Aussi Jokes
41 aussi jokes and hilarious aussi puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about aussi that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Aussi Short Jokes
Short aussi jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The aussi humour may include short heads jokes also.
- As an Aussie, Americans are always asking me where in Australia there *isn't* something trying to kill you... School is my answer
- As an Aussie, Americans always ask me where in Australia *isn't* there anything trying to kill me… School I tell them.
- What's the difference between and Aussie and a Yoghurt? If you leave a yoghurt out in the sun for 200 years, it will develop a culture.
- A guy got angry at an aussie A guy got really angry at an aussie, so he told him "Go die"
The aussie responded "G'day to you to, mate!" - What's the difference between a French kiss and an Australian kiss? They're the same kiss, but the Aussie one is down under.
- An Australian with two bad eyes may not be the best at making you feel good... But an Aussie with one good eye might...
- Japanese Camera
There's a Japanese firm that has developed a camera with a shutter speed so fast it can actually catch an Aussie with his mouth shut.
- Old Aussie joke: Why is the lady on the Red Heads matchbox always smiling?
There are 48 heads in her box - of course she`s happy! - I asked Aussie if he could name one thing he loves to do the most? He said, I'd love to mate.
- Americans tend to think us Aussies are all dumb... But atleast we get our weather information from meteorologists and not groundhogs.
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Aussi One Liners
Which aussi one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with aussi? I can suggest the ones about shes and box.
- Never confuse a Kiwi with an Aussie. One's a soft, hairy fruit and the other's a kiwi!
- An Aussie kiss is like a French kiss... But down under
- How does the Aussie Chessmaster pay his bills? Checkmate
- How do you ask an Aussie waiter for the bill? 'Checkmate!'
- What does an Aussie say when it's time to pay the bill? Checkmate!
- My Aussie friend doesn't understand Chess He says check mate even when I have a way out
- What do you call an Aussie in the finals of the World Cup? A referee.
- What do Aussie bass strings say? G'DAE!
- What do Aussies call their best friends? A prime mate
- What do you get when Woolies burns down? (One for the Aussies) Coles.
- What name did the Aussie give his pal who was in a vegetative state? Vege-mite!
- What should you do if an Aussie throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.
- An Aussie, an Englishman and a Cossack are in a plane. They're going to France.
- What did the Aussie say when his friend ran out of TP? Bidet mate!
- Why didn't the Aussie need to wear glasses? Because he had a good eye, mate!
Hilarious Aussi Jokes to Make Your Friends Roar with Laughter
What funny jokes about aussi you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean helpline jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make aussi pranks.
An Aussie phones an ambulance because his mate's been just hit by a car
Aussie: Get an ambulance here quick, he's bleeding from his nose and ears and I think both his legs are broken.
Operator: What is your location sir?
Aussie:On Eucalyptus Street.
Operator: How do you Spell that sir?
Silence..... (heavy breathing) and after a minute or so...
Operator: Are you there sir?
More heavy breathing and another minute later...
Operator: Sir, can you hear me?
This goes on for another few minutes until...
Operator:Sir, please answer me. Can you still hear me?
Aussie: Yes, sorry bout dat... I couldn't spell
eucalyptus, so I just dragged him around to Oak Street.
An Aussie and a Kiwi are sitting at a pub, downing a few beers, after a game of rugby.
The Kiwi turns to the Aussie and says, "Bro, if I shagged your wife over a railing and got her pregnant, would it make us related?"
To which the Aussie replies, "Dunno, mate, but I do know it'll make us even."
An Aussie soldiers and an American soldier are pinned down in the Middle East.
The Aussie gets up and begins flailing his arms and laughing. When he gets back down, the American says
What, did you *come* here to die?
The Aussie responds Nah, I came here yesterday.
An Aussie in the trenches
An Australian soldier is sent to the front lines in France during World War 1 and the gruff American general meets him saying alright private this is the roughest spot in Europe now. Did you come here to die?! The Aussie says Naw mate I came yes to die
Aussies dont have s**...
They MATE
Aussie customs
Going through the Australian border control, the customs officer interviewed me and all went well until he asked whether I had any criminal record. He was not impressed with my answer: I didn't know it was still necessary.
Aussies : No One can come without vaccination!
Djokovic: Ah, No 1 can come without vaccination.
My aussie friend was clearly impressed with me..
When i spotted him amongst the dense crowd of people.
Without skipping a beat, first thing he said to me was, good eye mike!
What did one French Guy say to another French Guy?
"Bonjour, je m'apelle Guy aussi!"
("Hello, I am called Guy as well!")
As an Aussie; 10am is when I make a cuppa Twinings English Breakfast for the local marsupials
it's a really koala tea time
An Aussie wins a game of chess and calls for the bill, then his friend collapses in his chair.
He says: Checkmate. Check, mate then Checks his mate
My Aussie drug dealer is obsessed with meat from the back of an animal
He was up doing l**... all night.
