The Best 29 Austria Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Austria jokes. There are some austria zis jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these austria austrian puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Austria Jokes and Puns

How do you ask an Austrialian for nudes?

sapnu puas

An Austrian travels to France where he has to pass security.

Airport security:"Nationality?"

Austrian: "Austria"

Airport security: "Occupation?"

Austrian: "Nein, nein, only vacation"

What Austrian girls and wine have in common?

Both mature in a cellar.

Austria joke, What Austrian girls and wine have in common?

Three generations apart, watching a soccer game

"Hey great grandpa, watch this soccer game!"

"Sure, which two countries are playing?"

"Austria - Hungary."

"Against who?"

Why was Austria-Hungary?

Turkey wasn't around yet.

Austria declares war on China:

„We have 200 soldiers and 3 Tanks

China accepst: „We have 4 Million Soldiers, a Million Tanks an a couple hundred nuclear warheads

Austria replies:„We abort the declaration, we can't provide enough accomodations for the war prisoners

Grandad asked what's on TV; I said "Austria and Hungary are playing". He asked

"against who?"

Austria joke, Grandad asked what's on TV; I said "Austria and Hungary are playing". He asked

19th century monarchy humor, anyone?

So Otto von Habsburg walks into a sports bar, sees a game on, and asks the bartender who's playing. "Austria and Hungary," he replies. Otto: "Yeah, who are they playing against?"

One day a giant tornado went through Austria...

...but luckily all the children were already in the basement.

Why are Austrians so good at telling jokes?

They live in hill-areas.

I just got deported by the government of Austria due to my bad Arnold Scharzenegger impressions, and all the flights to America are full.

Don't worry, I'll just get to the helicoper

You can explore austria hungary reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean austria denmark dad jokes. There are also austria puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Why did Turkey disappear?

Because Austria was Hungary.

Asked my grandpa if he watched Austria Hungary football match

he asked me who played against

I was traveling in europe

Went to Austria with a tour group and stopped at a famous cemetery, we could all here a strange sound, after afew minutes I asked the tour guide 'what's that noise?' He looked me without missing a beat and said "don't worry its just Beethoven de-composing"

Arnold Schwarzenegger was ostracised when he was young.

After taking steroids, however, he was Austria sized.

What do you call an extraterrestrial life form from Austria?


Austria joke, What do you call an extraterrestrial life form from Austria?

What's Austrian and took over France?


Today's FIFA match will be played by Austria and Hungary

Me: Against whom?

Why was the Austrian composer so hard to find?

Because he was Haydn.

My friend asked me if I was hungry...

I said no, I'm Austria.

As an Austrian, you know what really bothers me about German electronics?

They don't come without an Anschluss.

Why is Austria Hungary like a prime number?

Because it is inseparable and indivisible.

Austria, mid-1950s

Once upon a time in an Austrian elementary school, the children were preparing for the school play. This year it was about classical musicians. The teacher asked some students who they'd like to portray in the production. Hans wanted to be Mozart, Johan wanted to be Beethoven, and Karl wanted to be Brahms. When little Arnold was asked, he replied "I'll be Bach!"

What do Arnold Schwarzenegger and Adolf Hitler have in common?

They are both politicians, their name starts with A, they are from Austria, and are seen as national hero's in a foreign country.

Due to growing environmentalist concerns, Germany and Austria decided to limit the amount of ores and minerals they were extracting from the ground.

They said, "Mine fewer!"

Who was that Austrian F1 driver, Niki erm Niki..



My mum asked me if I wanted any breakfast. I said 'no, I'm not Hungary'

I'm Austria

If I had a Euro for every gender in Austria...

I'd have three euros and a whole lot of confusion over what they could buy.

Where do Ostriches come from?


Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the austria italy jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working austria switzerland piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes