Audition Jokes
48 audition jokes and hilarious audition puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about audition that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Audition Short Jokes
Short audition jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The audition humour may include short interview jokes also.
- Why do people say "break a leg" before an audition? It's so that they'll end up in a cast.
- Why did the winter solstice audition for a singing competition? It wanted to show off its "illuminating" voice.
- Sean Connery's New Job Sean Connery's agent calls him up and says "I've got an audition for you tomorrow about 10ish"
Sean says "Great! I'll bring my racket" - A former doctor broke his leg while auditioning for a play. Fortunately, he could still make the cast.
- I decided to audition for the middle earth Church Bell Ringers Society. It's not difficult to join, as they have but one rule to ring them all:
Toll keenly. - After experiencing Lethargy for almost 2 months now......... I think I'm ready to audition for "American Idle "
- What did they tell the most famous child actress from the 30's when she tried to audition for a role in Harry Potter? Shirley you can't be Sirius.
- I've been holding auditions for actors to play a new Fantastic Four team this afternoon... ... it's so stressful.
It's just been one Thing after another. - I auditioned to be on the remake of "Snow White" but i was turned away as i wasn't on the short list
- What do auditioning for an acting role and playing sports have in common? If you break a leg, you get cast
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Audition One Liners
Which audition one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with audition? I can suggest the ones about talent show and theatre.
- I auditioned for a musical about the periodic table I got the lead role!
- A doctor broke his leg while auditioning for a play. He made the cast.
- I've really got to stop being so anti-semitic... or else I'm going to get audited soon
- Stevie Wonder should be on The Voice He'd probably kill the blind auditions.
- I auditioned for a TV show for people with broken bones. I didn't make the cast.
- I auditioned to be on "The Biggest Loser"... They told me "you win"
- Sherlock Holmes got audited by the IRS. He had too many deductions.
- I had a bad audition... ...but I acted like I didn't care.
- Why was the baguette excited for his audition? He heard he might be playing a big roll
- Did you hear about the scissor that auditioned? He didn't make the cut.
- What did britney spears say when she got a letter from the IRS? "Oops, audited again"
- I tried to audition for a movie about emos but I didn't make the cut
- I failed my audition as Amy Schumer I told an actual joke.
- Yo mama so ugly when she auditioned for a horror movie they sent her to a professional!
- Breaking a leg during an audition ensures that you end up in the cast.
Audition Role Jokes
Here is a list of funny audition role jokes and even better audition role puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What did the producer say after seeing Caitlyn Jenner's audition for a Marvel movie role? "Cast her as the Hulk. She's been Bruce before."
- I auditioned for a role in Star Wars: The Force Awakens Unfortunately, I was a white male.
- I auditioned for the joker role for a Batman movie .. I did not get it because they thought I was too funny.
- A chemist auditioned for the play He got a 82 role!
Rib-Tickling Audition Jokes that Bring Friends Together
What funny jokes about audition you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean talent jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make audition pranks.
Our company recently did a password audit, it was found that an employee was using the following password:
**"VaderObiwanLukeBobafettGandalfFrodoGimliLegolasSacramento"**
When asked why he had such a long password, he rolled his eyes and said: *Hello! It has to be at least 8 characters and include at least one capital."*
The blonde's password
During a recent password audit, it was found that a blonde was using the following password: "MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento"
When asked why such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital.
I was auditioning for a play today, and the director yelled at me. He said my acting reminded him of a female reproductive o**...! Needless to say I stormed off…
But after I thought about it, I went back. I had to apologize for o**... acting.
I went for an audition at a talent agency today.
They asked "so what's your special talent?"
I said "I do bird impressions!"
They said "sorry, that's not original we have had loads of them!"
I said "fair enough!!"...
and flew out the window.
A man auditioned for a talent show
A man auditioned for a talent show and when he walked on to the stage the judge asked him what was his talent. The man replied "I do bird impressions".The judge said "Thats not something we would be interested in". The man said "Thats ok" and flew out the window.
My wife agreed to a s**... tape
but she got mad at me when I held auditions for her part.
The wife's back on the warpath again...
She was up for making a s**... movie last night, and all I did was suggest we should hold auditions for her part.
I auditioned for the WWE a few years ago
I auditioned for the WWE a few years ago under the wrestling name 'Paperman'.
I failed to get in though.
At the time Dwayne Johnson was the champion, and the bosses didn't want me beating him.
A man goes to audition for an anchor position at a local tv station
A man goes to the television station auditioning for an anchor position.
He sits down in front of the camera and begins, soon it is obvious that he has a terrible stutter, and hisleft eye continuously winks.
The producer says, "Thank you for your audition, we'll let you know."
The man says, "W-w-wait a moment, I c-c-can fix this."
He opens his breifcase, and about 200 condoms fall out, he digs deeper and pulls out a bottle of aspitin.
He take a single aspirin, and then re-reads his copy perfectly, his wink having vanished.
The producer is dumbfounded, and he says, "Thanks fantastic, but what's with the condoms?"
The man says, "This is what they give you if you stutter and wink and ask for aspirin at the pharmacy.
Little Billy started playing o**... when he was 5
Little Billy started playing o**... when he was 5. He practiced and practiced every day. He had heard of this orchestra from his town that was really hard to get accepted into. This made him want to practice and practice even more. He even got private lessons with a skilled organist. Finally, the day came. He went to the audition room and started to play, but no sound would come out. The o**... was broken. The judge immediately arranged for another o**.... As Billy began to play, the o**... also creaked and then ceased to make a sound. The judge arranged for yet another o**... for Billy, but that one broke down as well. The judge suddenly collapsed to the ground.
At the hospital, the doctors pronounced the judge dead and performed an autopsy.
"The cause of death appears to be multiple o**... failure."
A man heard a talk show was looking for people with unusual talents
When he showed up to audition for the segment the talk show host asked him what talent he was going to perform. The man explained "I imitate birds." The talk show host laughed, waving him away saying "thousands of people can imitate birds. We want something nobody has ever seen before." The man shrugged, flapped his arms, and flew away.
My friend has gotten twelve auditions for movies in the last week alone.
I asked him how and all he could say was "It's this new medication". He never told me what it was, but I could safely assume that it was a fast acting drug.
They're making a movie about classical music composers...
They're making a movie about classical music composers. In the middle of the auditions, Arnold Schwarzenegger walked in and simply declared, "I'll be Bach."
Arnold Schwarzenegger gets a call from his agent...
Who tells him that an up-and-coming director is looking for German- and Austrian-born actors for a movie.
"It's a little different than the stuff you're known for," the agent says, "It's a period piece about classical music composers. Should I arrange an audition?"
"There is no need," Arnold says. "I'll be Bach."
Man auditions for circus
Interviewer asks: "So, what is your talent?"
"I imitate birds" man answered.
"I'm sorry, but that's not something we are looking for our show."
"Ok, thanks for your time anyway" said the man and flew out of the window.
Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris and Arnold Schwarzenegger are all auditioning for a film about composers...
Bruce Willis says "I'll be Mozart", Chuck Norris says "I'll be Beethoven" and Arnold Schwarzenegger says "I'll be Bach".
What's the difference between an IRS audit and prison r**...?
In prison, you have a chance at getting a reach around