Austria Jokes
43 austria jokes and hilarious austria puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about austria that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
From Käiser jokes to jokes about the basement, check out these hilarious Austria jokes that will have you and your friends rolling in laughter. Whether you're an Austro-Hungarian history buff or a VEE fan, these jokes are sure to bring a smile to your face.
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Funniest Austria Short Jokes
Short austria jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The austria humour may include short war jokes also.
- Grandpa, grandpa! I'm watching a soccer game! Who's playing?
Austria-Hungary
Against who? - An Austrian travels to France where he has to pass security. Airport security:"Nationality?"
austrian: "Austria"
Airport security: "Occupation?"
Austrian: "Nein, nein, only vacation" - I'm watching TV My grandfather walks by: What's on?
Me: Soccer
Grandfather: Who's playing?
Me: Austria-Hungary
Grandfather:And Against who? - Three generations apart, watching a soccer game "Hey great grandpa, watch this soccer game!"
"Sure, which two countries are playing?"
"Austria - Hungary."
"Against who?" - Gravity is one of the fundamental forces in our universe but if you remove it you get gravy also austria is not part of nato
- Grandad asked what's on TV; I said "Austria and Hungary are playing". He asked "against who?"
- One day a giant tornado went through Austria... ...but luckily all the children were already in the basement.
- I just got deported by the government of Austria due to my bad Arnold Scharzenegger impressions, and all the flights to America are full. Don't worry, I'll just get to the helicoper
- Asked my grandpa if he watched Austria Hungary football match he asked me who played against
- Arnold Schwarzenegger was ostracised when he was young. After taking steroids, however, he was Austria sized.
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Austria One Liners
Which austria one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with austria? I can suggest the ones about invasion and embassy.
- What's the worst thing about Austria? I don't know, but the flag is a big minus.
- Why was Austria-Hungary? Turkey wasn't around yet.
- Why did the Ottoman Empire change into Turkey Because Austria wasn't Hungary anymore.
- Why did Turkey disappear? Because Austria was Hungary.
- What do you call an extraterrestrial life form from Austria? Australian
- Today's FIFA match will be played by Austria and Hungary Me: Against whom?
- My friend asked me if I was hungry... I said no, I'm Austria.
- Why is Austria Hungary like a prime number? Because it is inseparable and indivisible.
- Why was Austria's neighbour complaining? Because he was Hungary.
- My mum asked me if I wanted any breakfast. I said 'no, I'm not Hungary' I'm Austria
- Where do Ostriches come from? Austria.
- Austria-Hungary You can't be blamed for WWI if you're not a country after WWI
- What was the most popular meat in Austria-Hungary? Vienna-Budapest sausage
- There is no chance yet of WW3. Why you ask? Because Austria hasn't started it yet.
- OMV Austria The Ultimate fighting Barkeeper The one Man fighter, fight alone
Austria Hungary Jokes
Here is a list of funny austria hungary jokes and even better austria hungary puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A kid comes to his grandfather... *"Hey Gramps, do you want to watch soccer with me?*
*"Sure, who's playing?"*
*"Austria-Hungary"*
*"Against whom?* - Guys I'm like next to Austria right now... Hungary, I could really go for a cheeseburger...
Uproarious Austria Jokes to Share with Friends
What funny jokes about austria you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean territory jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make austria pranks.
How do you ask an Austrialian for n**...?
sapnu puas
What Austrian girls and wine have in common?
Both mature in a cellar.
geography test
What is the capital of Austria?
\- Berlin
What is the capital of France?
\- Berlin
What is the capital of Poland?
\- Berlin
All wrong. Adolf, you're gonna fail the test
\- We shall see
Austria declares war on China:
„We have 200 soldiers and 3 Tanks
China accepst: „We have 4 Million Soldiers, a Million Tanks an a couple hundred nuclear warheads
Austria replies:„We abort the declaration, we can't provide enough accomodations for the war prisoners
There was once an Austrian physicist who discovered that the sound of an object changes pitch as it passes by an observer...
...But before he could publish his findings someone stole his work and took all the credit for it.
Turns out the physicist had a Dopplerganger.
19th century monarchy humor, anyone?
So Otto von Habsburg walks into a sports bar, sees a game on, and asks the bartender who's playing. "Austria and Hungary," he replies. Otto: "Yeah, who are they playing against?"
Why are Austrians so good at telling jokes?
They live in hill-areas.
Around 1900, in a school in Austria
The 11-12 year olds were quizzed on European capitals. Teacher asks boy:
What is the capital of Germany? "Berlin!"
What is the capital of France? "Berlin!"
What is the capital of Great Britain? "Berlin!"
Teacher: No son, you failed and were wrong on 2 out of the 3, what was your name again?
"Adolph!"
I was traveling in europe
Went to Austria with a tour group and stopped at a famous cemetery, we could all here a strange sound, after afew minutes I asked the tour guide 'what's that noise?' He looked me without missing a beat and said "don't worry its just Beethoven de-composing"
Why was the Austrian composer so hard to find?
Because he was Haydn.
What's Austrian and took over France?
Croissants
