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Auschwitz Jokes

91 auschwitz jokes and hilarious auschwitz puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about auschwitz that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Auschwitz Short Jokes

Short auschwitz jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The auschwitz humour may include short jew jokes also.

  1. Did you hear that Auschwitz had to ask visitors to stop playing Pokemon Go? They got tired of people pretending to be Ash.
  2. I don't know why people are surprised when I tell them my Grandfather Made it out of Auschwitz. Most of the German officers did.
  3. I used to brag to my grandson about how many girls I picked up at Auschwitz. He said it doesn't count since I used a dust pan and brush.
  4. I don't understand why people are in awe when I tell them my grandfather survived Auschwitz. Most of the other German officers did too!
  5. So many jokes about the Holocaust but how would you feel if your grandparent died in Auschwitz? My grandad did, he fell off the guard tower.
  6. The Auschwitz-Birkenau Museum released a PSA that visitors were not allowed to play Pokemon GO! Because they didn't want people pretending to be Ash
  7. How do you pick up a girl from Auschwitz? With a dust pan
  8. How do you pickup chicks in Auschwitz ? With a dustpan..
  9. What is the best formula for leaving Auschwitz? Lenght of chimney x wind speed
  10. What do you call the oompa loompas at Auschwitz? Concentrated orange jews.

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Auschwitz One Liners

Which auschwitz one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with auschwitz? I can suggest the ones about gulag and ovens.

  1. What do you call gingers in Auschwitz? Concentrated Orange Jews
  2. What's the best thing about going to Auschwitz? Plenty of seats on the train ride home.
  3. My grandfather died at auschwitz He had a heart attack after he saw the gift shop prices.
  4. My Grandfather died in Auschwitz Poor guy fell out of the guard tower
  5. What did the Jews rate their stay at Auschwitz? One star.
  6. What's the best way to pick up a Jewish girl?
    Bring a dustpan to Auschwitz
  7. Did you know Auschwitz has the highest hotel rating? 1.1 million stars
  8. What's the best hotel in the world? Auschwitz. 1.3 million stars.
  9. Jews rated their trip to auschwitz It was one star
  10. The men's group at my synagogue took a trip to see Auschwitz. They all gave it one star.
  11. What is the most successful hotel? Auschwitz, 6 million stars.
  12. What's the worst place to run in to your ex girlfriend? Auschwitz
  13. What's the best campsite in the world? Auschwitz, received well over three million starts
  14. My grandpa died in Auschwitz He fell down from the watchtower.
  15. Why did so many jews die at Auschwitz? Because the exit doors were coin operated.

Auschwitz joke, Why did so many jews die at Auschwitz?

Howlingly Hilarious Auschwitz Jokes for an Unforgettable Evening

What funny jokes about auschwitz you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean holocaust jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make auschwitz pranks.

I got in trouble during high school for m**.

.. in the showers.
Apparently it completely ruined the trip to Auschwitz.

I hate jokes about jewish people because my grandpa died in auschwitz!

he got drunk and fell off the watchtower....

What did h**... say when he heard that the Allies were winning?

AUSCHWITZ!!!

My grandfather was killed at Auschwitz :(

He fell out of the guard tower shooting at the Jews.

What did h**... say from heaven when the Russians took over Auschwitz

Stop it that's Mein Kampf!

I was expelled from school for m**... in the showers

The teachers said I ruined the trip to Auschwitz

I'm getting really sick of all the Holocaust jokes...

My great grandfather died at Auschwitz, so I find these jokes really offensive. Granted, he fell out of a guard tower and broke his neck, but I think that still counts.

Does anyone know why my friends are so shocked to find out my Grandfather survived Auschwitz?

I mean, most German officers did, right?

Caffeine makes me so gassy...

... so I think Auschwitz to decaf

How good are the showers at Auschwitz?

They're to die for.

How do you get to Auschwitz from Berlin?

You have to take the Third r**....

Worst day ever!

#Auschwitz

What did the train say on the way to Auschwitz?

Jew-Jew

I've started up a chip shop in Auschwitz.

I called it "Arbeit Macht Fries".

What would Germans call a painfully offensive joke?

Ouchwitz
>say ouch when offended or in pain
>Witz is the German word for joke
>sounds like auschwitz

Whats a mile long and has a thousand arms?

The train to Auschwitz.
Some German guy i used to play Path of Exile with told it to me.

What was Adolf h**...'s campaign slogan?

*"Auschwitz the old, in with the Jews!"*

Dark jokes Saturday: What is the most offensive brand name you can come up with? Winners get gold!

My contribution:
"Auschwitz" air freshener.

What Pokémon can you find at Auschwitz?

Gastly

I went to Auschwitz to hunt for Pokémon..

What I saw was ghastly.

I heard that Auschwitz had to ask people to stop playing Pokemon Go.

Which is weird, because they have the same slogan.
Gotta catch 'em all.

Holocaust jokes aren't funny. My great grandfather died in Auschwitz.

He fell off of a watch tower.

My friend got caught w**... in the showers on a school trip.

It really ruined the tour around Auschwitz.

What do you call a n**...'s concealed weapon?

Auschwitz blade!

A 9/11 widow, a black s**..., a jew who survived Auschwitz and a clairvoyant walk in to the Challenger Spacecraft

"I don't like where this joke is going" says the clairvoyant

People should really stop making jokes about major tragedies. My grandpa died in Auschwitz...

He fell off a watchtower

The Romans once said "All roads lead to Rome"

Much like how the n**...'s said "All railroads lead to Auschwitz"

My friends David reviewed Auschwitz on Tripadvisor...

..he gave it a star.

A friend of mine got caught m**... in the showers.

It completely ruined our class trip to Auschwitz.

Could you guys not make jokes about the holocaust here? My grandfather died in the holocaust, and it's really offending me.

He fell out of one of the guard towers at Auschwitz

A German and a Frenchman walk into a bar.

After buying the German a beer, the Frenchman asks where his is from.
"Auschwitz," the German replies.
"Is it weird living there, especially with its history?" The Frenchman asks.
"Yes, but the services are incredible."
"Oh really?"
"Yes. Cheap gas and free showers."

h**... asks a jewish kid...

h**... wants to hear the dreams of jewish kids. So, he visits Auschwitz and finds one kid sitting in a corner, freezing to death.
"Hallo kinder, what is your dream?"
"Herr h**..., when I grow-"
"IF..IF you grow up."

What Gives Me Uncontrollable Gas?

Auschwitz.
(I played this hand in CAH <3)

How do you catch chicks in auschwitz?

With a dust pan

What Do You Call a Fight Between Auschwitz Prisoners

Star Wars

Concentration camps are not a matter to joke about! People died there and it is not funny. My Grandpa died in Auschwitz

He fell from the guard tower

My grandfather was a Holocaust survivor and made it out of Auschwitz alive.

Then again, most of the Waffen SS did.

What is a jews favorite gaming console?

Auschwitz

My grandfather did not come back from Auschwitz.

Turned out he got a permanent job.

Did you know that Auschwitz was good for the health?

Everyone quit smoking.

Whats the difference between a boy scout and someone in auschwitz?

Only the scout gets to leave the camp.

What do you call Auschwitz inmates from Riga?

Rigatoni al forno.

I'm almost certain that, like Hogwarts, Auschwitz was a secret school for wizards

Well? How many people have you seen turn into smoke that weren't magicians?

What do you call a hot shower in Auschwitz

A gas stove
I couldn't fine dark jokes... I'm sorry

It's a well-known fact that the slogan at the entrance of Auschwitz was the cynical "Work sets you free". Now historians discovered what the sign at the exit read:

"Hot surface, do not touch."

My grandfather helped Jewish families to escape from Auschwitz via the sewers.

He was always cleaning the ovens with water.

What's the difference between a car c**... and Auschwitz?

In a car c**... you get mangled.
In Auschwitz you get Mengele!

The witches in Sabrina the Teenage Witch having a cat called Salem is like...

A Jewish family having a cat called Auschwitz.

Auschwitz

What Germans buy before going on a night out

An old holocaust survivor dies and goes up to heaven....

He asks God,
"How do you get a girl's number in Auschwitz? Roll up her sleeve."
God doesn't laugh.
The Jew shrugs and says, "Eh. I guess you had to be there to understand".

My teacher caught me m**... in the shower.

Totally spoiled our excursion to Auschwitz.

Auschwitz joke, My teacher caught me m**... in the shower.

jokes about auschwitz