The Best 27 Aussi Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Aussi jokes. There are some aussi red jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these aussi box puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Aussi Jokes and Puns

As an Aussie, Americans are always asking me where in Australia there *isn't* something trying to kill you...

School is my answer

Old Aussie joke: Why is the lady on the Red Heads matchbox always smiling?

There are 48 heads in her box - of course she`s happy!

What did one French Guy say to another French Guy?

"Bonjour, je m'apelle Guy aussi!"
("Hello, I am called Guy as well!")

Aussi joke, What did one French Guy say to another French Guy?

How do you ask an Aussie waiter for the bill?


Aussie chat up line

"...bite on this stick sheila..."

What did the Aussie say when his friend ran out of TP?

Bidet mate!

What do Aussies call a kangaroo that lives with them?

A roommate.

Aussi joke, What do Aussies call a kangaroo that lives with them?

What should you do if an Aussie throws a grenade at you?

Pull the pin and throw it back.

An Aussie, an Englishman and a Cossack are in a plane.

They're going to France.

Aussies dont have sex


How does the Aussie Chessmaster pay his bills?


You can explore aussi shes reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean aussi lady dad jokes. There are also aussi puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

My Aussie drug dealer is obsessed with meat from the back of an animal

He was up doing loins all night.

As an Aussie; 10am is when I make a cuppa Twinings English Breakfast for the local marsupials

it's a really koala tea time

What do Aussie bass strings say?


An Aussie kiss is like a French kiss...

But down under

Why didn't the Aussie need to wear glasses?

Because he had a good eye, mate!

Aussi joke, Why didn't the Aussie need to wear glasses?

My aussie friend was clearly impressed with me..

When i spotted him amongst the dense crowd of people.

Without skipping a beat, first thing he said to me was, good eye mike!

Aussies have sex on the mind all the time...

Eh, mate?

You know you're an Aussie if...

sᴉɥʇ pɐǝɹ uɐɔ no⅄

What name did the Aussie give his pal who was in a vegetative state?


What's an Aussies favorite kind of pie?

Boo meringue

My Aussie friend doesn't understand Chess

He says check mate even when I have a way out

An Aussie wins a game of chess and calls for the bill, then his friend collapses in his chair.

He says: Checkmate. Check, mate then Checks his mate

An Aussie soldiers and an American soldier are pinned down in the Middle East.

The Aussie gets up and begins flailing his arms and laughing. When he gets back down, the American says

What, did you *come* here to die?

The Aussie responds Nah, I came here yesterday.

Two Aussis were playing chess.

They were concentrating really hard but rarely talked. On Move 46, the Aussie played Ke2+ and said "Checkmate."

"What do you mean checkmate? I can move away mate."

An Aussie phones an ambulance because his mate's been just hit by a car

Aussie: Get an ambulance here quick, he's bleeding from his nose and ears and I think both his legs are broken.

Operator: What is your location sir?

Aussie:On Eucalyptus Street.

Operator: How do you Spell that sir?

Silence..... (heavy breathing) and after a minute or so...

Operator: Are you there sir?

More heavy breathing and another minute later...

Operator: Sir, can you hear me?

This goes on for another few minutes until...

Operator:Sir, please answer me. Can you still hear me?

Aussie: Yes, sorry bout dat... I couldn't spell
eucalyptus, so I just dragged him around to Oak Street.

What does an Aussie say when it's time to pay the bill?


Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the aussi helpline jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working aussi bien piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes