Australia Zealand Jokes
10 australia zealand jokes and hilarious australia zealand puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about australia zealand that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Cheerful Fun Australia Zealand Jokes for Lovely Laughter
What is a good australia zealand joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
In the mid 1800s a primitive c**... was developed in New Zealand, made from a sheep intestine.
It wasn't until the early 1900s that it made it's way to Australia, where it was immediately improved by removing it from the sheep.
UN Food Survey Fails...
UN Phone Survey
Last month, a world-wide telephone survey was conducted by the UN.
The only question asked was:
"Would you please give your honest opinion about possible solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"
The survey was a complete failure because:
In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant.
In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant.
In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant.
In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant.
In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant.
In South America they didn't know what "please" meant.
In the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.
And in Australia , New Zealand and Britain everyone hung up as soon as they heard the Indian accent.
To all the "I'm moving to Canada" people out there, you're being ridiculous.
You won't be far enough to escape the nuclear fallout. Shoot for New Zealand or Australia.
A bad uber driver drove from New Zealand to Australia.
He got two stars.
Why would New Zealand starting a war against Australia be historical?
It would be the first time New Zealand declared anything against Australia.
The Egg
I'm utterly opposed to any form of egg cracking on anyone's head and I totally condemn the act of the underage violent vigilante who cracked an egg on senators head. However with that being said what it highlights is the endless distribution and importing of eggs all around the world. Rising fear of egg presence all around Australia and new Zealand. The real cause of what happened today was Australian government allowing to import and to produce eggs in their country in the first place. While today the senator is the victim it doesn't make him the blameless. If you banned eggs in the first place it would have been avoided.
(Collected)
(Cr
Who invented the Pavlova, New Zealand or Australia?
Fight, fight, fight, fight!
Donald Trump...
-A big earthquake with the strength of 8.1 on the Richter scale hits the Middle East.
-Two million Muslims die and over a million are injured.
-Iraq, Iran and Syria are totally ruined and the governments don't know where to start with providing help to rebuild.
-The rest of the world is in shock.
-Britain is sending troops to help keep the peace.
-Saudi Arabia is sending oil & monetary assistance.
-Latin American countries are sending clothing.
-New Zealand and Australia are sending sheep, cattle and food crops.
-The Asian countries are sending labor to assist in rebuilding the infrastructure.
-Canada is sending medical teams and supplies.
-President Trump, not to be outdone, is sending back two million replacement Muslims.
A big earthquake with the strength of 8.1 on the Richter scale hits the Middle East .
Two million Muslims die and over a million are injured.
Iraq, Kuwait, UAE, Saudi Arabia and Syria are totally ruined and the governments don't know where to start with providing help to rebuild.
The rest of the world is in shock.
Britain is sending troops to help keep the peace.
Saudi Arabia is sending oil & monetary assistance.
Latin American countries are sending clothing.
New Zealand and Australia are sending sheep, cattle and food crops.
The Asian countries are sending labor to assist in rebuilding the infrastructure.
Canada is sending medical teams and supplies.
President Trump, not to be outdone, is sending back two million replacement Muslims.
An American, an Aussie and a Kiwi are in a bar...
... they sit at the bar and order whiskey.
The American picks up his glass, downs the shot of whiskey and throws the glass into the fireplace. "In America, we got so many glasses, we don't drink out of the same one twice!"
The Kiwi nods, downs his drink throws it up into the air and shoots it with his six-shooter. "Same in New Zealand. So many glasses, we don't dare drink out of the same one twice."
The Australian looks at them both, downs his shot, pulls out his gun and shoots the Kiwi dead. "Too many Kiwi's in Australia, we don't drink with the same one twice."
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