Aussies Jokes

Following is our collection of paedo humor and kow one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Aussies puns for adults, dirty kangaroos jokes or clean brits gags for kids.

There is an abundance of australia jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 11 funniest jokes on aussies. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any laddie witze you can hear about aussies.

The Best jokes about Aussies

An Englishman, an Aussie and a Scotsman are at a bar

An Englishman, an Aussie and a Scotsman are at a bar, all having a beer.

A fly lands in the Englishmans beer, he pushes the beer away with a look of disgust and orders a new one.

A few minutes later another fly lands in the Aussies beer. He flicks the fly out and continues drinking.

Eventually a fly lands in the Scotsmans beer. He reaches in, pulls it out and holds it over his glass, hitting the back of it and starts shouting "Spit it out ya little bastid!"

Paddies vs. Aussies

So two Irishmen are traveling to Australia. Before they leave home, one of their dads gives them both a bit of advice: "You watch them Aussie cab drivers. They'll rob you blind. Don't you go paying them what they ask. You haggle." At the Sydney airport, the Irishmen catch a cab to their hotel. When they reach their destination, the cabbie says, "That'll be twenty dollars, lads." "Oh no you don't! My dad warned me about you. You'll only be getting fifteen dollars from me," says one of the men. "And you'll only be getting fifteen from me too," adds the other.

From the Gallipoli campaign in World War I...

The Australians are interrogating a captured Turkish soldier, when finally poor Mehmet has a question for them.

"Why do you call God such awful names? Why do you curse Him when your soldiers go into battle?"

The Aussies were surprised. "What do you mean?"

"Well, when we Turks leap out of our trenches and charge your lines, we cry 'Allah! Allah!' But when you charge us, you shout 'Bloody BASTAAARRRDD!!!'"

Aussies dont have sex


Brits, Aussies, and Kiwis will most likely only get this:

Remember Bill and Ben, The Flowerpot Men?

One day, Bill says to Ben, "Flobadobglibglobbloobleglob!"

And Ben say, "If you loved me, you'd swallow that....."

What do you get when Woolies burns down? (One for the Aussies)


Americans tend to think us Aussies are all dumb...

But atleast we get our weather information from meteorologists and not groundhogs.

What do Aussies call a kangaroo that lives with them?

A roommate.

3 Canadians, 5 Americans, 2 Franks, 1 Arab, 6 Brits, 4 Aussies and 2 Chinese are in line to board a plane from Texas to New York.

Who gets randomly searched?

What's an Aussies favorite kind of pie?

Boo meringue

Aussies have sex on the mind all the time...

Eh, mate?

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes