Auntie Jokes

Following is our collection of gramps humor and cousin one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Auntie puns for adults, dirty semitic jokes or clean minetti gags for kids.

There is an abundance of boll jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 25 funniest jokes on auntie. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any sister witze you can hear about auntie.

The Best jokes about Auntie

In a progressively incestuous household...

...it's about upping the auntie

A little black kid covered himself with baby powder.

A little black kid covered himself with baby powder and ran up to his mom screaming, "Mama, mama! Look, I'm white!". His mom was very upset and gave him a spanking and told him, "Go and tell your auntie what you told me!"
So he ran up to his auntie and said "Auntie, auntie! Look, I'm white!" His auntie got even angrier and belted him, and said "Go and tell your grandmother what you just told me"
So he ran up to his grandmother and said "Grandma, grandma! Look, I'm white". She got even angrier and beat him harder than both his mom and aunt combined.
After she was done, she asked him, "So what have you learned from this?"
And the kid responded, "I've only been white for about ten minutes and I already hate black people".

My family's surname is depressant, we all share a bleak outlook on life.

Except for my auntie.

My auntie has a traditional remedy for Tourette's.

She swears by it.

My father's sister is obsessed with killing germs,

we call her Auntie Bacterial.


My mom's sister doesn't get Corona.

She has an auntie body.

A young child walks into a shop and says to the person behind the counter

"Can i have some tampax please"

the man says

"sure thing are they for your mother?"

Kid says

"No"

Man says

"for your sister?"

Kid looks bemused and again says

"no"

The man with a confused look says

"well why do you want them?"

Kid says

"on the advert it says you can swim run and ride a bike in them and i cannot do any of those things so thought i would give them a try"



P.s it is an old joke and probably been on here already but idk, my auntie told it me when i was a kid so...

Why did Uncle Sam get a divorce?

His wife was Auntie America.

I come from a family of scientists who share the surname 'Matter.' We all get along, just like the particles we study.

Except for my Auntie Matter.

Had an issue with how the latest season of Game of Thrones ended:

Bit of an auntie climax don't you think?

Kid: why is my cousin named Diamond?

Mother: because your auntie really loves diamonds

Kid: well what about my name?

Mother: never mind about that Richard.


Did you hear about the auntie who plugged her electric blanket into the toaster?

She kept popping out of bed

Whenever I'm afraid of Corona, I remind myself of my mom's six sisters.

So many auntie bodies...

A young boy asks him mum why his cousin is named Diamond...

His mother replies "because your auntie loves Diamonds"

He replies "what about me?"

She responds "enough question Richard"

My auntie has been eating soil for years...

Really keeps her grounded

My auntie gave me a Naked Banana Calender 2018 for Christmas..

I just don't see the apeel.

Which woman has Jesus as a nephew?

The Auntie Christ.

I've got a hot auntie that works for the electric board.

Do you wanna meter?

After trying many medications, my uncle learned he is only happy when his wife is miserable

He now only takes auntie depressants.


My Uncle got in a near-fatal car accident today. I asked him what happened. He said

—your Auntie jumped out the way.

Why did the Italian allergen dislike it's mother's sister?

Because it's auntie ista mean!

inbreeding

Recent levels of inbreeding in the world have fallen.
Time to up the auntie

I just opened a Christmas card and a Yorkshire pudding fell out..

Gotta love my Auntie Bessie

What family member do God and the Devil have in common?

Their auntie Thesis!

None of my uncles are Jewish

But I do have an Auntie Semite

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes