Audience Member Jokes
13 audience member jokes and hilarious audience member puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about audience member that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Audience Member Short Jokes
Short audience member jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The audience member humour may include short audience jokes also.
- Why are noble gases the worst audience members for a comedic performance? They don't react.
- So the square root of -1 is performing in a Broadway show Suddenly, an audience member stands up and shouts "I'm sure everyone will agree that i could replace you!"
- I realized that Oprah is one of the few celebrities to love up to her name. Because her audience members Winfrey stuff.
- I realized that Oprah is one of the few celebrities to live up to her name. Because her audience members Winfrey stuff.
***I reposted because of typo in title.
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Uplifting Audience Member Jokes to have Hilarious Fun with Friends
What funny jokes about audience member you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean board member jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make audience member pranks.
An environmentalist was giving a speech and told his audience that if we continue on our present course all life on earth will be gone in 50 years
A member of the audience jumped to his feet and cried out in panic, "What? What did you say?!"
The environmentalist solemnly repeated, "I said if we continue the way we are that every man, woman, and child on earth will be gone in fifty years."
The man sat down in relief and said, "Oh, thank God. I thought you said *fifteen* years."
A man tries to find success as an Anti-motivational speaker
"In today's world of toxic positivity, we need more HEALTHY NEGATIVITY! Acknowledge your limitations! Understand your lack of potential! Remember that in this world of many people, you are NOT SPECIAL and EASILY REPLACEABLE!"
An audience member suddenly stood up, tears streaming down his face.
"Is this what it's like to have a Father?"
During the communist rule
in the USSR a big assembly was held and members of the communist party were giving speeches to the general public. The highest ranking official was making his speech and he proclaimed "soon we will live even better!". This was followed by a voice from the audience "and what about us?!"
The keynote speaker for the medical conference walked up to the stage. "Before I begin," he started, "is there anyone in the audience from Connecticut? "
A couple members of the audience raised their hands. "Ok, thank you. You may put your hands down; I needed to check the accuracy of my CT scans."
During winter break, I visited Paris...
My mother, a fan of operas, brought me to experience one. The performance was phenomenal. Audience members were crying. I'll admit I shed a tear, but when I left the opera house, I found more people crying too! At first, I thought the music could be heard from outside, but it turns out, it was just the tear gas down the street.
The Economy of fiber optics
There´s a presentation on Crypto mining on stage.
Presenter: In 15 minutes minutes we have mined, an incredible 10 bucks in gold.
Audience member Shouts: There´s more gold in Fiber optics than that.
2 test tubes
'We have two test tubes here,' said the professor of IVF studies from Monash University. 'They contain two carefully synthesized ingredients that we can now use to create human life. Solution A is a genetically engineered copy of all the ingredients in the female o**..., while Solution B replicates the active ingredients in male spermatozoa. If I mix them in this aseptic glass container a new human life will be conceived. Now any questions?'
'Could you possibly give us a demonstration?' asked an awed member of the audience.
'I'm sorry, not tonight,' said the professor, 'Solution A has a headache!'
Why You Should Make Love Once A Year
A therapist has a theory that couples who make love once a day are the happiest. So he tests it at a seminar by asking those assembled, How many people here make love once a day? Half the people raise their hands, each of them grinning widely. Once a week? A third of
the audience members raise their hands, their grins a bit less vibrant. Once a month? A few hands tepidly go up. Then he asks, OK, how about once a year?
One man in the back jumps up and down, jubilantly waving his hands. The therapist is shocked—this disproves his theory. If you make love only once a year, he asks, why are you so happy?
The man yells, Today's the day!
At a conference for the arcane and supernatural...
The speaker is interested in the supernatural experiences that the audience members may have been through. "Raise your hand if you have ever seen a ghost" About 80% of the audience raises their hand. "Great" says the speaker "now keep your hand raised if you have spoken to a ghost" Half of them lower their hands. "Ok this is good, now has anyone here had any actual physical contact with a ghost"? Only about ten people still have their hands raised, the excitement of the speaker is palpable "Now, has anyone here ever made love to a ghost"? All hands go down, except for o**... right up the back of the auditorium. "WOW that is amazing sir, please could you come up on to the stage". The man slowly makes his way to the stage, slightly nervous about the attention he is getting. "Sir could you please tell us what that experience was like, to make love to a ghost"? The man edges closer to the microphone and says "ghost? I'm sorry I thought you said GOAT"!