Following is our collection of Audience jokes which are very funny. There are some audience comedian jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these audience enola puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Apparently only DC movies can do that.
I guess they're aimed at a younger audience...
It's nice to have a captive audience.
The first Jewish President has just been elected, and is being sworn in. One man in the audience is watching him take the oath, when he realizes he is sitting next to the President's mother.
She turns to him and says,
"You see that man up there, the one with his hand on the book repeating the sentences?"
"Yeah?" He responds
"His brother's a doctor"
stopped 'cause the audience wasn't feelin' it and I couldn't see the point.
If this isn't the right place for this, kindly redirect me.
There wasn't a dry eye in the audience.
Neither did his audience.
His mother is in the audience, she turns to the man sitting beside her and says "See my son up there? Well, his brother is a doctor!"
He says "uno... Dos..." And then vanishes.
He disappeared without a tres.
So I told a bunch of my friends "I want to make a joke which requires some audience participation."
Then, I proceeded to instruct them to stand, single file, in front of the bowl. Once they had, I told them "Here's the punch line."
This is a completely true story, so I do not regret it.
You can explore audience auditorium reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean audience spectator dad jokes. There are also audience puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
The audience cheers as Beethoven exclaims: "I can't hear you!"
The bartender asks the horse if it's an alcoholic considering all the bars he frequents, to which the horse replies ~~I don't think I am"~~ "I think not!" POOF! The horse disappears.
I did a gig recently where I got booed off stage for saying that I live at home with my parents. As soon as I said it the whole audience starts shouting: Booooo! That's the last time I do a charity gig for an orphanage
So a Mexican magician stands up in front of his audience and tells them, "Ok hombres, on the count of three, I'm gonna make myself disappear! Uno, dos..." POOF! He disappeared without a tres.
He told his audience that he'd disappear on the count of 3. He counted "Uno! Dos!"... And disappeared without a tres.
Because the audience gave him the clap
He disappeared without a tres.
To not wake the audience.
Because he broke a G string while fingering a minor
I guess it's aimed at a younger audience.
He tells the audience he'll disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then *poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
He'd enter the room, say 'sleep' and everyone would fall asleep.
He'd say ''laugh'', the audience would burst out laughing.
One day, he entered the room where he would make his show as usual, but tripped in the stairs; and yelled ''shit''!
The room took three hours to clean.
Both were shot before a live audience.
He's called to the chair.
'Your chosen subject?' asks the presenter.
'Easter Rising of 1916, sir,' he replied.
Time starts now ... What was the date of the Easter Rising of 1916?'
'Pass.'
'Who led the Easter Rising of 1916?'
'Pass.'
'How many men were involved in the Easter Rising of 1916?'
'Pass.'
Suddenly an Irish voice boomed from the studio audience:
'That's right, Paddy - tell them nothing!'
He told the audience that he was going to make his hat disappear on the count of three. So he tapped it with his wand and said, "Uno, dos," and it disappeared without a très.
... she said I should probably stop teaching the 2nd grade.
He couldn't handle his boos.
"I will disappear on the count of three."
He counts down.. "Uno... dos..."
And then he disappears, without a tres.
"Forgive me guys, but I've got butterflies in my stomach."
So, he replaced the word "women" with "white, rich, republican women". The audience stopped complaining.
So here goes:
Walk forwards.
Turn left.
Pasteurization.
A Soviet filmmaker makes a film called Lenin in Warsaw. Everybody shows up for the premiere. The film opens—on Lenin's wife, Krupskaya, naked, having mad sex with another man. And then another. And another. And so on. The film continues in the same vein for ninety minutes.
Finally, the lights come up and the director takes questions from the audience.
First question: Very interesting movie, comrade, but—where was Lenin?
The director answers: In Warsaw.
An Englishman, lecturing on his travels, was speaking disparagingly about the Scots and French in Canada, and how they intermarried with the Indians. "You'll find," he said "quite a number of Scot & French half-breeds, but you will not find any English half-breeds."
A Scot in the audience shouted, "The Indians have to draw the line somewhere!"
Kim Jong-un announced in a news conference that North Korea would be sending a man to the sun within ten years!
A reporter said - "But the sun is very hot. How can your man land on the sun?"
There was a stunned silence. Nobody knew how to react. Then Kim Jong-un quietly answered "We will land at night". The entire audience broke out in thunderous applause !
Back in the White House, Donald Trump and his entourage were watching the news conference on TV. When Trump heard what Kim had said, he sneered - "What an idiot. There is no sun at night time !"
Now, his cabinet broke up in thunderous applause !!
Zach Galifinakis can tell a joke to a full theatre and the audience would love it. If Amy Schumer told the same joke a week later in the same theatre to the same audience, she'd be accused of stealing material
So they don't wake up the audience!
The audience was suprised he could pull it off.
1980s. Soviet Economy minister is making speech at Communist Party session:
- According to latest statistics, our incomes rose 20%, our quality of life rose 30% and our buying economic power rose 40%
From the audience: That's great that YOURS did, but what about OURS??
That the scene where the Nazis entered the stage and said "where is she" the audience shouted "she's in the attic".
A redneck and a Harvard graduate are in a poetry contest where they have to come up with a poem that has the word Timbuktu in it. The Harvard graduate goes first.
Amongst the desert sands
Away ride the caravans
Camels leaving, two by two
Destination: Timbuktu
The audience applauds, thinking that the redneck does not have a chance. Then the redneck goes.
Me and Tim a'huntin' went,
Found some whores in a pop up tent.
They was three and we was two
So I bucked one and Timbuktu!
He says uno, dos... then POOF, he disappears without a tres
I think it will appeal to a wide audience.
A magician says to his audience "I can make myself appear in 100 different places in this room". He says "3, 2, 1, Abracadabra!" Nothing happens so he tries once again, "3, 2, 1, Abracadabra!" Still nothing happens. Flustered he asks to be excused while he checks his handbook. He closes the book and says " Sorry, I've been saying the wrong magic word, 3, 2, 1, Allahu Akbar!" Needless to say his audience was blown away.
Beethoven: Make some noise for the next symphony
Audience: YEAAAAAAAAA!!!
Beethoven: I can't hear you
But that just makes it harder for me.
And for my last trick. I will disappear on the count of 3... Uno. Dos. *Poof* and the magician vanished, without a tres.
Shot in front of a live studio audience.
The first is to always leave the audience wanting more. And the second
When the newsreel comes on the audience stands up and applauds each time he appears on the screen. Stalin is pleased. Modestly, he himself remains seated. After a few moments the man next to him leans over and whispers
Most people feel the same way you do Comrade, but you'll be safer if you stand up.
"He who gives in when he is wrong is wise: but the man who gives in when he is right is..."
"Married," someone shouted from the audience.
I think I should aim for a younger audience.
Shot in front of a live studio audience.
He disappeared without a tres.
they must be aimed at a younger audience
Guess they're aimed at a younger audience.
He says, Uno, Dos........ *poof*....... he disappeared without a tres.
I was at the local library trying to find a specific sound for my video project; that of a displeased audience. I was repeatedly listening to a variety of samples through the miniature speakers on the desk.
Unbeknownst to me, a lady who was sat at the desk in the next cubicle was growing irritated and she leant over,startling me, and screamed PICK A BOO!
What an odd game to play with another adult in a library.
Typically they are aimed at a younger audience.
In a packed auditorium, a hypnotist hypnotized the whole audience with a Pendulum.
Suddenly, the Pendulum fell down.
He said "SHIT"...
It took 3 Days to clean the whole auditorium...
But who am I kidding?
A host enters the circus and announces:
"Now a boy with a phenomenal memory will enter the arena."
A boy enters the stage, drinks a bucket of water and leaves.
The audience begins to scream and express their displeasure.
Then again the host comes out and says: "And now a boy with a phenomenal memory will piss on everyone who sits in the second row."
Everyone sitting in the second row jump up and start to run away.
Host: "Hiding is useless! The boy has a PHENOMENAL MEMORY!"
The therapist asked the audience how many couples have sex daily about 20% of the audience raised their hands
then he asked how many couples have sex weekly about 30% raised their hands
then he asked how many couples have sex monthly the remaining audience raised their hands
Finally he asked how many have sex yearly one guy in the back stood up smiling his hand stood
the therapist asked why are you so happy if you only have sex one time a year ?
the guy answered because today's the day
A Spanish magician announced to his audience that "he would disappear on the count of three" then said "uno, dos" and then disappeared without a tres.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the audience onlookers jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working audience applause piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.