Following is our collection of contestant humor and applicants one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Audition puns for adults, dirty stallone jokes or clean musical gags for kids.
There is an abundance of villain jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 28 funniest jokes on audition. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any test witze you can hear about audition.
I got the lead role!
Little Billy started playing organ when he was 5. He practiced and practiced every day. He had heard of this orchestra from his town that was really hard to get accepted into. This made him want to practice and practice even more. He even got private lessons with a skilled organist. Finally, the day came. He went to the audition room and started to play, but no sound would come out. The organ was broken. The judge immediately arranged for another organ. As Billy began to play, the organ also creaked and then ceased to make a sound. The judge arranged for yet another organ for Billy, but that one broke down as well. The judge suddenly collapsed to the ground.
At the hospital, the doctors pronounced the judge dead and performed an autopsy.
"The cause of death appears to be multiple organ failure."
A man goes to the television station auditioning for an anchor position.
He sits down in front of the camera and begins, soon it is obvious that he has a terrible stutter, and hisleft eye continuously winks.
The producer says, "Thank you for your audition, we'll let you know."
The man says, "W-w-wait a moment, I c-c-can fix this."
He opens his breifcase, and about 200 condoms fall out, he digs deeper and pulls out a bottle of aspitin.
He take a single aspirin, and then re-reads his copy perfectly, his wink having vanished.
The producer is dumbfounded, and he says, "Thanks fantastic, but what's with the condoms?"
The man says, "This is what they give you if you stutter and wink and ask for aspirin at the pharmacy.
Sean Connery's agent calls him up and says "I've got an audition for you tomorrow about 10ish"
Sean says "Great! I'll bring my racket"
A man goes to audition for the circus. The ringmaster says, "Okay, whatcha got?"
The man climbs up the acrobat's mast and dives straight down, 50 feet and picking up speed. Just as he's about to crash, he spreads his arms, lifts his head and *SWOOSH!* pulls up and zooms over the ringmaster's head. He continues flying around the tent, swooping low and somersalting mid-air before gracefully coming to a stop on the trapeze tightrope.
"Well, what do you think?" he asks.
The ringmaster replies, "That's all you got? *Bird imitations?!*"
When he showed up to audition for the segment the talk show host asked him what talent he was going to perform. The man explained "I imitate birds." The talk show host laughed, waving him away saying "thousands of people can imitate birds. We want something nobody has ever seen before." The man shrugged, flapped his arms, and flew away.
Who tells him that an up-and-coming director is looking for German- and Austrian-born actors for a movie.
"It's a little different than the stuff you're known for," the agent says, "It's a period piece about classical music composers. Should I arrange an audition?"
"There is no need," Arnold says. "I'll be Bach."
I didn't make the cast.
I think I'm ready to audition for "American Idle "
Shirley you can't be Sirius.
They told me "you win"
He was auditioning as a low key, low-key, Loki.
...but I acted like I didn't care.
but i was turned away as i wasn't on the short list
He would get repeatedly rejected from every audition. One day he tried out for a role as a vampire. The casting director told him he had never seen anyone suck so bad.
but I didn't make the cut
He heard he might be playing a big roll
... they looked me right in my face & said sorry kid you don't have the Chops.
I told an actual joke.
"Cast her as the Hulk. She's been Bruce before."
His number was (000)-000-0000.
But they told me my acting was wooden.
I said in disbelief, "which company was that? we must report them!"
he replied, "It was an audition for the role of Queen Elizabeth"
"Just go in there and be yourself."
Unfortunately, I was a white male.
If you break a leg, you get cast
For Louis C.K in a tiny room. He found it pretty uncomfortable but at least it wasn't Spacey.
ensures that you end up in the cast.
Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.