Aussi Jokes
41 aussi jokes and hilarious aussi puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about aussi that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Aussi Short Jokes
Short aussi jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The aussi humour may include short shes jokes also.
- What's the difference between and Aussie and a Yoghurt? If you leave a yoghurt out in the sun for 200 years, it will develop a culture.
- An Australian with two bad eyes may not be the best at making you feel good... But an Aussie with one good eye might...
- Old Aussie joke: Why is the lady on the Red Heads matchbox always smiling?
There are 48 heads in her box - of course she`s happy! - I asked Aussie if he could name one thing he loves to do the most? He said, I'd love to mate.
- My aussie friend was clearly impressed with me.. When i spotted him amongst the dense crowd of people.
Without skipping a beat, first thing he said to me was, good eye mike! - What did one French Guy say to another French Guy? "Bonjour, je m'apelle Guy aussi!"
("Hello, I am called Guy as well!") - As an Aussie; 10am is when I make a cuppa Twinings English Breakfast for the local marsupials it's a really koala tea time
- I told an Aussie friend I was having trouble rooting my phone He replied, "Maybe try buying it dinner first, mate. "
- An Aussie wins a game of chess and calls for the bill, then his friend collapses in his chair. He says: Checkmate. Check, mate then Checks his mate
- What do you get when you cross a creole stew with a big fibber *In Aussie accent*: a jambalaya
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Aussi One Liners
Which aussi one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with aussi? I can suggest the ones about helpline and mate.
- Never confuse a Kiwi with an Aussie. One's a soft, hairy fruit and the other's a kiwi!
- How does the Aussie Chessmaster pay his bills? Checkmate
- How do you ask an Aussie waiter for the bill? 'Checkmate!'
- My Aussie friend doesn't understand Chess He says check mate even when I have a way out
- What do you call an Aussie in the finals of the World Cup? A referee.
- What do Aussie bass strings say? G'DAE!
- What do Aussies call their best friends? A prime mate
- What name did the Aussie give his pal who was in a vegetative state? Vege-mite!
- What should you do if an Aussie throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.
- An Aussie, an Englishman and a Cossack are in a plane. They're going to France.
- What did the Aussie say when his friend ran out of TP? Bidet mate!
- Why didn't the Aussie need to wear glasses? Because he had a good eye, mate!
- What do Aussies call a kangaroo that lives with them? A roommate.
- Aussie chat up line "...bite on this stick sheila..."
- What's an Aussies favorite kind of pie? Boo meringue
Hilarious Aussi Jokes to Make Your Friends Roar with Laughter
What funny jokes about aussi you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bummer jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make aussi pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
As an Aussie, Americans are always asking me where in Australia there *isn't* something trying to kill you...
School is my answer
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
As an Aussie, Americans always ask me where in Australia *isn't* there anything trying to kill me…
School I tell them.
An Aussie phones an ambulance because his mate's been just hit by a car
Aussie: Get an ambulance here quick, he's bleeding from his nose and ears and I think both his legs are broken.
Operator: What is your location sir?
Aussie:On Eucalyptus Street.
Operator: How do you Spell that sir?
Silence..... (heavy breathing) and after a minute or so...
Operator: Are you there sir?
More heavy breathing and another minute later...
Operator: Sir, can you hear me?
This goes on for another few minutes until...
Operator:Sir, please answer me. Can you still hear me?
Aussie: Yes, sorry bout dat... I couldn't spell
eucalyptus, so I just dragged him around to Oak Street.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An Aussie and a Kiwi are sitting at a pub, downing a few beers, after a game of rugby.
The Kiwi turns to the Aussie and says, "Bro, if I shagged your wife over a railing and got her pregnant, would it make us related?"
To which the Aussie replies, "Dunno, mate, but I do know it'll make us even."
An Aussie soldiers and an American soldier are pinned down in the Middle East.
The Aussie gets up and begins flailing his arms and laughing. When he gets back down, the American says
What, did you *come* here to die?
The Aussie responds Nah, I came here yesterday.
An Aussie in the trenches
An Australian soldier is sent to the front lines in France during World War 1 and the gruff American general meets him saying alright private this is the roughest spot in Europe now. Did you come here to die?! The Aussie says Naw mate I came yes to die
Aussie customs
Going through the Australian border control, the customs officer interviewed me and all went well until he asked whether I had any criminal record. He was not impressed with my answer: I didn't know it was still necessary.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My Aussie drug dealer is obsessed with meat from the back of an animal
He was up doing l**... all night.
Two Aussis were playing chess.
They were concentrating really hard but rarely talked. On Move 46, the Aussie played Ke2+ and said "Checkmate."
"What do you mean checkmate? I can move away mate."
