a team of crime-fighting composers?

They already approached Arnold Schwarzenegger about playing fellow Austrian Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, but he said "no, I'll be Bach!"

What Austrian girls and wine have in common?

Both mature in a cellar.

What's the greatest trick the Austrians ever pulled off?

It was to convince the world that Mozart was Austrian and that Hitler in fact was German.

Austrian joke, What's the greatest trick the Austrians ever pulled off?

Did you hear about what happened to the Austrian prince?

He got serbed

What is the greatest accomplishment of the Austrian people?

Successfully convincing the rest of the world that Beethoven was Austrian and that Hitler was German.

A Canadian, a Swiss, a German, a Mexican, a American, a Korean, a Austrian, a Brazilian, a Estonian, a Filipino, a British, a Egyptian, a Icelander, a Jamaican, a South African, a Puerto Rican, a Chinese, a Latvian, a Moroccan, a Taiwanese, a Spaniard, and a Romanian walk into a fancy restaurant.

The waiter stops them and says Sorry, you can't come in here without a Thai.

There is this guy from the Czech Republic that plays chess with his Austrian friend.

Czech mate.

Austrian joke, There is this guy from the Czech Republic that plays chess with his Austrian friend.

TIL that Austrian physicist Erwin Schrodinger suffered from a debilitating bowel condition that would often result in him soiling himself unexpectedly.

However, it was impossible for him to tell when he had had an accident, and lived in a perpetual state of both being soiled and unsoiled simultaneously.

This became known as Schrodinger's Scat.

What do you call an Austrian woman's undergarments?

A Freudian Slip.

Why are Austrians so good at telling jokes?

They live in hill-areas.


"No, she's Austrian, but her father was Czech"

You can explore austrian sauerkraut reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean austrian mussolini dad jokes. There are also austrian puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Some people wonder why Arnold Schwarzenegger hasn't run for President...

It's only because he's Austrian. And we all know what happened last time an Austrian came to power...

What do you call an Austrian who believes in flat earth?

Nothing, they don't exist

Have you heard of the Austrian man Duerf?

He was the world's leading reverse psychologist

A German, An Austrian and a Czech are walking down the street.

A German, An Austrian and a Czech are walking down the street, suddenly the German stops.

"Vait up you guys. I need to slip into ze bank for und moment." says the German. The trio walk towards the bank and the German and the Austrian walk inside. They turn around. The Czech is stood in the doorway.

"Vhat are you vaiting for?" asks the Austrian.

"It says no checks." replies the Czech.

Switzerland on Austrians: Why is the Austrian flag 'red-white-red'?

So that they can't raise it upside-down

Austrian joke, Switzerland on Austrians:  Why is the Austrian flag 'red-white-red'?

What's Austrian and took over France?


Why was the Austrian composer so hard to find?

Because he was Haydn.

If the Swiss flag is a big plus...

... the austrian flag is a big minus.

What do you call a Bavarian?

Half Austrian and half human being.

How are Libertarians and National Socialists similar?

They both follow Austrian economics.

Austria, mid-1950s

Once upon a time in an Austrian elementary school, the children were preparing for the school play. This year it was about classical musicians. The teacher asked some students who they'd like to portray in the production. Hans wanted to be Mozart, Johan wanted to be Beethoven, and Karl wanted to be Brahms. When little Arnold was asked, he replied "I'll be Bach!"

What do you call an Austrian who is new to playing a game?


Who was that Austrian F1 driver, Niki erm Niki..



What Do You Call a Group of Starving Austrian Separatists?


As an Austrian, you know what really bothers me about German electronics?

They don't come without an Anschluss.

An American, a German and a Austrian

How many Jews can you fit in a car?

One hundred. Five and the rest in the ashtray.

(An Austrian friend told me this joke.)

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the austrian gestapo jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working austrian spaniard piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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